1. Is this something I should take seriously and try to put right; is it something that is worth working on, and investing more energy on?

2. How much is my fault? Is it something I can change further down the road?

3. How much is outside my control; will anything I do really alter the situation or make a lasting difference?

4. Have I done everything I possibly can? Have I tried and exhausted all possible options?

5. Is it something I should put behind me, and decide to walk away from?

. Who else has gone through a similar experience, or had this happen to them? Who can I talk to who will understand, and give me valuable help and advice?

7. What can I learn from this experience?

Often when people feel unloveable, it is tied into one of the following reasons:

1. As a child, a parent or authority figure either told you – or sent out the message that – you were unloveable. Because of that, you came to believe that your core self was deficient, unacceptable or inadequate. Now you find it hard to believe that anyone could ever love you for just being you.

2. You experienced rejection, desertion or abandonment in one of your closest relationships. Now love feels scary - and is a source of anxiety and fear – rather than of healing and security.

3. You feel regret for something you did, or the way you treated a person you loved. Hence, you don’t believe you deserved to be loved, or you fear you will badly hurt someone again.

4. You have developed a series of flawed beliefs which have coloured your expectations for love. For example, you may have concluded that love leads to pain …. or that no-one can be trusted … or love always ends.