Please, call me Frankenstein. Frankenstein was my father, but stealing his name and overriding his presence in the dominant cultural consciousness has been really, really satisfying
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🐉 His Claim - Dark Obsessive Arion Targaryen x Maid!Reader
Aerion Targaryen X Maid reader
TW: Dark Romance / Obsession / Possessive
Behavior / Psychological Control / Power
Imbalance / Maid Reader / Arion Targaryen x
Reader / Bastards / Children / Non-Consent Implied
From the moment Arion Targaryen first laid eyes on you, he decided: you belonged to him. Not in whispers, not in fleeting glances every step, every breath, every heartbeat of yours was claimed before you even knew it.
Weeks passed. The castle whispered of his obsession, though none dared speak it aloud. Every servant and noble who glimpsed the children proof of his claim shivered in silence. The eldest, four, had violet eyes like Arion himself, silver hair that gleamed like moonlight, and a sharp, perceptive look that unnervingly mirrored his father. The two-year-old, clinging to your hip, already had a shock of pale hair and the same piercing violet gaze, fists always seeking comfort yet constantly measuring the room.
And the youngest, still in your heavily swollen belly, kicked relentlessly, a tiny life already marked with Arion's unmistakable bloodline.
Even in the grandest halls of King's Landing, Arion's presence was a storm. Nobles bowed, voices trembling as they whispered, for a single misstep, a careless word against his bastards could vanish them from favour or worse. His eyes, violet and sharp as daggers, could freeze a man mid-sentence. Whispers died before they reached his ears. The bastards were untouchable; their existence a terrifying declaration of his control.
In the privacy of your chambers within the Red Keep, he allowed you a fragile breath of reprieve.
"You need not carry the weight of the castle while carrying mine," he said once, voice low, silk-dark, yet chilling. "The children require you, and I..." He paused, violet eyes scanning you as if measuring every movement. "
'...I require them. And you."
He arranged your duties, ensuring you had enough freedom to care for the eldest and the two-year-old, though every errand, every corner, every step you took still fell under his gaze. There was no true independence, only the illusion of it.
——————————————————————————
The children thrived under his obsessive attention.
The eldest would sit quietly on a small cushioned stool in the corner of your chambers, learning the subtleties of the Red Keep under his watchful gaze.
Violet eyes flicking to his father whenever someone spoke too loudly or too boldly, instinctively reading the room, learning the dangerous weight of being noticed or not noticed by Arion.
The two-year-old clung to your hip but recognized Arion in fleeting moments, staring into those violet eyes with a mixture of curiosity and instinctual reverence. Even the eldest would sometimes whisper questions about him, cautious, knowing not to provoke.
Arion adored them not in softness, but in obsession and possession. Every milestone, every word, every glance was a mark of ownership. Yet he demanded loyalty, awareness of hierarchy, and the unspoken understanding: they were his, and through them, he controlled everything you loved.
——————————————————————————-
At court, in the Red Keep, he was a tempest. Any servant who dared glance at your children or you with disrespect felt the weight of Arion's presence like a blade across their throat. Even whispers of discontent fell silent under his violet glare. He did not need to strike; the mere promise of his wrath kept the Red Keep in line.
He watched you constantly, whether carrying the eldest to the small writing desk in your chambers, holding the squirming two-year-old on your hip, or resting one hand on the youngest in your belly. Every gesture, every stumble, every shiver was a reminder: you, and everything connected to you, belonged to him.
"You see them?" he murmured once, trailing a fingertip along your shoulder. "All of them... mine.
Every step they take, every word they speak... reflects on you. Reflects on me. Do you understand?"
You nodded, chest tight, breath shallow. There was no escape. Not in this castle, not in this life. He had woven every aspect of your existence into his claim: the children, your chambers, the court, even your very body.
And yet... there was a strange, suffocating tenderness in his obsession.
When the eldest climbed into his lap in your chambers, Arion's hands rested on the boy's shoulders like a king claiming his heir, teaching him the power of presence, the silent intimidation of a Targaryen in full command. The boy mirrored his father's gaze, violet eyes sharp, learning both fear and authority simultaneously.
The two-year-old, wriggling on your hip, would babble his first words in Arion's presence, and the prince would smile not warmth, but possessive pride watching how his obsession had multiplied into these children, these living extensions of his ownership.
——————————————————————————
Even the youngest, still in your belly, seemed to respond to him. At night, when he would appear at your door, pressing a hand gently but dominantly against your side, you could feel the baby shift and kick, as if recognizing the master of its life before birth.
"You are mine," he whispered one night, voice silk and steel. "All of you. The eldest, the middle... even the one yet unborn. And no one - no one will take you from me."
You realized then, with a suffocating clarity, that his obsession was complete. The children, your chambers, the court they all bent to his will. And you... you were utterly, terrifyingly, irrevocably his.
You were his worst enemy, the villain who sought to destroy the kingdom, but betrayal never comes from from the other side. You had warned him, you actually did. But he never believed you. Betrayed and broken, you could've let the biggest thorn in your side die with an "I told you so", but you didn't, you saved him and even helped him back to health, and he is forever grateful for you, his savior
Introduction
More about him
Yandere Masochist Spoiled Prince x Gn! Dom Attendant Reader
Prince Cassimir Solvar
The youngest son of emperor Aerion Solvar is known throughout the land as the absolute worst spoiled brat yet no one could lay a finger on him as the beloved last child of the deceased empress. Well, no one except you of course, his faithful attendant and the only one that can kick him off his high horse, and you know very well how much he loves that, how much he loves being punished by his lovely attendant
Introduction
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Yandere 1950's Previously Neglectful Husband x F! Suicidal Housewife Reader
Charles Davis
For a long time he could say everything was perfect, he had a good job, a comfortable home, and a loving marriage to you. But he was never good at looking beneath the surface, he never realized how unhappy you were or how he's been failing as your husband. It was your attempted suicide that finally snapped some sense into him, oh his poor wife, alone and miserable for so long. Don't worry darling, he swears he'll fix this
Introduction
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Platonic Yandere Serial Killer & M! Child Reader
Julian Vane
He had never been fond of children, what was so good about having to cater to a snot nose brat anyways? He'd rather go stalk and hunt down his next prey. That was what he had always believed, until he met you. It was unintentional really, he killed your abusive father for his own reasons but you kept following him after that. He's gotten a tad bit attached despite himself, oh well he supposes he can keep you around, his dear boy
Introduction
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Platonic Yandere Mean Girl Babysitter & GN! Neglected Child Reader
Brie Donovan
Popular, rich, pretty, she had it all. People bent over backwards to please her, it was amusing to watch them stumbling to catch her gaze or cower in fear. But there's was one thing that no one in her school knew about her, she babysat daily, even on weekends. Your family paid well and were highly respected but she saw how neglected you were by your so called loving parents. That won't do, she'll just have to take things into her own hands then. Big sister is here, bunny
Introduction
More about her
Platonic Yandere Previously Neglectful Father & GN! Child Reader
Chief Daniel Calloway
He was never a cruel man, just distant, unreachable. He provided everything you needed, a nice home, a constant supply of money, any resource to achieve your dreams, but never what you actually needed, never himself. He let you grow up in a cold and empty house, he turned away from your pain again and again, he was a coward that almost lost you. But he'll make it up to you, he promises, so just... Stay close, sunshine
He never wanted to be a soldier, he only went for the sake of his mother, to keep her safe even if he had to endure something he never believed in. He wasn't built for war, he was just a kid and so were you. You were like saint that fell from the heavens and into this hell, so stubbornly kind yet so fragile. But war breaks even the strongest of men, it broke him, it nearly broke you, and he won't let it ever again. No matter what it cost, he swears he'll protect you, angel.
You were supposed to be a weapon. You were only supposed to be a weapon. He had created you to prevent this catastrophic war from ever happening, an unstoppable force that was capable of tearing apart enemy forces, a monster. You were never supposed to feel, to choose, to love, but you did anyways and he would rather let the world burn than lose that. So rest assured, father will handle everything, little one.
a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.
-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier Báez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (“home”), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Pirates’ turn to bat, and the Cubs can’t score anymore (for now, but that’s not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of… jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Pirates’ first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesn’t tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. He’s never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and he’s enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. That’s because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubs’ turn to bat is over, and nothing else that’s happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first baseman’s job.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard won’t change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubs’ turn to bat.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesn’t show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
Reblogging with the breakdown of what happened for anyone who isn’t familiar with the rules of baseball and wants to understand why we can’t stop talking about this play.
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For all that I've seen a lot of PHM posts that go on about 'patron saint of [blank]' for Ryland Grace, I don't think I've seen any that address what amounts to the scientific version of that: Mother of/Father of.
In order to be considered for the title of Mother of/Father [scientific field], you have to be the first to make significant contribution in that field. You're setting the groundwork in a way nobody else has. This can obviously cause a lot of debate in the end about who gets the title! That said, I think given the leaps and bounds that Grace makes in several fields of science that take them from the more theoretical to the practical gives him some notable options with strong arguments. So we've got options like: Father of Astrobiology (the discovery and study of Astrophage, Taumoeba, several other forms of life on Adrian, and the study of and first interactions with the Eridians; disproving the Goldilocks zone as the only area viable for life; making significant strides in proving the panspermia hypothesis), Father of Xenolinguistics (first person to create working translator and archive of an alien language), and Father of Interstellar Travel (this would be a title held alongside Dr. Dmitri Komorov, likely with Komorov being listed first, and there would be significant debate on if Grace should hold the title at all. I like to think Dmitri would want to share it though).
All workable cases, all real options. Buuuuut I think my very favorite option though would be the one that is the least open to debate and is the one that I honestly think Grace himself would like best: Father of First Contact.
Because on the one hand, yeah, that's a lot he was mostly doing. First contact with Astrophage, with the Taumoeba, with other life on Adrian, and most of all with the Eridians. The first ever intelligent form of life outside of Earth, he made First Contact with. He found ways to communicate, to establish common ground, to work alongside an alien being. He did something no one else on Earth had ever done before and changed the world with it. He made First Contact and saved the world.
But mostly that means there's a whole field of science that Grace's name is attached to forever because he got to meet his friend. Mostly, Father of First Contact is just a fancy way to say "I love my friend."
1- father of first contact is the cutest option and if you can only have one title that would be best
BUT
2- the funniest opinion imo is him getting several of those so hes one of those "this guy is fuckin everywhere" scientists (i imagine one day in the distant future a group of college kids get together and one of them can be talking about learning of this great biologist that made so many new discoveries and someone else goes "you mean the linguist??" "You mean the ASTRONAUT??" And everyones confused for a little bit until they figure it out)
mercifulmother
2 - This is the ideal vision yes yes yes yes! Grace really went out there and decided to do a 100% speedrun on revolutionizing different fields of science, and now children of the future are going to suffer about it forever. It gets even worse once the political science kids get involved in the conversation. "Do you mean the DIPLOMAT?" STEM vs Humanities showdown is brutal. Trying to write a paper about this man is an absolute nightmare because the interdisciplinary sources on him are in five different sections of the library at any given point. Finding his stuff in a bookstore is even worse.
securitycapecreature
@mercifulmother Ahhhh!!! Yesss oh my those poor kids, im half glad i dont live in that universe rn, his Wikipedia page is the stuff of nightmares
On the other hand, someone does that type of post where they post a screenshot of the "subjects" in a weird wiki page with no context and everyone in the comments identifies him Immediately cause who else
mercifulmother
@securitycapecreature His Wikipedia page is so long and its a nightmare to look at and it can never be confused for anyone else. Its one of the best places to fall into a wikipedia rabbit hole on because you can redirect in so many different directions. He's also the new spiders georg. "'Average scientist discovers 3 field revolutionizing things a year' factoid actually [sic] just statistical error. Average scientist discovers 0 field revolutionizing things a year. Dr. Cpt. Ryland Grace, who lives in space and discovers over 10,000 revolutionary facts each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted."
Grace has come a long way from "no immediate family, you don't even have a dog". He's the Father of First Contact. For the rest of time, as long as human and Eridian civilizations last, at all the points where humans and Eridians (or even humans and other species, or Eridians and other species) meet and interact and find joy in each other, making their own personal First Contacts -- all of those people become Grace's family.
@avoid-avoidance Hey man you can't just make me cry on my own post like that, what the heck??? How dare you???? Like I'd halfway made a connection similar to that (more from a teaching perspective), but not with everyone who makes First Contact after him being Grace's family. I'm so glad you did cause that's beautiful, I love it.
That's his family forever! He's their family forever! He taught them all how to make first contact, how to be with another species, how to love in this totally new way, and that makes them his kids! He's the blueprint humanity learns from! He never stops teaching, and all his students are his kids, and now they're his family too! Augh I'm gonna go get some tissues now, I'm very emotional.
Anyways peer reviewed, highly approved, ten stars, sparkly good job sticker right at the top.
If you've been reading "The chips are set to fall" by the incredible @exactphoify then you also probably know that it's grown into a delightful logic puzzle of trying to keep track of who is who, who's out, who knows what, etc.
(if you haven't, hi, you should be reading "The chips are set to fall," Ilya makes it his personal mission to make the MLH gayer and he's using his impeccable powers of gaydar to make it happen by recruiting everyone into a bet. It's insane and delightful Ilya's Army grows by the second but he mostly refers to them by the order they joined the bet in so it can occasionally be hard to keep track of everyone)
Anyway, I've collated a running list from the author's notes helpfully provided at the end of each chapter, and I'm going back now and starting from the beginning with my own list and posting it in the comments of each chapter. I'll link to the chapter comments here, and the current, up-to-date list up to Chapter 41 (with all the spoilers) is under the cut.
Chapter 1 - 1
Chapter 2 - Mafia
Chapter 3 - Lois Shane
Chapter 4 - Council of Straight Elders
Chapter 5 - 5
Chapter 6 - Pike-Shane Problem
Chapter 7 - State of the Gay Union 2018
Chapter 8 - After Party
Chapter 9 - Underground Journalism and the other kind *
Chapter 10 - Shane's backup
Chapter 11 - Pick 6
Chapter 12 - Shane Hollander, pick-up artist
Chapter 13 - Barrett
Chapter 14 - 14
Chapter 15 - Bianca
Chapter 16 - Dept. of Gay Agriculture
Chapter 17 - Las Vegas Bathroom
Chapter 18 - Powerpoint
Chapter 19 - r/MLHCorruption
Chapter 20 - Bad Meetings
Chapter 21 - Excellence in Noncompliance, Ill-Timing, or Scandal
Chapter 22 - Melnyk
Chapter 23 - And Rivera
Chapter 24 - 24
Chapter 25 - Box Suite
Chapter 26 - Scott Hunter, Politician 2020
Chapter 27 - Democracy, or The MLH Players' Union**
Chapter 28 - Wiebe
Chapter 29 - Ilya’s backup
Chapter 30 - DaddyTrouble69
Chapter 31 - Luca Haas, pick-up artist
Chapter 32 - Nothing bad happens in Carolina
Chapter 33 - When you frame it like that...
Chapter 34 - Heterotitanium
Chapter 35 - Audio Transcripts
Chapter 36 - Happy Birthday, Brad!
Chapter 37 - Shane's Plan
Chapter 38 - 38
Chapter 39 - Box Suite 2: The Box Sweetening
Chapter 40 - State of the Gay Union, 2021
Chapter 41 - Honeymoon Season
Chapter 42 - 42
Other works:
Observational Reports Given by a Serial Monogamist (#7's story)
* the point where I started having to leave multiple comments to include everything
** the point at which I had to add a cheat sheet to the cheat sheet because the notes were becoming unreadable
Up to Date List through Chapter 41
ENDLESS SPOILERS BELOW
These notes have become so long and detailed that it's probably hard to get information, so this first comment is going to be a shortened cheat sheet for the group numbers, and what's been added every time, and the thread below will contain all the additional notes for everyone (like their involvement, etc) and notes on the other armies, acronyms and such.
Notes Added this Chapter:
New Notes for Individual Players/New Numbers:
Ilya Rozanov - about to become commissioner?, at the 2021 MLH Awards Party
#6 (Shane Hollander) - Officially playing for the Centaurs, at the 2021 MLH Awards Party
#7 (Vinny Marcello) - making out with #50 on the dance floor at a gay bar in Brooklyn, has a plan to come out with #50
#10 (Bay) - Identification is likely as we had him down as a likely #10 and we got more confirmation this chapter. MICROPEEN (came out during the chaos of the 2021 MLH Awards), at the 2021 MLH Awards Party, likely the mentioned non-binary player (thanks @PumpkinPrincess22!)
#16 (John Kakogiannis) - at the 2021 MLH Awards Party
#26 (Doblen) - officially outed by the leak, at the 2021 MLH Awards Party
#40 (Jim Rice) - MICROPEEN (came out during the chaos of the 2021 MLH Awards), due to a lot of process of elimination this seems incredibly likely to be #40
#50 - making out with #7 on the dance floor at a gay bar in Brooklyn, is historically not the most cautious of people about this, has a plan to come out with #7
Helthon - No official number (is either #20, #22 or #36) but came out with MICROPEEN, at the 2021 MLH Awards Party
Garza - No official number (is either #20, #22 or #36) but came out with MICROPEEN
Rayan - No official number (is either #20, #22 or #36) but came out with MICROPEEN
Chucky Rhodes - possibly #42 according to some things implied in comments (thanks to @PumpkinPrincess22!)
MICROPEENS (comes out in chaos of MLH Awards)
Rice, Helthon, Garza, Rayan, and Bay, who are #10, #20, #22, #36, and #40 (probably not in order), one is non-binary. Rice is likely #40 and Bay is likely #10 due to previous process of elimination
15 openly queer players in 21/22
There’s multiple rookies joining in 21/22
At the Party (around 30 people total, these are the confirmed ones) -
Ilya Rozanov, Scott Hunter (#1), Shane Hollander (#6), Bay (#10), John Kakogiannis (#16), Doblen (#26), Helthon
Other Notes:
u/sir1589shelf - posts about marriage
u/Gr4mofs1lv3r - scared for the other teams
u/LiveBreatheHockey - Repping for Ottawa on the subreddit
Kavita Kingsley - joint interview with Shane and Ilya
PHOODS (Professional Hockey's Order Of Dick Suckers):
Bisexual Batcave Owner: Ilya Rozanov (Ottawa Centaurs) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ ⌤ - Canon Book Bisexual. Captain.
#1 - Scott Hunter (NY Admirals) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ ⌤ - Canon Book Gay. Captain, comes out for 2017 Cup.
#2 - (Retires after 16/17)
#3 - ( away from Carolina in 17/18, traded to somewhere out West) ° ⁀
#4 - Kowalski ° ™ ⁀
#5 - Baldwin (Vancouver, retires after 2018) * - Minor Canon Book Gay. Goalie, comes out for the 2018 Cup (and is forced into retirement).
#6 - Shane Hollander (Ottawa Centaurs) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ ⌤ - Canon Book Gay. Captain, comes out for 2020 Cup.
#7 - Vincenzo “Vinny” Marcello (New Jersey) * ° ^ ™ ⁀ - Alternate Captain. Potentially outed by Crowell leak.
#8 - Ryan Price (Buffalo 17/18, Toronto Guardians 18/19, retires in 19) - Canon Book Gay. Enforcer, comes out more publicly (sort of already out) in 2019 on Instagram as he retires.
#9 - (Retires after 16/17)
#10 - Bay (Likely?) ° “ ⁀ ⌤ - Comes out for 2021 MLH Awards
#11 - Lundin (Los Angeles) * - Minor Canon Book Gay. Comes out on Instagram summer 2018 and moves back to Sweden.
#12 - Eric Bennett (NY Admirals, retires after 19/20) ^ - Canon Book Bisexual. Goalie, comes out on Instagram in retirement announcement (2020).
#13 - Danylo (Danny) Melnyk (Washington) ° “ ™ † ⁀ - Comes out before 2020 Playoffs. Defenseman, dating Mateo Rivera (#14).
#14 - Mateo Rivera (Washington) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ - Comes out for 2019 Cup. Dating Danny Melnyk (#13).
#15 - (Anaheim) * ° ™ ⁀
#16 - John Kakogiannis (Houston) * ^ ™ ⁀ ⌤
#17 - (Retired by 2021, according to Scott Hunter)
#18 * ⁀ -
#19 - Ricky D’Amato (New Jersey) - Potentially outed by Crowell leak.
#20 - ™ - Comes out for 2021 MLH Awards
#21 - (Retired by 2021, according to Scott Hunter)
#22 - (Anaheim) ° - Comes out for 2021 MLH Awards
#23 - Jethro Young (Utah) * - Captain.
#24 - Wainwright “Wayne Colander” Strainer ⁀ - Retired, not in the league, and also dead. Definitely, totally exists.
#25 - Ray Henderson (Buffalo) ™ ⁀ - Comes out for 2020 MLH Awards. The one who realized he was gay and in love with his roommate.
#26 - Doblen (Nashville) ⌤ - Outed by Crowell leak.
#27 - Silas Wagner - (Washington) ° ™ - Comes out at 2019 MLH Awards.
#28 - Lavelle (retires after 18/19) - Comes out on Instagram (soft launches boyfriend) after retiring.
#29 - Alfred Fredericks (Ottawa Centaurs) ⁀ - Defenseman, comes out on Instagram after Scott Hunter's 2018 Gay State of the Union.
#30 - Beltran (Utah) ™
#31 - Richards (Anaheim) °
#32 - (Toronto) ™ - tells Ilya that Kent has outed Haas (#46) to Crowell
#33 -
#34 -
#35 - ™
#36 - Comes out for 2021 MLH Awards
#37 - (Tampa Bay) ™
#38 - (Columbus) °
#39 -
#40 - Jim Price - (likely, due to a lot of process of elimnation), comes out during 2021 MLH Awards, likely
#41 - Madrigal - on the Union
#42 - (Possibly Chucky Rhodes? Might have been implied in the comments)
#43 -
#44 -
#45 - Troy Barrett (Ottawa Centaurs) † ⁀ - Canon Book Gay. Comes out on Instagram during the 20/21 Season (after RogueMLH posts audio). Players’ Union President, dating Harris Drover (of the Staff and WAG Armies).
#46 - Luca Haas (Ottawa Centaurs) ⁀ - Canon Book Queer. Comes out after Crowell leak. Is u/LiveBreatheHockey on r/MLHCorruption
#47 - Lowery (Booted from Tampa Bay)
#48 - Osmo “Ossi” Junnila (Vancouver) † ⁀(?) -
#49
#50
Also mentioned/relevant:
Chucky Rhodes (Brooklyn Scouts) - Goalie. One of Hollander’s initial guesses to Rozanov, who flirts with him at the 2019 All Stars weekend, possibly #42 according to some things possibly implied in the comments
Jeffries - possibly somewhere on this list
Helthon ™ ⌤ - (is either #20, #22 or #36) Noticed by Barrett to not be at usual 2020 MLH Awards After Party because he was at the Queer After Party, not sure which number, comes out at 2021 MLH Awards
Pena - Voted onto the queer-friendly Players’ Union, and therefore likely in the bet
Kirby - Voted onto the queer-friendly Players’ Union, and therefore likely in the bet
Schwartz - Voted onto the queer-friendly Players’ Union, and therefore likely in the bet
Garza - No official number (is either #20, #22 or #36) but came out with MICROPEEN
Rayan - No official number (is either #20, #22 or #36) but came out with MICROPEEN
Unnamed Player (Boston Raiders) - a rookie who joins the pact in the 19/20 season (likely #42, #43 or #44 due to timing)
Starting a symbol list for the various meetups so it's easier to see who knows about who. Each symbol means all these people know about each other because they were in attendance
* - attended 2018 MLH Awards Party/After party
° - attended 2019 MLH Awards/DICK COMA After Party
^ - attended 2020 All Stars Meet Up
” - attended 2020 Cup Win/After Party at Shane's house
™ - attended 2020 MLH Awards/DICK COMA After Party
† - attended 2021 All Stars Meet Up
⁀ - attended 2021 Cup Win/After Party at Ilya’s house
⌤ - attended 2021 MLH Awards/DICK COMA After Party
MLH Awards Weekend (DICKCOMA):
Fredericks (#29, 2018 Awards)
Silas Wagner (#27, 2019 Awards)
Ray Henderson (#25, 2020 Awards)
Bay (#10 (we think), 2021 Awards)
Jim Rice (#40 (we think), 2021 Awards)
Helthon (Either #20, #22 or #36, 2021 Awards)
Garza (Either #20, #22 or #36, 2021 Awards)
Rayan (Either #20, #22 or #36, 2021 Awards)
During the Season (PENIS):
Ryan Price (#8, 18/19 Season)
Eric Bennett (#12, 19/20 Season)
Troy Barrett (#45, 20/21 Season)
Before the Playoffs (TOPPING):
Danny Melnyk (#13, 2020 Playoffs)
Luca Haas (#46, 2021 Playoffs)
Came Out for Other Reasons/At Other Times:
Lundin (#11, Summer 2018)
Lavelle (#28, Summer 2019)
Lowery (#47, out rookie who does media circus after being booted by Crowell)
Doblen (#26, Crowell Leak)
More Thorough Notes:
PHOODS (Professional Hockey's Order Of Dick Suckers):
Bisexual Batcave Owner: Ilya Rozanov (Boston Bears, traded to Ottawa Centaurs in 2018) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ ⌤ - Canon Book Bisexual. Captain. Marries Hollander Summer 2019, groomsman at Hunter/Grady wedding, apparently has dreams of being the MLH Commissioner, about to become commissioner? (as of 21/22 season). Originator of “SHIT,” “SHANE,” “ASSHOLE” and “MICROPEEN.” Attends 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021 Awards Parties, 2020 All Stars Meet Up and the 2020 Cup Win (where he kisses Hollander) & 2021 Cup Win, comes out as married to Hollander at 2020 Awards Party.
#1 - Scott Hunter (NY Admirals) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ ⌤ - Canon Book Gay. Captain, comes out for 2017 Cup. Recruited at 2017 All Stars, finds out about Shane & Ilya at a fundraiser in Dec 2017, “connections to” #26, tells Crowell there's 6 missing teams (early 2019) and feeds him incorrect teams, has a partner (Kip), finds out about Hollander/Rozanov marriage in Fall 2019, marries Kip Grady (Summer 2020), looks over Luca's coming out statement for him, calls the New York Admirals owner to encourage him to nominate Astor Yates as MLH Commissioner, is keeping a spreadsheet of the queer army. Originator of many group nicknames. Attends 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021 MLH Awards Parties, 2020 All Stars Meet Up and the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins.
#2 - (Retires after 16/17 Season) - Thought Ilya was hitting on him when he clocked him, recruited at 2017 All Stars.
#3 - (Carolina in 16/17, traded to somewhere in the Western Conference in 17/18) ° ⁀ - Thought Ilya was threatening him when he clocked him, tried to call out the shitty culture in Carolina and got traded, having a conversation about the right way to eat a cupcake (2019 after-party) with #10 & #38, in the Western Conference Group Chat, presumably older than 25. Attends 2019 MLH Awards Party and 2021 Cup Win.
#4 - Kowalski ° ™ ⁀ - Thought Rozanov was hitting on him in the bathroom when he clocked him, reaches out to Ilya about “Tiny Dickman”, would flirt with a cereal box, flirting with Cooper Lee (hooked up with him at 2019 After Party), tells the 2020 Awards Party that he witnessed the Hollander/Rozanov engagement in the bathroom last year, sent around screenshots of Montreal Voyageurs Owner's Grindr (which means he was possibly one of the unnamed Army members who attended the 2020 Cup Box/Party?). Attends 2019 & 2020 MLH Awards Parties and 2021 Cup Win.
#5 - Baldwin (Vancouver, retires after 17/18 Season) * - Minor Canon Book Gay. Goalie, comes out for the 2018 Cup (and is forced into retirement). Rozanov thought his team was unlikely to ever be in the playoffs, older player whose contract negotiations stopped when he came out to his coach to invite him to his wedding, helps review the rigged games of the 2019 playoffs, attends Hunter/Grady wedding (with husband), confirmed 2018 Cup interference to Shane Hollander (#6). Originator of “SCHUMEM.” Attends 2018 MLH Awards Party/After party, stays behind and finds out about Hollander/Rozanov.
#6 - Shane Hollander (Drafted to Montreal Voyageurs, traded to Ottawa Centaurs for 21/22 season) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ ⌤ - Canon Book Gay. Captain, comes out for 2020 Cup. Outs his and Rozanov’s relationship to Hunter in Dec 2017, comes out to his team in Fall 2018 (outed to coach and Crowell with phone calls after 2019 cup), figures out the rigging of the 18/19 season (coaching, referees, faulty stick tape/equipment, crowd distractions), marries Rozanov summer 2019. Originator of “AGBHP/AOGBHP.” Attends 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021 MLH Awards Parties, 2020 All Stars Meet Up and the 2020 Cup Win (where he kisses Rozanov) & 2021 Cup Win, accidentally outs his relationship with Ilya to Baldwin (#5), Marcello (#7) & Young (#23) at 2018 After Party, kisses Rozanov at the 2020 Cup Win party and comes out about his marriage at the 2020 MLH Awards Party.
#7 - Vincenzo “Vinny” Marcello (New Jersey) * ° ^ ™ ⁀ ⌤ - Alternate Captain, potentially publicly outed by the leak (still has plausible deniability). Bisexual. Older, wants his “Scott Hunter” moment, comes out to Hunter after Ilya's ribbing, shady, makes fun of the “axis powers” jerks by coming out “as an asshole,” eavesdrops on Shane attempting to flirt with Chucky Rhodes at the 2019 All Stars game, out to his team (outed to coach and Crowell during phone calls after 2019 cup), congratulates Rozanov on marriage to Hollander, calls Hunter a moron, seems to clock Melnyk/Rivera (possibly helps get them back together?), attends Hunter/Grady wedding (with boyfriend!), noticed by Troy Barrett (#45) to not be at the usual 2020 MLH Awards After Party, is angling to be the new paramour of Wayne Colander (#24), seems to leave Wayne Colander (#24) for #50 as they’re caught making out on the dance floor of a gay bar in Brooklyn, has a plan to come out with #50. Originator of “RASHYCOCK” & “PENIS” and one of the originators of the “NJMLHLGBTQFOIR” monstrosity. Attends 2018, 2019, 2020 & 2021 MLH Awards Parties, 2020 All Stars Meet Up and 2021 Cup Win, stays behind and finds out about Hollander & Rozanov at 2018 After Party.
#8 - Ryan Price (Buffalo in 17/18, traded to Toronto Guardians in 2018, retires in 2019) - Canon Book Gay. Enforcer, comes out more publicly (sort of already out) in 2019 on Instagram as he retires. Takes Tiny Dickman out of the playoffs in 2018, attends the funeral service of Duncan Harvey and chats with Rozanov, helps review the rigged games of the 2019 playoffs, coach for Irina Foundation camps (therefore knows about Shane & Ilya), taking over the Retiree Army, attends Hunter/Grady wedding, was the muscle for Rozanov during his meeting with Yates (Montreal Voyageurs Owner/Chair of the Board), confirmed interference in 17/18 Cup to Shane Hollander (#6). Originates “EIGHT.”
#9 - (Retires after 16/17 Season) - Recruited in 2017
#10 - Bay (Very, very likely) ° “ ⁀ ⌤ - Came out for the 2021 MLH Awards (true of #10 and Bay), likely to be the non-binary player mentioned, and #10 was noted by Rozanov to be "mentioned in minor speculation" during the Crowell audio leaks, so is possibly Bay (the only other mentioned name not currently connected to a number). If #10 is Bay, Crowell noticed them leaving after 2020 MLH Awards, might mean they were at Queer After Party. #10 has definitely reported to Ilya that Dallas Kent is assaulting women, wants Crowell to pay more attention to the date rape allegations, having a conversation about the right way to eat a cupcake (2019 after-party) with #3 & #38, plots about Dallas Kent with the WAGs at the 2020 Cup, is in the Western Conference Group Chat. Attends 2019 & 2021 MLH Awards Party (and 2020 MLH Awards Party if they’re Bay) and the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov at the 2020 Cup Win).
#11 - Lundin (Los Angeles) * - Minor Canon Book Gay. Comes out on Instagram summer 2018 and moves back to Sweden. Willing to come out for the 2017 cup and getting pushback from the league, recommends Ilya reach out to the third line forward from Nashville (possibly #26), comes out to Scott Hunter at the 2017 Cup, thinks an all-gay team would be good, skeptical that Ilya isn't disclosing who's in the group to Hunter/Hollander, soft launches his sexuality by posting pictures of his boyfriend on Instagram in summer 2018, attends Hunter/Grady wedding, mentioned in Crowell tapes as having been close to Doblen (#26), confirms that he hooked up with Doblen (#26) in the out players groupchat. Originator of “FRIEND.” Attends 2018 MLH Awards Party/After party.
#12 - Eric Bennett (NY Admirals, retires after 19/20 Season) ^ - Canon Book Bisexual. Goalie, comes out on Instagram in retirement announcement (2020). One of Hunter’s best friends, (was) married to a woman, now divorced, starts dating Kyle Swift during 19/20 season, taking over the Retiree Army, is Best Man at Hunter/Grady wedding. Attends 2020 All Stars Meet Up.
#13 - Danylo (Danny) Melnyk (Drafted to Brooklyn for 17/18, traded to Montreal Voyageurs in 2017, traded to Washington for 20/21) ° “ ™ † ⁀ - Comes out before 2020 Playoffs. Defenseman, Rookie in 17/18. Ilya wants to set him up with #14 (Rivera), is “a corrupt little loose cannon with zero moral qualms” according to Rozanov and an “abrasive, cocky little shithead” according to Hollander, looks a bit like Rozanov, ~20 yr. old (2018), out to Hollander. Met (and started seeing) Mateo Rivera in an ice rink in Rivera's hometown when they were 17 (Summer 2016), has cut ties with his homophobic parents, has an old elbow injury, looks like “an uglier Rozanov,” thinks Rozanov is old, thinks Hollander is hot, relationship seems to have been clocked and possibly helped?) by Marcello, officially starts dating Rivera in Feb 2020, comes out via Instagram in April 2020, team tries to fire him. Originator of “SHART,” “TOPPING,” “FIRMASS” (with #14 (Rivera), “PROLAPSE,” “WHACKOFF,” “RAWDOG” (with #25 (Henderson)) & “JACKOFF.” Rozanov downplays the 2018 MLH Awards Party/After party to him so he doesn't come, but attends 2019 & 2020 MLH Awards Parties and the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov at the 2020 Cup Win).
#14 - Mateo Rivera (Washington) * ° ^ “ ™ † ⁀ - Comes out for 2019 Cup. Rookie in 17/18, first Puerto Rican player ever. Reminds Rozanov of a young Hollander and he wants to set him up with #13 (Melnyk), not comfortable playing dirty but okay with non-physical harm, wants to come out but can't (2018), seems to idolize Hollander, a hockey nerd, seemed turned on by the idea of Hollanov, has/had a crush on Rozanov, 21 yr. old (2019), is invited to Marshal the DC and the Puerto Rican Pride Parades, apparently has an ex boyfriend he's trying to make jealous, thinks everyone should come out, has been getting beaten up more since coming out. Met (and started seeing) Danny Melnyk in an ice rink in Rivera's hometown when they were 17 (Summer 2016), prefers to be called “Mateo” but only Melnyk ever does, is (was?) on Shane Hollander's macrobiotic diet, relationship seems to have been clocked and possibly helped?) by Marcello, officially starts dating Melnyk in Feb 2020, confirmed 17/18 and 18/19 Cup interference to Shane Hollander (#6). Originator of “GABPHU,” “RC” and “PHPGBQU.” Attends 2018, 2019 & 2020 MLH Awards Parties, 2020 All Stars Meet Up and the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov at the 2020 Cup Win).
#15 - (Anaheim) * ° ™ ⁀ - is a sassy bitch (tells Rozanov to tell Scott Hunter to lick his balls), likes Ilya being carrier pigeon to chirp at Scott Hunter for him, thinks Hollander/Rozanov would be hot, thinks Hollander’s gaydar is more of a wishlist, volunteers to come out at the 2020 MLH Awards because his grandpa died and that was the only thing keeping him in the closet, out to his family, apparently often asks Rozanov to tell Hunter things for him, in the Western Conference Group Chat, thinks Wayne Colander playing for the Toronto Blue Jays is hilarious. Originator of “CHODE.” Attends 2018, 2019 & 2020 MLH Awards Parties and 2021 Cup Win.
#16 - John Kakogiannis - (Houston) * ^ ™ ⁀ ⌤ - (Possibly? a) Center Forward. Seems to be clocking Hollander/Rozanov, thinks Rozanov should come out next, would apparently sleep with Hollander, hooked up with Adrian Dela Cruz for a week in 2019, thinks Ilya should come out (2020 Awards), has always been a bit of a dick to Rozanov, noticed by Troy Barrett (#45) to not be at the normal 2020 MLH Awards After Party. Originator of “OLDSHAFT.” Attends 2018, 2020 & 2021 MLH Awards Parties, 2020 All Stars Meet Up and 2021 Cup Win.
#17 - (Retired by 20/21, according to Scott Hunter) - finds it wild that the league is pissed about their action against Dallas Kent but not about racist fans
#18 * ⁀ - has reported to Rozanov that Dallas Kent is assaulting women, wishes he had a chance to hurt Kent during the Kent-Pocalypse, thinks playing nice in the Gay State of the Union speech is ridiculous, derides reserve players, is technically in Ilya's Straight Army, in the Western Conference Group Chat, matches with DaddyTrouble69/Astor Yates (Montreal Voyageurs Owner/Chair of the Board) on Grindr, only on Grindr for sexting (doesn't meet up with people), makes a new Grindr after they catch Yates. Attends 2018 MLH Awards Party/After party and 2021 Cup Win.
#19 - Ricky D’Amato (New Jersey) - Potentially publicly outed by the leak (still has plausible deniability). Gay, 21 yr. old (in 2018), out to his team (outed to coach & Crowell in phone calls after 2019 cup). One of the originators of the “NJMLHLGBTQFOIR” monstrosity.
#20 - ™ - Comes out for 2021 MLH Awards. Thought Ilya would come out at 2020 Awards. Attends 2020 MLH Awards Party.
#21 - (Retired by 20/21, according to Scott Hunter)
#22 - (Anaheim) ° - Comes out for 2021 MLH Awards. Names the assholes trying to prove they're not allies “the axis powers,” in the Western Conference Group Chat. Attends 2019 MLH Awards Party.
#23 - Jethro Young (Utah) * - Captain. Older, Mormon, clocked by Marlow, thinks dating a hockey player would be disgusting, shocked about the league rigging things, confirmed ready to come out if he wins the cup in 2019, denies having any gay players to his Coach when called after 2019 Cup (and directly defends/hides Beltran (#30). Attends 2018 MLH Party, stays behind after for outing of the Hollander/Rozanov relationship.
#24 - Wainwright “Wayne Colander” Strainer (Toronto Blue Jays) ⁀ - Retired, not in the league, and also dead. Bisexual, single. Because THERE IS NO #24. Loves loud noises, hates sex, is bad at hockey.
#25 - Ray Henderson (Buffalo) ™ ⁀ - Comes out on Instagram for 2020 MLH Awards. was “straight” until Ilya checked in and he discovered he's actually in love with his gay roommate, knows Melnyk & Rivera from Juniors and they think he talks about his roommate too much, wants to come out so boyfriend can propose (2020 Awards), democratically elected to come out for MLH Awards. Originator of “GROUP” & “RAWDOG” (with #13 (Melnyk). Attends 2020 MLH Awards Party and 2021 Cup Win.
#26 - Doblen (Nashville) ⌤ - Outed by the Crowell audio leak, does not make a statement acknowledging his outing in the tapes but it becomes a line in his Wikipedia page. In contact with/out to Scott Hunter, is ready to come out with a very conservative statement if he wins 2020 Cup (comes out to his team and coaches in preparation), thinks dating another player is the grossest thing he could possibly imagine, is the third-line forward who Lundin (#11) recommended Rozanov reach out to but was never explicitly mentioned joining the pact, was outed to Crowell and associates by team management before the 2020 Cup, is mentioned in the Crowell tapes about having been “close with” Lundin, denies ever having a history with Lundin (#11) even though Lundin confirms they hooked up in the out players group chat. Attends 2021 MLH Awards Party.
#27 - Silas Wagner- (Washington) ° ™ - Comes out at 2019 MLH Awards. Ready to come out for 2019 cup but agrees (and sounds relieved) to wait until a more tactical time, has a partner (Chris), has been getting beaten up more since coming out. Originator of “CIRCUS” and “DICK COMA.” Attends 2019 & 2020 MLH Awards Parties.
#28 - Lavelle (retires after 18/19) - soft launches a boyfriend on Instagram after retiring.
#29 - Alfred Fredericks (Carolina, traded to Ottawa Centaurs for 19/20) ⁀ - Defenseman, comes out on Instagram after Scott Hunter's 2018 Gay State of the Union. Bisexual. Hollander's proudest guess for his gaydar (in 2017) that Rozanov thinks is utterly incorrect, starts being targeted with illegal checks ignored by the refs in fall 2018 and is put on Long Term Injury Reserve (LTIR) after Comeau breaks his arm with an illegal check, helps review the rigged games of the 2019 playoffs, Rozanov pulls strings to get him traded to Ottawa after Carolina tries to force him to retire. Originator of "ROOKIES" with Luca Haas (#46). Attends 2021 Cup Win.
#30 - Beltran (Utah) ™ - Almost outed in the Crowell audio leak, "mentioned in minor speculation" but probably safe due to the homophobes' terrible gaydar. Reached out to Scott Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union, confirmed ready to come out for 2019 Cup, volunteers to come out because he thought no one else would, happy to stay in the closet, was hidden/defended by Jethro Young (#23) during the post-2020 Cup calls. Attends 2020 MLH Awards Party.
#31 - Richards (Colorado, traded to Anaheim for 19/20) ° - reached out to Scott Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union, at 2019 All Star weekend and hanging out with the rest of the Queer Militia. Attends 2019 MLH Awards Party.
#32 - (Toronto) ™ - reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union, thinks Wagner & Fredericks should choose the next DICK COMA winner, tells Ilya that Kent has outed Haas (#46) to Crowell. Attends 2020 MLH Awards Party.
#33 - reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union
#34 - reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union
#35 - ™ - reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union, doesn't know about the cheating/moral questionability of the group. Attends 2020 MLH Awards Party.
#36 - Comes out for 2021 MLH Awards. reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union, in the Western Conference Group Chat, does not know about Hollander/Rozanov, presumably younger than 25.
#37 - (Tampa Bay) ™ - reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union, calls Rozanov to let him know their rookie came out and got booted from the team. Attends 2020 MLH Awards Party.
#38 - (Columbus) ° - reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union, having a conversation about the right way to eat a cupcake (2019 after-party) with #3 & #10. Attends 2019 MLH Awards Party.
#39 - reached out to Hunter to join after 2018 Gay State of the Union
#40 - Might be Jim Rice (see below) - Comes out during 2021 MLH Awards. Implied to be a rookie in 18/19, in the Western Conference Group Chat, presumably younger than 25, might be interested in hooking up with Yates.
#41 - Madrigal - A rookie in 18/19, Mexican, very closeted, backup for his team, voted onto the queer-friendly Players’ Union in 2020, considered not a threat to the homophobia of the league by Crowell, relatively unknown in the league, has never posted in support of the cause
#42 - joins sometime between 18/19 and the 2020 Cup. Could possibly be Chucky Rhodes according to some things that might have been implied in the comments.
#43 - joins sometime between 18/19 and the 2020 Cup
#44 - joins sometime between 18/19 and the 2020 Cup
#45 - Troy Barrett (Toronto Guardians, traded to Ottawa Centaurs for 20/21) † ⁀ - Canon Book Gay. Comes out on Instagram during the 20/21 Season (after RogueMLH posts audio). Was originally not in the bet, Rozanov saw him checking out Hollander, clocked that the Gay Army seems to be targeting Dallas Kent, reaches out to Rozanov in Spring 2019 because he starts dating a closeted Adrian Delay Cruz (Hollywood actor), has clocked Hollander/Rozanov, gives them intel on the distractions from the audience during the 18/19 season and meets Harris, apparently texts with Harris for the next year, helps the WAG Army get in contact with Dallas Kent’s ex-girlfriend, thinks Dallas Kent is a monster, gets added to the group officially after he agrees to run for the Players’ Union for them, apparently requests to be traded to Ottawa, called Harris after finding out Adrian Dela Cruz was cheating, Players’ Union President (20/21), seems to have finally locked down Harris as a WAG (Dec 2020), looks over Luca's coming out statement for him. Originator of “WANG” & “PRICE.” Attends 2021 Cup Win.
#46 - Luca Haas (Ottawa Centaurs) ⁀ - Canon Book Queer. Comes out on social media after the Crowell leak (during the season). “Nerdy Swiss Kid” scoped out by Ilya at the 2019 Draft, says all the rookies have scheduled phone calls with Crowell, is u/LiveBreatheHockey from r/MLHCorruption (one of the Reddit users that Rozanov deems “the least dog shit crazy” out of r/MLHcorruption, confronts people about guessing who's gay in the league, mentions that Rozanov is Russian on the list of people posting gay-adjacent selfies, posts trying to figure out who RogueMLH is, posts the test post to figure out if outlandish claims pop up every time someone posts a substantiated claim (they do), says they basically staged a coup to take over the subreddit, thinks u/RogueMLH is a legend, offers to do the initial approach and assessment of rookies in the 20/21 season for Rozanov, approaches a rookie on Toronto who talks about it to the Toronto locker room/Kent, is outed by Kent to Crowell, is almost sent down by Crowell but is saved by the beautiful queer-friendly Ottawa Centaurs infrastructure, implicated in the audio of Crowell threatening the Ottawa Centaurs that @RogueMLH posts, heavily heavily implied to be queer in the leaked Crowell audio, as u/LiveBreathHockey posts Luca Haas' coming out statement on r/MLHCorruption and that it's cool to be outed by the commissioner and/or picked because he might be queer. Originator of "ROOKIES" with Fredericks (#29). Attends 2021 Cup Win.
#47 - Lowery (Tampa Bay) - Homosexual, aromantic, genderqueer (he/him pronouns). First round draft pick rookie who came out to Crowell got booted from the team, agrees to let @RogueMLH come out for him and post about it, does a series of interviews after being booted, says nice things about Rozanov, told Crowell he would take the bet, had already told Tampa about his identities when they signed him, has life threatened by Crowell.
#48 - Osmo “Ossi” Junnila (Vancouver) † ⁀(?) - Rookie (20/21 season), Finnish, initially assessed by Luca Haas (#46), looks over Luca's coming out statement for him (and Luca uses his first name, implying they might be close). Possibly/likely attends 2021 Cup Win (as someone disappears with Luca Haas (#46)).
#49 - One of Luca’s new rookies (20/21 season)
#50 - One of Luca’s new rookies (20/21 season), is photographed making out with Vinny Marcello (#7) on the dance floor at a gay bar in Brooklyn, is historically not the most cautious of people about this, has a plan to come out with Marcello (#7)
Starting a symbol list for the various meetups so it's easier to see who knows about who. Each symbol means all these people know about each other because they were in attendance
* - attended 2018 MLH Awards Party/After party
° - attended 2019 MLH DICK COMA After Party
^ - attended 2020 All Stars Meet Up
” - attended 2020 Cup Win/After Party at Shane's house
™ - attended 2020 MLH Awards/DICK COMA After Party
† - attended 2021 All Stars Weekend(and likely the Meet Up
⁀ - attended 2021 Cup Win/After Party at Ilya’s house
⌤ - attended 2021 MLH Awards/DICK COMA After Party
Also mentioned/relevant:
Marcel Houde - mentioned by RogueMLH and by Kavita Kingsley in article, implied that Houde is not gay or, at least, not out to anyone
Liam Casey - player who injured Marcel Houde
Chucky Rhodes (Brooklyn Scouts) - Possibly #42 according to some things implied in the comments, but very uncertain. Goalie. One of Hollander’s initial guesses to Rozanov, Hollander attempts to flirt with him at the 2019 All Stars game to prove his point (he is clearly interested), Hunter thinks is straight
Jeffries - listed by Hollander as one of the safe people he's looking for when approached by Crowell at 2019 MLH Awards, so likely to be an unknown number of the army (possibly 3, 10, 15, 22, 38, or one of the “guys from the western conference” in attendance)
Guy Bonavi (Tampa Bay) - probably not gay, talks about cunnilingus more than hockey
Jim Rice - Possibly in the army (one of the players Ilya was testing Shane’s gaydar with), through a lot of assessing it seems like he is on Chicago and might be #40
- Helthon ™ ⌤ - No official number (but is either #20, #22 or #36 by process of elimination), came out for the 2021 MLH Awards. Noticed by Troy Barrett to not be at the normal 2020 MLH Awards After Party (and was therefore attending the MLH Queer After Party). Attends 2020 and 2021 MLH Awards Parties.
- Garza ™ ⌤ - No official number (but is either #20, #22 or #36 by process of elimination), came out for the 2021 MLH Awards.
- Rayan ™ ⌤ - No official number (but is either #20, #22 or #36 by process of elimination), came out for the 2021 MLH Awards.
Holmberg (Ottawa Centaurs) - tied in FanDuel’s 2021 Best Bet to Come Out (at the Cup) with Rozanov
New Players Union:
There are 4 players (in addition to Troy Barrett (#45)) who are so closeted they aren't out to anyone else, and who would like to be excused from the bet if they can be, and get voted onto the Players’ Union. The people who have never been to a meet up (and therefore aren't at all out to the group) are: #17, #21, #24, #33 (but is out to Hunter, so probably not), #34 (but is out to Hunter, so probably not), #39 (but is out to Hunter, so probably not), #41, #42, #43, #44. These players are:
Pena - Voted onto the Union Summer 2020, considered not a threat to the homophobia of the league by Crowell, has never posted in support of the cause
Kirby - Voted onto the Union Summer 2020, considered not a threat to the homophobia of the league by Crowell, considered a "good kid" by Crowell, has never posted in support of the cause
Madrigal - see #41
Schwartz - ("one of the Schwartzes", apparently there's more than one), likely somewhere between #41-#44) Voted onto the Union Summer 2020, considered not a threat to the homophobia of the league by Crowell, has only played in the MLH for two years (as of 2020), has never posted in support of the cause
Unknown Players in attendance at 2020 MLH Awards have -
- a sex tape about to be leaked
- a desire to go on dating apps
- already come out to their coaches
- an ultimatum from their Partner
Unnamed Player (Boston Raiders) - a rookie who joins the pact in the 19/20 season (likely #42, #43 or #44 due to timing)
- It’s implied that Luca successfully susses out more rookies who also join, but we don't know how many (to be able to assign numbers)
- Rozanov offers MICROPEEN to 30 guys, 5 take him up on it.
-15 out players by 21/22 season, with multiple rookies joining that year.
Teams Included/Additional Notes:
- Nashville (Has a third-line forward who Ilya is keeping an eye on as of 17/18 season but has not been mentioned as joining the pact, is likely #26)
- Toronto Guardians (Has an additional unnamed player, was a backup for Ryan Price (#8) before came out and retired)
- Montreal Voyageurs (The only team with an out player (Shane Hollander, #6) who are not attempting to defend them from targeted hits)
- 3 teams without queer players by Jan 2020 (previous teams without players include San Jose (has some allies), Los Angeles (after Lundin comes out and leaves), still true as of Jan 2021) with rookies and transfers orchestrated by Rozanov). Carolina is definitely one of the teams without a queer player (as of Jan. 2021)
- Official teams with no one to come out as of Jan 2021: Brooklyn, LA, Carolina, New York, Montreal
- There is one non-binary player as of Dec 2017, and a retired trans player (might be someone named “Reginald”, according to a conspiracy theory from r/MLHcorruption, but we don't ever trust them)
- Around 34 active players out of 41 in Jan 2019, meaning 7 have retired or transferred out of MLH and we only know about 3 retirees (#2, Baldwin (#5) & #9) and Lundin (#11) transferring
Ally Army (nearly 200 players total by January 2019):
Hayden Pike (Montreal Voyageurs) - In the Council of (Mostly) Straight Elders leads the Pacific division. Rozanov thinks he's not fully straight (confirmed by Jackie Pike in 2018), supportive online, recommends Hollander for the Ally Chat, rigs 2018 cup with Rozanov with help from Litterick, finds out about Hollander/Rozanov in Fall 2018, denies that straight guys thinking about fucking Shane (which Hayes confirms means he has), accidentally uploads the Crowell audio to FanMail instead of his video. Coach for Irina Foundation camps, attends the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov at the 2020 Cup Win).
Cliff Marlow (Boston Bears) -In the Council of (Mostly) Straight Elders, leads the Metropolitan division. Confirmed to know about Hollander/Rozanov in Fall 2018, admits to straight guys thinking about fucking Hollander, leads the charge of the Ally Army to report back on the damage to Rozanov's reputation/ability to stay in the closet after the Crowell audio leak. Attends the 2020 Cup Win (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov).
Carter Vaughn/Vaughan (New York Admirals) - In the Council of (Mostly) Straight Elders, leads the Atlantic division. Confirmed Rozanov's safety with Hunter, confirmed to know about Hollander/Rozanov in Fall 2018, admits to straight guys thinking about fucking Hollander, Groomsman at Hunter/Grady wedding. Attends the 2020 Cup Win (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov).
Pierce (Columbus) - Confirms that there were weird coaching choices in 18/19 season (specifically in their game against Utah)
Becker (Chicago) -
Wyatt Hayes (Toronto Guardians, traded to Ottawa Centaurs by end of 2018) - In the Council of (Mostly) Straight Elders, leads the Central division. Goalie. Hates Kent, thinks the gay group chat is superhero shit, removed Woodrick from chat, apparently by far the most perceptive person in the group chat, confirmed to know about Hollander/Rozanov in Fall 2018, hears a girl crying at one of Dallas Kent's parties and calls the cops which gets him traded, admits to straight guys thinking about fucking Hollander, has clearly clocked Troy Barrett/Harris Drover. Coach for Irina Foundation camps, attends the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov at the 2020 Cup Win). Originator of an Ally ranking and points system called “ASS” (Ally Scoring System).
Sullivan (Phoenix) - goes by “Sully”
Mike Brophy (New Jersey) - Enforcer or Defenseman. Has apparently shown interest in Hollander (so Hollander thinks he might be queer), one of the originators of “NJMLHLGBTQFOIR”
Litterick (Carolina) - Wing. Fed Hayden Pike insider knowledge and visibly passed pucks to blocked players in the 2018 final
JJ Boiziau (Montreal Voyageurs) - Defenseman. Single-handedly attempting to protect Hollander from targeted hits. Coach for Irina Foundation camps and attends the 2020 Cup Win (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov).
Zane Boodram (Ottawa Centaurs) - Alternate Captain. Doing better Ally Army points than Marlow, apparently a fan of Fredericks (wearing a #29 Irina Foundation jersey), finds out about Hollander/Rozanov when they come to a Centaurs barbecue together (Dec. 2020). Attends 2021 Cup Win.
Unknown Player (Washington) - not comfortable with playing dirty
Unknown Player (Anaheim) - Alternate Captain. Got the call from the coach asking if anyone is gay on their team
Unknown Player (Montreal Voyageurs) - one of the few people who still talks to Shane Hollander (#6) after he comes out (20/21)
Unknown Players (Ottawa Centaurs) - Most of the team is in the army (20/21)
Unknown Players (San Jose) - give Ilya some feedback on the rigged 2019 cup games
Matti Jalo (New York Admirals) - Not 100% confirmed to be in the army, but at Hunter/Grady wedding (therefore knows about Shane & Ilya).
Greg Huff (New York Admirals) - Not 100% confirmed to be in the army, but at Hunter/Grady wedding (therefore knows about Shane & Ilya).
Queer Players (Confirmed to be in the Chat because people think they're Allies): Shane Hollander (likely previously, as he's now out), #18
Staff Army:
Yuna Hollander - Joins up as the “Mob Mom” in Jan 2019 under the guise of running the IRINA Foundation, runs the Staff Army. Attends the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins.
Harris Drover (Ottawa Centaurs) - Social Media Manager ( “the bitch running social media”), runs RogueMLH, collects potential army members’ information and passes it on, introduces the group to r/MLHCorruption, has apparently been texting with Troy Barrett since he helped them (~1 year), posts the accounts of Kent's victims on @RogueMLH, documents every time there are particularly hard hits on the out players (Hollander, Rivera, Fredericks, Melnyk, Wagner or Henderson), seems to have officially become a WAG (to Troy Barrett) as of Dec. 2020 (see entry in WAG Army). Attends the 2020 & 2021 Cup Wins (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov at the 2020 Cup Win).
Bianca (Senior Management) - Crowell’s executive assistant, married to Priyanka ( “Mayhem Mitra,” retired UFC fighter). Records Crowell's homophobic tirade against Scott Hunter after 2019 Cup, his attack on Hollander at 2019 MLH Awards and him attempting to rig the refs for the 2020 Playoffs and apparently much more (has been recording additional incriminating evidence against Crowell), was fired by Crowell after the audio leak. Attends 2021 Cup Win.
James (Winnipeg) - tells Bianca about the Staff Army
Suna Dunham (Possibly Yuna Hollander under a pseudonym?) - is Bianca’s direct contact in the Staff Army, possibly in attendance at 2019 MLH Awards
Brandon Wiebe (Ottawa Centaurs) - Coach. Not officially confirmed to be part of Staff Army, but comes out to Rozanov and Ottawa GM at meeting, fights for Troy Barrett to come to the team so they can change him (and also occasionally win), confirms that the Ottawa Centaurs have contingency plans to protect their queer players, implies in a press conference that others on/involved with the team are queer, implicated in the audio of Crowell threatening the Ottawa Centaurs that @RogueMLH posts. Likely attends 2021 Cup Win.
Unknown PT (Ottawa Centaurs) - A bisexual PT who is part of the Staff Army (that Crowell knows about and mentions in his tirade against the Centaurs that @RogueMLH posts). Possibly attends 2021 Cup Win.
WAG Army:
Kip Grady (New York Admirals, husband of Scott Hunter (#1)) - Canon Book Gay. Brings idea of WAG Army to Rozanov, works with Gloria and Kyle to get the WAG Army to help Kent's victims, marries Scott Hunter (summer 2020). Attends the 2020 Cup Win (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov).
Kyle Swift (New York Admirals, Partner of Eric Bennett (#12)) - Canon Book Gay. Wants to casually lead a WAG Army without being a WAG (and then becomes a WAG when he starts dating Bennett), works with Gloria and Kyle to get the WAG Army to help Kent's victims, attends Hunter/Grady wedding.
Gloria (New York Admirals, partner of Carter Vaughn (Ally Army)) - seems to be in WAG Army, works with Gloria and Kyle to get the WAG Army to help Kent's victims, attends Hutner/Grady wedding. Attends the 2020 Cup Win (and therefore sees Hollander kiss Rozanov).
Fabian Salah (Toronto, partner of Ryan Price (#8)) - not confirmed to be in WAG Army (hates hockey), but in support of Retiree Army, attends Hunter/Grady wedding.
Cassie Boodram (Ottawa Centaurs, partner of Zane Boodram) - implied to be in the WAG Army due to successfully icing out all the homophobic Ottawa Centaurs WAGs, finds out about Hollander/Rozanov at Boodram’s Barbecue. Attends 2021 Cup Win.
Lisa Hayes (Ottawa Centaurs, partner of Wyatt Hayes) - implied to be in the WAG Army due to successfully icing out all the homophobic Ottawa Centaurs WAGs, officially finds out about Hollander/Rozanov at Boodram’s Barbecue. Attends 2021 Cup Win.
Harris Drover (Ottawa Centaurs, partner of Troy Barrett) - Seems to be officially an Ottawa Centaurs WAG as he’s at the WAG hangout table in December 2020 (apparently only officially a WAG that night). Attends 2021 Cup win as Troy’s WAG/HAB/SAP. See his entry in the Staff Army for involvement.
Retiree Army:
Eric Bennett (#12, Ex-New York Admirals) - Runs army
Ryan Price (#8, Ex-Buffalo, Toronto and others) - Runs army
Presumed to be in Army (Retired): #2, Baldwin (#5), #9, #17, #21, Lavelle (#28)
Unsafe Players/Other People:
Reinhold “Riney” Glickman or “Tiny Dickman” - Carolina's Bigoted Captain and Star Forward, Army's first target in 17/18 season, taken out by Ryan Price (#8) in the 2018 playoffs
Dallas Kent (Kicked off Toronto Guardians (Dec. 2020)) - physically and verbally abusive, accused of assaulting women by #10 & #18, target of Kent-pocalypse (17/18), has had charges brought against him by the women he’s assaulted (with help from the WAG Army, Harris Drover & Troy Barret (#45)), agreed to report back to Crowell, has been kicked off the Toronto Guardians, is accusing Troy Barrett (#45) of being in the Queer group, tells Crowell about Troy Barrett’s sexuality, arrested early 2021.
Woodrick (Houston) - removed from Ally Chat by Wyatt Hayes for immediately being homophobic
Comeau (Montreal Voyageurs) - one of the homophobic players who targets Fredericks after he comes out, breaks his arm with an illegal check in Fall 2018
Lorenzo (Traded away from Ottawa Centaurs) - Defense. Racist and objectifies women
Miller (Traded away from Ottawa Centaurs) - Defense. Racist and objectifies women
Wringham (Traded away from Ottawa Centaurs) - Defense. Racist and objectifies women
Nelson - one of the known assholes targeted with distractions during the 18/19 season
Burke - one of the known assholes targeted with distractions during the 18/19 season
Unknown Players Doing Homophobic Shit™: Targeting Fredericks (1 Brooklyn Scout, 1 Minnesota Nomad, 1 on Detroit, 1 in Columbus, 2 others on Montreal Voyageurs)
Hal (Ref, New York) - Friend of Scott Hunter, told him to keep his head down when he asked about uncalled illegal checks
Hank - Working with Crowell on the ref rigging
Rookie on Toronto (20/21 Season) - approached by Luca and talks about it in the Toronto locker room/in front of Kent & #32
MLH Deputy Comissioner - apparently was doing all the dirty work for Crowell behind the scenes, is on the other end of most of the calls (possibly is "Hank"?)
Acronyms! and Nicknames
For Cup Winners
RASHYCOCK - Rozanov And Scott Hunter's Yearly Coming Out Club King (originated by #7 (Vinny Marcello))
RC - RASHYCOCK (originated by #14 (Mateo Rivera) in his coming out post)
SCHUMEM Cup Award - SCott HUnter MEMorial Cup Award (originated by #5 (Baldwin) in his coming out post)
SHunMYCOCK - Scott Hunter Memorial Yearly Cupping Out Club King
S.H.E.I.L.D. - Scott Hunter Award for Excellence in Loving Dick
MVP - Most Vagina-less Peen? Men's Venereal Player? Massive Veiny Penis?
IAOTY - Ilya’s Avenger of the Year
CHODE - Champion of Hunter's Order of Dick Enthusiasts (originated by #15)
SHART - Scott Hunter Annual Remembrance Trophy (originated by #13 (Danny Melnyk) in his coming out post)
SHANE - Scott Hunter’s Award for the Newly Emancipated (originated by Ilya Rozanov in his coming out post)
For Coming Out during MLH Awards
DICKCOMA - Daddy Ilya’s Celebrated King of Coming Out at MLH Awards (originated by #27 (Silas Wagner))
RAWDOG - Rozanov’s Award-Winning Democratically Outed Guy (originated by #25 (Henderson) & #13 (Danny Melnyk))
MICROPEEN - Many Individuals Coming Right Out, Provided Emergency Escape with the News (originated by Ilya Rozanov)
For Coming Out during the Season
PENIS - The Price award for Excellence in Noncompliance, Ill-Timing, or Scandal (originated by #7 (Vinny Marcello))
CUMSLUT - Completely Unplanned Midseason Sexuality Launch and Unveiling Trophy
PRICE - Price award for Respectability In Coming out Early (originated by #45 (Troy Barrett) in his coming out post)
For Coming Out before the Playoffs
TOPPING - Trophy Of Pre-Playoffs Inception of Noted Gayness (originated by #13 (Danny Melnyk) in his coming out post)
ROOKIES - Rozanov’s Order Of Kids In Elite Sexualities (originated by Fredericks (#29) and Luca Haas (#46) in his coming out post)
For the Collective Group of Out Players
GROUP - Gang of Rozanov’s Out and Unified Players (originated by #25 (Ray Henderson) in his coming out post)
JACKOFF - Just Actual Current Kings Of Faceoff Fellatio (originated by #13 (Danny Melnyk))
Other
NJMLHLGBTQFOIR - New Jersey Major League Hockey LGBTQ Friends of Ilya Rozanov (Originated by #7, #19 & Brophy (Ally Army))
IRINA - Ilya Rozanov's Intentional Nothing-to-see-here Alibi
EIGHT - Eighth of Ilya’s Gay Hockey Tyrants (from Ryan Price’s coming out post)
SHIT - Shane Hollander Index Total (originated by Ilya Rozanov)
FIRMASS - Formal Ilya Rozanov Memorial Award for Secret Sucking (for people still in the closet, originated by #13 (Danny Melnyk) & #14 (Mateo Rivera)
PROLAPSE - President Rozanov’s Official Lovers’ Award for Players Sexually Engaged (originated by #13 (Danny Melnyk) in his coming out post)
BORING - Boyfriend Of Rozanov, Internationally Notorious Gay-wrangler (originated by #6 (Shane Hollander) in his coming out post)
BOJWOLB (BLOWJOB backwards) - Buy Our Jerseys Without Outrageous League Bigotry! (originated by #6 (Shane Hollander) in his coming out post)
WHACKOFF - Wholesome Half-Asian Captain Kissing Our Fearless Founder (originated by #13 (Danny Melnyk) when he outs the Hollander/Rozanov relationship to the RASHYCOCK group chat)
PlOWRS - Players Of the Western Rozanov Sector (Name of the Western Conference Group Chat)
ASS - Ally Scoring System (originated by Wyatt Hayes (Ally Army))
WANG - Wives and Not Girlfriends (originated by #45 (Troy Barrett) as a WAG group that would include Harris Drover)
ASSHOLE - Authentic Spouse of Shane Hollander, Our Leader’s Escort (originated by Ilya Rozanov in his coming out post)
Group Names
Originated by Scott Hunter (#1): Ilya’s Angels, Ilya's Army, Rozanov’s Regiment, Rozanov’s Queer Death Squad, Gay Hockey Militia
Originated by Shane Hollander (#6): AGBHP/AOGBHP (Alliance of Gay and Bisexual Hockey Players)
Originated by Lundin (#11): FRIEND (Fellowship of Rozanov’s International Elite Nancies and Dandies)
Originated by Danny Melnyk (#13): SMEGMA (Scott’s Members-Exclusive Gay Men Alliance)
Originated by Mateo Rivera (#14): GABPHU (Gay and Bisexual Professional Hockey Union)
Originated by #16: OLDSHAFT (Ones Like Daddy Scott Hunter And Friends Tribe)
Originated by Silas Wagner (#27): CIRCUS (Commissioner Ilya Rozanov's Communal Underground Syndicate)
Unknown Originator(s): Gay Avengers, Ilya's Apostles, Ilya's Infantry, Gay Cabal, Queer Council, Scunties (Scott’s Hunties), PHOODS (Professional Hockey's Order Of Dick Suckers), Friends of Rozanov, Ilya’s Avengers, Queer Cartel, FOR (Friends of Rozanov), PHUCK (Professional Hockey Union of Cock Kings)
Ally Army Group Names (with a hilarious amount of overlap with the Gay Army group): Rozanov’s guys, Ilya’s avengers, Ilya’s army, the Queer Corps
Additional Notes:
Carolina - (in 17/18) has insanely racist players and fans, a goalie with a half dozen DUIs, a benchwarmer who was charged with Animal Cruelty and management who's doing nothing about any of this
Kavita Kingsley - senior MLH reporter at a high-profile sports magazine (apparently called “Reputable Sports Magazine”), Scott Hunter's favorite journalist, recommends RogueMLH and the group get a lawyer, agrees to hold off publishing an article about the corruption around the 2018 cup so that Ilya can prove the 2019 cup was already rigged, has clocked Shane & Ilya’s relationship, is granted first interview with Hollander post-coming out, releases an article on the rigging of the 18/19 season, does Ilya Rozanov’s coming out interview (over email), holds joint interview with Ilya and Shane after they come out as a married couple.
Cooper Lee - Lawyer for the Queer Army, hooked up with Kowalski (#4) at MLH Awards Gay After Party (2019). Attends 2021 Cup Win (where he is clearly hooking up with Kowalski again).
u/LiveBreatheHockey - Luca Haas (#46). one of the Reddit users that Rozanov deems “the least dog shit crazy” out of r/MLHcorruption, confronts people about guessing who's gay in the league, mentions that Rozanov is Russian on the list of people posting gay-adjacent selfies, posts trying to figure out who RogueMLH is, posts the test post to figure out if outlandish claims pop up every time someone posts a substantiated claim (they do), says they basically staged a coup to take over the subreddit, thinks u/RogueMLH is a legend, posts Luca Haas' coming out statement, that it's cool to be outed by the commissioner and/or picked because he might be queer, repping constantly for Ottawa.
u/Gr4mofs1lv3r - one of the Reddit users that Rozanov deems “the least dog shit crazy” out of r/MLHcorruption, thinks it's weird that all the posts about someone being gay get downvoted, points out that there's a LOT of Rozanov in the Crowell audio leak, notices that Bianca's LinkedIn has her unemployed after the leak, wonders if Rozanov was just super late to the bet and that's why he was embarrassed, scared for the teams up against Ottawa in 21/22 season.
u/sir1589shelf - Mod of r/MLHcorruption, one of the Reddit users that Rozanov deems “the least dog shit crazy”, posts about no one picking up Baldwin's contract, asks to stop calling it “That Gay Shit,” has apparently been on the subreddit for 12 years (and they've never been verifiably right before), always skeptical if r/RogueMLH is really @RogueMLH, unearths Crowell's terrible country music career, almost misses the Crowell plants in r/MLHCorruption because they were funny, thinks Rozanov and Hollander are assholes for keeping their husbands a secret, posts about Hollander/Rozanov marriage.
Astor Yates or "Mastur Bates" (Montreal Voyageurs Owner) - Chairman of the MLH Board of Governors. Found on Grindr by the queer box during the 2020 Cup win, is married to a woman, agrees to look into unseating Commissioner Crowell, Rozanov might help arrange meet ups with agreeable members of the pact, blackmail favor called in to get Dallas Kent out of the league and the queer rookies to be able to stay, knows Ilya Rozanov is the Ringleader, confirms that the info from the leak will likely be enough to force out Crowell, seems to be implying something more specific about their understanding/agreement with each other, is nominated by the New York Admirals owner after encouragement by Scott Hunter, sells the Montreal team so he can step into the role of Commissioner
The world is oftentimes such an ugly place, but sometimes it can be so beautiful.
Like, when two choirs, one from Croatia and the other from Zimbabwe, met on the opposite sides of a Lisbon subway station and both sang to each other.
I unfortunately do not know what the Zimbabwe children choir sang to them (although it was so beautiful), but the Croatian klapa Kastav sang 'Kuća puna naroda' (a house full of people).
And let my reward be a house full of people,
my life, give me a voice, so I can embrace you with songs.
And if I said this is what happens when someone asks Ilya about the partying he did in Boston and everyone (including Shane) gets increasingly confused and concerned?
Lily is Wiebe and Jordan is Shane. Idk abt the rest of them.
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I think so often about how Ilya gets to the meat of people quickly. It’s hyper awareness. It’s a trauma response.
But also I think he should combine it with Shane’s need to know things. Because Ilya just gets A Vibe and isn’t always sure why.
“Our rookie seems to be very interested in picking mushrooms out of food.” Dropped in the muddle of a day off when Shane has a shoot scheduled.
“His sister’s allergic.” First thing Shane says when he returns from his shoot. “Probably runs in the family, or just super cautious” said to Shane as he climbs into Ilya’s lap and slots himself into Ilya’s arms.
Ilya really adores the pike kids but I think he adores and is a bit more protective of little Arthur just a tiny bit more.
Arthur who doesn't like loud noises, is moving with his tiny palms covering his ears as the TV blasts either a game or some Disney movie ruby has picked
Arthur who prefers staying indoors and playing with his Legos while his sisters chase after Anya in the backyard
Arthur who really doesnt like it when the food on his plate touch each other
Arthur who has a blinky thats almost chewed up but throws a fit if jackie tries to wean him off it.
Arthur who likes the buzz lightyear puzzle that shane and ilya gift him so much that he wants to do it every night
Arthur who loves his crocodile stuffy? Toy? , Chompy and cries everytime jackie puts it in the washing machine
Arthur who is sensitive to light but is also sacred of the dark cause his sisters have told him that monsters come out during bedtime
Ilya is the only other person apart from Jackie who is capable of bringing him from a meltdown
Ilya who brings him toys and puzzles which don't trigger his sensory issues
Ilya who loudly announces during the BBQs the pikes are throwing that all the adults are boring him and that he's gonna go and hang out with Arthur and build Legos spaceship with him. The relief on Arthur's face is visible from space.
Ilya who carries Arthur with such ease that people who don't know him believe that he might be the father of atleast 3 more babies
Ilya who can put little Arthur to sleep by rocking him back and forth with his beefy arms wrapped so delicately around the tiny little bundle of joy
Ilya who coos and softly sings russian rhymes to Arthur while he's in the bassinet
Ilya who crosses the threshold of the pike residence only to be tackled in the leg by Arthur who looks up at him with his big hazel eyes and 4 tiny baby teeth poking out of his gums and ilya swears he doesnt tear up when shane points it out
Ilya who is sure that his heart skips a beat the first time Arthur exclaims 'eh-yah!' While stretching his arms out with a big big smile on his face, waiting to be scooped up by ilya
Ilya who is the person Shane and Arthur sort of drape themselves on when things get too much and they need a breather
I could go on and on....I just love little Arthur and his uncle ilya ya know?
Since someone made a post about how the Darkling is kinda like Lenin but not really because the only thing they have in common is wanting to overthrow the oppressive absolute monarchy but their reasons and execution were different - I propose an idea: Ulla has the potential to be Lenin in Grishaverse.
Lenin had an older brother named Aleksander, who was killed because he tried to kill the Tsar. What Lenin did afterwards can certainly be counted as one hell of a revenge. So, Ulla finds out that the only decent member of her family, her brother Aleksander, the only one who she shared immortality with, was killed by a bunch of deserters who destroyed his goal of liberating Grisha he spent centuries building towards, and she decides she has finally had enough of allowing humanity to be like this.
Cut to Ulla threatening to drown Ravka and Fjerda, joined by the rebellion of Grisha and otkazatsya who finally realized their saint Queen is an explosive bitch who doesn't have a diplomatic bone in her body and her solution to everything is threatening bodily harm or murder. And that their precious King consort is an idiot who is willing to let people starve and squander the recourses just to shift into cotton economy Ravka cannot assimilate to. Horrible realization that they fell for propaganda and the Darkling's plan was actually better had they not ruined it.
We know Ulla is insanely powerful from being a Sildroher and a Grisha, and I doubt Zoya's measly tidemaker skills can calm down a raid of tsunamis. Her dragon form can't help with anything either if Ulla decides to split Ravka in half again like she did with those northern Fjerdan islands.
Sometimes I think people forget that Ravka is not surrounded by harmless rivals. Its borders face regimes that have turned cruelty into policy, states where suffering is not an accident but a resource. The most disturbing part is how often this is ignored while the one man who understood the danger in full and acted to stop it, Aleksander, is portrayed as the greatest threat of all.
Shu Han is not just another enemy nation. In my eyes it is the living embodiment of Unit 731, and this unit was a division of the Imperial Japanese Army during the Second World War, fully funded and authorised by the state. It was not a rogue element. It was a military research program that turned human experimentation into an industry. The victims were civilians taken from occupied territories, often Chinese, Korean, Russian, and many others. They included women, children, the elderly, and even pregnant women. They were deliberately infected with diseases such as plague, anthrax, cholera, typhoid, and syphilis. The purpose was to watch the process of death in real time. Vivisections were performed on living people without anaesthetic. Lungs were removed while the victim was still conscious. Organs were taken for study while the body was still alive. Prisoners had their limbs frozen solid in extreme cold until they were as hard as wood, then beaten or thawed in different ways to examine the damage. Others were placed in pressure chambers until their eyes ruptured. Some were burned alive with flamethrowers. Many were exposed to chemical agents to measure how long it would take them to die. All of it was carefully recorded, catalogued, and defended as science in service of military power.
This is the same mindset I see in Shu Han. In the Grishaverse, Grisha are not recognised as people. They are dissected, studied, reduced to components that can be used or destroyed. Their lives are seen only in terms of what advantage they can give to Shu. There is no morality in this approach, only the cold logic of power at any cost. You cannot negotiate with such a regime because its leaders do not see their victims as human beings at all. In our own history, after the war, the data from Unit 731 was traded for immunity by certain governments who valued the research more than justice. Imagine what that means for a country like Ravka, which has no allies strong enough to hold Shu accountable. Aleksander saw exactly what that meant.
Fjerda presents a different face of the same darkness. The comparison to Nazi Germany is not exaggeration but precision. Nazi Germany’s foundation was an ideology of racial purity, supported by the dehumanisation and destruction of those who did not fit the ideal. Entire systems of propaganda trained people to see their neighbours as threats, as less than human, as enemies to be removed. The same doctrine lives in Fjerda. The Drüskelle are not simply soldiers defending their homeland. They are the equivalent of the Nazi Einsatzgruppen, units whose purpose was to hunt, capture, and kill. They are trained from youth to believe that Grisha are unnatural, that killing them is a righteous act. In Nazi Germany, this thinking led to the industrialised murder of millions, carried out with military precision and supported by bureaucracy, timetables, and quotas. The Fjerdan hunts mirror this perfectly. It is not a matter of war over resources or territory. It is extermination as policy.
Aleksander understood both threats for what they were. He did not live in illusions about the possibility of peaceful compromise. He knew that facing such enemies required absolute commitment and the willingness to use every tool available. Anything less would have been an open invitation for those regimes to advance and begin their work inside Ravka’s borders.
It is easy for some young people in safety to call him a monster. It is easy to speak of moral purity when you have never faced an enemy that would cut open your child while still alive to test a theory, or execute your entire family because of what you were born as. Aleksander did not have the privilege of pretending such things could be solved with diplomacy. He bore the responsibility of decisions that others refused to face. He accepted the burden of being the one to act when no one else would.
And yet, in some retellings, he is described as worse than the horrors he fought. As if standing between your people and the Grishaverse’s own Unit 731 or Nazi Germany is somehow the greater evil. The irony would be amusing if it were not such a perfect sign of historical amnesia. History is filled with leaders who turned away until it was too late, until the killings had already begun, until entire communities were erased. Aleksander was not one of them. He saw the reality and chose to act. He accepted that survival sometimes demands choices that will scar you forever. He chose that path because to do nothing would have meant the destruction of everything and everyone he was meant to protect.
If you cannot see that, you have never truly understood what it takes to stop the worst evils our world, or his, can produce.
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Alternative format Google Doc (5.4k word count) is available here in plain text with image descriptions!
Here's an intro to Formula 1 lore. Get to know some famous rivalries, resident curses, and basic history!
I am once again infodumping about F1, but this time it is about some of the lore in as unbiased of a fashion as I can.
If you notice anything wrong with this presentation (whether it be ALT text, a fact, something formatted oddly, etc.), please feel free to tell me, I will gladly fix any errors!
And, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
Click here to view my intro to F1 as a sport.
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