lay low

once i get taken out back and shot i'll be fine

you will see something that the us military has done and it will be the most horrifying thing in the world. something that should be the catalyst for a complete upheaval of the system, for riots in the streets, for national mourning periods and rewritten textbooks and decades of reparations. and the whole time it's just a normal day for them. they did something like it yesterday and they'll do it again tomorrow. the lucky ones even get to come home and spend the rest of their lives getting discounts at the movies and applause at baseball games. and if you try to express any this to the average person irl they will act like you shot their dog in front of them

me after a minor inconvenience: i hope i get hit by a [remembers i’m anti car-centric infrastructure] pedestrian

got that dog in me and mitski has been showing financial interest in it

Sleeping like shit is soooo cool because the next day you get to feel like you have a disease

wait hold on. does it just say kukle.

You used to log onto the internet and find out it was peanut butter jelly time. Not any more.

Your job is to crawl around on all fours through the aisles and scare all the customers

Just got jumped by gay bullies and they made me give them my brunch money

since when is brunch gay

Since Gurg and Zog drank fermented gooseberry juice and sucked each other off after a mammoth steak at 1pm in 10,000 BC