Me Myself & My Random Thoughts.

Tonight was the bachelor and bachelorette parties and Sam was still feeling uneasy. His gut was almost never wrong. It had been 5 years, 7 months, and 23 days since he’s seen her. He had the same uneasy feeling then as he showed up to one of her shows his heart swelled with pride to see her living her dream. The sold out crowd mesmerized by her just like he had been for many many years and maybe for the rest of his life. He still remembers the moment when she locked eyes with him from the stage in the crowd. A huge smile upon her face as she spotted him, a smile he knew she reserved just for him.

“Earth to Evans!” Puck said slapping Sam on the back and out of his daydream. “Are you in on this shot or not?” He asked once more.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam replied uncertain of what exactly Puckerman was asking.

“Hey, not tonight. None of that Misery Love Mercy mess.” Mike chimed in seeing the knowing look on the blonde’s face.

“Preach!” Artie agreed.

“I third that.” Blaine commented from the seat next to Sam.

“Misery loves what?” Sam asked confused.

“You think we don’t know exactly what you’re doing over there? You’re over there fantasizing about Mercedes. And before you even give me that look like I just cussed your mama, her name is Mercedes. You shouldn’t be that hard up over a woman to where you can’t even say her name.” Puck answered.

“But in all fairness if I was going to be hard up over a woman, Mercedes is a good choice.” Mike added. “I mean I’ve touched that ass once or twice, and it’s glorious.” He smiled causing Sam to growl.

“Mike…” his tone was warning.

“What? It’s not like I said I was going to try to pick her up or take her out on a date. All I said was she had a glorious ass. It’s not just about her ass either, she’s a really good catch. I mean she’s beautiful, smart, funny as hell, not to mention her voice is like that of angels.”

“When I say I’m not trying to add to your misery, just know that I’m telling the truth. But everything he just said I agree.” Blaine said with a shrug. “If I just happen to like women, I could see myself falling for a girl like her.” Unlike the rest of the guys Blaine took pity on his friend and refrained from saying her name.

“So it’s OK for you guys to sit here and fawn over my ex-girlfriend, but when I do it I’m miserable? Gee, thanks.” Sam scoffed and downed the shot placed in front of him. “Another,” he instructed the bartender.

“That’s not what we’re saying, we do it once every blue moon but every since you went to see her a while back you’ve been heavy on the brooding.”

“With reason,” Sam said under his breath grabbing Blaine’s untouched shot and knocked it back. Just then the bartender returned with Sam’s shot and he drowned that one down just as fast.

“Sam,” Blaine spoke his name with concern. “Slow down.”

“Fuck that, Bowtie,” Puck exclaimed. “If anything we need to catch up to Sammy boy here. Enough talking about ex-girlfriends, especially blondes who lead you on. Make you think you’re going to have a happy life, but then turn around and leave you when you decide you want to quit the military and start a family with her. We’re not gonna talk about singing ex-girlfriends who are out here being superstars and too busy to have time for us, no matter how glorious their asses are. Tonight we’re going to knock down some shots, celebrate our boy Artie, flirt with a couple of hot honeys and maybe even find someone to tangle up in the sheets with.” Puck raised a shot in the air.

“To hell with exes, to upcoming great sex, and to Artie who is marrying a hell of girl. Cheers fellas.”

“Cheers!!” They all said in unison.

XXXXXXX

Four hours later Sam was smashed. He was humming the chorus to Mercedes’ latest song which had been in his head since the bar played it two hours ago. Even in his inebriated state he still couldn’t drown thoughts of her out of his head. He was making his way back to his room having left Puck with the ‘honeys’ he procured for them both not really feeling it. He could never do the one night stand thing, it wasn’t his style. Not when the last time he’d…nope. He shook his head as he held onto the railing of the elevator, instantly regretting that motion.

Get your shit together man.

The elevator rang out but he noticed it wasn’t yet on his floor.

“Great, now I have to share this ride with someone.” He muttered trying to move steadily to the side to make room for whoever was joining him. His back was to the doors as they opened. He was leaning over the back railing, eyes closed to keep from getting dizzy.

“Oh,” he heard a voice from behind him.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t expecting anyone to be on here.” The voice came again and the hairs on the back of his neck stood tall. He knew that voice. Never would forget it or mistake it for anyone else.

“No, no, no.” He spoke quietly at first and then louder. He forced himself to turn around and came face-to-face with her.

“Sam?” Mercedes shrieked happily as she dropped her suitcase and invaded his space.

Without a moment to even process what was going on she was in his arms. Her body still soft, warm, meshed perfectly into his. As if on instinct Sam wrapped his arms tightly around her, face nuzzling her lush curls. He closed his eyes inhaling her intoxicating scent.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He heard her whisper in his chest.

“Mercedes? What are you doing here?”

“I keep trying to tell myself, and everyone around me I’m here to see two of my oldest friends get married. The truth is Sammy, I came here for you.”

He couldn’t stop himself if he wanted too. He cupped her cheeks with his hands and captured her mouth with his own. The kiss was desperate, hot, sloppy, and demanding. He claimed her lips like a starving man who hadn’t had a decent meal in years. Mercedes clutched his shirt tightly giving him everything he gave in returned. She could taste the alcohol on his lips and tongue as it surged in her mouth.

“Wait,” she gasped breaking the kiss with remorse. “Don’t you think we should talk about things first?” She suggested. “Plus, I think you might be drunk boo.” She smiled taking in the state of the boy in front of her.

“Kiss now, talk later.” Sam uttered out drunkenly. He stalked toward her but wobbled and she reached out to help him upright.

“Let’s get you some coffee and an aspirin. Then we can talk.” She laughed.

Sam woke with the sun beaming down like a fire breathing dragon on his face. “Oh God why does the sun exist?” He groaned placing the pillow over his face. He knew he was hungover. To make matters worse he had the most vivid dream about Mercedes last night. She was here, in Maui, in his elevator, and he kissed her.

He let out a loud huff of frustration into the pillow.

“Hey drunkie,” he heard someone say and he sat up with a quickness. Too quick and he paid for it with a slight case of whiplash.

“Mercedes?” He questioned.

“Morning Sammy.” She smiled sitting down on the bed in front of him. She held her hand out before him two pills inside. “Take these.” He reached for the pills taking them both. “Drink.” She handed him a glass of orange juice which he drank as well. “Now, listen.”

She sighed heavily before she began to speak. “It was foolish of me to think that the decision I made five years ago when you came to see me was the right one. It wasn’t that I was selfish, but more so I knew that I wasn’t ready. And it’s not that I wasn’t ready to be with you, but I wasn’t ready to be with anyone. Everything was happening all too fast. My career was finally at a place where I could see myself actually fulfilling all of my dreams, I was no longer just the back up singer, or struggling with putting out a decent album, writing hit songs for everyone else but myself. I, Mercedes Jones, was actually going to be a headliner. And when I started on tour it was only half a feeling because the best part about my music was missing. It was you.”

Sam watched as she spoke he could see she was nervous but also he could tell the sincerity in her words. “But you said no. You said you were,” he said but she cut him off.

“I lied. I know what I said back then and it was stupid and a lie. I said no because I felt undeserving. I said no because I didn’t feel in that moment that I was good enough for you.”

“Bullshit.” He spat. “I call bullshit. You never were undeserving of me. I always told you that.”

“I know what you would say, I know what you would try to put in my head every time those words that would come. But it wasn’t a looks thing, it was a your heart has always been in the same exact place, you never wavered when it came to how you felt about me, about us, about what we could be, about what we have. I mean I always second-guessed. Some of that did had to do with my insecurities, but some of it was just fear of making myself vulnerable enough to be with someone in that way. It’s part of the reason why we never really had sex.“

“But we did that night.” He interjected.

“Yes, we did. I stand by what I said it was the best night of my life.”

“Then why did you say no? Why didn’t you say yes?”

She’s stood feeling a little bit uneasy trying to shake off the horrible look that he had on his face when she crushed his heart until million pieces the nervousness of the whole moment coming back to her like a huge weight on her shoulders. “You have to look at it from my point of you Sam. How would you feel if you just had sex for the very first time, and the person who you did it with tells you we should get married tonight?”

“I meant every word. I didn’t say it as some spur of the moment ordeal.”

“Please, you can’t tell me you came there with the notion of I’m going to ask Mercedes to marry me.” She huffed.

“Wanna bet?” He stood going over to his bag and pulling out a black box from the side pocket.

“What the hell is that?”

“Proof, it’s proof that I was serious when I came to you that night.” He handed the box to her and she stared at it incredulously. “I had that with me that night, before we even slept together. The plan was first to have a nice dinner, and then after dinner I was going to take you for a walk and then at the park I was going to propose to you. It was my plan all along but things didn’t quite go that way.”

Mercedes opened the box with a gasp. The ring was beautiful. It was perfect. She recognized it instantly. “This is your grandmother’s ring. You were gonna give me your grandmother’s ring?”

“Yes. I got it from my dad before I left to surprise you.”

“Now I feel even more unworthy of your love.” She shook her head. “I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry Sam. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did out of fear. I shouldn’t have lied and said that I was seeing someone after we had just made love for the first time. There was no guy. I just didn’t know what to do.” She stayed looking down as if she was ashamed of herself.

“Hey,” he kneeled in front of her using his thumb to lift her chin. “Don’t do that.” Her brown eyes met his and his heart swelled. She was surely his weakness. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek softly. “As mad as I want to be about you lying,” he began, “I can’t be bothered to even do so.”

“Sam, you should be. I deserve that. I des-“ she was cut off by a finger pressed to her lips.

“We’ve already wasted so much time. What good will it do for me to be angry? I’ve always known what I wanted in life. Ever since that night when you placed your hand in mine at Prom. It just won’t go away. I don’t want it to.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Please tell me you feel the same way.”

Mercedes could feel the tears begin to fall down her cheeks. He was right. They wasted so much time already and she felt like it was all because of her. “Yes, I feel the same. You’ve always had my heart Sam, even when we weren’t together. All these years it’s been you. Only you.” She lifted her head pressing her lips to his in a sweet kiss. Sam took control of it deepening it. Before Mercedes could get too lost in his kiss she pulled away.

“How long till the wedding?” She asked.

“What?” Sam replied confused.

“How long till the wedding?” She asked again standing excitement filling her eyes.

Sam looked at the bedside clock. “In about eight hours. Why?”

“Do you love me?”

This time Sam was the one to stand. “Yes, you know I do.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yeah…Mercedes what’s with the questions?”

“Good, I have a crazy idea.”

Nine hours later…….

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house as Blaine gave his speech. Sam was so glad he went first because there wouldn’t have been any way he could have followed this speech. He chanced a glance over at Mercedes sitting at her table and locked eyes with her.

“I love you.” He mouthed.

“I love you too.” He could see her mouthed her reply.

Everyone had a good laugh as Artie and Tina had their first dance. It started out slow and sweet then turned into a whole spectacle that ended up with Artie shirtless. Now as the reception began to die down Sam found himself on the dance floor slow dancing with Mercedes.

“The wedding really was beautiful.” She said staring up at him with the cutest smile.

“Yes, it was.” Sam twirled Mercedes around and pulled her flush back in his arms.

“I know everyone was moved by Blaine’s speech but I loved yours too.”

“Thank you. I meant every word of it. This day is the happiest day of my life. For more than one reason.”

“Do you think they know?” She asked curiously.

“Nah, I don’t think they do. Believe me I’ve wanted to shout it out a few times but I’ve been a good boy as promised.”

“I have too, but the last thing I want to do is steal Tee’s thunder.”

“So we wait.”

“Yes, we wait.”

“For how long?” Sam pondered.

“I’d say after their honeymoon.”

“Okay, I can do that.” He agreed.

“Sounds like a plan to me Mr. Evans.”