just clark eating you out to the point of tearsβ¦
the air was thick and almost humid. your fingers curled around the bedsheets, gripping the fabric like it was the only thing you could do. it was. your chest was heaving, your nipples taut as your back arched off the bed. you were practically sticking to the sheets, your body covered in a thin layer of sweat.
βc-clarkβ¦β you gasped out, your body shaking and writhing β just the way he liked to see you. your clit was throbbing against his tongue, overstimulated and over worked. but he wasnβt done. clark never was. when he got like this, completely lust drunk on you, he could please you for hours. it was like he never got tired.
βcome on, baby, one more. you can do it for me.β he purred, his voice soft and almost innocent like his tongue wasnβt deep inside your pussy right now. clark looked up at you with those big blue eyes, his tongue withdrawing from your fluttering cunt to flick at your clit. your eyes rolled back again, a strangled moan ripping from your throat. clark smirks, knowing heβs got you right where he wants you, his tongue flicking just right against the sensitive bundle of nerves.
βthatβs it, baby, just let it happen.β he coaxed as he alternated between sucking your clit and flicking it with this tongue. βgod you taste so good.β he moans against your folds, making your body jerk. you were teetering on the edge of another orgasm, your clit throbbing and aching and making it hard to focus. your fingers threaded through his silky hair, tugging and pulling on the dark, curly strands.
βp-please clarkβ¦ i canβtβ¦β you whimpered, your abdomen aching from the constant clenching and unclenching of your muscles. clark looked up at you, a dark curl falling down his forehead. βoh you can. and you will.β and you knew you were fucked. you knew clark wasnβt going to stop until you had another orgasm. as if the other 6 werenβt enough. he was greedy. and this was the only time he allowed himself to be greedy.
βi know, sweet girl. i know itβs hard, but you can do it. youβre so strong. i know you can do it. just come for me, sweetheart.β he praises you as if he himself isnβt superman. the man with literal super strength was stroking your ego, telling you how strong you were.
βiβ¦ fuck!β you cried out, clarkβs tongue licking from your entrance to your clit before suckling gently. he could tell you were so fucking close, the way your pussy was clenching, your body hot and tense with impending orgasm. he was trying to be gentle knowing how overstimulated you were right now, but gosh he just wanted ravage you and make you cum harder than you ever have before. and trust me, heβs made you cum hard several times. it was like a competition with himself each time.
tears were rolling down your cheeks and onto the pillow beneath your head. the pleasure was overwhelming and the way your body worked extra hard to come again had sent you into oblivion. your orgasm hit you like a freight train, your hips bucking against clarkβs mouth as you whimpered and cried out his name like a mantra. clark groaned as he watched you come undone, your body convulsing as you rode out your high. clark flicked his tongue gently along your clit, drawing out your pleasure while trying not to crumble you more than you already have.
clark presses several soft kisses to your clit as he watches you tremble with aftershocks of your orgasm and he swears youβve never looked so beautiful. your chest is heaving, breathing heavy and a completely blissed out expression on your face. βyou did so well for me, sweetheart. iβm so proud of you.β clark presses a kiss to your inner thigh before crawling up your body and letting you taste yourself on his lips. βyou taste yourself?β clark mumbles against your lips, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. you nod your head. βyou taste like an angel straight from heaven.β
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pairing: clark kent (superman 2025) x journalist!reader
summary: heβs soft. earnest. 6β4 of midwestern guilt and golden retriever loyalty. and he looks at you like you invented the sun. youβre fine. everythingβs fine. itβs just friends-with-benefits. you're not a thing. but clark? clark has always been there. warm, steady, maddeningly soft. indulging your commitment-phobic nonsense with quiet patience and those unfairly good dimples. until suddenlyβheβs not. listen to the playlist here!
word count: 11.2k (jesus christ, i am so sorry)
content warnings: 18+ mdni, fem!reader, piv sex, they freak NASTY in this one, dom/sub undertones, soft dom!clark, sub!reader, brat/brat taming, oral (fem!receiving), marathon sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, shower sex, eye contact, mentions of bdsm and handcuffs, light marking kink, nipple play, protected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), then unprotected sex, rough sex, riding, mentions of sex toys, clark picks the reader up, mentions of reader's hair, commitment issues, situationship survivor!clark, ungodly amounts of yearning and denial, angst, happy ending
It doesnβt start with sex.
It starts with Clark.
Which is to say: it starts with Metropolisβs biggest, most overgrown corn-fed boy scout, who gets flustered every time you swear, who says things like βgoshβ and βwhat the hayβ without a trace of irony, and who you once watched spend ten full minutes trying to politely decline a street hotdog but the vendor just βlooked so hopeful.β
You met him on your third and a half day at the Daily Planet.
He spilled coffee on you. A full cup. Right down the front of your blazer. Frothy iced caramel latte catastrophe. He panicked immediatelyβrushed through an apology so fast you barely caught the wordsβthen offered, in complete earnestness, to dry-clean your coat. Not send it to the dry cleaner. Do it himself. Like it was the gentlemanly thing to do. You just stared at him, dripping, blinking. βAre you okay?β you asked, because someone had to.
He noddedβtoo fastβthen proceeded to trip over the recycling bin just trying to get you napkins.
Youβve been friends ever since.
Itβs not the cleanest origin story.
But over time, somehow, Clark became your person.
Not in the βcall-at-3-a.m.-while-sobbingβ kind of way (thatβs Jimmy), or the βbring-wine-and-insult-your-evil-exβ kind of way (also Jimmy).Β
But in a steadier, quieter way. You write your little articles; he helps edit them. You fight with your sources on the sidewalk; he bakes them apology muffins the day after to make sure they don't contact Perry. You cover Metropolis politics like itβs trench warfare, and he smiles across the bullpen at you like youβre doing Godβs work even when you're calling the mayor a βpower-drunk thumb in a trench coat and a receding hairline you can see from space.β
Heβs your constant. Steady and reliable and always five degrees too soft for this world.
Which is exactly why it doesnβt make sense.
Why, one night, it all⦠shifts.
.
Youβre soaked.
Not in the steamy, sexy way. Not even in the Charli-XCX-Spring-Breakers kind of soaked.
Just: wet. Unpleasantly. In that half-drenched, trench-foot, what-is-my-life kind of way.
The weather app lied again (seriously, Metropolis Weather has one job), and your jacket is now suctioned to your body like a bad ex. Your boots have crossed the line from βwater-resistantβ to a really bad βSwamp Thing cosplay,β and your toteβhome to your press pass and a sad little Tupperware of soggy couscousβis dripping like itβs auditioning for a plumbing ad.
So when Clark offers his placeβsoft-voiced, ever-accommodating, all that big dumb golden retriever energyβyou say yes.
Not because youβre weak. Please.
Because he lives closer.
Logistically. Geographically.
(Okay, maybe emotionally, too, but youβll unpack that when your socks arenβt squelching like a really bad porno.)
So now youβre in his apartment. Standing in the entryway. Leaving a trail of water on his hardwood floors while he gently, gently hands you a towel and fiddles with the thermostat and says things like, βYouβre going to catch a cold if you donβt change out of those clothes.β
And you, being the self-possessed adult that you are, snort and say, βThank you, Mom.β
Clark blushes.
Actually blushes. Like a cartoon character. Like a man who has never, in his life, imagined someone undressing in his home, which is hilarious, given that youβve seen the size of his arms.Β
βSorry,β he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. βI just meantβ¦ yeah. Youβre soaked.β
His place smells like cinnamon and laundry detergent. Thereβs a candle burning on the kitchen counterβone of those $9.99 specials from Bath & Body Works. You imagine him in the store, earnestly reading the label on something called "Warm Vanilla Sugar" while the cashier tries to upsell him on a five-for-fifteen deal.
The image makes your lips curl. Your mascara's halfway down your cheekbones, your calves are cramping from the walk, and you should really, really, really just go take a hot shower and crash on his couch.
Instead, you look at him.
And heβs looking back.
Not like most men doβnot the bar-stool inventory of what you are and arenβt. Not a scan. Not a question. More like a memory. Like heβs already filed you away in some quietly treasured part of his brain and heβs just taking the time to make sure the details are right. Like you are known.
You donβt think. You donβt make a plan. You just move.
Step forward. Grab the lapels of his flannel like it owes you money. Pull him down. Kiss him.
Itβs not graceful. Not choreographed. You catch his chin at a weird angle, and your nose bumps into his, and the kiss lands too sharp, too fast. Like youβre trying to stun him. Like youβre trying to win a fight.
But then, he exhales.
And he melts. Not urgently. Not hungrily. Just⦠fully.
Like this is the thing heβs been waiting on for months, and now that itβs finally happening, heβs scared to spook it. His hands hover for a beat, like heβs making sure itβs real, and then one comes to rest lightly on your waistβtentative, patient. The other curls around your jaw with all the softness of a man who has no business being this gentle.
You break the kiss first, of course.
Because you always break things first.
When you look at him, he's staring at you like you invented language. Like he doesnβt know what to do with his hands, so they hover awkwardly at your sides, respectful, warm, and shaking just a little.
Which is when the panic crashes in.
Heβs not supposed to look at you like that. Like you hung the stars. Like he knows you. Like he loves you.
Because if he does. If he really, truly does. Then eventually, heβll stop.
They always stop.
People love you in the beginning. They love your bite, your snark, the way you know which part of a politician's background are most incriminating. They love the thrill of earning your attention. They love that you make them work for it. But eventually, the charm fades. The sharp edges cut a little too deep.Β
You forget to text back. You overshare. You undershare. You get tired. You get real.
And they get bored.
Youβve never wanted to risk that with Clark. Heβs been yoursβjust yours, in the safe wayβfor too long.
You step back like the floor might collapse under you.Β
Put space. Justβ¦ anything between your body and the soft burn of his flannel. Try not to think about how fucking warm he was. βShitβuh. You donβt have to say anything,β you blurt, voice too fast, too thin. βWe can pretend it didnβt happen. Go back to normal. Thatβs fine.β
Clarkβs brows knit, not in offense, just concern. He doesnβt look hurt. He looksβ¦ steady. Like he expected this part. βAre you sure?β
The way he asks it is soft. Unhurried. Like itβs not some ultimatum. Like itβs okay if you're not sure.
You open your mouth. Close it. Swallow.
βI justββ You press your fingers to your temple, like maybe that might just reorganize your entire internal filing system. βYou know I donβt do relationships.β
βI know,β he says, without hesitation.
You study himβreally study himβlike youβre trying to find the catch. Some hint of disappointment or wounded ego. But it isnβt there.
He reaches up slowly and tucks a damp strand of hair behind your ear, his touch feather-light. βYou donβt have to do anything youβre not ready for.β
You blink. βEven if Iβm the one who kissed you?β
Clark smiles, just barely. βEspecially then.β
His hand lingers near your cheek, but he doesnβt push. Heβs patient in that maddening, disarming way. Waiting, always, for you to meet him halfway.
βWhatever you want,β he says again, quiet. βIβm good with that.β
You stare at him. βYouβre really not gonna argue?β
βNope.β
βNot gonna psychoanalyze me? Tell me Iβm avoidant or emotionally stunted or terrified of my own vulnerability?β
He huffs a small laugh. βAlready did. Long time ago.β
Your lips twitch despite yourself. βAnd?β
He shrugs, like itβs the easiest truth in the world. βYouβre complicated. But you care. A lot. More than you let people see.β
And damn it, you hate how much that lands. How much he lands. You hate that heβs always been able to see through you, gently, without ever demanding more than you could give. And you hateβmore than anything, more than all of thatβhow badly you want to kiss him again.
So you do.
Maybe to prove a point. Maybe to blow it all up before it can settle. Maybe because youβre already in too deep and part of you is tired of pretending youβre not.
You didnβt plan for it to go further. You didnβt plan anything, really.Β
But your hands slide up into the open collar of his flannel, and he stumbles a little as you back him into the bookshelf. His glasses tilt when your fingers brush his temple, and you pull them off carefully, reverently, like theyβre the only thing tethering you both to whatever was before.
His eyes are wide. His mouth already parted. And when he looks up at you like thisβflushed, breathless, undoneβyou think, mine.
And itβs terrifying.
Because it means itβs real.
It happened.
God.
It happened.
.
You strip him out of that worn flannel with a kind of sick, obsessive care. Button by button, like you were unwrapping a gift, like you were unearthing something youβd been searching for in every bad date, every failed talking stage, every mediocre bar makeout that had ever left you cold.
His flannel hit the floor. He doesn't say a word.
Not until you settle into his lap, thighs on either side of his. Thenβquietly, like he wasnβt sure if it was okay to want anythingβhe says, βYouβ¦ you donβt have to be gentle. Just, just in case. So you know.β
But you are. Because he is.Β
Because even now, even with your mouth to his, your hands fisted in his curls, his hands stay light on your hips. Like he doesn't want to take more than youβd give. Like he's still giving you the option to leave.
He makes a sound when your hips tilted forward. Not a groan, not exactly. Something deeper. A noise from his chest, halfway between a gasp and a plea. You kiss more of it out of him, mouths clumsy and desperate, fingers scrabbling at the hem of his undershirt, and it feels like breathing.
His breath's caught between his teeth when you rip a condom wrapper in between yours, slotting it onto him with shaking, shaking hands and trying not think about how he's probably the biggest you've ever had.
Lord have mercy.
You ride him like your life depends on it.
You get a thigh cramp halfway throughβlet out an annoyed groan and tried to keep goingβand he, sweet, precious idiot that he is, sits up and says your name like it hurt. Voice quivering like he wants to stop, wants to help, wants to make sure you're okay.
Absolutely no way in hell you wanted that to happen.
βClark,β you hissed. βChill. I'm okay, dude. Iβm fine.β
βOkay,β he said, dazed, grinning. βJustβdidnβt want you to get hurt. I mean. Youβre, uh. You were very intense. Just now.β
βYeah, well, youβre the one with the dick that's slowly rearranging my guts,β you mutter, and he laughs so hard his shoulders shook.
And worseβgoddamn it, worseβhe looks at you the whole time.
No games. No posing. Just Clark. Holding your hips with those handsβgod, those hands, unfairly big and warm and steadyβand looking up at you like he meant it.
Youβd told him once, over shitty fries past midnight on the curb at McDonald's, that you didnβt trust men who made eye contact during sex. Called it performative. Manipulative.Β
βLike theyβre trying to Jedi mind-trick you into thinking itβs love,β youβd scoffed, and he'd gone quiet in that way he does, not sulking, just thinking. But that he was filing it away.
So of courseβof courseβwhen you're bare above him, hair a mess, mascara still clinging to your cheekbones, all vulnerable and exposed and teetering over the edge because his dick was doing wonderful, amazing things to your insides and making you meltβ
He looks up at you with that open, earnest face and asks, softly:
βDo you want me to close my eyes?β
You freeze. Like an absolute idiot. Like prey.
And you say no.
"No."
Never.
He nods. βOkay.β
Then he kissed the inside of your wristβjust because it was thereβand you lost ten entire emotional minutes and your grip on reality, grinding down on him like your life depended on it.
You come so hard you forgot your name.Β
Forget what you were supposed to be protecting yourself from. Forget every lie youβve ever told yourself aboutΒ the depth of your feelings for him.
It was insane. Deranged.
(Perfect.)
Later, three orgasms later, you collapse over him in a ridiculous heap of limbs and half-dressed post-coital delirium, forehead pressed to his shoulder, chest still heaving.
And he whispered something into your hairβsomething low and steady and not quite the word love, but so close it that it scraped through your head.
Then he hums.
You donβt recognize it at firstβjust the vibration under your cheek, the low murmur of a tune, warm and unassuming. Youβre half-asleep, boneless, and not fully aware he's still inside of you, pulsing, your fingers curled around his neck.
But you listen.
βYou humming Dolly right now?β you murmur, voice hoarse.
Clark hums a little louder. ββHere You Come Again.ββ Then, almost shy, βSheβs good. What?β
You groan into his chest. βYou absolute dork.β
βI like her,β he says, defensive. βSheβs smart. You know she gave away, like, a million books toβwait, are you laughing?β
You are. Full-on giggling into his shoulder now. Giddy and too full and sore in all the best ways.
.
And you really don't mean to keep it going in the morning, let aloneΒ in the shower.
Truly.Β
You're just trying to get clean.Β
Wash off the evidence of the night beforeβsweat and come and a whole lifeβs worth of repressed emotional distressβbut then, Clark steps in right behind you, warm and quiet and too gentle.Β
And suddenly it was over for you. Just absolutely fucking over.
He offers to join, sheepish and bashful, eyes flicking away like he hadnβt just had his face between your thighs just a few hours ago. βJust to save water,β he says. β'Cause of the environmentβ¦ and all that.β
And sure, Clark. You absolute liar. The environment.
Except the second he steps in behind youβnaked, dripping wet, glasses still off so he looked all boyish and wreckableβyour resolve crumples like wet newspaper.
He reaches around you for the body wash and that was your downfall. Arm flexing around your waist, that goddamn baritone rumble in your ear as he asks, βThis one okay?β
Like you're supposed to justβwhat? function when his voice was doing that thing? That was supposed to be okay?
But then his hands are on your hipsβsteady, reverent, hugeβand you tilt your head back just enough to graze his jaw. He flinches. Or maybe you do. And before either of you could process it, your palm's flat against the tile and Clark was slowly pressing himself against your back.
βOkay?β he asks, voice a little too hoarse, a little too human.
You nod. βYeah. Justβdonβt be sweet about it.β
βBut I'm always sweet about it,β he mumbles, and then he was, dragging a hand up your stomach, brushing your wet hair off your neck, mouthing at the base of your spine like he was making a wish.
He moves inside you slow.Β
Like he means it. Like he thinks heβd scare you off if he went too fast. And it was disgusting, really, how good it felt. How intimate all of this was.
Your knees nearly buckle. You have to brace yourself with both palms on the glass, forehead pressed against fogged-up safety plastic, biting down on your own goddamn fist to keep from crying out his name like something from a romance novel.
(You still did, eventually. He made sure of that when he pressed one large hand up against your stomach so you can feel him, really feel him, and another down your front, rubbing at your clit like it was a lifeline until you saw stars.)
When it was overβwhen your legs were jelly and your throat was raw and your spine was doing that post-orgasm melt thingβyou turn to rinse the shampoo out of your hair, and he justβ¦ helped. Without you even having to say anything.
He lathers it for you, gentle and thorough, massaging your scalp. His cheeks are pink. His mouth is pink. You think about biting him. Maybe.
But instead, you let yourself lean into his chest while the water poured down over both of you, and you didnβt speak, because if you spoke, it would become too real.
So, you just let him wash your back.
He didnβt ask you to stay.
You didnβt ask if he wanted you to.
But when you wander out of the bedroom ten minutes laterβhalf-wet, flushed, wearing his old Central Kansas A&M hoodie like it hadnβt just been folded neatly in a drawerβyou find him in the kitchen, humming again.Β
Making pancakes.
βYou want blueberries in yours?β he asks, like he didnβt have his dick in you in the shower ten minutes ago.
And youβtraumatized, horny, emotionally compromisedβyou say, βSure."
Then, because your brain has finally rebooted just enough to return to its default defense mechanism:
βAlso, we need to talk.β
Clark pauses mid-pour, then turns around, spatula still in hand. βOkay,β he says, unbothered. His voice is calm, casual. Like you didnβt almost combust from having maybe, fourβno, five or six orgasms in his arms over the past twelve hours.
You cross your arms over your chest, over his sweatshirt. βLast nightβand this morning was great. I mean, objectively. A solid eight out of ten. No complaints.β
He looks amused. βOnly eight?β
βIβm leaving room for improvement,β you say, defensive. βBut I just want to be clear again that this isnβtβ¦ this isnβt a thing.β
Clark nods slowly. βOkay.β
You squint at him. βYouβre not going to ask what I mean by that?β
βWell,β he says, lips twitching, βIβuh, I figured Iβd let you finish your prepared statement first.β
You gape at him. βI knew I was giving Perry's press conference energy.β
βYouβre even holding your coffee like a mic.β
You glance down. You are. Damn it.
He walks over, sets your pancake on the table next to you, and then settles into the armchair across from the couch. His legs are way too long. He has to fold them a little awkwardly, which should be goofy, but somehow only makes him look more like someone who could carry you up a mountain and apologize for the inconvenience while doing it.
You sip your coffee. Clear your throat. βSo. Ground rules.β
He raises his brows. βRules?β
βYes. Rules. Guidelines. Frameworks for how thisβ¦ goes.β
Clark tilts his head. βYou mean forβ¦ us?β
βNo, for NATO,β you deadpan. βYes, us.β
He tries to cover a laugh with a sip of his own mug, but you see the dimple twitch. Smug bastard.
You forge ahead. βOkay. Rule one: this is casual. Very casual. Likeβ¦ like βyou can sleep with other peopleβ casual.β
Clark nods, slow. Thoughtful. βDo you want to sleep with other people?β
βNo,β you admit. Then scowl. βBut I want to have the option.β
βRight,β he says, nodding. βThe illusion of freedom.β
βExactly. Waitβ"
Heβs smiling at you now. Soft and fond and dangerously amused.
You plow on. βWhatever. Rule two: no romantic stuff. No dates. NoβlikeβValentineβs Day cards or surprise cupcakes or, God forbid, foot rubs.β
βYouβre really against foot rubs?β
βI just think they set a tone.β
Clark looks at his plate. βWhat if I just make you pancakes sometimes?β
You narrow your eyes. βPancakes are a gray area. I'm only allowing it this time."
βNoted.β
You tuck your feet under you. βRule three: no falling in love.β
He looks up.
Thereβs a pause. A beat of silence so thick it fills the whole room.
You add, quickly, βI know that sounds dramatic, but Iβve seen what love does to people, and itβs terrifying. They lose brain cells. They post Instagram captions like βmy foreverβ with sparkly emojis. They start making weird couple TikToks where they throw cheese slices at each otherβs heads. I canβt be part of that kind of ecosystem. I'm lactose intolerant."
Clarkβs smiling again. Not in the ha ha youβre sooooo funny way. In the I think youβre the best thing to ever happen to me way, which is very much against the rules.
βAre you even taking this seriously?β you demand.
βI am,β he says, clearly lying. βYouβre very intimidating.β
You roll your eyes and gesture wildly. βIβm just saying! I donβt want this to become something that implodes because IβGod, because I canβt remember your favorite pizza topping one day and suddenly weβreβwe're not friends anymore and splitting custody of houseplants andΒ fucking Cat is stuck writing a gossip column about it.β
Clark chuckles. A pause. βwell, for the record? My favorite pizza topping is mushrooms.β
You wrinkle your nose. βThatβs a red flag.β
βYouβre the one writing up a treaty before brunch.β
βExactly,β you say, triumphant. βSee? Weβre incompatible.β
Clark leans forward slightly.Β
The sunlight from the window cuts across his glasses, but you can still see his eyes, warm and impossibly blue, locked on yours like youβre the only person in Metropolis who matters. βI think youβre scared,β he says gently. βWhich is okay. I just want you to knowβ¦ Iβm not going anywhere. Rules or not.β
And thatβ
God. That should not make your eyes burn the way it does.
You shake your head, fast. βDonβt say stuff like that. Itβs dangerous. Youβll trick me into liking you more.β
βIβm just being honest.β
βWell, stop.β
He raises a brow. βWhat do I do if I want to kiss you?β
You freeze.
Your heart does a complicated backflip-kick into your ribs.
β...well, that's allowed,β you mutter.
He smiles again, dimple sinking deep.
And then, because heβs a menace with zero self-preservation, he leans in.
You meet him halfway.
And itβs soft this time. Sweeter. Slower. No rain, no adrenaline, just his hand cradling your jaw and your fingers twisted in the hem of his t-shirt like youβre trying to anchor yourself to something real.
.
It's been months now of your little arrangement. And you're already destroyed by the time he even speaks.
Not because heβs touched you yet. Not really. Heβs just there, mouth warm against the inside of your thigh, hands stroking the back of your knees like youβre something delicate. Something precious.
Which is so fucked. You are not precious.
You told him that that, breathless and still shirtless and sitting on his kitchen counter at midnight while he gently fed you the leftover peach cobbler Martha left for the two of you straight from the fridge.
He just nodded. Wiped away the crumb left on the edge of your lip. Said, βOkay.β
And then he kissed the inside of your wrist again and said, βYouβre still allowed to want things, you know.β
Which isβgod, so not fair.Β
Now heβs between your legs, kissing a line up your thigh like heβs praying. Heβs been taking his time. Like the goal isnβt to get you off, but to study you. Like heβs memorizing the exact way your breath catches and the little twitch of your fingers every time he licks just close enough to your center, but not quite.
Youβre panting. Whimpering. Biting your lip so hard youβre pretty sure you taste blood.
And heβs grinning. Not cockyβjust happy. Which is so much, so much worse.
βYouβre staring at me again,β you breathe.
Clark hums, kissing just below your hip. βI just like looking at you.β
βThatβs crazy,β you whisper. βYouβre crazy.β
βProbably.β He kisses your navel. βDo you want me to stop?β
You whine. You actually whine. You feel like you've just set feminism back by centuries. βNo.β
βDidnβt think so,β he murmurs, nuzzling into your skin. And then, because heβs the devil in a button-up: βYou know, the way you objectify me is honestly very inappropriate. Iβm not just aβjust a piece of meat, you know.β
You bark out a laugh, head tipping back against the pillow. βSo bad news, you're actually a mountain of meat, man.β
βSee? Objectified.β He presses a kiss just below your ribs. βReduced to myββkissββridiculous shouldersββkissββand tragic dimplesββkissββand stupidly proportionate thighsββ
βI didnβt say anything about your thighsββ
βOh, but I think you were thinking it.β
You giggle, delirious. Drunk on this man. βGod, shut up and fuck me.β
Clark goes still.
Not awkwardlyβthis isnβt early-days Clark, the one who used to stammer when you wore red lipstick when you came over and knocked over his own coffee trying to offer you a napkin.Β
This Clarkβthe one under you now, hands broad and firm against your thighs, spine pressed into the worn couch like itβs the only thing keeping him from rising into the skyβthis Clark is different.Β Β
Heβs grown into himself. Into this. Into you.
Not cocky, not exactly. But assured in a way that makes your stomach clench and your mouth go dry. Youβve seen it happen slowly. Like the sunriseβyou didnβt notice until the whole room was full of it.
This Clark doesn't flinch when you flirt, doesnβt panic when your mouth goes sharp or your eyes go guarded. He justβ¦ waits. He sees it all. Lets you burn yourself out. And then lays a hand on your cheek like youβre made of something precious.
Still, he doesnβt move.
And thatβs what sets you off.
You squirm, shifting your weight in his lap, irritated now. βWhat?β
He looks up at you, his jaw tight, hands still splayed over your thighs like he doesnβt know whether to hold on or let go. Thereβs something in his eyes, sharp, patient, impossibly tender, and it makes your chest ache in a way you refuse to name.
βYou really want that?β he asks, voice low.
You roll your eyes. βYou think I climbed onto your face to do taxes?β
βThatβs not what I asked.β
Your stomach flips. You hate when he does this. Gets all serious and calm and measured while youβre flailing, clearly two seconds away from combusting. You cross your arms over your chestβpetulant, defensive. βClark.β
βYou say stuff like that,β he murmurs, one hand slowly dragging up the back of your thigh, βbut then you pull back like Iβve asked for your soul.β
You glare at him. βIβm not pulling back.β
He lifts a brow. βYou havenβt even kissed me yet.β
You scowl. βI was about to, but youβre being annoying.β
His smile is crooked, lazy, maddening. βYeah? Gonna punish me for it?β
Your heart skips. You hate that you love it when he talks like that. You hate that heβs rightβthat youβre the one drawing lines in the sand and then pretending you donβt care when he steps over them.
You lean down, hover over his mouth. βI swear to god, if you donβt do something soon, Iβm walking out that door.β
He catches your jaw in one hand, gentle but firm. βYou wonβt.β
βWatch me.β
His thumb drags over your bottom lip. Lets it pop out just a bit, so you can feel the way the wetness drips over your chin. βYou always say that. You never do.β
Your breath stutters. Your spine goes stiff. You hate how much he knows you. You hate that heβs always so calm about it, so damn tender, even when heβs calling you out.
βIβm not just a warm body, you know,β he says after a beat, the faintest furrow between his brows. βIf thatβs what you wanted, you shouldβve picked someone who doesnβt look at you like I do.β
You blink. βAnd how is that?β
Clark tilts his head, eyes never leaving yours. βLike I actually see you.β
You hate him for that. A little.
But you kiss him anyway.
Hard. Sharp. Like a warning.
And then he flips youβeffortless, smooth, like it doesnβt take more than a breath. One of his hands pins your wrists above your head. The other trails slow up the curve of your thigh. His mouth finds your neck, and you gaspβnot in surprise, but because itβs too much. Heβs too much.
βYou keep asking me to take you apart,β he murmurs against your skin, βbut you never let me show you what it actually means.β
βOh my god,β you groan, shivering under him. βYou are so fuckingββ
βWhat?β he interrupts, dragging his mouth back up to yours. βSoft? Serious? A buzzkill?β
You donβt respond. Youβre too busy squirming, too busy arching into him, because heβs right. Again.
βToo bad,β he murmurs, smiling like a secret. βYou donβt get to run the show tonight.β
And you're already clawing at his back by the time he finally pushes in. And god, fuck, itβsβ
Heβs so much. Too much. Even now, even after months of attempting to get used to him, after a minimum of one hour of foreplay every time, hours spent fingering you open and devouring you whole and it still makes your spine tingle in the best way possible. The push and pull of it every time, the struggle, the way he looks at you so, so proudly when he's bottomed out and your smiling from under him like you've just won the lottery.
You make a soundβsomething small, strangled, "Clark."βand he doesnβt shush you this time.
He smiles.
βThere it is,β he murmurs. βNow weβre being honest.β
.
Then one day, Clark cancels a lunch.
Thatβs it. Thatβs all. Not the end of the world.
He texts you a sweet apology. Too many words, as always, classic Clark, something about a lead on some money laundering story and βIβll bring dinner to make up for it, promise, anything you want, even that overpriced pasta from the place with the weird chairs.β He adds three emojis. Two are completely nonsensical (a chicken and a rain cloud?). One is a little heart. You stare at it longer than you should.
You text back something breezy. Casual. βYouβre the one missing out on my lunchtime TedTalk about corrupt city councilmen and their tragic toupees.β
He doesnβt respond until hours later. Just a thumbs-up emoji.
You tell yourself itβs fine. You tell yourself you donβt care.
.
Then it happens again.
This time, you're already standing outside the Planet, coffee lukewarm, watching a construction crew down the block try to maneuver scaffolding around a new billboard. Itβs another Superman PSAβthird this month. Something about disaster preparedness and blood drives. His capeβs caught mid-whip, expression noble and inhumanly calm. You roll your eyes, but your stomach tugs a little. Something about the stillness in his postureβit looks almost familiar.
Your phone rings.
Clark.
You answer with a smirk, trying to make it light. βShould I be worried youβve joined a pyramid scheme? Please tell me youβre not selling supplements.β
Thereβs a pause, then his voice, warm but ragged around the edges: βIβm so sorry. Something came up. Can I explain later?β
You make some offhand joke about mafia debt collectors and say, βNo worries,β even as your stomach twists.
He sounds tired. Tired in a way Clark never really gets. Youβre the one who burns out, who rants and paces and flirts with deadline-induced breakdowns. Heβs the one who shows up with coffee and an extra pen. Always.
But now his voice has this roughness to it. Frayed edges. Like heβs trying not to breathe too hard into the receiver. Like he just ran here. Or ran away from somewhere.
βAre you okay?β you ask, before you can stop yourself.
Another pause. βYeah,β he says, and he softens, like he always does when he hears your voice. βI will be.β
.
By week three, heβs dodging plans like itβs his new hobby. Youβre not hurt, obviously. Youβre busy too. You have other friends. You go to bars. You flirt with bartenders youβll never text back. You have a whole life outside of this whole thing with Clark.
Itβs not a relationship. Itβs just a thing. A nice, dependable, sometimes pantsless thing.
Thatβs all.
But still, thereβs this night.
Youβre at your apartment. Thereβs an old movie playing, something black and white and miserable, and Clark was supposed to be here an hour ago.
Youβd ordered his favorite takeout. Youβd even found that dumb craft soda he likes, the one that tastes vaguely like melted gummy worms. You told yourself you just wanted someone to share the noodles with.
He doesnβt show.
No call. No text.
You sit through the entire movie. Alone.
And when your phone finally buzzesβclose to midnight, just his name and a short, βIβm so sorry. Can we talk soon?ββ you stare at it for a long moment.
Then you flip your phone over, face-down.
And in the dark, you think, Shit. This is how it starts. The distance. The shift. The slow pulling away.
Youβve done it to people before.
You just never thought youβd be on the receiving end.
Not from him.
Not from Clark.
.
Around 11:30, you open Twitter out of boredom. You donβt cry. That would imply something was wrong. That you were hurt. Youβre not. Obviously.
Youβre just a little annoyed.
And maybe, just mayb, youβre thinking about how Clark used to be your safest person. Your sure thing. Your just-text-me, just-call-me, just-walk-right-in-without-knocking guy.
And now heβs something else. Something slippery. Something you have to squint at sideways to understand.
Your thumb scrolls through the usual mess. Politicians being embarrassing, memes youβre already tired of, some half-hearted discourse about whether the Metropolis skyline is over-designed or βdelightfully optimistic.β
Then: a video clip.
No sound. Just shaky phone footage.
A blur of red and blue moving fastβstreaking through the air over Hobbs Bay, pulling someone from a collapsed scaffolding, leaving behind a wake of stunned bystanders and bent steel.
You pause. Watch it again. Retweets piling up.
BREAKING: Superman saves construction worker after scaffolding collapse.
You stare at it for a second longer than you mean to, then snort under your breath.
Must be nice, you think. Some people get rescued. Some other unlucky fuckers just get ghosted.
.
The message comes on a Thursday. One of those weirdly warm spring evenings when Metropolis smells like asphalt and deli grease and the last ten years of your bad decisions.
Hey. You free tonight?
You stare at it for a moment too long. Thumb hovering.
Then:
yeah. yours?
A pause.
If you want.
God, heβs infuriating. Polite even now. Careful with you, like youβre made of something breakable. Like you havenβt already cracked half a dozen times this month alone.
Still, you go.
.
Itβs not tense at first. Itβs easy. Familiar.
Clark opens the door wearing one of those threadbare t-shirts that should be illegal, sleeves barely containing his biceps, neckline just a little too stretched from use. His hairβs damp. Thereβs flour on his cheek.
βYou baked?β you ask, stepping past him before he can do that thing where he tries to gauge your mood like a barometer.
He shrugs. βFelt like it.β
Thereβs banana bread cooling on the counter. Two plates. One knife. Heβs already sliced yours and left the end pieceβyour favoriteβon the left, like always.
You want to be mad. Or suspicious. Or anything that would make this easier to navigate. But itβs hard to keep your footing when heβs being like this. Soft. Normal. Like he didnβt flake three times last month. Like you hadnβt spent the last few nights half-dressed and overthinking on your bathroom floor
But them again, you could never really resist him for that long.
So maybe itβs no surprise that your dress ends up pooled around your ankles. The lampβs still on. Your mouths are moving like theyβve done this a hundred timesβbecause you have, but it's not enough, will never be enoughβand youβre both pretending itβs still casual. Still nothing.
Except it doesnβt feel like nothing.
And then Clark pulls back.
Not sharply. Not like heβs been burned. More like he just remembered something, which, again, not unusual. Youβve seen that look before. That oh shit look.
But tonight, he doesnβt immediately jump up.Β
He doesnβt mutter something about needing to check in with Perry or help Lois edit her headline.
He just⦠stares at you.
And not in the usual way, not with those soft, soft eyes like youβre something he stumbled across in a field and decided to treasure. He looksβserious. Scared, even. His hand is still on your hip, but his other is twitching slightly at his side like it doesnβt know what to do with itself.
βWe need to talk,β he says.
You still have one shoe on. You donβt even remember kicking the other off.
You blink at him. βIβwhat?β
He licks his lips. His glasses are smudged. He doesnβt take them off.
βSomethingβs beenβthereβs something that I need to tell you,β he says, slower now, like heβs rehearsing this in real time and trying not to panic.
And thatβthat is when your stomach drops.
Because you know this script. Youβve seen this scene. The music swells, the camera pans in, the guy who smells like safety and Sunday mornings says he βneeds to talk,β and then boom. Heartbreak, cut to black, roll credits.
You hold up a hand before he can say anything else. βWait. Justβ¦ donβt. Yet.β
Clark pauses. He blinks at you.
βLook,β you say, backing up a step, scanning the room like youβre looking for your dignity. βIf this is about how Iβve been kind of, I donβt know, evasive or inconsistent or, like, deeply emotionally unavailable, I just want to say β I know. Okay? You donβt have to do this so gently.β
His face twists. βWhat?β
βYouβre trying to break things off,β you continue, steamrolling him, your voice way too steady for the freefall happening inside your chest. βAnd I get it. I do. Youβve been pulling away for weeks, you disappear all the time, you donβt sleep anymore, you look like youβve been hit by a truck most days, which I assumed was just bad reporting hours, but who knows, maybe itβs metaphorical.β
Clark tries again. βIβm notββ
βItβs fine,β you say, voice louder now. βItβs fine if you met someone. You donβt have to pretend itβs not happening.β
βI didnβtββ
βYouβre allowed to outgrow this. Me. Whatever this is.β
Your dress is still on the floor, and you suddenly want it back on like itβs armor. You crouch to grab it, clumsy with urgency, your hands all wrong.
βI shouldβve seen it coming. You were too good to last. Guys like you donβt stick around for girls like me.β
βHey,β he says sharply, stepping forward, but you back away before he can reach you.
βDonβt,β you say, holding your dress to your chest like a shield. βDonβt be nice to me about it.β
Clark runs both hands through his hair. He looks like heβs short-circuiting. βYouβre not even letting meβIβm not trying to end this with you.β
You stare at him, lips parted.
Heβs breathing hard now. His glasses are askew. His shirtβs wrinkled, and his jaw is clenched like heβs holding something back with both hands.
βI was going to tell you something,β he says, voice raw. βSomething real. Something Iβve never told anyone who didnβt already know.β
You freeze.
Because that doesnβt sound like cheating.
That sounds like confession.
βWhat,β you whisper, suddenly breathless. βLike a dark secret? You have a kid? Youβre actually married? Are you part of a mafia? Are youβOh my God. Are you a stripper?β
βWhat?β he blurts, completely thrown.
βI donβt know, Clark!β your voice spikes, hands flying up. βWhat the hell could you possibly say right now that starts with βwe need to talkβ and isnβt a relationship guillotine?β
His eyes flick to the window. Just for a second. A glance, like instinct. And then right back to you.
And for the first time, you see it.
The quiet panic. The way his entire body is buzzing like a live wire under skin.
Like heβs not scared of you.Β Heβs scared for you.
But itβs too late. Youβve already built the wall and bricked yourself in.
You grab your dress, yanking it on with the dignity of a raccoon being evicted from a trash can. Somewhere behind you, Clark says your name again, gentle, like a bruise heβs afraid to touch. You ignore it.
Instead, you just start collecting your things like a squirrel in crisis.
Becauseβand this is humiliatingβyouβve essentially moved into his place over the last year in the slowest, most passive-aggressive way possible. Not officially. Not βhey, should we get you some keys?β But enough that the signs are there.Β
Enough that you now have to do this, which is to say the break-up equivalent of packing a go-bag in the middle of a fire drill.
You grab the mug with the faded βCentral City Gazette Student Press 2013β logo you refuse to drink out of at home because itβs chipped, but which you do drink out of here, because Clark always makes tea the right way β hot, strong, too much honey. You grab the copy of Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow you stole from his shelf three months ago and meant to pretend was yours all along. The sweatshirt he βforgotβ you left here, that you βforgotβ he noticed you wore to bed six times in a row.
You jam it all into your work tote like itβs a goddamn body bag.
Then there are the smaller things. The stupid things.
The half-used notepad from a city council meeting where someone tried to blame vigilante-induced infrastructure damage on solar panels. The disposable camera from that one weekend in Smallville β the one you never developed because the idea of seeing his parents smile at you felt too dangerous, too much like you might belong there.
And then you eye the drawer next to his bed. Your drawer, to get that clear, which was never explicitly claimed but which somehow holds one (1) pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs, two (2) half-empty bottles of lube, and three (3) protein bars, one of which is probably from last fiscal year. You shove it all into your bag, zipper groaning like a sad, sad accordion.
Clarkβs still standing near the window, looking bewildered. Like he walked into the scene five minutes late and canβt tell who started the fire.
βWaitβare you leaving? You donβt have toβjustβcan we talk? Please?β
You donβt look at him.
Instead, you gesture vaguely at your bag. βThis is just me doing a quick inventory of my terrible judgment. Donβt mind me.β
βCan you stop for two seconds and just let meββ
βClark,β you say, and your voice comes out quieter than you meant it to. βItβs okay.β
It isnβt. But youβre trying to win the emotional Olympics in the βcool and detachedβ category, and youβre not about to blow it with something as devastating as eye contact.
You sling the bag over your shoulder and pause by the door.Β
You consider saying something devastating and poetic. Something from Hamlet, maybe. Youβve always liked the line about cutting love out with a knife and it still bleeding. But instead, you give him a big, fake smile and an inexplicable hand up, like a contestant leaving Rupaul's Drag Race in disgrace.
βNo harm, no foul,β you say. βTell whoever you're seeing that I say hi.β
And then you leave.
.
You are, in every measurable way, unwell.
You donβt call it a breakup.
That would imply there was something official to break. That you were ever really together. That there was something solid under your feet to begin with, instead of months of teasing the edge, hovering over the line like two people too chicken to admit theyβd already crossed it.
So, no. Not a breakup.
Justβa recalibration. A pause. A hot minute.
You say this to Jimmy, who narrows his eyes and says, βYouβre holding a spoon like a murder weapon right now, so Iβm gonna circle back on the βhotβ part of that minute.β
You even say it to the woman at the corner bodegaβthe one who always gave Clark an extra packet of honey for his tea and once slipped you a protein bar when you looked particularly anemic on a deadline.
She glances up from restocking the gum and says, βHeβs okay? The tall guy? With the glasses and the very... polite shoulders?β
You blink. βSorry, what?β
βHe always said thank you. For the bag. Like, sincerely.β She squints at you. βYou were good together.β
You make a sound of vague agreement and exit before she asks if you want your usual. (You do. But the idea of holding a wrap in your hands right now makes your stomach lurch.)
You take your PTO. Two weeks. You donβt tell anyone where youβre going, mostly because youβre not going anywhere. You lie in bed. You eat cereal out of a mug. You watch a three-hour documentary about the collapse of a bridge in Gotham and cry when a random city engineer says, βWe tried our best, but it wasnβt enough.β
You don't let yourself think about thatβ¦ that stupid drawer by Clarkβs bed.
Or the banana bread.
Because there is banana bread.
It shows up on your doorstep the morning of Day Three, wrapped in wax paper and still warm. No note. Just a faint imprint where a palm mustβve rested on the foil, like he wasnβt sure if he should knock. You donβt bring it inside right away.
You stare at it. Then the door. Then back at the bread like it might explode.
Eventually, you take it in. Set it on the counter. Eat half of it standing over the sink with your fingers, because you donβt trust yourself to not drop it.
He texts you the next day. Just your name. Then a minute later: Just wanted to check in. Hope youβre doing okay.
You stare at the dots blinking at the bottom of the screen until they disappear.
You donβt answer.
He calls a few times, a few days later. Your phone lights up with his name, and you let it ring out. Not because youβre angryβokay, maybe you are, a littleβbut because you know the sound of his voice will wreck you. Because if he says your name in that soft, patient, Clark way, youβll crack like a fucking fault line.
He doesn't leave a voicemai any of the times l. Just hangs up.
(You spend the rest of the night clutching a throw pillow to your stomach like itβs a life raft.)
You tell yourself this is temporary. Youβll get it together tomorrow.
And then tomorrow happens.
And then the next day.
And thenβon the seventh day, like Jesus, you rise.
Kind of.
You pull on the ugliest hoodie you own, some too-large sweatpants with a questionable stain, and a pair of knockoff Crocs. Your hair is doing something that technically defies gravity, and you havenβt worn deodorant since Tuesday. Your soul is gone. Your standards are lower. All that remains is one singular thought:
Hotdog.
.
Which is how you find yourself under the flickering fluorescent lights of a 7/11 at 1:42 a.m., perched on the curb out front like a feral raccoon, holding a lukewarm hotdog in one hand and a Red Bull in the other, actively disassociating while Whitney Houstonβs I Will Always Love You plays through a tinny outdoor speaker with all the emotional resonance of a dying Roomba.
You stare off into the distance.
Which is, of course, exactly when Clark walks up.
You see him in your periphery first. Hear the crunch of gravel, the telltale weight of his sneakers.
βNo,β you say, out loud. βNo. No. Absolutely not.β
Clark stops short. βHi,β he says, voice soft. A little nervous.
You hold up the hotdog like a loaded gun. βTurn around.β
βIββ
βI swear to god, Clark.β You donβt even look at him. βI am mentally and spiritually clinging to life by the barest thread, and if you say something kind to me right now, I will vomit on the pavement.β
He nods. Raises both hands. βOkay. Not saying anything.β
You stare at him. His flannel is wrinkled. His hairβs sticking up at the back. Thereβs a scuff on his glasses like heβs been rubbing at them all day.
Goddammit. He looks like home.
You turn your burning eyes back to the pavement and try to focus on your dinner. Try to remember how this whole dignity thing works.
βWhy are you here,β you say finally, flat.
He swallows. βBecause I needed to see you. Because Iβve been calling, andββ
βRight,β you cut in. βThe calls. That I didnβt answer. On purpose.β
βI know.β
βAnd you took that as a challenge?β
Clark exhales slowly. He takes a tentative step closer.
βIβve tried everything else,β he says.
You roll your eyes. βMaybe thatβs because youβre not supposed to fix this. Maybe this is just what it is now.β
βThatβs not what I want.β
You shrug. βAnd? Sometimes we donβt get what we want. Thatβs life. Welcome.β
Heβs quiet. Long enough that you glance sideways and catch him staring at you with a look you canβt name. Doesnβt defend himself. Just stands there, quiet, while a beat-up minivan idles past the edge of the lot and the Whitney Houston outro fades into static. And youβre just about to tell him to cut it outβwhatever this whole tortured-eyes, kicked-puppy thing isβwhen he steps forward.
One arm wraps around your waist.
And thenβ
You are no longer on the ground.
You shriek like a B-movie scream queen, clutching your 7/11 hotdog in its sad foil wrapper like it might save your life. βWHAT THE FUCK,β you yell. βWHATβARE YOU KIDDING MEβWHAT IS HAPPENING.β
βIβm sorry!β Clark yells over the wind.
βARE YOUβIS THIS YOU?! ARE YOUββ
βYeah!β he shouts. βHi! Surprise!β
βSUPERMAN?!β
ββ¦Yes!β he calls back, cringing midair.
βYOUβRE SUPERMAN?!β
Clark doesnβt answer that. Justβ¦ grimaces. Flying sideways. His arm tightening around your waist like heβs half-expecting you to elbow him in the ribs and wriggle free.
You might, honestly. As soon as your brain catches up. Youβre only just vaguely aware of your Croc flying off somewhere over a used car dealership.
βMy toothbrush is still at your apartment!β you shriek.
βI know!β
βI HAVE A TOOTHBRUSH AT SUPERMANβS APARTMENT!β
βI know! Thatβs why Iβlisten, I panicked! You werenβt picking up! You blocked me on like, four platformsββ
βI BLOCKED YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GHOSTING ME FOR ANOTHER GIRL, NOT MOONLIGHTING AS A NATIONAL TREASURE.β
The wind roars past your ears. Your teeth are chattering. Youβre barely holding onto the last few shreds of coherence. And Clarkβno, Superman, apparentlyβheβs not even breaking a sweat.
βYou couldnβt have called?β you snap.
βI did!β
βWITH WHAT, MORSE CODE?β
βI showed up at your apartment!β
βWith a cape, Kent?!β
βNo! No, the capeβs newβlook, I didnβt know what else to do. You wouldnβt talk to me. Jimmy said you took PTO and havenβt left your apartment in four days and I justβI needed you to see me. To listen.β
You make an inhuman noise, somewhere between a wail and a curse. βSo your solution was to airlift me like a stolen asset out of a CIA bunker?!β
βI checked to make sure no one was looking!β
βYOU TOOK ME HOSTAGE.β
βI swept the parking lot, I swear! The cameras at 7/11 are fake, and there was one guy but he was busy dropping a Big Gulp.β
You blink at him. Wind in your eyes. A foot still bare. Thereβs an onion from your hotdog stuck to your shirt. Your heart does a slow, brutal somersault.
ββ¦Okay,β you breathe. βOkay, so this is real.β
βItβs real,β he says.
βLike, capital-R Real.β
βYeah.β
You shake your head once, sharp. βJesus Christ.β
And then something in you quiets. Something thatβs been vibrating with panic for daysβfor weeksβsputters out like the end of a bad engine. Youβre too tired to scream again. Youβre too wrung-out to cry.
So you just say, quietly: βI'm sorry. For not listening. Or giving you the time to explain. But, what the fuck, dude.β
Clark swallows. His eyes flick to your mouth, then away. He nodsβonce.
βI didnβt want to lie to you,β he says again, quieter now. βI hated it. Every second of it.β
His breath fogs slightly in the night air. He still wonβt quite meet your eyes.
βI thought I could keep it separate. You andβ¦ that part of me. I thought if I just kept my head down and made you pancakes and let you call me out when I forgot to text back, itβd be enough.β
He runs a hand through his hair, still wind-tossed from flight. βBut then it wasnβt. Because I startedβ¦ I donβt know, noticing stuff. Like the way you always get a little mean when youβre scared. Or how you never remember to lock your front door but youβll glare at me for refusing to jaywalk. And every time I had to run off and I saw the look on your faceβI wanted to tell you. I almost told you, like, like, forty darn times.β
His voice cracks a little. Heβs still not looking at you.
βI kept thinking, if I say it out loud, youβll leave. Or worseβyouβll stay, but only because you think you owe me something. Because I have the suit. Because I can lift a building. But I donβt want you to be impressed by me. I just want you to look at me the way you used to. Like Iβm justβ¦ Clark.β
He laughs, sudden and shaky. βGod, I sound insane.β
You say nothing. Youβre not breathing very well.
And then, softly, finally, like heβs pushing it out before he loses the nerve: βI love you. Not in a heroic, save-the-day kind of way. JustβI love you. I think Iβve been in love with you since you made me help you tail that councilman with the suspicious hair plugs. And you made fun of me the whole time, but you still brought snacks.β
He swallows. βI donβt need anything from you. I just wanted you to know.β
The wind whips gently around you both now, slower, softer. Like the world has dialed down to listen in.Β
Clark hovers easily in place, arms strong around you, careful and warm, like heβs afraid youβll wriggle free again and drop straight through the clouds.
Heβs flushed. Nervous. He looks like heβs trying to prepare for every possible version of the moment after this. Every soft or horrible thing you might say. Every joke you might make to dodge the weight of it. Every silence.
You lean back a little to look at him.
And then, honestly, you just kiss him.
Because itβs easier than saying the whole thing. Easier than listing every moment thatβs led to this, every reason you tried not to fall for him and did anyway.Β
The time he walked (not flew) across the city in the rain because you forgot your keys.Β
The fact that he never interrupts when youβre spiraling, just waits it out, steady and warm and right there.Β
The way he let you drag him into that adult store and joked around and made him blush with the pink handcuffs, and then he bought them for you anyway.
Β The banana bread.Β
βI love you too, you idiot.β
His whole face crumples. And then he laughs, messy and relieved and a little helpless, like he wasnβt expecting you to say it back. Like he wasnβt hoping.
βYou do?β
You nod, eyes stinging. βYeah. In every kind of way.β
And Clarkβnot Superman, Clark Kent, the worldβs most ridiculous man, the guy youβve known and kissed and run from and found againβleans in and kisses you silly again.
.
Youβre still smiling when he stumbles through your front door with you in his arms.
Not gracefully. Not like some poised, soap-opera seduction βmore like the two of you crash through the threshold like a couple of drunk fucking idiots who forgot how to use their limbs. You reach back and slap the door shut, barely catching the knob, breathless from altitude and adrenaline and everything thatβs been boiling under your skin for months.
Clark kicks over your shoe rack by accident. It topples over with a loud bang and suddenly, all your shoes are on the floor.
βSorry,β he says, half-choking on a grin, already pressing you to the wall. βIβllβclean that upβlaterββ
You cut him off with your mouth. Sloppy, desperate. Fingers tangling in his curls, tugging just to feel him gasp against you. You can feel the way he hardens close to you, and you're really, really liking where this is going.
Itβs not like you didnβt know he was strong.Β
Youβve seen his biceps. Youβve felt the hand at your back steady you when a cab came too close. Youβve watched him shoulder his way through panicked crowds, through chaos, through life, always quietly making space for you.
But this is different.
This is him holding your entire body like you weigh nothing. Like physics doesn't apply to you anymore. Like his hands were made to carry you and his mouth was made to ruin you.
βClark,β you gasp, because you donβt know what else to say. Your hoodieβs already halfway up your torso. His hands are under it, up your ribs, one squeezing your thigh like heβs staking a claim and the other splayed wide across your spine. βYouβreβfuckββ
βI know,β he pants, nosing down your throat, licking into the hollow like heβs starving for it. βI know, baby. YouβreβGod, youβre actually killing me.β
He lifts youβactually lifts youβlike youβre nothing, just sweeps you up with one arm under your ass and carries you toward the bedroom, leaving a trail of your jacket, your hotdog wrapper, and one of your slippers behind.Β
You claw at his shirt, frantic, trying to get it off. Buttons ping off somewhere near the kitchen island and you both flinch, then laugh again, dizzy with it.
He drops you on the bed and follows fast, crawling over you, shedding the remains of his flannel and undershirt like heβs being hunted for it.Β
"Fuck, fuckβtake this off," and yank off your hoodie and he groans at the sight, like the skin of your chest is some sort of a revelation, like he hasnβt had it memorized since the first time he saw you in a tank top at work and forgot what day it was.
His mouth is everywhere. On your collarbone, your shoulder, between your breasts.Β
Hot and open and eager, tongue twisting ruthlessly around your nipples. Heβs making sounds now, those broken, happy little gasps like heβs surprised every time you let him touch you again.
Youβre squirming under him, soaked and breathless, tugging at the waistband of his pants like it might save your life.
βI am gonna ruin you,β you manage to say. "Baby, let me fucking ruin you."
Clark laughs again, the kind of laugh that goes straight to your core, deep and bright and boyish, and then he flips you effortlessly onto your stomach, pushing your thighs apart with his knee, dragging his mouth down your spine like heβs tracing poetry there.
βOh yeah?β he murmurs, low and smug and reverent. βGet in line, pretty girl.β
He pushes into you with one smooth, slow thrust, so much of him, too much, your jaw goes slack, and he just stays there for a moment, his hand curled over yours, forehead pressed to the back of your shoulder.
βI love you.β
Your breath stutters.
He doesnβt give you time to recover, emotionally or physically. Doesnβt let you laugh it off or throw up your usual wall of flippant sarcasm. He kisses your shoulder again, hips moving deeper, slower.
You twist beneath him, trying to turn over because as much as you love doggy, you can't bear to not look at him right now.Β
But his hand presses gently between your shoulder blades, grounding you. βWait,β he murmurs, and you freeze. Youβre still so full of him you can barely think. βJust let meβcan I justββ
He grinds forward, pushing all eight inches of him inside, and you choke on a moan. Youβve never heard him like this. Not just desperate, not just lost in it β but open.
βI love you when youβre mean,β he pants, voice fraying around the edges. βI love you when you roll your eyes at me in meetings and mutter under your breath during interviews. I love you, God, you're so tight," another thrust. "βwhen you wear those socks with the tiny dogs on them and try to pretend youβre not soft.β
You turn your head, mouth parted, eyes wide. βClarkββ
He leans down, kisses your cheek, your temple, the place behind your ear that makes your thighs shake.
βI love you when youβre being impossible. When you steal my flannels. When you pretend you donβt care. When you kissed me for the first time and then gave me a whole spiel about it.β
βStopββ
βI love you,β he says again, brokenly this time, like itβs being torn out of him. βI love you even when Iβm scared youβll leave. Even if this is all I get.β
You turn fully this time, eyes glassy, fingers curling around the back of his neck to drag him in.
And you kiss him.
Hard.
Hungry.
Grateful.
βI love you,β you whisper against his mouth. βI love you, you wonderful, wonderful man.β
Clark lets out a sound thatβs not quite a laugh and not quite a sob.
Then he flips you under him and fucks you like itβs a promise.
You say it again when you come the second time, breathless, high-pitched, hands clutching at his shoulders, and again when he follows with a low, shuddering groan, spilling into you like heβs got nowhere else heβd rather be.
.
The car smells like spearmint gum and way, way too much coffee. Clarkβs got one hand on the wheel and the other laced through yours like itβs always been there. Which, lately, it has.
Youβre about halfway to Smallville.
βSo,β you say, tapping his knuckles with your thumb. βHow many embarrassing baby photos am I being subjected to this time? Just give me a ballpark.β
Clark chuckles. His dimples show. βOh, uhβ¦ probably all of them. Again."
You groan. βEven the corn maze one?β
βThere are multiple corn maze ones,β he corrects gently. βThereβs one where Iβm dressed as a scarecrow.β
You stare at him.
He nods solemnly. βWith face paint.β
βOh my God,β you wheeze, turning toward the window. βI donβt know if Iβm emotionally prepared for that.β
βDonβt worry,β he says, squeezing your hand. βMa loves you. You could commit tax fraud in front of her and sheβd ask if you wanted seconds.β
You snort. βThatβs very comforting.β
He shrugs, smiling again. βItβs true. She already set up the guest room.β
You blink at him.
ββ¦The guest room?β
A pause. Clark glances over. βWell, I didnβt want to assume weβdβuhβshare a bed. With my parents in the house.β
You raise a brow. βClark. We had sex in a supply closet at the Planet.β
βThat wasβokay, yesβbut that was under different circumstances.β
βWe are dating.β
βI know.β
You lean your head back against the seat, grinning. βYouβre so weird.β
βYou love it,β he mutters, cheeks pink.
You do.
God, you do. You love him.
It still sneaks up on you sometimes. The clarity of it. The quiet, persistent fact of Clark Kent: the man who once made you blueberry pancakes the morning after you nearly ran out on him, who kissed your wrist like it meant something, who neverβnot onceβlooked away. Who told you he was Superman in the middle of a 7/11 parking lot, like some fucking lunatic.
And now here you are. In his car. On the way to meet his parents.
Officially.
Not just as the girl who sleeps over sometimes. Not as the coworker who wonβt stop pretending she doesnβt care. Not as the idiot who thought she could get away with loving him and not doing anything about it.
No. Now, youβre his girlfriend.
Which means this is real. Which means youβre going to their farmhouse in Smallville. And Martha is probably going to offer you pie. And Jonathan is probably going to show you Clarkβs fifth grade spelling bee trophy like itβs the most precious thing in the world.
Which should terrify you.
(And maybe it does, a little.)
But mostlyβmostly it feels like the best thing youβve ever said yes to.
Clark clears his throat. βHey.β
You turn.
Heβs watching you with that expression again. That soft, unguarded, ruined look like he still canβt believe youβre real. Itβs so sincere it nearly undoes you.
βIβm really glad youβre coming,β he says. Quietly.
You look at him. You squeeze his hand back.
βMe too, Michigan.β
His ears go a little red. βDonβt call me that.β
βOh? I thought you liked when I objectify you by state.β
βI like it slightly less when it happens in front of a rest stop attendant while youβre holding beef jerky and winking at me. And when it's the wrong state."
You smirk. βNot my fault you were born with that jawline and a humiliation kink.β
Clark coughs through a laugh. βGod help me.β
He reaches across the console, dragging his thumb lightly over the inside of your wrist. The same spot he kissed that night. The one you think might still hum a little under your skin.
You let your head fall against his shoulder, smile tucked into your cheek.
βWake me when weβre ten minutes out?β
βYou sure?β he murmurs, already lowering the volume on the radio.
βMhm.β You close your eyes. βI gotta mentally prepare myself for the scarecrow photos.β
You feel the press of his lips against your knuckles. Gentle. Familiar.
βYouβre gonna be fine,β he says. βThey love you, you know that. I do too."
summary: clark's insatiable appetite for you rears its head at you once more
warning: SMUT! MDNI! 18+ p in v, mentions of cum eating, slight bondage? somewhat filthy ig? dirty talk, stomach bulge, breeding kink
authors note: the whore in me activated itself i swear
word count: 1.9k
taglist: @karolamurdock@mollymal@yesshewrites1
You weren't sure what's gotten into Clark's head to get him to act this way. He was fine this morning.
When you kissed him on the cheek before he rushed out the door he seemed perfectly fine. Sure, his tie was a little crooked and so were glasses but that's not beyond the norm. The way he's acting now is a complete turnaround from your Clark 10 hours ago. Your Clark was a little skittish and shy. This Clark has you bent over the bed and is pounding you from the back like his life depends on it.
His hand is placed firmly on the nape of your neck. You can't move a single muscle. All you can do is take it. And by it you meanβ βN-Nh! C-Clark! Please- Fuck- S-Slow down!β You squealed. The squelching noise you make when Clark pulls out just slightly before slamming back in has your eyes rolling back in pleasure. He has your legs trembling, pathetically trying to shift away from him. Your hands are tied behind your back. The tie you used to tie around Clark's neck now tied around your wrists.
βI- I'm sorry, baby. I can'tβ Golly, you feel amazing.β He softly whined. His hips continue to snap against yours without a single hint of mercy. His words may sound polite but there is nothing polite about him with the way he's rearranging your guts. βStay right there, baby. m'gonna treat this pussy of yours real nice.β He murmurs softly into your ear, sending a hot heat straight to your core. You can hear the hint of that Kansas accent of his slipping through.
Clark doesn't remember what started this insatiable hunger for you. Sure, he always craved for you but he could always control it. His desire for more. Maybe the sudden wave of deadlines needing to be met and articles that need to be reviewed pushed him over the edge. All that stress with no proper outlet. Now, he won't stop until every inch of your walls are covered white with him.
It's filthy. He's hitting you raw. No condom. No anything. You can feel the rough drag and pull of his cock. You're not on birth control right now and he knows this. Clark isn't the type of man to easily forget these sorts of things. βC-Clark, pleaseββ You whine but he quickly shuts you up with a harsh kiss on your lips. His fingers tangles itself in your hair, yanking you back with a sharp tug. The slight act of roughness has your walls squeezing around him. And Clark can feel every single bit of it while he nips at your neck like some feral animal. Leaving shades of blues, reds and purples all over your skin.
Your walls are squeezing him tightly. Squeezing every thick vein and curve of his dick. If he makes you arch your back just a little bit moreβ¦ βAh! Clarkβ Oh fuck! Nh~ y-you're being m-mean~β He's somehow shoving his thick length deeper into you. The tip is tapping that certain spot in you that has your eyes rolling back and jaw dropping in pleasure.
The sight alone could make Clark combust right then and there. You're so pretty like this. He can't get enough of you. Your parted lips and eyes rolled back
Β He knows he's treating you roughly. You have work tomorrow. He probably shouldn't be battering your insides but he can't help himself. Not with how tight your pussy is gripping onto him.
βm'not being mean on purpose. I swear, baby. You're just- ngh- can't help it. You're so tight. Goshβ You can barely take it.β A smile cracks onto Clark's face. The bliss he's feeling is immeasurable. If he could, he'd take a picture of your messed up state and keep it in his pocket all the time. For his eyes only of course.
His warm breath brushes along your skin. His lips peppering along your shoulders that are littered with lovebites from him. βGonna pump you full of me. Wanna fill you up to the brim. Then I'm gonna eat you out real good.β He murmurs into your skin. The image he paints in your mind has your face turning a bright red.
You squealed in surprise as Clark flips you onto your back. Your body bouncing on the mattress. His hands travel to the back of your thighs and push your knees up to your chest. The change in position has you speechless in the best way. He's deep in your pussy, making a mess out of you on the sheets. βH-Hah~ Ah~ Clarkβ¦ h-honey, you're so deep. I- I can feel it.β You whispered softly. Your throat is sore from how loud you've been crying out Clarks name.
The grin on Clark's face grows wider. His hair is a mess. There's strands of his curly hair sticking to his face because of the sweat that's dripping down his body. You've lost track of how long he's been fucking you. He came back an hour before the sunset went down. Now, the moon is high up in the sky.
Clark's gaze focuses on your stomach. His hand drifts towards the small bulge in your stomach. He's right there. βI can see how good you're taking me. You want it too, right? You want me to pump you full. I know we said that we'd wait but I really wanna come inside you, baby.β Clark softly pants. The way you're squeezing him is driving him wild. He can't even control the pace of his hips anymore.
The mix of juices cling to your thighs and slowly starts dripping down onto the bed. The sheets underneath you are soaked and most likely ruined at this point. Its fine. Clark doesn't care one bit. He could always replace the sheets. But this? The warmth of your tight pussy gripping onto his thick length? Yeah, nothing can replace this.
βPlease say yes, baby. Ah- wanna come in you. It'll feel so good- God- please please please baby.β All you can muster up is a weak whimper. His hips are slamming into yours at an inhumane pace. He rolls his hips into yours when he's flushed against yours. βY-Yes, h-hn~ please don't stop. want it- I- so big-β Your sentences are barely making senses but that's enough for Clark.
He easily parts your legs and tosses them over his broad shoulders. He's got you bent in half and spread wide open just for him. It's a miracle that you're still conscious right now. βyou're almost there baby. can feel it. you're squeezinβ so tight.β Clark gasps, towering over your smaller frame. He pulls you in for a rough kiss.
It's almost laughable how easy he takes control over you. His tongue explores every inch of your tongue like its the first time. He takes it all in. Every whimper or moan that softly escapes from your lips he swallows it right up. The bed is already starting to creak from the weight of his thrusts. Every kiss from him whisks away the air from your lungs. It's dizzying and addictive. When he pulls away, only a thin thread of saliva is what connects you.
It's hot. It's messy. It's everything Clark needed right now.
You're too deep in that pleasurable haze to even realize that Clark slipped his hand between your legs. The rough pad of his thumb harshly pressing down on your sensitive nub. The action elicits a sharp cry from your lips. Clarks name is the first thing you say. He doesn't stop with at a simple press. Noβ Clark gets addicted to the sound of you. He won't stop. Not unless he hears you say his name again just like that.
Clark watches with hazy eyes as his fingers flick, tug and press down on your sensitive nub. It's mesmerizing to himβ the way you move your body. Your tits bouncing with every harsh thrust. Hands gripping onto the headboard. It's your only form of support right now. You can't do anything while you're under him. The tightness fabric around your wrists ensures that and so does his heavy weight.
Clark is a big man after all. Standing at 6 foot too giant. He uses it to his advantage but at this point its so unfair. βc'mon babyβ¦ just one more push.β He murmurs. The strung out string in your stomach snaps and it leaves you screaming Clarks name. The neighbors probably know what you're doing by now. Hellβ The entire neighborhood might now. You wouldn't be surprised if you got a noise complaint at your door tomorrow morning.
Clark leaves you gushing. Your come rushes out of you like waves. Coating Clark's cock with a sheen layer of white. And Clark can't stop watching it. He uses his x-ray vision in the most filthiest way possible, watching as your essence spills out and covers him. He forces more of it out with small thrusts of his hips. You whine every time he does but Clark couldn't help it.
It's enough to push Clark over the edge. His cock twitching with every bit of come he pumps out. Warm ropes of his thick cut spurting out of the tip and into your cervix. Gosh does that look wonderful to him. He makes sure to bury himself even deeper. Clark isn't a wasteful man. He doesn't want a single drop to flow out from your womb. His hips stutter to a stop once he finally drags himself back down from cloud 9. Clark tilts his head back, sweat glistening on his skin with one arm on the headboard to hold him up.
βatta girl, that felt real good didn't it, hun?β His accent is a lot thicker now. Clark holds your trembling legs still, pressing a soft kiss to your knee that's resting on his shoulders. The tender action is a complete 180 from his rough pace earlier.
You legitimately thought Clark was done with the sex by now. He should've gotten it out of his system. This was the most you've done it with him. Not even those special nights where you wore fancy lingerie or did your makeup nicely riled him up this badly. What in the world happened to him? You can't help but wonder it.
Clark hisses when he finally pulls out. The mix of come he's been plugging up in you slowly leaving your bruised and battered hole. Talk about being ruthless. It drips out from you, down your inner thighs and soaks into the ruined sheets. The cold night air greets his soft cock as he kneels there in between your legs. He holds your leg in place. He's worn himself out pretty good this time.
A shaky breath of relief comes from you as you relax. Ah, you'll deal with cleaning the mess tomorrow. Now you can curl up in bed and sleep happily in Clarks armsβ Why the fuck was he shifting down the bed again?
Your eyes stare at him with surprise. Even after all that he's still not satisfied?
Clark doesn't give you the chance to speak before his lips are on your sweet cunt. He sucks your cunt harshly. His tongue dragging up your legs to savor the taste of you. The come he's pumped in and mixed in with yoursΒ is slowly leaking out into his mouth. Your back arches against the bed as another cry echoes through the room. His hands holds your hips tightly. He was still hungry for more. A little dessert before bed won't hurt anyone.
βOne more, baby. All you gotta do is lie there and look pretty for me.β
but can we talk about how each time he βleveled upβ to better relationships the girls got more and more light-skinned until in the end he found katy perry??? likeβ¦this video is high-key the visual representation of the fuckboy evolution
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