I am a McBoneHead

i just ate an evil apple

You can lie when you name things

i asked my dad who should be in the next Smash Bros and he suggested the little paper clip from microsoft word

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

someone made a terrible youtube video searching for the source of this dog picture like it's lost media and he on-screen scrolls by a live tumblr link to this post before claiming i deleted my account, pulling up a wayback machine archived page, and then lying about contacting my ex boyfriend for more information

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

can you put that thing on a leash?

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"