micheal wave

Oh, also I don't really tag content warnings, but if there's anything you'd like me to tag just go ahead and i'll be happy to!

In order to solve the ethical conundrums present in eating meat I have created the world's first ontologically evil pig

what if charlie brown was GAY and snoopy was DEAD and schroeder was BULLIED and lucy was a PYROMANIAC and linus SMOKED WEED and peppermint patty and marcie were NOT LESBIANS

so there's this exhibitionist who's only aroused by being looked at naked & who's extremely turned off by seeing other people naked. he can't solve this with a blindfold because he needs to visually witness his nudity being witnessed by others in order to get off but if anyone else whom he can see is naked, it just ruins things for him. his quest to bust and his aversion to the flesh of the Other leads him down an erotic road paved with selfish intentions until, by some stroke of misfortune, he stumbles into the home of a petty bureaucrat holding an orgy. nude but fleeing from the nudity of others, the exhibitionist streaks through narrow halls, down winding corridors, and finally escapes into the Mirror Room. and he sees himself, naked, for the very first time. two hours later when the orgy arrives at the Mirror Room they find a warm corpse on the floor with no reflection in the mirror. panic! screaming. fainting. chaos. the party's over, the police are called, somebody puts a sheet over the mirror because the lack of a reflection is upsetting people. week later the coroner is able to identify the body of the exhibitionist with reference to dental records and the cause of death is ruled to be sudden cardiac arrest. which is a relief because no one at the scene could even identify the body, everybody forgot what he looked like. no one could remember anything. a whole orgy detained for questioning. you can imagine the inconvenience. anyway, that's why we keep the dustcloth over it

Let people do drugs let people transition let people have weird freaky sex let people get stupid tattoos let people get cosmetic surgery let people eat junk food let people get their tubes tied let people jerk off let people wear ugly clothes and have outdated hairstyles let people do whatever the hell they want with their own bodies why tf do you care so much????

I am nursing a hangover because my neighbors invited me over for a dinner last night that was actually a high school graduation party for their eldest daughter but what it actually actually was was 16 Hindu families getting drunk and having a dance party in the basement teaching me, the Lone Jew, how to do Indian dances and getting me Quite Drunk while the kids watched YouTube upstairs

I think the conversation that stuck me with the most hope was this elderly Indian man and I were in deep discussion about how native plants that produce harvestables should be cultivated and commercialized. And how much of these unique fruits, vegetables, legumes, etc. get lost and when you go to the store, whether in NJ or in India, it’s the same kind of produce everywhere. And talking about how native plants wouldn’t cost as much because they’re already adapted to the ecosystems they’re in. I was telling him about my sandhill plum saplings my mom just mailed me and he was ENTHRALLED. Maybe my real life’s mission is to marry my farming upbringing with my love of native plants and… idk, start a farm/orchard specifically for native cultivars of harvestables foods. I certainly don’t have money for that lol but. Hearing someone from another part of the world also wish the same thing that I do and rail against Big Ag like I was really just. Made me so hopeful.

grinding our bulges together but mine has a higher rating on the mohs hardness scale so when we pull back yours has been ground to nothing

big fan of digging myself deeper in the hole #myhole . wait hold on. hm. maybe not on that one. post cancelled

out of my way gayboy im aboutta get it #myhole

its so dark in here.