not yet settled.

i've found, especially lately, that it requires a flexibility of the mind and psyche. some students might unintentionally demand that you engage with their humanity all the time, that you see them not just a recipient of a paid service--and, in turn, they will see you as not just a provider, but a mentor. these are always lovely interactions, always fulfilling, if you can step up to the plate of such enormous responsibility.

flipping that, other students will see you as little more than an agent of a paid service. that's where the flexibility comes in. these ones require a different approach, more detached and surgical while nonetheless respectful. with these, as well, you need to prepare for your authority in the room to be challenged on account of not being seen as Mentor, of not being given a powerful status that strengthens your position. this is usually, i'm sad but unsurprised to report, done by students who are men in their thirties.

anyone who's a teacher or looks to become one:

bruvs, i see you. the job is the job. the job drains us.

tag courtesy of @thecreativewritingstudent ! what a lovely gesture. i’ll edit the visual format a bit to my convenience; all the questions will stay the same, of course.

they are as follows:

fanfic or original? title?

first two sentences of project.

most recently written sentence of project.

favourite line(s) in project.

how close is project to its end?

there are a few of current projects in my drafts. i’ll number them. most relevant ones are about WOT, but some are completely of the left field. if interested, peruse at leisure.

ONE. PART 11 OF RAND/MOIRAINE AO3 SERIES. DEALS WITH ALCAIR DAL AFTERMATH OF 308.

№1. fanfic. working title -> “her only witness”.

№2. first two sentences:

It is thought, perhaps, that the mind is boundless and forgeable; the Brown Ajah and other bookworms would ardently argue so, yet Rand stands under the spacious open-walled tent in the vicinity of Alcair Dal, and focuses on keeping his facts accurate. Each assortment of information is a labelled crate, also categorised.

№3. most recently written sentence:

[of Moiraine’s state] ...Hunger ceases, giving way to windless silence.

№4. favourite lines:

His lips curve upwards; it’s not a kind smile. Many things to say, none of them useful. None of them fitting. He turns to Lan instead, the smile wavering, “…Rhuarc tells me you took care of the mobility issue.” Lan cranes his neck slowly, looking up at Rand. Doesn’t blink even the once, and it is much reminiscent of staring into the Blight. “I have.”

“You won’t let me in,” he says impassively, “will you?” She looks away, swallowing a sob. “I don’t know how, Lan. I don’t—” He nods again, this time to himself. “That’s okay. I can endure, even if it’s never.”

Rhuarc crosses his arms upon his broad chest, still grinning, “You look as awestricken, Rand al’Thor, as if you were facing the Creator Himself.” Rand blinks. The youthful morning sun stares him down like a fearless equal might. “Maybe I am,” he remarks.

№5. so far, two chapters planned. ch 1 stands at 9,6k words, and will probably end up anywhere from 11k to 15k. relatively close to finishing touches, but i’ve got work and uni enrolment. i write at the fastest possible pace given that.

TWO. RAND/MOIRAINE WARDER AU. DEALS WITH CIRCUMSTANCES IN WHICH THEY MIGHT BECOME BONDED. PICKS UP FROM FALME AT END OF S2.

№1. fanfic. working title -> “7”. (yes, just the number)

№2. first two sentences. written not within story chronology! still in Raw Draft stage.

“Nynaeve will have some things to say, that’s for sure.” “Are you decided, Rand?”

№3. most recently written sentence. i’ll do more than one, but they’re short and closely connected.

...She wishes she were that cruel. She should be, in fact. She must, for duty’s sake.

№4. favourite lines. MAN... sure.

When it happens, it doesn’t come with outrage or shock. There is instead an annoying little sigh from her—“Fucking finally, Rand”—as he slams her against a wall, seeing red. Her words make him press into her harder out of spite. Some things never change.

“Moiraine,” he whispers. “You’re alright. Listen for my voice. Go where I am, as I go where you are.”

“Tell me, why does my sister have such softness for you in her bronze heart?”

“Please, Rand.” That shuts him right up. “Not this. Other time.” Of course. It’s a condemnation, a statement of ruin. There will be other times.

№5. Raw Draft stage. conceptual structure has been chosen, but might be changed. at this juncture, the plan is for 7 chapters, each corresponding to a single concept. feels to be at least a 30k words deal, with scattered drafts at perhaps 5k or 10k words. basically, project nowhere yet close to its end. but steady is quick. i’ll get there.

THREE. RAND/MOIRAINE DARKFRIEND AU. TACKLES MOIRAINE AS SISTER OF BLACK AJAH WITH A PLAN TO SNATCH RAND FROM VILLAGE AND USE HIM TO FREE ISHAMAEL.

№1. fanfic. working title -> “The Heron and The Crane”.

№2. first two sentences:

“Who… who are you, my Lady?” The woman turns to regard him, and she does so slowly, as if the concept of time were of no concern to her; as if things around her moved at whatever pace she deigned to set.

№3. most recently written sentence:

It is a blessing that she isn’t beholden to the Oaths anymore.

№4. favourite lines. LOL. buckle up.

She extends hand, truly kind. Truly on the verge of tears herself. “Come with me, young shepherd,” she asks him softly. “Come with me, and none else will have to shed their blood. Only us.” “Why? Why should I trust you? You are a monster—” “If I am not mistaken, so are you.”

“This is just wrong. That was his dream, not yours.” “I don’t dream, Siuan. It’s empty and dark when I sleep.”

She leads Aldieb closer to Bela until Rand can fully face her, towering mightily. She reaches out calmly and lowers the hand which threatens suicide, grabbing him firmly by the wrist. He shakes all over like a fever had taken him, but it is no problem. She can be stoic for the both of them. She can, and always she could, yet her touch lingers on him longer than necessity dictates.

№5. Raw Draft stage. i know how things begin, roughly understand which characters are to be be featured, and can defend Moiraine’s motivations for joining the Shadow. the nature of where the story ends, however, is obscured. this is meant as a shapeless thought experiment anyway, so when i do begin publishing it, i might as well possess no idea and discover as i go along. probably looking at between 30k and 50k.

i’ll stop here, methinks. i’ve got original scripts and drafts galore i haven’t even mentioned here, since i do not mean to dump and bore. some of them are serious and do date back decades.

there are other WOT ideas, though, that are no less important to me. i’ll list them off:

STUDY OF 304 VISIONS THROUGH PROSE (i will purposely not explain)

RAND/MOIRAINE DISABILITY AU (Rand has one. it is a fixture. no One Power cure because i am not ableist)

RAND/MOIRAINE + LAN AIEL AU (vaguely, Mo & Lan stumble upon an Aiel-raised Rand, and he follows them around because Moiraine suddenly has his toh)

RAND/MOIRAINE DURING OR POST- TARMON GAI’DON (vague idea, will execute once i’m comfortable enough with lore)

MODERN-ISH TRANS!RAND AU + MOIRAINE, SIUAN AS BONUS (don’t fucking ask)

i’ve also got a fic idea of One Fandom within WOT settings. crossover, plainly. Yellowjackets, if anyone’s aware. shan’t say no more.

thank you so much, @thecreativewritingstudent !!! if not for you, i would probably never have posted these lil drafts. i’m usually silent and secretive with them until the very publication. you have been very generous and kind in your response to my writing. you honour me.

PRESSURE TAGS. RESPOND OR EXPLODE UNDER MIGRATORY PRESSURE!!!

@valkyrie-in-yellow-coat (broooo i’ll be so interested...)

@unlockthelore (dude!!! i been crazy busy but i appreciate you ok, i’ll be waiting on your post if you decide to participate!!!)

...but you will not make your way back. there is no changing things now!

i forgive you.