Happy Singles Day :)
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Happy Singles Day :)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Everything I see online just wants me to cut myself deeply.. I just want to die so damn much..
But no matter how much I say that or how often I explain that to someone nobody cares..
I could just die and nobody cares.. Nobody notices it.. Why canโt I just die? Itโs not easy to kill myself.. I already tried that a month ago or somewhen..
But I really canโt do it anymore and just want to die.. I want to cut myself so deeply and to punish myself.. I want to punish myself for not being good enough for anyone..
Iโm so fucking sorry that Iโm never good enough.. I could cry and break enough so much times but nobody would care if they would see my fucking weak tears.. ๐
Being a bit drunk without drinking to much to get a headache the next day or forget what happend is just the best ๐
Like idk why but you drink and everything is funny or I just get kinda sleepy lol
I drink just at home anyways so Iโm fine and feel comfortable and safe without worrying that something happens if I still would be outside alone :)
Pictures of the walk today in the sunset and autumn evening ๐๐๐
Todays pictures when I spended time with my father ^^
(Last two pics are a bit edited in the pictures app bc it wasnโt much to see and to bright)

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I hate everything.. I hate this place here.. I hate everyone who hurted me and still makes me suffer now.. I hate myself.. I still feel so ugly and fat even if I already lost weight so much..
Why canโt I just die..? I want nothing else than to leave this fucking place.. I want to die.. to hurt myself.. because I deserve it so much.. because I hate myself so much.. because I deserve to get punished..
Itโs all my fault.. I should just end it.. I donโt even want to continue.. I have no energy either.. Iโm just so tired, mentally and emotionally but also physially I feel like I canโt do it further anymore..
Todays sunset was so amazing ๐คฉ
Wasnโt going for a walk for so long.. ๐ซ
Todays pictures from the walk โจ๐ Itโs sunny and nice weather and also beautiful flowers ๐ธ๐ฉท
I feel bad. I feel like everything is to much.. It builds up every day a little more till somewhen I feel like freaking out..
I canโt do this anymore.. Thatโs what I thought very much but still continue and survive in this shitty life I have right now..
Why am I continuing? For what? Iโm donโt have to do anything for anyone.. I donโt owe anything to anyone.. Why am I continuing then?
Am I doing this to not leave the ones who are still there and important to me? Just for my family? For them that they wonโt be alone..?
Or am I doing this for my father who lives alone now? Am I staying alive for him that he wonโt be completely lonely?
Maybe Iโm just afraid that if I leave this world that my parents hate each other.. and give each other the guilt for that.. I donโt want that to happen..
But I donโt owe anyone anything, right? Why am I thinking about the others then if itโs my life? If I can decide what to do with it..
Why didnโt I just left already? Why am I not dead already..? If I already wished that for so long.. If I already tried so much but it wasnโt enough..
Why? Why am I doing this to myself? Just to suffer more here? Why canโt I just be dead already? Why is it so hard to stay but also so hard to leave..?
Today Iโm here at this place again where I used to hangout with my best friend.. I miss her still but this place is so nice and calm ๐

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Today on the walk in the hot weather with the sun โ๏ธ
Today at the park in hot weather ๐๏ธโ๏ธ
โก โงโห โ เฑจเง โงโ .แ ๏ฝก โยฐเผบโค๏ธเผปยฐโ ๏ฝกโก โงโห โ เฑจเง โงโ .แ
Happy Easter! ๐ฐ๐ฃ
โก โงโห โ เฑจเง โงโ .แ ๏ฝก โยฐเผบโค๏ธเผปยฐโ ๏ฝกโก โงโห โ เฑจเง โงโ .แ
From the walk yesterday in sunset ๐๐ฉต๐
๐ชถ๐ค

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So viele schรถne Bilder von heute! Der Spaziergang drauรen in dem schรถnen Wetter war wirklich schรถn ๐๏ธ๐
Der Sonnenuntergang von heute Morgen war sehr schรถn ๐๐งก