what the fuck dude that’s an evil thing for a mushroom to do
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@lzzydean
what the fuck dude that’s an evil thing for a mushroom to do

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I love when people who aren't from Arizona try to draw/paint/model cacti, especially saguaros because god. It's always so bad. Look at this.
All due respect Mr. Joy of Painting but that saguaro is ILL. That thing is on death's door. At LEAST 175 years old. He describes it as a big one that got a lot of sun and nourishment and like no I don't think it did!! I think it's fucking dead, dude!!! They only look that skinny when they're about to DIE.
A healthy full grown saguaro below for reference.
I'm gonna be so for real Bob, idk what you painted, but it wasn't a big and nourished saguaro.
My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.
Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.
"Nah, I need a real woman." Is all Ghost has to say about the group of objectively hot, young women at the bar. The type that wants to fuck a soldier or even looks for a husband. The type that thinks they want a dominant man but they only read 50 shades and play the tradwife but never commit to either of it. Looking for the dark romance type of shit where the guy is cruel but never with them. The type that plays games.
"You daft? What do you mean 'a real woman'?" Soap stares at him. The Scot knows that Ghost had fun with pretty things like this before.
"You know. A woman who knows that it's not always good times. Who knows hard work and understands. Getting tired of just a few weeks or months. I need more... More substance."
Soap still stares at him. "Are you saying you are looking for long term? Are you for real?"
"Positive. Sure, we might not come back the next time. But we might come back more damaged than medical can fix. And then? Would be nice to have something to return to?"
His eyes are searching the room and land on you, one of the local gardeners that tend to the vegetation on base. He has seen you haul bags of soil and equipment, knows you work out at the gym after work. Since you are allowed to work on base you have had basic background checks already. And he knows you also work in a small flower shop on occasions. He knows that because you brought flowers for Price when you heard about his baby's birthday the other week. The flowers were for his wife. "People always forget to congratulate the parents for taking such good care of their kids. So these are for the mother. And don't worry, I won't mind if you pretend it was your idea, captain, I know you have been busy."
At first Ghost was alarmed that you knew so much but when he followed you around he realized it was just the way you interacted with people. You talked to them, about mundane things, as if they were just normal people. And you never asked about missions. You even avoided looking at any file on a desk, strictly focusing on the plants.
And maybe you are not pretty with your messy hair and dirty hands, crooked teeth and big ass. You don't have to. You know who you are and what you do. You don't need to find a man to validate you. And considering you sit with some soldiers and other base personnel at a table, laughing and drinking, you know how to have a social life. Still, it doesn't explain why he is drawn to you. Maybe it is the way you never shy away from his presence. Or because you remembered his allergies and plant flowers under his window that don't trigger it. Or because you snort at his jokes, even when you are not part of the conversation and just in proximity.
Or maybe it is the way you suddenly stand before him, a small grin on your face. "Oi, big boy. If ya keep starin, you'll be buying the next round. Or ask me out for a proper date."
Soap is snickering next to him but Ghost knows an opportunity when he sees it.
"Tomorrow, 8 pm, pick you up from your shop. Wear whatever you want." He ignores the choked laughter from Soap, and also that Gaz is handing a bill over. All he needs to see is the surprised look on your face and then something that could be hope and the beautiful rose tint your cheeks are suddenly showing.
"Alright. But not the pub or any other place you'd go with your boys. When I say proper date, I mean it."
"Yea ma'am."
You seem satisfied and continue to the bar. When you pass him on the way back, you slip him your number. "Just in case the world needs you more."
This time Soap hands money to Gaz.
Later Ghost finds out they were betting on you, not him. Apparently you had been eyeing Ghost for quite some time.
~~~~~~~~
Edit: I wrote this for myself, but I also wrote this for my gorgeous "ugly" girls out there. Don't let your teeth or double chin or curves that are definitely not in all the right places hold you back. We are so much more than our looks.
rip to the guy who posted his very expensive yixing teapot to r/tea, only for the comments to be not compliments on his taste as he expected, but instead GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY and I SHOULD CALL HER. he then crossposted it to r/gongfutea, which is ordinarily more dignified and self-serious, but was it? was it?? of course not, because this is reddit, and this was the teapot

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Women’s cloth boots with phoenixes, peonies and lotuses | Kangxi period, 1662 - 1722 (x)
I mean, I do like spiders
what?
Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.
is there a reason for women to be over 5'7"?
You're asking dangerous questions for a place where the lesbians can hear you.

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An older relative of mine was complaining about how her hair looks now that it’s greying and I had to hold back myself from telling her that the long grey hair look would make her very popular with some lesbians that I know because she’s not the sort of person who would take that as a compliment
Because Tumblr is very English speaking and some ppl like France a little too much I just want to remind you of a few things:
- France abolished the Code Noir 2 months ago. That law project that said hey you can enslave, mutilate, kill, cross breed, etc. black people at will bc they're not people they're property ? Yeah. Abolished 2 months ago. We are in July 2026.
- the last human zoo closed its doors in 1994 in France due to social pressure. Not bc they were running out of business, no. Ppl still visited that place until it closed its doors. No, it was bc (black) French people were fed up. That human zoo was specialized in displaying black (presumed Congolese) people in fake huts in enclosures, for white entertainment.
- now while this might no longer be the case, when I was growing up, I went to a French school (as in. It was an international French School w the French flag n all) and the way we were taught French geography was that France has the biggest and largest access to the sea in the world. And they'd show us a map of France and its colonies around the world. It's all occupied indigenous lands. I don't know if they still teach that. I hope not. But they absolutely did until I graduated high school in 2017. Again, I write this on July 21st 2026, for the record.
Anyways that's all I have for now. Y'all don't hate France enough. Y'all need to hate France more.
new top contender
Suit
c. 1947
Black and white wool gingham skirt suit. Jacket with padded shoulders and insertions on right torso and sleeve. Four sizes of check fabric used in jacket.
by Adrian Ltd., Los Angeles
Drexel University
can't stop thinking about waking up in the middle of the night from a bad dream just to feel your lovers arms wrapped firmly around you, cradling you as you sleep. the contentment on their face as they hold you tight is enough to start relaxing you and you snuggle in closer. the movement stirs them a little and they pull you in tighter, their arms wrapping around you like a vice now. they try their best to protect you, to ward off all the negativity or harm intended your way, but they know they can only do so much when it's your own mind playing tricks on you. so they tuck your head against their chest, your cheek pressed directly above where their heartbeat begins to thrum melodically in your ear - the soothing rhythm reminding you that they're there with you. eventually, it's the reassurance and the soft coos of their gentle loving that eases you back into your slumber, all whilst remaining in the safe haven of their embrace.

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𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 loves taking care of you. he loves making you feel safe and protected and loved. but his brain goes absolutely haywire whenever you try to take care of him. he’s not used to being shown such love and care, or being made to feel like he needs that kind of affection too. he doesn’t want to depend on others, doesn’t want to be seen as weak for craving that, but he does… and only with you. you make him feel weak in the best way possible, with your gentle touch and kind heart. you make him want to break down those barriers and let you in — let you see the real him beneath the mask.
"Is squirt pee" brother who CARESSSSSS. Worst case scenario u made a woman feel so good she pissed herself how is that a net negative to your image