This is what being over 25 on this website feels like

Top Ten Reasons You Should Hire Me Despite My Disillusionment With Reality And My Subsequent Hatred For The System

Anyway. Love is the point.

I can’t get over this because the cat fucking loves this wiggling saxophone flower. it must make a motorized noise/vibration that the cat enjoys, because she’s in heaven. she’s clinging to the damn thing and making kissy eyes like it’s her best friend in the universe.

This is my new favorite thing now

a big part of growing up is wanting to gather every person you’ve ever been mean to and say “I’m sorry!! It wasn’t worth it!! It wasn’t worth being mean!!! I’m sorry!!!” but you can’t, so just be kind from now on

Women be treating themselves to special groceries and cheeses when they can financially

tbh i only fuck with mean bitches bc if someone talk to you crazy your mean friend will have your back no questions asked. a nice bitch will let other ppl dog you out nd won't say a word bc they're ~too nice uwu~ ppl who make their defining character trait how 'soft' they are make the worst friends bc they're too busy wanting to be liked by everyone to actually be loyal

this isn't a joke post either like i literally hate you wimpy bitches that won't shut up abt how nice nd sweet you are while making your friends fight your battles nd never EVER attempting to stand up for them. you don't have to throw bricks thru windows but y'all will really watch injustice go down nd will act like you can't see it bc you don't want to step on toes. that quite literally disgusts me

can they like release new vegetables 

there’s a decent amt of neurologists who’ve called the sleep schedules we’re obligated to be on despite flagrant conflict with our natural circadian rhythms “borderline torture” and the work hours we’re expected to put in despite the fact that the average person can only maintain maximal efficiency and focus for 3 hours at a time “nearly inhumane” and i think about that a lot

Makes me feel better about not tolerating it well

those westerns finally make sense now. it’s like honey i’m going into town. i’ll pick up sugar, flour, beans, salt pork, bullets, and kerosene. do you want a bolt of calico? some maple syrup? i’m taking the wagon i’ll be back in three days