there’s so many reasons for someone not to want to come out atm. whether it be because they know they’ll face discrimination from their family/friends/coworkers/roommate etc, whether theyre still struggling to label themselves/struggling to understand themselves and don’t want to come out until they’re sure, they just don’t see the big deal about coming out rn and don’t want to worry about the stress that will come with it, etc it’s all valid. everyone is allowed all the time to stay closeted that they need.

and tbh im real fucking tired of people feeling like because they also faced the same anxiety/same issue when coming out and they “made it through” everyone else has to do the same thing or as if they know exactly how it will turn out...like every coming out is personal and unique and it’s not your job to decide someone else’s experience

and let’s be real honest! not every relationship is going to last, esp if you’re young and first trying to come out. and forcing/pressuring your partner to come out because you don’t want to “be treated like a secret” only for y’all to break up later on is awful. like they’re whole experience in regards to coming out will be focused on your relationship instead of on themselves and what being out will mean to them.

stories about an out lgbt person giving their closeted partner an ultimatum and making their partner decide between remaining closeted or remaining in the relationship and then “oh their anxieties were completely unfounded and the ppl they thought were gonna be homophobic weren’t so it’s all ok” aren’t romantic or okay and it’s not something we should perpetuate.