Love&Lust

Disclaimer All men are not the same. The goal is to avoid the trashy ones. As a reminder to my ladies “MEN KNOW BETTER “ and I want you to never forget that .Women are not innocent either but the goal is to shed light on what we are facing in the dating world . I will let the men discuss among themselves what they face with the women while I speak to my ladies about our experiences.

There is a new wave of men who believe that women should do the work in pursuing them and they are the same ones who turn around and call you thirsty, clingy and claim that you are a hoe.

I. No Action:Sadly men do not walk up to women anymore . I can’t tell you how many times I am out and I see that a guy is attracted to me and he doesn’t make a move. Even when I smile and try to show him that I’m interested he still doesn’t say anything. Even when I make the first move to engage in conversation with him he doesn’t ask for my phone number and and I’m not gonna ask him for his because it’s not my job to do that. As a woman we should let the men know that we are open to them and interested but they have to make the move. I think it might be a side effect of online dating because that is less intimidating and they may feel like they have more options.

2. Not Serious: I had a conversation with a guy the other day where he let me know that a large percentage of men were single and childless and that this was a result of feminism and women rejecting them. Like I said before they are not approaching us which is the 1st step. As a woman who myself who is traditional and wanting to be in a relationship I find that this is absolutely not true. A lot of Men want women to participate in casual encounters with no commitment and if you are smart enough to see through that ,they find someone who is willing to accept it . Which is fine but don’t blame it on women.

3. Unqualified: Men do not take the time out to become desirable to women and they claim that a man must be incredibly handsome to be taken seriously. The truth is that a man who is in shape is usually disciplined in other areas of his life that’s what the women are attracted to . When we see you take care of yourself we feel like you can take care of us. It is ok for a man to choose based on how a woman looks right? News flash !women have eyes too.Someone once told me “If you don’t like your life.Change it”.That is so true. Men feel rejected when women choose more accomplished men but what they do not recognize is, that is part of the requirement for supporting a family . Even if you do not have it all together , If you are hardworking and have a vision, then a woman can work with you to build ,but that in itself is a privilege and not an obligation. They are unfocused on the self development needed to be with a woman and would rather use other means to get their needs met .

4. Uninterested

One thing I keep noticing is that a lot of men are saying that they don’t want anything serious or they want something casual. They want to see where things go or they are just not sure. The funny thing is that these are 30,40 and 50 year old men. At that age they still haven’t developed. They are not marriage minded and will waste women’s time. It’s not all their fault because most women have not developed themselves in order to recognize and respond accordingly to these kind of men.If you don’t want to be in a relationship with a woman but you still want her to bring her value to your life , that is robbing her from finding a man that does . I know it takes two to tango but as the one who should be leading the dance;we are going to need some more accountability.

5. Unavailable: This is the most unfortunate one of all . There are some men who are in a relationship or married and instead of doing what they need to do to support their current woman they try to disturb your peaceful, drama free, single life. Back in the day they used to lie about it but now they are so bare faced that it’s embarrassing. I have had several men do this where they show me pictures of their wife or whoever they are shacking up with and I’m here thinking I’m rooting for you and your beautiful family only for him to turn around and try to smash. Women are being made a fool of by these men with no integrity and no character and I must encourage my women in this moment to have each other’s backs . Respect another queens relationship and even the lack there of. I know you don’t owe her anything and you don’t know her but your also respecting yourself on the highest level when you don’t make yourself available to unavailable men.

You want to listen to a man carefully and strategically almost like you are playing a game of chess. Why? Because as a woman, the way that you are wired, leans more towards your emotions and not your logical thinking. Men know this and they understand that all they have to do is to get you out of your  head and in your feelings. I have tested this theory many times, so you can trust that this is not just a hypothesis but a proven fact.

Don’t listen to a man with your heart or with your ears, Listen to a man with your head and your soul because those are the parts of you that will always tell the truth.If you listen with your heart, what you feel for him will take precedence over his actual words, If you listen with your ears he will tickle them with sweet nothings. If you listen with your head, you will be able to think it through and make an informed decision and if you if you listen with your soul, you feel intuitively when something is off.

Him: I can't believe that you are single.

Her : Because men don't want relationships these days.What about you why are you single?

Him: I'm not rushing.

Her:Rushing what exactly. A relationship or a marriage.They are two different things. If that's the case why are you talking to me?

Him: Doesn't respond.