#relationship quote

"You cannot keep building a relationship out of their potential while you're slowing losing yourself in the process."

That is 100% true. It is easy for us to see potential as a fun little "project" where we can aid in the development of the other person in our lives. This, however, is very unfair to us and to that other person as well.

How is it unfair to us? We give more and more to our "project" while neglecting our needs and our own growth and development.

It is unfair to the other person in that they don't get to live their growth process for themselves. If you are always there guiding and directing them to what you feel is best for them, they will never find their way. If they do seem to find their way in what you have led them to, they likely won't feel very secure in that place.

As for waiting on someone to become that source of love that you need to feel seen, it is best to move on along.

you’ve never had?

Reach for it,

and realize it was never there?

Can you grieve something

you’ve never lost?

I believe so.

There is a well

of sadness

that lives within me.

A hunger so deep

it tastes like despair.

Tears fall

for something

that could have been.

Something broke me

long ago,

and left behind a

wretched thing.

So now

I wander the earth,

weeping at the tombstones

of my potential.

Searching everywhere

for the girl

I might have been.

I reach for her—

phantom limbs

despite

despite

despite

that she never existed.

-“Phantom Limb”

I think my heart will give out.

Perhaps not in a dramatic

hand to the chest,

final keel-over

kind of way.

But quietly.

I think we will come to an understanding.

I have shared her,

sewn her,

hummed to her

when she beat too hard.

She trusts me

to take care of her

and tells me when

it’s too much.

One day, for her,

perhaps I’ll disappear.

She beats much quieter,

much slower,

in our intimate solitude.

Perhaps there is where I’ll lay her to rest.

I’ll carry her gently

to the arms of death

For all the times

"Affection is created by habit, community of interests, convenience and the desire of companionship. It is a comfort rather than an exhilaration." -W. Somerset.

for looking upon the world

with eager, wondering eyes.

You call me silly

for pausing at every flower,

every winged creature

every passing cloud.

But you don’t understand.

I do not look in awe,

I look in desperation.

To cling to what is tender and alive

is the only way I keep from ruin.

The coffee I cradle each morning,

the stillness I guard in a frantic world,

the stars I wait for in the cold night air.

These are not trifles.

They are lifelines.

Only those who have lived in the dark

know the weight of its pull,

how easy it would be to surrender,

to allow bitterness to take root.

But each night,

the stars arrive faithfully.

Each spring,

the flowers bloom again.

The butterflies still dance

as though the world is worth it.

In their quiet teachings,

I remember why I endure.

And so, even broken,

I echo them.

I want to live.

I want to live.

along the slope of my back,

your lips arrive softly

in the hollow of my shoulder.

Your eyes hold a promise of harbor,

your voice the tide that steadies me.

Even the stars ache for

the tenderness in your cradle;

Even the sun has never learned

to warm with such careful mercy.

“Five more minutes,” I whisper,

clutching your phantom skin.

“Do not wake me from being loved.”

(I don’t remember you come morning. But the ache lingers.)

I thought of hurting you back.

To rip the knife from my ribs

And thrust it into you.

To watch you bleed as I bled,

To see your tears drip down

Mirroring my own.

I wanted to carve my name

Into your heart as a wound.

But I can’t.

The knife stays embedded

In my chest.

Your heart is unscarred,

While mine bleeds your name

In a pattern I cannot unlearn.

Despite my lament, this is true:

I only ever knew how to love you.