Lusting For Chocolate

how tf do you get over something that will never leave you and that you can't even make sense of to begin with??????

i am very seriously considering swallowing every pill i can find (a lot) and then drowning myself in alcohol tbh

i just want to die. i'll never be happy. i'm unlovable and worthless. i don't deserve anything. i've never been in a low this bad before. i want it to end. i can't do it anymore. there's no point to my life. i'll never get anywhere. i'm a failure. i'll never make anyone happy. i'll never be enough. i'll never get better. i just want to die.

i had a plan and i can't even do it now bc then that's selfish and i hate myself and everything and i just want out forever. i'm so fucking miserable and that's the only way things can be better for me and especially for everyone else.

i was gonna write a super long post on how i ~really~ feel but it's like every time i try and turn my thoughts into words, i can't even string half a sentence together without breaking down. i am so lost