bluhahe

this was the first thing i experienced after waking up today and i havent been able to stop thining about it since 

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

how about you stop eating po’ boys with the low boys and start eating broccoli and beef with the commander in chief

uh oohhh forgot to wipe down the cutting board from last night before cutting up strawberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries #onionberries

one glass of moscato got my little boner perking up Arf arf what do you smell boy

i apologize

fuck you (runs your cast iron pan through a dishwasher cycle)

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it