i saw this tik tok and thought “yes, let me hurt myself more” and wrote it out.
Remus checked his watch as he finished his rounds.
It was late and Merlin was he tired.
Being back at Hogwarts pained him more than he thought it would’ve.
Seeing Harry hurt more than it should’ve.
He walked back to his classroom, walking through the hall where James’ seeker award was displayed on a plaque.
He stopped to stare, he always did.
“First years aren’t allowed to play James” Remus chuckled as James was eager to try out.
“Then I'll be pretty famous when I make the team, won't I? Youngest Chaser in a century! That's what they'll call me," he said smugly.
“Your ego needs deflating” he rolled his eyes.
“Stop it” Remus said out loud. Not allowing his brain to go further.
He knew where it led… to who it led.
He sighed before walking away, his hands in his pockets.
He opened the door to his classroom, walking in and closing it behind him.
From the corner of his eye he saw someone staring out the window.
Great, he said to himself.
He sighed, “Miss it’s after curfew. You shouldn’t-“
She turned around, facing Remus.
“Be here” he said breathlessly.
“Remus?” Lily asked, walking quickly toward him and wrapping him in a tight hug. “Oh, God, Remus” she cried. “I have no idea what I’m doing here- you” she held his face. “What year is it?” she chuckled, staring at his aged face.
“1993. October” he stared into her. “What year- when did you come from?”
“October, 1981” she caressed his face.
They’re going to die in a week.
“Wow-“ she breathed out, “this is so cool! I mean time travel” she chuckled.
“You first! I mean you’re a professor at Hogwarts-”
“Lily- we need to talk to Dumbledore” he shook his head. “You can’t be here”
“Remus,” she had a smile on her face, “time travel!!!” she said excitedly. “Things must get better, I knew they would-”
“Lily- do you not understand the danger of-”
“I don’t care about that right now Remus! Look at you,” she smiled fondly, admiring him. “You’re doing what you’ve always dreamed of” she hugged him again. “Hope paid off” she whispered.
“You guys should leave” Remus stared into his tea.
“Remus-“ Lily tried to interfere, leaning against the counter.
“Lily” he looked up, shaking his head. “It’s bad Lils. I’m not making any progress with the packs and he’s gaining supporters every minute.”
“More like every other day but- sorry” James tried to say from the opposite end of the table before Remus gave him a sharp look.
Sirius walked into the kitchen, rolling his eyes as he noticed the tension.
“Who pissed in Moony’s tea this morning” he walked to the fridge.
“It will not end well” Remus sipped his tea, ignoring Sirius. “It won’t, I know it won’t” he shook his head.
“Yes it will. We’ll win-“ Lily tried to say.
“You guys are already practically hiding- leave the country it’s not different-“
“We’ll win Remus. And then we’ll be able to take Harry to the park, eat dinner that James didn’t burn-“ she laughed. “We’ll live Remus, all of us. There is no other way this ends. We’ll live and we’ll get our lives back and everything will be normal.”
“You don’t know that” he muttered.
“What?” she asked, not being able to hear him.
“You don’t fucking know that Lily!” he stood up, the chair screeching on the floor.
“Remus-” James stood up, but couldn’t finish his sentence.
“You don’t see the power fear has- the power he has. He controls everything now don’t you understand? It’s only time before-”
“I have hope. Hope will pay off.”
“That is the stupidest fucking shit I’ve ever heard” he walked out of the kitchen.
He nodded into her shoulder, “yeah… hope paid off” he whispered.
He knew. He knew. He knew.
So why was it that the words were at the tip of his tongue.
Sirius was the spy. Tell the order he will betray you. He will kill you-
“I know you can’t tell me much but- I have to know” she looked back at him, letting him go. “I mean you know the future! How often does this happen? I just have to know.”
“Lils-” he put his hands in his pockets.
“Just- you can just blink or something but- James, he’s the one? I mean, we haven’t divorced yet or anything? I know he’s the one for me” she chuckled. “I haven’t bored him to death? I see him with Harry and I think ‘yeah, this is it’ and I can’t wait for the next one” she smiled. “And all I want is to grow old together, tell me Remus,” she smiled, “we’ll grow old together?”
Remus took a small breath in as he frowned slowly, trying to hide it with a smile as his eyes betrayed him.
He shifted his head to the left as the corner of his mouth lifted and his eyebrows furrowed softly.
He looked down and nodded.
Please don’t cry. Please don’t cry. he told himself.
“You’re going to love each other until the day you die” he smiled, looking back up at her.
Lily had a huge smile on her face, blushing as she looked down at the floor.
“Maybe I don’t need more than that” she smiled.
Remus nodded with a soft smile, looking back up at her.
It was dark, she couldn’t possibly see his eyes watering.
She brought him in for a hug, “I love you Remus” she held tight.
“I love you Lily” he said breathlessly. “I love you and I should’ve said it more- I’m sorry I’m so so-”
“Remus” she shook her head. “You said it enough” she kissed his cheek.
“I didn’t” he shook his head.
“You did Remus” she looked at him. “If you hadn’t I wouldn’t have asked you to be the godfather” she chuckled. “Well- I haven’t asked you- past you yet but,” she shrugged, “you get the point” she smiled. “Time travel is so tricky” she chuckled.
“I-” he shook his head slowly.
Remus brought her in for another hug, holding her tightly.
I didn’t know you were pregnant.
“Thank you” he whispered. “For seeing the best in me.”
Lily rubbed his back, “I love you.”
Remus fell to his knees as Lily faded from his grasp, staring at the floor and letting tears cover his cheeks.
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