luna ✨

My Own Hostage [ 1 bit / 2 colors Collection ]

*learns that Trevor Moore died in 2021*

You gotta do the thing. Constantly. Turn on your poster brain. What? You were mostly offline in the early 2000s and 2010s so you don't have a large social media following already? You transitioned and don't want to be associated with your dead name anymore? Gotta learn how to get posts that are good! Gotta learn how to build a following!

Don't worry, it's easy.

Be authentic, but not too authentic! Post funny shit. No that's too much funny shit. This is a serious moment. You have to engage with people, talk to them! Don't spend too much time online. Don't touch that discourse, it's too toxic. Don't miss this discourse, you'll look like you don't care. Don't ask people to follow you. It makes you look fake. Occasionally ask people to follow you though, to make sure they remember to do so.

You need your post to get shared. No one shares posts anymore. If your posts aren't getting shared, it's because you're bad at posting. Oh no your post went viral. Now everyone remembers you for that thing you posted and not the book you wrote.

Follow me? No, too inauthentic. Follow me to see more of my books? No, too mercenary. Follow me so I can make enough money to live? Woah, no, too honest. But don't lie. Be yourself. Except not like that. ButtMunch420 got 100,000 followers! They say write what you want and you'll get there! They start at the beginning of the self-publishing boom. They got into this genre when it was small but had a large readership. They are the living manifestation of survivorship bias.

You want advice? It costs 149 a month. The advice will be two years outdated because if you could make money following that advice, they'd still be following that advice. Don't follow advice. Just figure it out. Did you try being yourself? Oh wait, I saw you did. Maybe try being like ButtMunch420. They got a hundred thousand followers. They said be yourself. Be yourself if yourself is like them.

You want to write what? There's no way to get people to read that. You better have a big following. No one wants to see you talk about that. Maybe if you write a book they will.

You're tired?

Post through it.

Monetize your pain.

Don't turn it off.

Post through it.

You're tired?

Me too.

Share this post and follow me if you want me to still eat. Share this post and follow me if you want my books. Share this post and follow me if you want me. Share this post so others follow me. Share my book. If it's good enough. Is the book good enough? Is the post good enough?

Am I good enough?

Did I post well enough yet? It's the popularity contest where if you lose, you starve. Am I popular enough? Did you read my book? I'm talking about my book too much. I'll stop talking about my book.

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")