special needs

Right now, I want to disappear.

But I actually feel better right now, for some reason :)

It hurts and I lost all my powers to do anything. I am practically losing any will to live right now. Disease makes me weak and pitiful. I hate myself right now because of how weak I am.

So this is actually the last selfie from my first place of work. Thanks to our absolutely idiotic government that thinks that ignoring healthcare system is the best way out, not only I have to pay for some really expensive medication by myself (though I am a university student and one of my parents is unemployed, luckily my family could manage with paying for my treatment since I had my income), I lost my job now. I am not sad, but I just can't notice the fact that my country robbed me of a good healing and now of my great workplace. You see, I was working in a pharmaceutical company up until now and its sales here depend on how much drugs our country will buy. But new 'anti-sanction' policies have made it impossible for most of the people with a rare disease (for which the company provides the treatment) get some proper drugs. Instead, they're going to be stuffed up with some generic drug which came out of nowhere (like, really, I am not sure if these are okay to consume, since they just appeared one day made by companies I've never heard about). And our company gets nothing. So about 1/3 of my colleagues lost their jobs, me included. For me it was just a part-time job, but for these people it was a big part of their lives for a long time now. My boss, she's a great person and a professional. But since she's 62 now, it would be almost impossible for her to find a new job now here. Thanks, Mother Russia. Thanks for all this fucking care we get here.