itsa me a lubruhs

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

At least on 'the price is right' you know (because someone *actually told you*) that you are playing a guessing game and that there is an over/under mechanic and that the conquence of guessing wrong isn't a punishment or damaged relationship or getting fired

On an unrelated note my psychiatrist has given me a referal for a formal ASD evaluation

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

What is and isn't considered sexually transgressive is an arbitrary standard. If you really think about it, "kinks" are dictated by cultural norms, which in turn are influenced by hegemonic power. So you see, it would be impossible for the princess to be a pervert

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.