loyal man whore

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lesbian porn should kill men if they try to watch it like the ring

me but with root beer (this is a common occurrence specifically with root beer)

i have root beer tonight let's see how often this happens

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happy 2 year anniversary of always forgetting our sodas <3

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happy 3 yr anniversary @link-lurkin,, forgot my root beer but didn't forget this >:) <3

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Vampire girl explaining that vampires don’t necessarily have to kill someone to drink their blood, but she did kind of kill a lot of people back when she was all depressed pre-transition: “when I was an egg I ate four dozen lads”

In the best way possible you just look like Ahab with tits

Oh hey happy great lakes awareness day. Those beach pics were taken at Lake Erie

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

"riding my biggest dildo imagining it's you" ok i ah. hm. i don't quite know how to say this but. perhaps instead consider a thimble

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

this literally isn't true please stop spreading lies

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline