LowRow

Not even ten minutes later a Nurse entered through the door, catching Maddies confused gaze.

"Oh you're awake." he'd note, cheerful in the same way a person might be if they found a penny after winning the lottery.

He quickly scribbled something down on a notepad as he checked over some of the machinery that was acting as a noise machine for the moment.

Maddie blinked at him, once again trying to lift her hand to instinctively touch her face. Again, to no success.

"What—uhm." She'd clear her throat "How long have I been out? What happened?"

The nurse looked over his glasses with a narrow glare, eyeing up the innocent look in Maddies eyes like it was anything but that of confusion.

"You don't remember?"

Maddie shook her head no, immediately regretting it as a spike off pain shot through her skull like she'd been hit by an arrow.

The nurse snickered a little, not seeming like he believes a word she's said.

"You're trouble, kid." he'd state, noting down the last vitals before wandering out of the room again.

—

Maddies other visitors didn't seem much more talkative either, doing a few exams and keeping exchanges brief. Nobody answered her question as to why she was cuffed down and what even had taken place that made her end up here.

She had only managed to piece together that a significant head injury was involved, quite obvious in hindsight since she didn't seem to remember a thing at all, had nauseating headaches and got her cognitive functions checked twice daily. The bandage wrapped around her head also wasn't very subtle, especially when she had a mirror held in front of her face for another thing of testing.

—

A few days of repetitive questions, restricted movement tests and getting the cold shoulder from anyone participating, there came someone new.

A woman in a suit, two Enforcers in tow. She stood straight and eyed the form still cuffed to the bed before opening her mouth.

"Maddie Nolen, I'm here to inform you that I'll be your legally required representative in the case of assault and attempted murder of a highly regarded officer, as well as the case of your deception and betrayal of the nation of Piltover."

The ginger just blinked up at the apparent Lawyer very stupidly. "My what?"

Even now she didn't get more answers, just having a folder placed into her lap that was stacked with documents.

"Court date is in here. I'll be seeing you then."

And that was it again.

There was new Information, bare crumbs that felt like they weighed the world.

That couldn't have been me.

She thought about it over and over as she flipped through the folder that stated her case, using the one hand they mercifully decided to uncuff. It was like reading a story from someone miles away, a very distant news report meant to scare people into behaving. But apparently it had been a reality that was lived by Maddie just barely a month and a half ago.

Page by page, everything became more surreal. It felt as though she was reading a rumor someone made up about her: A spy from an old affiliated Nation turned enemy, carrying illegal information across borders. Information gathered in the bounds of an intimate relationship, none of which Maddie can even try to recall, much less ever recalling having broken it off.

—

When it was finally time for Maddie to appear in court, being guided inside by enforcers with her hands cuffed behind her back, she spotted someone near the entrance.

A woman was standing next to another Enforcer, a Vastaya, if Maddie remembered that correctly. She looked dazed and followed Maddies movements closely, eyes kind of puffy and cheeks still red. She must have been crying.

For a second or so, a different image flashed in front of Maddies eyes. That same woman, her features soft in the morning glow that illuminated her bare skin as she laid in bed. Abruptly interrupted only by another memory of fluorescent lights and the woman hysterically crying as monitors beeped and the low hum of a doctors voice tried methodically explaining a diagnosis Maddie was too out of to catch onto. That must've been back at the hospital.

But who was she? Somebody important for sure seeing the way they had obviously been so close and vulnerable with each other to the point that she'd cried at Maddies bedside.

Maybe that was the Caitlyn she'd read about in the files. Definitely must have been. Who else could've pretended to love her when she truly had been as cruel as the file had depicted.

—

The trial was rough, a back and fourth of shouting and even booing from the visitor seats on an occasion or two.

What roused the crowd completely had been the judges decision to let Maddie go under close inspection. Everyone was in proper outrage, understandably so! So what if Maddie couldn't recall where she belonged or who she even was. She's fooled everyone before so she must be capable of doing it again. Besides: Who can even prove she's lost her memory at all?

A baseless accusation that threw even Maddie off center. How could she even begin to plead against that? It was hopeless in it's entirety.

The court reconsidered, adjourning the meeting to have Maddie under go just a few more tests. A few more safety measures, just to be sure. Still the crowd wasn't pleased and she could hear it loud and clear while being ushered outside: We can't keep funding a criminals hospital testing! Such a burden she was just because she's acting stupid.

And god how she wished to just be acting stupid instead of feeling as dumb as she is. All those strangely familiar faces, like she'd seen them before but they'd been attached to someone unrecognizable. She knew all these people as much as she didn't.

And among them were you: Still holding onto Stebs arms, fighting to keep tears in. You had watched Maddie the entire trail, watched as she sat with a frown like a kid that couldn't quite understand what they did wrong but took the scolding anyway.

You didn't know her like this. But after everything that happened it felt like you didn't even know her at all. Just as she doesn't know you.

—

Eventually though the court finaled in their decision, deeming Maddies loss of memory and otherwise disabling damage to the brain as enough punishment. She was allowed to stay in Piltover and seek the help required to offer a better quality of Life again.

The decision was heavily debated and Maddie didn't miss any of the glares sent her way and incoherent grumbles. They didn't know how thankful Maddie was for the opportunity given to her and she knew exactly what to do first.

So when she stepped out of the courtroom, seeing the Vastaya enforcer once again, she didn't hesitate.

"Excuse me? Can you show me to the woman you were with last time—Caitlyn, I think."

Steb just looked at Maddie, his face not giving away a thing while his heart still ached remembering their close friendship before. Maddie had been his best patrol companion and now he's not only lost her as a colleague but as a friend too, as anything at all. The Maddie he knew was gone.

Still he tried to stay professional.

"I've not been with the Kiramman." he'd shake his head "but I'll gladly show you to who you must be confusing her with."

Maddie was perplexed for a second, apparently having falsely assumed you were her fling. Nonetheless, she stayed determined to see you, something about you just pulled her in. It was something she couldn't logically describe.

—

You were surprised at first when you opened your door to see Maddie, Steb standing off further to the side. Maddie held a small bouquet of flowers in her hands, a token of kindness apparently, that you can imagine she's bugged Steb to stop for. A sense of normality shone through the clouds that have been hanging over your head ever since you'd seen Maddie in the hospital where they told you she'd never be back to normal again.

The flowers weren't anything special, but it contained your favorites which probably meant more to you than it did to her when she picked them out.

You'd invited Maddie inside wordlessly, carefully picking out a vase to display her gift in as she sat on the sofa, watching like you were a text to memorize.

With a sigh she'd rub her eyes "I feel like I should remember you. But I can't. I'm sorry."

You swallowed back tears once again, remembering how good you'd been doing on keeping yourself composed lately. Don't break now.

So with a shake of your head you carefully placed the filled vase on the table.

"Don't worry about it."

Although honestly, you wanted her to worry. Really you wanted her to just immediately remember you at the snap of a finger, crawl back into the bed you've left unmade ever since she left that one morning. But you knew it wouldn't happen.

Still, you hoped. If there was something like soulmates, she'd fall for you again. She'd come back around and it'd be just like it was before.

"You don't have to pretend to be nice." she croaked out, voice so rough she could barerly register it as her own.

For a moment Sevika stilled, the hand holding the cloth up to her face letting up a little before she pushed it back against the wound, making Maddie hiss slightly.

"Be grateful." She grumbled, voice intimidating as you'd imagine but with a subtle softness lingering somewhere not far.

Once the wound was cleaned and Sevika had half-heartedly stuck a plaster on it, she'd turn to walk away again, leaving Maddie unbound.

The ginger didn't dare speak up about it, appreciating the ability to move her arms and legs even if it still meant being confined to the small, shabby room she was kept in. What surprised her even more was when Sevika left the door open, just a crack.

Maddie wasn't the risky type by any means, but she was nosy. Nosy enough to slowly slip off the chair she had been sat on, approaching the door and daring to look outside the room to where she heard voices just a few metres away.

She could easily spot Sevika using her intimidating size to reprimand one of the guys Maddie vaguely remembered as her kidnappers. The way she spoke harshly to them was a complete contrast to how she'd spoken to Maddie just a few moments ago and something about that made her feel special in a twisted sort of way.

Once Sev was done with her scolding, the guys scurrying off to some elsewhere, she looked back over at the door Maddie was still peeking through.

Their Eyes met.

Sevika huffed, shaking her head.

Maddie froze as the steady footsteps came closer and closer until the door was opened entirely.

The big woman raised an eyebrow down at Maddie, giving her the chance to speak. But the red-faced ginger could barerly get out a squeak, hands infront of her torso as she nervously picked at her nails.

"You know you can come outta there."

Maddie just blinked up at Sevika, like she had told her an impossible riddle to solve. In her mind she was still considering everything to be a trap while a small part loved being treated as so special by someone normally known as cruel.

Carefully Maddie stepped out of the room, taking only a few steps before turning back to look at Sevika still stood in the doorframe. She was like an unsure dog, unsure how far she could take it before being punished and kicked again.

The big woman seemed to find it amusing as she passed, ruffling Maddies hair ever so slightly.

"Let's get you some water."

Without thinking twice Maddie took the glass of water she was offered, carefully taking a sip and gauging to see if she could make out any extraordinary flavours that could indicate drugging. But there was nothing. So she sipped slowly, her eyes still kept on Sevika as she just sat almost like she found comfort in maddies discomfort and confusion about the situation she was in.

Sevika leaned back in the chair, fingers tapping on the table they were sat at.

"You'll be outta here in no time as long as I get what I want from the Kiramman." she explained, sounding unbothered like she was having a casual chat about the weather and not a literal hostage situation.

---

Surerly it wasn't long until Caitlyn showed up to meet the demands of Sevika, aiming to have the hand-off be quick and without much problem even if it stung. This was for her team, of course.

Still, Maddie noticed how Sevika almost seemed to let her hand linger when she pushed Maddie towards Caitlyn, like a thing to be traded off but still so dear to the heart.

The second the team got out of there, Caitlyn paused to properly asses Maddie, looking at the patched up spots on her face and overall too well physical state for someone held hostage by the like of Sevika.

"What'd she do to you?" The words full of hate but also bewilderment.

Maddie herself didn't even know how to answer. Sevika did nothing but fed her and let her rest, like an inconvenient and boring vaccation.

She shook her head "I don't think I remember."

It was the obvious conclusion. That she must have repressed some horrible events in favor of believing that Sevika could've actually been a good person. That she was stupidly naive and willing to forget everything bad that was done to her just to feed the desire to forgive.

She felt like a fraud, so disoriented from a situation that was meant to be ten times worse. She should be missing a finger and a leg at least, not being left with only a slightly achy back from a bad mattress.

Caitlyns gaze softened "You're alright now."

But when Caitlyn looked at her it was an odd feeling. Caitlyn never cared to clean up Maddies wounds or help the ginger with the most mundane things when she was too out of it mentally to even take a step forward. It was a gentleness that Maddie thought was reserved for someone special, but was given to her so easily by someone who only cared for the leverage.

It didn't go unnoticed by either of them.

The One that mostly caught Maddies eyes though, was Vi. That was because Vi seemed to hover around her. When they played Sports together, she seemed to always shadow her, brushing their bodies together in one way or another; Whether it be a hand on her arm or bumping into her from the side. It went as far as the pinkette sneaking glances at Maddie during changing, occassionally even making casual conversation while her eyes wandered all over.

It freaked Maddie out the first few times and still did even months later when Vi wouldn't stop despite Maddie dodging her as much as possible.

Filled with guilt and unsure how to go on about this, she decided to approach the situation head on: Since she wasn't getting through to Vi with her active rejection, she'd go to the Brains of the duo instead. When she found Caitlyn waiting near the changing rooms after practice, clearly waiting on Vi, Maddie approached with her head hung low.

The ginger explained to her that she was desperetely sorry, that she tried her best to get Vi to back off, that the Kirammans girlfriend seemed to be flirting with her in an unabashed fashion and that Caitlyn deserved better.

Caitlyn only let out a small huff as Maddie turned to scramble off again before even hearing what she had to say. About the same time Vi would come out of the changing rooms as well now and immediatley got a smack upside the head by Caitlyn.

What Maddie didn't know was that both Caitlyn and Vi had a heartfelt conversation regarding to new item of their everyones interest. It had taken a heartfelt conversation between the two were they cleared their grounds: Both of them wanted her and eachother. It had become mutual grounds to work on, slowly chipping away at Maddie until they could invite her to join their little arrangement.

Now Vi had gone and messed it all up, scaring away maddie with her obvious fawning; The ginger polite and not wanting to get inbetween a relationship that was well-known across the whole school. It would be a scandal!! One she could only fantasize about in private.

--

The next person to see Maddie was Caitlyn, luckily. They had the same course and the Kiramman took the liberty to sit down right beside Maddie for a change.

"Sorry about Vi, she can be a bit much." she'd claim while pulling a notepad out of her bag.

Maddie only nodded along, unsure of what to say. She let the silence linger before cautiously glancing at Caitlyn. "Aren't you jealous that she flirts with everyone?"

Caitlyn chuckled "She doesn't flirt with everyone. Just you."

Maddie didn't know exactly what answer she had expected from her question, but it surerly wasn't this! It sounded like a line out of some sort of romance and she half expected Caitlyns next words to be something about 'having to get you out of the picture' with an ominous glare that would make her install an extra deadbolt on the door.

Instead she was met with a half muttered "I don't blame her."

A mere hallucination, Maddie thought. Something she could chalk up to the lack of sleep for the past few weeks as the situation weighed on her shoulders heavier than anything before.

--

She let it linger around in her head until she saw Vi again. This time, instead of glancing, subtle touches and jokes filled with innuendo, it was a straight up request.

"You wanna grab dinner tonight? That small italian place at the corner?"

Maddie swallowed, her mouth dry "B-but your Girlfriend—"

"She'll be there too!" Vi grinned before grabbing her bag and disppearing before Maddie could process.

So this is how she dies, huh? Taken out to dinner by the schools most beloved Sports Player only to end up in a set-up which ends in a furious Girlfriend that needed someone else to blame their partners cheating on.

--

The invitation echoed in maddies head for the rest of the day. But she didn't go. She valued her life enough to stay home tonight and not get in someone elses business.

Just about half an hour after the promised time, there was a knock at Maddies door. With a heavy sigh she'd get up off her bed and drag herself to the door, accepting that despite having done everything right her fate had been sealed.

There stood Vi and Caitlyn, dressed fancier than casual but more casual than fancy, holding a small bouqet of flowers.

"We waited for you at the restaurant. Is something wrong?"

Maddie eyed the two, not really sure on what to answer.

"It would've been wrong of me to go on a date with someone who's already got a Girlfriend." she settled.

Vi shrugged, as if it were simple "Not if the Girlfriend agreed."

Caitlyn just nodded, holding the flowers out to Maddie who carefully took them in her hands. Her favourites, mixed in a colourful arrangement.

As the shards flew everywhere, Maddie had flinched back, her hands flying to her head like she had waited for impact, spine curved outward. She was an animal that cowered, then lunged as she turned and poked her finger at the poor recruit who's slippery fingers knocked the glass from the shelf.

"You're so useless and pathetic, not even good for this! How you got past the tests is beyond me, with hands like this the only thing you'd be good for is shoveling our graves when you eventually kill us all."

The recruit stared, wide eyed as she could see all the way to the gingers molars, taking each verbal hit as Maddie tore into her way beyond mistakes.

When eventually Steb got his jaw off the floor, he'd grab Maddies shoulder, try to pull her out of it and get her to stop embarrassing herself as everyone around her just watched her go off about something so miniscule.

Nothing was sacred as Maddie grabbed the mans wrist, twisting it until he squeaked, not letting up before he begged for her to stop, that she was hurting him. That's when Maddie snapped back into reality, right out of her anger. She let go, huffed once again and stomped off, like she normally does when agitated.

Steb never mentioned it again. Nobody ever that. Maddie didn't either, not to apologise, nor to even acknowledge it happening at all. If it weren't for the vivid memory, it wouldn't even have happened. Only sometimes you'd hear a brief "don't agitate her" mumbled from one recruit to another.

Suddenly Maddies favourite snacks were always available in a neat bowl, her input considered just a little more when it came to missions. It was almost magical how things improved and you'd think that Maddie would've been happy that she was finally taken seriously and no longer having her supposed kindness taken advatange of; but that'd be wrong to assume.

Maddie now felt like the glass that had shattered along with her dignity. She could feel everyone looking at her at every minor inconvenience, trying to asess if she would bite like a reactive dog ticked off by anything in her vicinity. It was an unwanted sort of attention and every time things went her way now, there was shame evident deep inside of her. She wasn't asked for favours anymore, the one thing she considered herself to be good at was to be a support but now she was a burden. She wasn't a weapon or a tool anymore, but demanded way more than she considered herself allowed to take; Never asking and too shy of recieving.

Years and years she had endured. Day after day, the same thing. Not enough and then too much, too abrasive and then too calm. It was something she should have been able to figure out by now, to balance her kindness with the right amount of bite; To direct her anger at those who hurt her and not at those she's allowed herself to get close to.

When for the tenth time she just wasn't 'what they were looking for', maybe that's how she lost herself piece by piece. Adjusting and repositioning to be more liked, to be more less. Now there's nothing left of her but a growing sorrow that bubbles up into unfiltered rage at the worst times.

Because Maddie would've never made a mistake like that. She had perfected herself to be exactly what everyone around her needs at all times. Dropping a glass, that was ridiculous. It only happens if you're careless and stupid and don't value anything in your life. Over and over she got it drilled into her head over the tiniest spill.

So what if it happened to her, brooding over the vase that had fallen off the small sidetable, head in her hands. Gone and broken now just because she messed up; Unfixable in ways she can harmonize with as she cries out of frustration with herself.