Big L

It was already the perfect day. You had woken up five minutes before your alarm, letting you breeze through your morning routine without much worry. Your hair had fallen into the perfect overnight blow-out from the sock curls you put in the previous night and the exact outfit you were dreaming about wearing was washed. You brushed your teeth and applied your makeup thinking about the lunch you were going to grab today while also looking through your reading notes for your morning class. 

Downstairs the living room to the sorority house was already a bit packed but your roommate, Dylan, had saved you a seat. You dropped your cute leather school bag  onto the chair and quickly grabbed a plate of pancakes and fruit to start your morning.

“That bra is so fab,” Dylan gushed, gesturing to your new lace bralette you picked up the other day, “I’m going to steal it.”

“You know you’re welcome to borrow any of my clothes but I think we're very different cup sizes” you said.

Dylan just groaned and mumbled something about back problems and band sizes. You did feel a bit bad but Dylan knew she was entitled to any other clothing piece of yours.

You playfully rolled your eyes and dug into your breakfast. 

“So what’s the social line-up for this weekend?” Dylan asked.

Being the social chair of a sorority was no easy task but you enjoyed challenging yourself. You figured it would be good practice if you wanted to get your dream job in event entertainment management after graduation. And not to toot your own horn but you were doing a damn good job. Every weekend your sorority sisters could expect a packed line-up of parties with the best themes, hottest guys, and strong drinks. Who knew all you needed to do was bat your lashes at any frat guy and they’d send you the details to their own social chair? Men were so easy it made you laugh.

“I don’t want to spoil anything but a sports team may be in the lineup,” you grinned.

“Football again?” Dylan guessed, “Hey I’m not complaining though. There’s a wide receiver I have my eyes on.”

You laughed knowing exactly who she was talking about. Your twin brother, Beau Maxwell, was the quarterback of a not-so successful Briar football team but that didn’t mean the two of you couldn’t throw an awesome party together. You had been doing it since high school with your joint birthday ragers and now with you as social chair and him a college athlete and frat guy, you have upgraded your parties.

You’ve heard some complaints that you mixed with football and Beau’s frat too often but they were the ones who garnered the most attendance. Besides Beau was a lot easier to plan with than stupid Liam from Sigma Chi who only wanted to talk to you when you were wearing a tube top. 

“Maybe maybe not,” you shrugged, earning a suspicious look from Dylan.

“I’m going to stay silent for the next five minutes knowing you’re going to fold.”

You lasted maybe three minutes as you were too excited to break the news to at least one person.

“It’s the hockey team,” you whispered, so the surprise wasn’t spoiled for the rest of the chapter.

“Shut the fuck up!” Dylan squealed, “How the fuck?”

“Shhh,” you exclaimed, “I’m still working out the details.”

You just prayed Dean Di Laurentis would pull through. Which reminded you that you had to text him later today to confirm the time and theme for the mixer. Or actually maybe you’ll just show up to the hockey house. Face-to-face confrontation always proved more successful. 

Beau had gotten closer to the infamous Dean Di Laurentis and his group of hockey boys. While it was known the hockey team did not do official mixers, opting for their own open parties, you literally were on your hands and knees begging Dean over the summer.

“Dean please, my sisters are literally the hottest girls on campus and they know how to have a good time,” you pleaded as Beau watched the two of with the same amusement as football playoff game. 

“Yeah I just don’t think the guys are into that type of thing,” Dean shrugged.

“It’s literally just a party,” you sighed, “You can open it up like an hour after the ‘official mixer’ but we’re still just getting drunk and dancing.”

“So why can’t you just invite a bunch of your sisters to one of our parties?”

“Ugh you’re missing the point!” you groaned which made Beau laugh.

“There is a difference,” Beau agreed, “Hard to explain but more ‘intimate’ in some ways.”

“Hmm,” Dean pondered, “I could use a new crowd of people.”

“You’re such a slut,” you chided, “But yes a new crowd of people could be good for you Dean,” still trying to butter him up.

“I have one condition though.”

“What?” you perked up.

“I get to join you and Beau’s birthday party this year,” Dean said, crossing his arms.

“Huh?” you blinked at him, “That’s your request.”

You and Beau were obviously known to have a joint birthday party every fall, typically hosted at your family’s Cape Cod home. It was still a few weeks away so you weren’t too sure why Dean was bringing it up let alone want to get in on the tradition. 

“I mean sure?” you said, looking at Beau who seemed to be in on the whole thing.

“Sweet!” Dean cheered, “Alright mixer is approved.”

You rolled your eyes but at least you had gotten what you wanted.

“Oh there’s Violet,” Dylan pointed out to the younger sophomore who seemed to just roll out of bed. 

She was a recent addition to the sorority, joining in the fall but you and Dylan had taken a liking to her soft spoken nature. However, today she just seemed to be in shambles.

“I heard she's still not over finding out her long-distance boyfriend cheated on her,” Dylan informed, "Shit sucks but she's been like this for weeks."

“Oh my god that poor thing,” you sighed before waving at her, “Come sit with us Violet!”

Violet hesitantly sat across from you and Dylan, fiddling with her fingers. But she seemed grateful for the company. Now that she was closer you could see her red rimmed eyes and faint tear stains.

“How are you doing?” you chirped, figuring that was a neutral and friendly question to ask.

Unfortunately that prompted the girl to burst into tears. She buried her face into the sleeves of her sweater as both you and Dylan tried comforting her. It wasn’t uncommon for you to be in this position. Being in a sorority you have heard all the horror stories about boyfriends, situationships, and hook-ups. And every time you offered your shoulder for someone to cry on you can’t help but wonder what was all the hype of these stupid college boys. You had seen first hand how your brother and his friends acted when it came to romance and they were much too immature that you could not understand the appeal. 

“Sorry,” Violet sniffed, “It’s just kind of a lot you know.”

“Cheating is literally the top ten most evil things you could do,” Dylan agreed, “Well I guess ‘normal’ evils, mass murder is definitely bad. But that’s besides the point he’s a dick and a dumbass.”

“Totally agree,” you said, “You’re obviously an accomplished woman and if he can’t keep it in his pants and not chase after the next shiny object then he’s going to have a rough future.”

“Ugh I guess he was pretty stupid,” Violet sighed, her tears stopping, “It just sucks cause that was my high school boyfriend. I feel like I missed out on college experience because of his stupidity.”

“Don’t say that you’re only a sophomore!” you exclaimed.

“Yeah well I can’t guarantee the men at Briar are emotionally available I will say they’ll show you a good time,” Dylan said, “She’ll disagree but trust me I know.”

“How am I supposed to meet people though? I mean I have this sorority but my ex was so controlling about me going to parties.”

“You mean you have never been to one of our mixers yet?” Dylan asked.

Violet shook her head which made both of you gasp.

“He is evil!” you exclaimed, “Don’t even worry. Now that you’re free from whatever prison you were in, I'll gladly help you navigate the beauty of a frat party.”

“Really?” Violet asked.

“Really.”

“Yeah we have apparently a good lineup of mixers this weekend thanks to our queen here,” Dylan gestured to you, “If it’s anyone that you need to be your wingwoman it’s her.”

Violet smiled at the two of you, seeming to be in a better mood as you laughed at Dylan’s praise. The three of you ended up chatting about classes with the occasional harsh comment directed towards Violet’s ex. Maybe you could ask your friend on the West Coast to pay him a visit. Even though you didn’t know Violet super well you wanted her to enjoy her time at Briar University. Which meant paying the hockey house a visit today.

–

You have two harsh knocks on the door of the hockey house. It really did look like any dingy frat house with beer cans littering the porch along with old hockey gear and even a dirty sock. Gross! You swayed back on your ballet flats as you waited patiently. They should be done with practice by now. You should’ve double checked someone was going to be home but the house was on your way back from classes anyways.

After a minute the door swung open to reveal a half naked John Logan. His sweatpants were hanging lowly on his waist and he wore a backwards cap that hid his usual fluffy brown hair. He looked like he just rolled out of bed, which he probably did.

Out of all your brother’s friends, John Logan, was the one you disliked the most. Dean would’ve taken the title for all his womanizing ways if it weren’t for a very traumatic experience on a boat a few summers ago. You both have matching scars that have bonded you for life.

Well to be fair you only disliked Logan because it seemed like he disliked you. Whenever you occasionally join the group of drinks at Malone’s are shown face at a hockey party, Logan barely spared you a glance.  In the beginning you didn’t think much of it, boys will be weird but Garrett and Tucker always made friendly conversation. But anytime he did talk to you it was always to make some joke about your being a bit clumsy or unaware. Which was beyond rude because you would’ve thought he’d be over fishing your ring out of the drain last year but apparently not. You had remembered to thank him that day, almost giving him a hug when he revealed the golden band your mom had gifted you. He just rolled his eyes and shrugged not even sparing you a single word of acknowledgement. Oh how you hated him! It just completely sucked cause your brother seemed to be hypnotized by those brown eyes so now whenever you wanted to hang with the larger group Logan would have to be there.  

“What are you doing here?” he said in his usual cheerless tone around you.

“Hello to you too,” you retorted to make a point which made him cross his arms in annoyance. 

Dumb move cause now you were staring at his arms. But to be fair he was definitely looking at your white lace bra peaking out from your tank top. 

“Is Dean here?” you asked, standing on your tip toes to peer over Logan’s shoulder. An empty house.

“Nah he’s out. Not really sure where and with who,” Logan said in a tone implying you cared about Dean’s hook-ups.

“Great,” you grumbled, fishing out your phone to fire off a text to this annoying blonde.

“What’s got you all fussy?” Logan commented, now leaning against the frame clearly amused by your frustration.

“Your blonde friend,” you sighed.

“Oh I didn’t know you two were hooking up,” Logan said, “Yeah hate to break it to you but he had some girl over last night. Went at it for hours.”

“Eww!” you exclaimed, “I do not want to hear that! And I’m not hooking up with Dean for your information. I rather drink gasoline.”

“Harsh,” Logan laughed, “So why are you looking for him?”

“We were supposed to go over the details for the mixer. Or at least verbally confirm it,” you sighed seeing Dean’s phone was on do not disturb.

“Oh right that party with your sorority,” Logan said though his tone sounded like he was less than pleased, “Can’t believe you’re making us do that.”

“Why? It’ll be fun,” you said, biting your lip. 

You were now a bit self conscious about the success of the party. But also this was John Logan you were talking to. The man who always had a stick up his ass whenever you were around.

“Yeah I’m definitely going to enjoy a ton of drunk sorority girls trashing my house.”

“How is it any different from when you invite your puck bunnies,” you fired back.

Logan just shook his head and scoffed. Take that! He uncrossed his arms and adjusted his cap but you made a point to stand firm. Not that Logan would physically harm you but you were over guys trying to act better than they were. Logan was no saint when it came to hook-ups or partying so there was no reason for him to be judging you or your sisters.

“Hope you find Dean,” he said, moving to close the door.

Once you were facing a wooden door instead of Logan’s stupid brown eyes you couldn’t help but silently flip the dude off. You’ll show him on Friday! Sorority girls were a ton of fun and beyond their pretty faces they were some of the most driven and kindest women you knew. Your chapter had an average GPA of 3.8 for goodness sakes! 

It didn’t matter because this mixer was happening and you could tell brooding John Logan to suck it!

A/N: First part completed! This is going to be so fun I already know it!!! Sorry if this characterization of Logan is a bit meaner than most but it's to add tension...

One day you’d be the first person to interview the officer of the latest crime case. Or you’d be the one to break the news of a government scandal. Or even put out such a well written profile of the newest person in the spotlight that people talk about the article more than the person itself.

One day.

Instead you were stuck interviewing cocky athletes because the Briar Pages sports writer, Harry, decided to take a chance on the New Mexican and Thai fusion place. It ended with you getting a text that had you in the hockey arena and Harry’s head in the toilet.

The Briar Pages have been doing a profile on a member of the hockey team every week leading up to their much anticipated Frozen Four game. This week was supposed to feature the one and only, number 22, John Logan. 

It wasn’t that you hated sports journalism. You had respect for the reporters attending games, doing play by plays, and trying to grab an interview after a win or lose. 

You just majorly prefer not to be the one doing it. Especially interview college athletes that already have an ego larger than their bodies. You had done it once, as one of your first assignments at the paper, and the football player was so rude and also did not give any answer of substance that you decided to steer clear of the athletic column as much as possible. The nail on the coffin was your personal bias against hockey, the sport. You much prefer a soccer game rather than trying to track the tiny puck across the ice. But no use in complaining now. If you were going to be a real journalist you would have to cover the hard stories. Not that interviewing a college kid was hard compared to the war stories you read daily but everything in perspective. 

The practice was still going on when you arrived early to the arena. It was weird to come by the place so empty, no fans screaming their heads off, no fighting on the ice. The players were doing basic shooting drills that seemed to be more uplifting and fun rather than harsh. Hopefully that meant John Logan would be in a good mood. You found interviewees more talkative when they had a good day. 

You sat yourself in the front row which was the closest you probably ever been to the ice so you could actually see the puck gliding back and forth. Someone gave a final crack at the puck, making it soar into the net easily causing some cheers from the teammates.

“Nice shot Logan,” the coach approved, “I think we can wrap up practice now.”

You made a mental image of the scene and quickly jotted some notes down on the scenery for your article. The players skated off the ice chatting about their plans and eager to shower off. No one really paid any attention to you except for Dean Dilarentis, number 44, whose head literally swiveled when he spotted you sitting on the bleachers. 

“Are you waiting for someone?” he called out with a grin.

You could not tell if he was being helpful or flirting mainly because of how attractive he was. But you saw the way he acted off the ice. Cocky and arrogant men were another thing you stayed away from.

“I’m here to interview John Logan for the Briar Pages,” you replied.

“Oh shit yeah I did mine two weeks ago,” he said.

You knew that. One because you read every article in the Briar Pages and two because the girl had been secretly hooking up with Dean weeks prior to the interview which was a major conflict of interest that made you and the other editors spiral. Sure she still wrote a pretty unbiased article as a profile could be but the fact she kept her hook ups a secret from everyone was a massive red flag. While some people would think college journalism isn’t that serious, you firmly believed in placing boundaries now. 

You just gave him a nod.

“Well Logan should be out in a bit,” Dean said, “I’ll let him know to hurry up in the shower.”

“Thanks.”

You went over the questions Harry sent you. They were mostly things about how he felt the team was playing, areas of improvement, other competition. You decided to add a few of your own questions out of your own curiosity, hoping it would paint a more colorful image of the hockey team.

Soon you heard feet shuffling and looked up to see the man of the hour. John Logan.

You had to admit that he was a lot more handsome up close. His hair was still a bit damp from the shower, curling at the ends. He was dressed in an all blue sweatsuit with the Briar hawk mascot embroidered on the left pec bringing attention to the hard plane of muscle peaking out from behind the jacket. You blinked, cursing yourself for checking out your subject. 

“You don’t look like a Harry,” Logan joked, his own eyes raking over your figure.

You scoffed and introduced yourself, “Harry’s sick so I’ll be doing the questions today.”

“Fine with me,” he grinned, dropping his duffel bag and taking the seat next to you.

You placed your phone in between the two of you on the bleachers, creating a small barrier in case Logan tried to get too close and balanced your notebook on your lap. 

“Do you mind if I record this?” you asked, standard procedure.

“You’re all good.”

So you hit play and began with your first question.

“So tell me the basics about yourself? Your name, age, major, and position you play I suppose.”

He chuckled and answered, “I’m John Logan but everyone calls me Logan. I’m 21 and a business major. And I’m one of the starting defensemen for Briar’s hockey team.”

“And how do you think your hockey season has been going so far?”

“Great,” he shrugged, “Qualifying for the Frozen Four was definitely a signal that we are one of the top teams in the league. Have you come to any of our games?”

“Umm no,” you admitted, which had Logan’s face flickering in confusion, “But congrats on your qualification in the Frozen Four. What was that like? Describe how you were feeling.”

“I mean it was a lot all at once. I knew we had a fair shot. You know the team is definitely strong but there’s always room for error. I guess it’s hard to explain since you weren’t at the game but the crowd…”

He trails off, clearly itching to speak more but is hesitant.

“So explain it to me.”

“I guess on the ice it’s really easy to get in your head. I mean I’m literally wearing a helmet that limits my vision to only see the puck. So when the buzzer rings, I think that’s when I finally process all the cheering and screaming from the crowd. It’s a pretty awesome feeling especially since it’s all these people who don’t even know you personally but they’re cheering for you. For the school.”

You gave a nod, thinking about his answer and what you were going to ask next.

“When you say people don’t know you personally but still cheer for you, how has being a hockey player affected your experience as a Briar student?”

His eyes flicked to yours in some sort of amusement as if it were a subject that’s been eating him up inside. 

“Wow that’s a good question,” he said, which made you mentally pat yourself on the back. 

You gave him a moment to gather his thoughts before he let out a sigh.

“I mean I’m really lucky. I’m here on a hockey scholarship so I don’t even know if I’d be at a college if it weren’t for hockey. I have so much love and appreciation for the sport and the team. Coach Jenson is truly one of the best and these guys I’ve grown up with since freshman year. So being on the team is an invaluable experience.”

You waited for the but.

“But also I’m just a regular student at the end of day, which maybe sometimes it’s hard to think that especially when my face is plastered everywhere. Sometimes maybe people forget that, even I do, so sometimes it’s hard.”

You were shocked at his vulnerability thinking you were going to have to pry a bit more. You read the article about Garrett, that boy gave next to nothing about his life.

“Can I ask you to elaborate what areas might be hard? Is it work balance or socializing?”

“Oh I guess the university is really good about supporting student athletes. Most of my professors are pretty accommodating. Hockey season is kinda in between semesters so pre-season is rough with all the finals but the actual start of the season is nice since we’re easing into the new semester.”

“About socializing, I mean I got a great social life,” he grinned, “I guess it’s mostly affected my dating life which I’m not sure if I’m allowed to talk about?”

“You’re allowed to talk about anything. We’re an independent student newspaper so I won’t purposely censor you,” you said.

You’ve heard stories about the infamous player John Logan was and seeing him in person you had every right to believe them. He sure was handsome and now hearing about his passion for the game and watching him practice you could see why he attracted so many girls. You would not fall victim thought!

“Yeah I guess,” he scratched the back of his neck, “Dating is interesting for sure. You never know if someone wants to be with you because they like you or of the jersey you wear. So I guess that’s made me a bit more conscious of who I surround myself with.”

“Are you dating anyone?” you asked, sort of unsure if that was an appropriate question but you wanted to know if he had a girlfriend as that could change the article.

“Why do you want to know?” he said flirtatiously causing you to slightly recoil.

You remained professional and resisted the urge not to roll your eyes as you explained, “Just wondering if you found people who like you for you.”

“I definitely have. The guys on the team are truly my closest friends. I met a couple other dudes through various classes and parties. So it’s nice knowing people like me for who I am off the ice.”

“And what do you like to do when you’re not playing hockey?”

“I love video games,” Logan grinned, “I love action movies. I do really enjoy hockey though. Sometimes I’ll dabble in some street hockey when it’s warmer out. I’m working at my dad’s garage so I guess I’m also pretty handy.”

You glanced down at his hands, noticing the callouses forming from the hours of work and practice. Huh you didn’t expect him to be a handyman.

“Speaking of family, how do they feel about all your success?”

You notice his body tense at the question. But you waited for him to answer before prying further. You never wanted to make a source feel uncomfortable. 

“My sibling, Jules, is super supportive,” Logan began with a sigh, “They’re always pushing me to be better and hanging with me at the rings when I want to run late night drills.”

You nodded, scribbling a few notes.

“My parents are supportive I guess,” he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, “As supportive as they can be. I don’t really come from a wealthy background like most people at Briar so there are just different expectations for me back home.”

“Can I ask what these expectations are?”

“It’s kind of complicated,” Logan sighed, eyeing your phone that was recording the whole thing.

Well if this were any other story you might dig further but he was just a college student like you. It felt wrong to force him to air out all his problems.

“Understandable,” you nodded, “So what is your favorite thing about hockey? Why choose this sport out of all the others?”

“That’s a good question,” Logan chuckled, clearly a bit more relaxed, “I mean my dad used to take us skating at this small pond in our town. And the sensation of gliding on the ice was no other. There was an after school program called the Hurricanes that I signed up for since my parents worked late and that was my introduction to the game.”

“What’s it like playing hockey? Explain it to someone who has never played,” you said.

“Oh man, it's everything. The rush of skating on the ice while you’re chasing this small puck. Sports are I guess a bit silly but hockey when you’re working with your team and training all up to that moment the puck shoots into the net. There’s no other rewarding feeling.”

“Do you have any top hockey moments? In college and outside of college?”

“I mean this frozen four qualifier was pretty big. I think getting my first collegiate goal is also up there. It made me realize that maybe I do deserve to be here. As for outside of college,” he hummed thinking, “I won my high school championship which I supposed at the moment felt really big. There were a couple games that my friends and I would just play on the weekends and it was always a good time.”

“That’s nice,” you found yourself saying, “You mentioned some of your other hobbies earlier. Are any them close to giving you the same fulfillment to what hockey gives you?”

“You got a hair sticking out,” Logan said, reaching out to tuck it away before you could react.

You felt your cheeks grow hot as his fingers grazed your cheeks. This was totally unprofessional! You cleared your throat, leaning back to create some distance between the two of you so he couldn’t hear how fast your heart was beating.

“Sorry umm I guess? It's a weird thing cause hockey seems like such a separate part of my life. I mean it's my whole life in some ways so I don't think there's really anything that comes to close," he said, "But I guess my hobbies give me other types of fulfillment. The garage work is pretty therapeutic. I like working my own car cause it's something for myself.”

“A handyman,” you hummed, trying not to imagine him all greased up tinkering on a car.

You followed up with a few more questions Harry had written. More about specific plays and how the team was doing. Sports language that you definitely were having Harry translate for you. Logan answered them all with a smile. There were some moments you both shared a laugh about a story you recounted or a quiet rebuttal you threw in to keep the conversation flowing. You were slowly starting to realize why everyone called this man charming. But you needed to stay focused. You were here for business not a boyfriend.

You glanced at your phone. The time read nearly an hour after the two of you started. 

“Oh I guess those were all the written questions,” you chirped, “Do you have anything else you wanna add or ask me?”

“Nah,” he shook his head, “I mean can I ask what’s your deal?”

“My deal?”

“Yeah I mean what you’re studying, what you’re into.”

You couldn’t tell if he was being friendly or trying to flirt so you gave a quick answer.

“I’m studying journalism and I like a lot of things but this interview is about you not me,” you said.

“What if I wanted to get to know you more?” his eyes twinkled, leaning closer so that now you could smell his shampoo.

You leaned back and put your notebook away.

“I would say that would go against the basic laws of journalism,” you sighed, “I don’t like to fraternize with my sources.”

“Oh come on it’s only for the school newspaper,” Logan grinned until you gasp, “Which is a lovely publication.”

“It’s the principle of the matter,” you huffed, tossing your bag over your shoulder and recited the same speech you said after every interview, “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I’ll be sure to send you a copy of the article once it’s out.”

You walked out without looking back even though you really had enjoyed Logan’s company. There was no point in dwelling on the situation. You were a regular student and he was going to be on the front page of your paper. It was best to forget about it all and just write the damn article. And maybe tell Harry to be more cautious of what he consumes.

It was almost the end of the semester and both you and Logan had big events coming up. One was the much anticipated fashion show and the other was the fundraiser.

The past few weeks have been nothing but pure joy as you and Logan used those excuses to spend as much time with one another. In the beginning you were worried that you were being too clingy and losing your independence but Logan was really good at respecting boundaries. You had a good schedule where you mostly did your own thing during the early week. Logan had practice and you started writing for the school publication. But once it was Thursday you two were always all over each other.

Today you were chilling in your dorm which was a nice change from the hockey house. No smelly guys to interrupt your couple time.

“I need to shave,” Logan sighed from your bed, as you were finishing up an article.

You turned from your desk, tilting your head to give him a good look. There was a slight shadow of stubble growing but Logan wore it well. It was moments like this that you couldn’t believe that this man was your boyfriend. Boyfriend! That was a term you were also getting used to.

“Oh this is my,” your voice trailed off, trying to figure out how to introduce Logan to Katie’s mom at pick up.

“That’s her boyfriend,” Katie said.

“Yup I’m her boyfriend,” Logan confirmed.

Katie’s mom gushed at the two of you as you waved goodbye and overheard Katie talking about how she knew the two of you were dating the entire time. Logan grinned and gave your waist a squeeze as he directed the two of you to the car.

“Boyfriend huh?” you asked, a little bit shy.

Obviously you wanted him to be his girlfriend and based on the way the two of you were acting it seemed to be that way. But you also knew Logan’s past of no labels with other girls. Even though you were confident that this was something different you didn’t want to be the first to ask.

“I prefer the title future husband,” Logan teased, making you roll your eyes, “Of course I’m your boyfriend. Are you okay with being my girlfriend cause I’ve already told everyone.”

You laughed and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Sounds good to me.”

“I think it looks fine,” you said, shutting down your computer and making your way towards the bed.

“So should I grow a full beard then,” he asked, outstretching his arms for you to settle next to him.

“I did not say that,” you huffed, laying on your side to face him. Your hand came up to cup his cheek feeling the coarse hair tickle your palm, “But this looks nice.”

“Noted,” he hummed, turning his head to press a kiss to your palm, “Article all finished?”

“Yup! Hopefully it gets less than a hundred edits but that’s wishful thinking,” you sighed, settling your head on his chest.

“Can’t wait to read it babe,” Logan said, stroking your arm.

His praise made you blush, focusing your attention on the fabric of his hoodie. Even though you’ve been seeing each other for months now, you still hadn’t gotten used to the fact Logan’s loud personality would translate to his romantic life. You did love it, even though most of his complements had you groaning and hiding your face from him.

“You excited for this weekend?” he hummed.

Friday afternoon was the fashion show and Saturday night was the fundraiser. So a weekend filled with Logan.

“Are you excited? Mr. Model.”

“You know if this is what it takes to keep you as my girlfriend then yes I am excited. And I’m excited for the fundraiser.”

“Can’t believe the semester is basically over,” you sighed, playing with his hoodie string, “It went by so fast.”

“Maybe for you,” Logan huffed, “Felt like years trying to make you mine.”

“You are so dramatic,” you teased, playfully pinching his bicep.

He squeezed you tighter, making you laugh. Then Logan decided to press kisses all over your forehead, his stubble tickling your skin as you squirmed in his hold.

“I’ll be ok though,” he hummed, “Cause now I got forever with you.”

–

Friday came and John Logan was looking a bit too eager to pick you up from your dorm considering in less than two hours he’d be changing out of his scruffy jeans for a matching leopard set.

You and the girls were hauling the bins of clothing and accessories to the front when Logan came rushing up.

“I got it pretty,” Logan said, easily lifting two the bins that had you and Amy huffing and puffing earlier, “Garrett’s on his way to pick up Allie and Hannah.”

You and Amy had convinced most of your friends to model the kid’s clothing although the rest of the hockey guys said they rather just watch from the stands. Except Dean of course who he and Allie were sporting a cute couple’s set that one of the kids made.

“Maybe I need to get a boyfriend just for the free manual labor,” Amy huffed, wiping her brow.

You let out a laugh watching Logan load the car, muscles flexing underneath his cotton tee.

“I can’t even lie to you, it is nice,” you admitted.

“Well tell Logan to tell his football friend to lock in.”

“Oh this is new!” you exclaimed, “You and Beau.”

“It’s nothing. We just exchanged numbers the other night at Malone’s,” Amy said.

“Oh my gosh I can't with you,” you teased, “You know he’s coming to this right?”

Amy gave you a look before saying, “Thank god I opted to wear Stacey’s two-piece set. That girl could actually be a fashion designer.”

You let out a laugh as Logan came back ready to take another batch of boxes.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Amy said quickly.

You gave Logan a look that read I’ll tell you later which he gave an understanding nod. He was an even bigger fiend for gossip than you were, and you used to be Briar Bitch.

Soon Garrett arrived and everything was all packed into the cars. You Amy piled into Logan’s truck as you had a bet on who would get to the school first, Logan or Garrett.

The actual setup was pure chaos. The parents were slowly arriving with their respective kids in hand. The kids were bouncing around eager to see their clothes actually in the flesh. Amy made a big deal and had assigned seatings to make the kids feel special while you were in the dressing room making sure all your friends were in the proper clothes.

“I need this kid to seriously be my stylist,” Hannah said, putting on the flowy blouse made by eight year old Matthew.

“Speak for yourself. Not that I’m hating on a kid, we just have very different tastes,” Allie grumbled in her bright orange dress. Dean just laughed, admiring his matching jumpsuit.

“Logan come out buddy,” Dean teased, knocking on one of the stalls, “I wanna see that cheetah.”

“Fuck off Dean,” Logan called back.

“Come on Logan,” you pleaded.

At the sound of your voice, he unlocked the door to reveal a very eccentric suit. It took 0.2 seconds before everyone started bursting into laughter.

“Oh it’s even better than I imagined,” Dean said through tears, “The rest of the guys are not going to be ready for this.”

That only upset Logan, getting ready to step back in the dressing room until you put a hand on his shoulder.

“You look cute,” you giggled, “The pattern really compliments your eyes.”

Logan pulled you into a hug, shooting daggers at the rest of your friends, mumbling into your hair something about Katie being evil and him being hopelessly devoted to you.

“Why didn’t we get the couple outfits,” Logan said, looking at what Dean and Allie were wearing.

“Cause we weren’t a couple when you agreed,” you shrugged making him tickle your sides.

“You are really evil,” Logan declared, he took a moment to glance down at your own outfit, “And you also look really good babe. Who designed this dress?”

“Katie,” you said, looking down at the very pretty sequined dress on your body.

Logan let out a defeated sigh.

Soon enough it was showtime. Amy hooked up her phone for the runway music the group of you pretended you were strutting down Milan fashion week. The parents clapped and laughed seeing their kid’s designs while the children cheered and watched in awe. Katie literally screamed when she saw Logan in her suit, forcing her mom to take a photo.

Afterwards, you and Amy had all the kids come onto the stage and bow like they were real fashion designers which ended up in a standing ovation. The parents thanked and congratulated you and Amy on your hard work through the term. They all had come together to give each of you a very generous gift card to the fancy restaurant.

He immediately changed out of the suit which you couldn’t blame him for. The group had dispersed as you and Logan wanted an early night for the event that was tomorrow. You gawked at Amy who was chatting up Beau at the end of the show and she gave you a wink over her shoulder as Beau led her to his own car.

For a moment it was just you, Hannah, Logan and Garrett in the parking lot chatting about the event. Logan’s eyes flicked to Hannah as she was gushing about the little kid’s talents as you remembered long ago that gaze could’ve met something different. But now with Logan’s hands firmly planted on your hipbone, and plans of a movie night with just the two of you, that old thought made you laugh. You said your goodbyes to Hannah and Garrett as they had plans for a concert later. Logan turned back to you and gave you a quick peck on the lips as if he couldn’t help himself.

“Guess next dinner date night is on me,” you teased holding up your gift card, as Logan swung his arm around you.

“You deserve it,” Logan said, “Never seen 10 year olds so happy.”

“Well I did employ America’s top models. I caught some of the mom’s checking you out even in that ridiculous suit.”

“Jealous baby?”

“Hardly. I will say your ass looked great in those pants.”

Logan pressed a kiss to your temple with a chuckle.

“You can tease me all you want gorgeous,” Logan said, “Just know I’ll be wearing that exact outfit when you’re walking down the aisle getting ready to marry me.”

–

Thank god Saturday was a bit more chill than Friday. Mostly because your only responsibility was that you had the bookstore gift cards and made sure Logan at least ate something. Your boss was nice enough to let you work a half day shift at the bookstore so as soon as you were off the clock you headed to Malone’s to find your friends in a frenzy.

“I brought Thai food,” you announced, holding up bags of takeout.

“Oh you’re the best,” Allie immediately ditching her task and bounced over to you.

Everyone else followed as the group of you took over a table, everyone but the man of the hour.

“He’s on the phone outside,” Garrett said through a mouth full of pad thai.

You gave a nod, excusing yourself to find Logan.

Sure enough there he was, running a hand through his hair clearly stressed.

“Please take care of yourself,” he sighed, “Listen to the people there.”

It must be about his mom. You slowly approached him, tapping him on the shoulder. He flinched slightly at the action but eyes immediately softened when they found yours. He gave a hum to whoever was on the other end as you wrapped an arm around your shoulders pulling you into his chest.

“Yeah,” he said, and then looking down at you, “I love you too.”

The words sounded heavy as he hung up the phone and pulled you tighter against him.

“Everything alright,” you asked, voiced muffled by your face being pressed against his soft hoodie.

“Yeah everything is fine,” he said.

You pulled away slightly to search his eyes to see if he was lying. There was still some tension in his body.

“It was my mom. Just calling rehab,” he shrugged, “Sounds like she’s doing better. I’ll probably go visit her once classes are done.”

“That’s good news?”

“Yeah it’s good. Really good, just a lot to process,” he said, a bit more confident now, “Everything is good.”

“Okay I’m glad,” you smiled.

You let yourself stay in each other’s embrace for a moment, hearing the soft beating of his heart. Being in a relationship meant being there for one another, so you would stay out despite your stomach growling just to make sure he was fine. His breath tickled the top of your head as he slowly began to relax from the stress the day had brought down upon him.

“Do you want food?” you asked, “I got your favorite fried rice.”

“You are an angel,” Logan hummed, giving you a kiss.

In a blur the fundraiser was in full swing. They had Dean MCing while you and Logan organized the silent auction. Allie and Hannah were serving and Amy and Beau were supposed to be helping Garett and Tucker with extra donations but were too busy flirting with one another than actually talking to other guests.

“Hey,” Jules said, while you were busy counting up the bids.

This was the first time the two of you were actually alone. Every other time there were other people so you never actually got to discuss what happened.

“Hi?”

“Look I just wanted to properly apologize,” they looked around before continuing, “For you know what.”

“Oh,” you said, “It’s alright. I’m over it and I passed on the account.”

“Cool,” Jules nodded, “I feel like I need to explain myself. I think I was a little jealous you were able to garner that much attention without actually drawing attention to yourself. I feel like I’m always chasing a story for Fifth Line, never really handed one.”

You blinked at them and their confession.

“Oh well thanks for your apology,” you said, “And I’ll admit I do keep up Fifth Line.”

Jules just laughed and shook their head.

“Also thanks for giving Logan a second chance. You guys really worked well together.”

You looked over to where Logan was talking to some of the parents. His eyes flicked over to catch yours and he flashed you that beautiful smile that never failed to make your heart swoon.

“Yeah I guess we do.”

Hannah ended up winning the bookstore gift card prize which made you laugh. And Logan’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets seeing the winning bid amount for Bruin tickets Garett managed to negotiate for. Safe to say the night was a success.

In the chaos of laughing, drinking, and talking with all your friends, Logan asked to head outside with you to catch a breath of fresh air.

“You alright?” you asked, making sure the previous phone calls weren't still bothering him.

“Yeah it was just getting loud in there,” Logan hummed, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh I’m all ears,” you smiled, “If it’s about your mom–”

“It’s not that,” Logan cut you off, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Oh ok then what is it? You know I can’t give you hockey tips,” you said.

“I know,” he chuckled, “I was actually considering asking Briar Bitch but I remembered you still haven’t told me who runs the account.”

“It ruins the integrity babe,” you sighed, “Besides if we’re having relationship problems I’d like you to come to me first before asking a google form.”

Logan grinned and gave your forehead a kiss, “No not problems, just something that’s been on my mind about us. And fuck I guess I’m still struggling with now I’m with you here.”

“Ok…” you said, but Logan still stayed silent, “What if I pretended I was Briar Bitch? I’ll turn around and you can ‘anonymously’ ask me anything?”

“You’re a genius.”

He let go of you, entertaining the idea, and spun around so you were facing his back. You stared at his fluffy hair and wide back muscles as he let out a sigh.

“Dear Briar Bitch,” he began, “I’ve never been good at expressing my emotions but there’s this girl. Not even a girl, she's my girlfriend now which is crazy.”

“She’s the funniest and kindest person I have ever met. Giving me a second chance and all. But you know all of that. You also knew that my first message to you was claiming to be in love with someone even though now I know that wasn’t true and me being dramatic.”

You chuckled.

“Anways I’m asking your advice because this time around I truly do think I am in love with this girl. I’m in love with her wit, her smile, her passion for life. The way she teases me and has me wrapped around her finger. And even though I am whipped for her it’s for a good reason because she has never made me feel more seen in my life. So I want to tell her that I love her. I guess just even now I’m afraid because I’ve never felt such an intense vulnerable emotion. Please help a guy out. I love you.”

Logan let out a sigh while you touched your cheek realizing there were tears running down your face. Damn John Logan and his constant ability to be the most romantic person you ever met.

“Are you still there? Did I scare you away?” Logan panicked, spinning around.

His face softened at your teary expression as you let out your own confession.

“My only advice to you is to let yourself feel that love. Because I love you John Logan.”

Before anymore time was wasted, Logan reached out to pull you into a breathtaking kiss. Here you were kissing the man that loved you and loved back. And it was all because of one simple advice request.

A/N: Wow. Bitch to Me Briar is finally complete. I’m so shocked I actually finished it and even more shocked of how much love it’s gotten. Literally thank you to every single person who like, repost, comment it honestly kept me so motivated. I really hoped you enjoy this story. Ugh I literally love you all so freaking much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

In the months after the World Cup frenzy and the spontaneous date you had gone with arguably the world’s best football player, things only got crazier. Said footballer was now your very handsome, very thoughtful, very famous boyfriend. And you were being thrown into a new type of spotlight as not only a WAG but also a model turned movie star with you appearing in the latest Bond film. 

So it had been a crazy year of press conferences, football matches, interviews, escaping the paparazzi. You were ready to rest. Because you and Jude had such insane schedules and constantly traveling around it was harder to see each other like a proper couple. Luckily you both found a couple weeks of overlap and Jude practically begged to have the two of you spend in Los Angeles. He had been upset he couldn’t go with you to the Los Angeles James Bond premiere months earlier so Jude insisted the only way you could make up for it was by letting him move in into your LA home for the next few weeks.  

“I don’t really understand your obsession with this place,” you said, unlocking your home and showing it to him. 

“It’s Hollywood babe,” he grinned.

It was weird having a man here. Let alone a man that was your boyfriend. Jude had visited your place in New York and Milan but never Los Angeles. The place you had grown up. It seemed to feel like another step in the relationship to something more permanent.

You tried not to think about it and led him into the living room where he flopped on the couch, kicking his long legs up on the coffee table. You sat on the cushion next to him but he was quick to wrap his arms around your middle to pull you flush against his side.

“Missed you,” he mumbled into your neck.

“Miss you too,” you sighed, squeezing his hand.

You two enjoyed each other's warmth for a moment, basking in the still silence and soft embrace. It had been weeks since you last saw each other, him being busy with football and you killing the runways in London and Milan.

“So what do you wanna do tomorrow?” you asked, turning slightly to face him.

“Whatever you want,” he shrugged, “Don’t care as long as I’m with you.”

You smiled at his words thinking about possible plans.

“Beach?” you suggested, that was never a bad shout.

“Of course you’d say that,” Jude teased, “Shall we go to Erewhon after and then shop on Rodeo Drive?”

His accent made the joke slightly funnier but now you were a bit peeved at his teasing. When you first got together, Jude seemed to be obsessed with your Americanism in ways you did not understand. Oftentimes he’d mimic your accent and you tried to do it back but failed. Now his latest joke was so unapologetically LA you were after he’d been watching all the old post-modern Hollywood movies. 

“Jeez forgive me and my suggestions,” you grumbled.

“Nah you know you’re my favorite California girl,” he said, tickling your sides.

You squirmed in his hold trying not to give him the satisfaction of laughing. That was one of the things about your relationship that worried you at first. He was England’s golden boy while you were just a regular American. An American who was still a top model but your fame was really only known in the states and some parts of Europe like Milan and Paris.

You saw how people got when the internet’s heartthrob got off the market. You avoided Instagram for nearly a month after paparazzi pictures of you and Jude got leaked at a Louis Vuitton after party. The world could be cruel but Jude made it clear you weren’t alone. He had been through his fair share of media scrutiny and always made sure that even if the world had something to say you were still the one he wanted.

A soft growl interrupted your thoughts when you turned to Jude seeing his cheeks grow a bit pink.

“Hungry?”

“A bit,” he said, “Haven’t eaten since the airport.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you scolded, getting up from the couch.

“Because there were only salad places from the airport to here.”

Well he wasn’t wrong about that.

“You have a palette of a child Jude.”

“I’m an athlete who is craving In and Out.”

“What a tourist,” you teased, “Let me put on some pants if we’re going out.”

You were wearing some disgusting sweats but you figured you two could walk around the shops after a quick bite. Jude gave you an odd look before another grin formed on his lips.

“Pants? Babe, I don't think that’s very appropriate for a night out.”

You rolled his eyes at his teasing as there were some slight language changes to you and Jude’s dialectics. 

“I’m not calling them trousers. They are pants.”

Jude only laughed harder at your annoyance, “You know I wouldn’t mind you flocking around in just pants.”

He wiggled his brows flirtatiously at you, making you roll out of his arms and smack him with the closest throw pillow. He let out a yelp as you scrambled away before he could you again. You were giggling at his perplexed state before he also rose from the couch. 

“You’re going to pay for that!” Jude said, trying to chase you.

You let out a laugh as you ran down the halls towards your bedroom. The joke was on him though since he had no idea how to navigate your house.

You thought you escaped him, diving into your closet to change but a pair of arms grabbed you by the waist as you turned the corner.

“Ah!” you screamed, twisting to see Jude grinning down at you with his arms firmly wrapped around you.

“Gotcha,” he hummed, turning you around to face him, “Time for your punishment for threatening me with an injury.”

“What a baby,” you sighed but you gave in to what he wanted most. 

You angled your head up to press a soft kiss to his lips, cradling his jaw while he pulled you flushed against him. The two of you made out for a few minutes in your closet, your hands running along his jaw and chest while his hands tangled in your hair and pawed at your body. It was only until the sound of stomach rumbling that forced you guys to pull apart, although Jude’s lips still chased yours.

“Let’s eat some real food,” you hummed, wiping off the lipstick stains on Jude’s own lips with your thumb.

Jude playfully tried to bite your thumb but allowed you to change so the two of you could go eat. 

–

It was a well known fact that Jude could not drive. You on the other hand had been navigating the Los Angeles highways since you took the driver’s test the day right after your 16th birthday. You unlocked your convertible which you admit was a pretty LA of you.

“Aren’t I a lucky lad?” he grinned, hoping in the passenger seat, “Got the prettiest girl driving me around.”

“I hope you know that I still find it extremely icky that you still don’t have a license,” you said, rolling your eyes while pulling out of the driveway.

It was pretty nice out so you opened up the car so the light ocean breeze could pass through.

“I’ve spent more time on planes and travel buses than actually cars babe.”

“As much as I hate the paparazzi, I really hope they get an image of this passenger prince over here,” you sighed.

“Then the world would know I’m seeing the most beautiful girl in the world,” he said, always trying to butter you up.

Before you could retaliate your eyes finally registered the traffic ahead of you.

“Ugh the 405 is backed up,” you sighed, “Maybe I can re-route to Venice.”

“I love when you talk about LA navigation babe. So sexy.”

“Jude I swear to god!” you huffed, trying to merge into the congested lane.

“You’re so easy to annoy,” Jude laughed, reaching over the console to take your hand.

You playfully tried to pull away but Jude was stronger and pressed a kiss to your palm. You shot him a glare and he gave you a wink back. Cheeky bastard. 

The rest of the car ride went without much teasing. Jude was taking photos of you in the driver’s seat with the coast in the background. You found it a bit adorable him being in awe of the scenery. 

You pulled into the parking lot, knowing that neither of you had the patience to wait in the drive thru line. Although Jude said before he left he wanted to experience the drive thru which had you rolling your eyes but promising him that. You were going to take him to Chick-fil-a or something. Thankfully the spot you chose was not that crowded as you were already in front in a couple minutes.

“What can I get you?” the cashier asked.

“I’ll do a regular cheeseburger with grilled onions and fries,” you said, “What do you want Jude?”

Jude had an amused glint in his eyes as he began his own order.

“I’ll do a double-double with grilled onions and animal style fries. Oh and I’ll also do a chocolate milkshake.”

The cashier typed in your order and Jude graciously paid for your meals. However as you walked over to an open booth he still had that teasing spark in his eyes.

“What?” you pressed, narrowing your eyes, “What did I do?”

“Apparently you’re going to do a cheeseburger? That’s really interesting babe.”

You blinked at him not even processing how odd that phrasing may seem to a non-American.

“I feel like it’s wrong to make fun of my Americanism when we’re in America,” you sighed, “I’ll allow it when we’re in Europe but we’re on my home turf.”

“Fair enough,” Jude said, holding up his hands in defense, “Just know it's all teasing. I do love your valley girl accent babe.”

“I do not have a valley girl accent!” you exclaimed, although there was some vocal fry in that statement. 

Your number was called out as Jude quickly got up to retrieve your order. Before he immediately dug in he made sure to get one last comment in.

“I don’t have an accent,” he mimicked in an awful impression, “Hate to break it to you but you sound like Elle Woods from that one American college movie. It’s still very cute though.”

He took a bite of his burger, nearly moaning at how good it was. 

“Well you sound like a Peaky Blinder,” you retorted pointing your finger accusingly which made Jude naturally grab your hand and press a kiss to your palm. You pulled away only cause he had sauce on his lips which made him chuckle. 

“I clearly remember you telling me how charming my accent was when we first met.”

“Never happened,” you shook your head even though it was totally true.

Before the two of you could get into another argument a voice called out, 

“Umm could I get a photo with you?”

It was a young girl who looked a bit shy gripping her phone.

“Oh yeah sure,” Jude grinned, “You a Madrid fan?”

“Oh not you,” the girl quickly said, “Her. I love your runways.”

You shot Jude a teasing look before telling the girl yes. You made a point to hand the phone to Jude to take the photo which he did with no complaints. Normally when the two of you were in Madrid, England or other parts of Europe it was you in Jude’s position. To be fair he was like the top footballer in the world. But without fail, anytime the two of you were in America, it was you getting stopped on the streets and you found it hilarious whenever Jude assumed it was for him.

“Thank you!” the girl squeaked before running away.

You let out a chuckle before facing Jude again. His brows were slightly furrowed because most times you got stopped for a photo they would at least ask for a group one after. The two of you had kind of become an it couple which was sort of hilarious in some ways. 

The media painted the two of you as these very put-together couples, with you being a high-fashion model and him being a classy footballer. Oftentimes the top of you were spotted in pristine outfits, tennis matches, or red carpet premieres. While there was nothing wrong with that image, when it was just the two of you it really was like being teenagers in love. You lounged around, watched movies from the couch, ate greasy food, went on late night walks, laughed loudly, and just drove around with no plans in mind. 

“Are you jealous?” you teased, snatching one of his fries.

“Hardly,” he scoffed.

“I’m convinced,” you said, “Better get used to it. I’m quite a big deal around here.”

That was true to Los Angeles. One because you had grown up here and two because of your recent breakthrough in Hollywood. But the World Cup had put some footballers on the map in the U.S., including the Jude, so you wouldn’t be surprised if he also had some local fans. 

“So I heard,” Jude said, “This year’s top model, cover star for over 20 magazines, Victoria Secret Angel, and the newest Bond girl.”

You blushed at his praise. Despite Jude’s own success he did seem marveled at your own fame, it never felt like a competition between the two of you like your past experience dating other celebrities. 

“You forgot to mention WAG,” you laughed, as that was what most sports magazines referred to you as.

“Nah if anything I’m the boyfriend to Vogue's September cover star,” Jude grinned.

You chuckled again, as the two of you finished up your meal. Once you were done, you suggested walking around the plaza. Jude agreed, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing kissing to the top of your head.

After doing a lap around the plaza and giggling about nothing, the two of you walked back to the car. He made a big deal opening your door door only to walk over to the passenger side. You tried hard not to laugh. 

Once at home, the two of you got ready for bed, occasionally brushing against each other or bumping one another’s hips while you changed and brushed your teeth. Tucked underneath the sheets, You snuggled into Jude’s side while looking for a movie to watch.

Jude suggested an old Bond film which you were about to agree to until to realize what day it was.

“Holy shit the Lakers are playing!” you said, immediately switching to ESPN.

As Dean’s younger sister, it was safe to say that you were a bit spoiled. Maybe majorly spoiled. It wasn’t your fault your parents showered you in affection and gifts and having two older brothers also didn’t help with the princess treatment. You never had to worry about anyone messing with you because you had two personal bodyguards who would gladly throw a punch for their younger sister. Despite your upbringing, you were always grateful for everything in your life and because of the love you grew up with you now knew what to expect from others. 

Unfortunately that made the college dating scene extremely hard. It was filled with shitty guys who only wanted to get in your pants and couldn’t even bother to offer to pay for your drink. You were alright paying for your own things but come on at least offer! Dean also became way more protective of you when you came to Briar, partly because of how he navigated the romance scene and knew what dicks boys can be.

“Don’t even think about it,” Dean said to his friends when you left for the bathroom.

This was back when the first time you’d come by the hockey house after transferring to Briar University. Dean was introducing you to his friends and getting ready to throw a welcome party for you in the evening.

“Hey I’m locked in with Hannah,” Garrett said.

“Yeah trust me as much as I love you bro,” Tucker began, “Dating the female version of you sounds like a nightmare.”

“You know I can live with that statement,” Dean nodded.

“Whatcha talking about?” you asked, bouncing back into the room. 

You took the spot next to Logan who graciously pulled out the stool for you to sit on. He gave an awkward smile when you accidentally leaned in a bit too close brushing his shoulder.

“Classes,” Dean said quickly.

“I don’t believe you,” you countered, “Pleaseeee I wanna know the hockey drama!”

Dean rolled his eyes but decided to throw you a bone and explain about the latest scandal Fifth Line had posted about. It just so happened to be about a puck bunny getting mad about a fellow teammate not wanting to commit to them.

You gave your two cents about the situation, explaining how both sides were in the wrong and articulating your own opinion with such grace that the group couldn’t help but be enamored with you. Dean did say you were pre-law. 

“You have me convinced,” Tucker said, now slightly disappointed in his teammate for fucking over the girl.

“No offense I really don’t get the hype around you guys,” you said, waving your hand at the group.

“That’s because you like it when a guy is at your beck and call and acts as your personal servant,” Dean snorted, “We don’t have time for that.”

“Ugh I feel so bad for all the girls you terrorize," you sighed.

“Hey I haven’t received any complaints,” Dean said.

“Yeah yeah,” you said teasingly

“But I’m patient,” you continued, “One day I’ll find the right guy.”

“You’re probably gonna have to wait until after law school,” Dean joked, earning a laugh from the guys and a groan from you. 

Little did you know your perfect guy was the man who was sitting right next to you, looking at you with puppy eyes and a small grin. 

—

“Logannnnn,” you whined from your bed.

You were currently snuggled in the sheets while your boyfriend was at your dresser trying to fix one of the drawers.

“What is it baby?” he asked, tongue sticking out trying to screw in the loose panel.

“Are you almost done? I wanna show you the new clothes I wanna get,” you sighed, computer perched on your lap.

You had been enjoying the view of your boyfriend fixing up the dresser you had been complaining about for the past few days. His biceps flexed with every screw he turned and there was something so sexy about a man who was handy. But now you were bored and feeling a little bit lonely even though Logan was only a few feet away.

You and Logan had been secretly seeing each other for the past few weeks and it’s honestly been the best time of your life. He was your perfect match, a relationship blossoming out of mutual respect and friendship. You both decided to keep a secret as Dean would probably freak out knowing his best friend was seeing his little sister, and though neither you hadn’t said it out loud the secrecy was a major turn on. Now Logan spent his evenings camping out in your room as the guys thought he was spending it in the garage or the rink. 

“Give me one,” he let out a grunt popping the panel into place, “Second. There we go.”

He rose from his kneeling position giving the drawer a test. When it seemed to be working properly he looked over to give you a smile.

“Now your going out tops shouldn't fall out anymore,” he grinned, sauntering over to the bed where you lifted the covers for him to join.

“Yay! That means I can finally buy more,” you giggled, as Logan pressed a quick kiss to your temple before wrapping his arms around your shoulder to tuck you into his side.

“Thank you my sexy handyman,” you said, pressing a kiss to his chest.

“No problem baby.”

Logan had always been good with his hands. And well. You could barely unclog a toilet. So when Dean mentioned one of his friends happened to be well versed in pipes and cars you found yourself a new person to have at your beck and call. It was a bonus Logan didn’t seem to mind one bit. Even before the two of you started sneaking around.

“Sorry for bothering you with this,” you said, “But you are the only handyman I know.”

You had called earlier about a leak in your sink that was slowly starting to turn your bathroom into a lake. At this point, you had a small crush on Logan from his soft hair and cute smile. He would also always be the one to offer to get you a drink at the bar or drive you home which you thought was so gentlemanly of him. This was the third time he’d been over to fix something at your place. 

“Don’t worry about it princess,” he said, rolling up his sleeves to inspect the damage, “Can’t have you drowning.”

There was also that nickname he gave you after you dressed up at Princess Peach at Dean and Beau’s birthday party. While your parents and brothers called you a princess to make fun of you, coming from Logan made your heart flutter and cheeks warm. That was also the same party you and Logan spent dancing with one another even though nothing else happened.

“Do you need me to help with anything?” you asked from a safe distance.

Logan had situated himself underneath the cabinet with only his bottom half sticking out. His tools were scattered across the wet floor. You tried not to stare at the strip of skin that revealed itself as he went to work.

“Nah just keep yourself dry for me,” Logan hummed.

So you decided to saunter off and order some lunch. You figured you could extend your Logan time if you lured him with food and it would be a nice way to repay him. After placing the order, you walked back towards the bathroom to check on Logan. You could see the back of his shirt was damp from lying on the floor but he seemed to be finishing up as he was now upright turning off and on the sink. 

“You should be all set,” Logan said, catching your eye in the mirror.

“Thank you! You’re a life saver,” you beamed, pulling him into a quick hug and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Umm do you want a dry shirt? I think I have some of Dean’s clothes here,” you asked, realizing you might’ve crossed some touch boundary .

“Sure,” Logan said as you ran off to find him a clean piece of clothing. 

When you came back, Logan decided to strip right in front of you as if it didn’t make your heart go crazy. His chiseled chest on display made it nearly impossible to focus on anything else. 

“You’re staring,” Logan teased, shrugging on the clean shirt.

Your cheeks warmed and your eyes darted to the floor. Normally you weren’t this shy around guys. Normally you were witty and confident but something about Logan’s pretty eyes and wicked smile made you off your game.

“Can you blame a girl?” you mumbled to yourself, walking away, "Anyways I ordered food but you don’t have to sta–.”

Before you could probably escape to the kitchen, Logan’s arm reached out to grab your wrist. In a gentle tug he brought your bodies inches apart as his other hand went to brush a hair out of your face.

“Logan?” you asked, eyes darting back between his eyes and lips.

“Dean is gonna kill me,”  he breathed before pressing his soft lips against yours.

“Ok show me what you were looking at,” Logan said, placing your computer on his own lap so you could cuddle comfortably.

“I wanted to get this,” you said, it was a halter top that had a low plunge which Logan knew would make him go crazy as soon as you wore it.

“I just don’t know what color,” you huffed, clicking through the options, “Can you pass me my water bottle?”

Logan obeyed as he pretended to focus on the different colors.

“You look good in any color,” Logan hummed, playing with your hair.

“Ugh you’re not so not helpful,” you grumbled, making Logan laugh. 

You handed back the water bottle without a word which Logan knew to return back to the nightstand. You were so easy to rile up so Logan always had a fun time teasing you. 

“I think you look best in brown,” Logan ended up saying which had to immediately add the option to your cart.

“Ok and how about this one,” you said, showing him another crop top that he admitted, looked the same as all the other shirts stuffed in your drawer right now. 

“Don’t you already have that?”

“No this is obviously different,” you said, “See the material is silk.”

Logan gave a nod like he understood and pointed to the purple colored option as that was the one he decided you’d look best in. You smiled and also added it into your cart. You would probably call him over to do a fashion show for him once the packages arrived.

“Yay I’m satisfied now,” you grinned, “Oh I also remembered I got you something.”

“Really?”

If Logan’s love language was acts of service, yours was definitely gift giving. In the beginning Logan was a bit insecure about not being able to shower you with expensive gifts like you were used to. But that all melted away when you literally would squeal and kiss him when he did just about anything nice. Especially like fixing up things in your apartment or showing up unexpectedly with your favorite takeout. 

“I didn’t know your favorite flower so I got all of them,” Logan said sheepishly, handing you a very colorful bouquet on your second date.

“Logan, that is the sweetest thing ever!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “No one’s ever done anything like this for me.”

“Glad you like it,” he grinned.

“I freaking love it,” you squealed, putting your nose to the bouquet to take in the floral scent, “Everyone always tells me flowers are impractical but I think they make the best decoration. Can you grab my purse, I’m gonna put this in my room.”

Now Logan made it a habit of dropping off flowers every week so you always had a full vase in your room. How could you not be obsessed with him and spoil him back?

You quickly reached over on your side of the bed to reveal a small gift bag.

“When I was out looking for a birthday present for Delia, this suit store was doing free cufflinks engravings,” you said, handing him a small box.

He opened it slowly to reveal a pair of silver square cufflinks with a small number 22 engraved in the corner. He held up the pieces of silver feeling a bit emotional as you looked at him with bright eyes. They were definitely expensive but you seemed to have no problem with that.

“You have that athlete formal coming up so I thought it might be practical,” you smiled.

Logan’s heart squeezed at your thoughtfulness. It was easy to categorize you as a spoiled brat if they didn’t know you but you were also so inclined to spoil the people you loved as well. Not just by paying the bill but actually giving meaningful items. Logan’s closet got a major upgrade after he started seeing you.

“Thank you princess. These are really nice,” he hummed, giving you a kiss. You smiled until he tried deepening the kiss which had you pulling away and him pouting.

“I also got you something a bit silly,” you said shyly, “But I couldn’t help myself, it was so cute.”

You reached into the bag to reveal a small plush puck toy with big bead eyes and little legs. It was pretty adorable.

“One store had a jellycat puck!” you said, handing it over proudly.

The gift was much more entertaining to you than to Logan but he accepted it gratefully, looking at the little guy in his palm. Your own room was adored with stuffed animals and plushies that you’ve collected throughout the years. 

“You can put it on your desk, or even your gear bag as a good luck charm,” you babbled, clearly very excited.

Logan chuckled and set aside the puck and the laptop to his side so he could playfully tackle you and properly thank you for the gifts.

“Thank you.” Kiss

“Best girlfriend ever.” Kiss

“I love you.” Kiss

“Love you too,” you grinned.

Logan decided to start tickling you as you were just so cute smiling up at him. You laughed and squirmed under his hold, your cheeks growing redder as Logan kept showering you with complaints. He was still the only guy to make you feel nervous and shy even after seeing each other for two almost three months.

There was a chime from your phone. Logan unwrapped himself from your body to grab it for you since you were so comfortable tucked by his side. You gave him a kiss on his jaw when he handed it to you, snuggling even closer.

“Oh it’s Beau and Dean,” you said, eyes scanning the text.

Beau

Hear me out. What if we all went on a triple blind date?????

Bigger Bro

Not happening.

Beau

This a sibling thing or an avoidant attachment thing

Bigger Bro

Sibling thing. I’d be down for a double blind date

You

I am not interested. And probably never will be.

Beau

Come on it’ll be so fun!! I already have a guy for you! And you can be so kind as to set me up with your ginger friend. And Dean isn’t picky

Bigger Bro

Hey! No slut shaming

“What is it?” Logan hummed.

“Just Beau being stupid,” you said, turning your phone for Logan to read the text.

“A triple date?” Logan hummed in a tone that you couldn’t quite read.

“Literally my worst nightmare,” you grumbled, “Although maybe I will set up Beau with Carly. They seem to match each other's vibe.”

“Who is he trying to set you up with?”

“Don’t know, don't care,” you said, “I also don’t think my super handsome boyfriend would want me going on dates.”

“Damn right he doesn’t,” Logan murmured into your hair.

Logan didn’t say anything else except squeeze you a bit tighter as you fired off more excuses of why you couldn’t partake in the dating. He wondered if maybe it was time to make the relationship known as he couldn’t bear the thought of the world not knowing you were his. It wasn’t that he was insecure, it was just small things like being able to hold your hand in the library or actually kissing you at a party when you were dressed up that made him more confident in standing up to Dean. He so badly wanted to see you at a game in his jersey and to be able to point to you anytime he scored.

“Do you have practice tomorrow?” you asked, snapping him out his thoughts.

“No, I'm supposed to go to the garage in the afternoon. You can come if you want.”

Though you tried to act like you rather be anywhere else than a car garage Logan knew you loved watching work on cars. Sometimes he would teach you some of the basics to car mechanics even though you had top notch car insurance and would probably never ever have to change your own tire. Still he would spend every waking minute with you even if that meant he was doing an oil change while you painted for nails, took over the garage aux, or studied out loud for your classes. 

“Maybe,” you hummed, before asking, “Does that mean you can sleepover tonight?” 

Since your relationship was a secret, overnights together were rare as Logan always needed to be back at the house to get ready for hockey. But tonight seemed to be a lucky one.

“Of course,” he hummed, “We can make a day out of it.”

“Yes!” you said, snuggling closer, “Do you want to watch a movie tonight then?”

“I wouldn’t want anything more,” Logan sighed.

You pointed to your laptop which Logan put back on his lap while you leaned over and typed in your Netflix password. Logan let you pick because you were much more opinionated about movies than he ever would be and it was a worthy sacrifice to sit through a rom-com if it meant he could watch you smile and point out how all the couples were just like the two of you. 

As the opening credits rolled in Logan focused on the feeling of your body pressed against his and your freshly manicured nails tracing patterns into his chest. He would rather have a secret relationship with you than not having you at all. 

—

A few nights later the group all decided to go out to Malone’s. It was a rare moment that everyone seemed to have no midterms, projects, or big games coming up. You were sitting in between Beau and Dean while Tucker, Allie, and Logan were across from you. Hannah and Garrett pulled up one chair to share which was disgustingly cute and made you a bit jealous you couldn’t do the same with Logan. Occasionally Logan’s knee would bump yours that made you smile to yourself.

Right now Logan was up at the bar getting himself a drink and you one as well as you asked so kindly. 

“You need to stop letting her boss you around,” Dean chided as Logan handed you a beer.

“God forbid a guy is nice to me,” you said, sticking out your tongue at your brother. If only he knew how much Logan was actually whipped for you he’d freak out.

Logan gave you a sly smirk, taking a swing of his own beer and his knee bumping yours again from under the table.

“So you’re not interested in Justin,” Beau said, resuming the conversation from before.

Logan took another long sip of his beer and Dean rolled his eyes.

“Absolutely not,” you said, scrunching your nose a bit, “Musicians are so not it.”

“I feel like you shut down every guy I try to set you up with,” Beau said.

Your eyes drift to Logan as he pretends to be interested in the posters on the wall.

“No one is asking you to set me up.”

“Beau, I already told you that she would eat Justin alive. She’s too high maintenance”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked.

“That you order guys around like they're your servant. Like poor Logan has been up three times getting you something.”

“Hey I don’t mind,” Logan shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” you still mumbled, feeling a bit bad now.  

What if Dean was right? Maybe Logan was only putting up with you now until he got sick of you ordering him around. That’s how it always seemed to be with guys. Guys who showered you with affection until they got too comfortable or too fed up.

“First time I ever heard her willing to apologize to a man,” Beau laughed, making your cheeks grow red.

Despite Logan’s hand giving your knee a small tap underneath the table, you couldn’t look up to meet his gaze. 

—

Later that night, Logan offered to drive you home which started a whole other round of comments from Beau. Dean seemed a bit more appreciative that his little sister was getting home safe. You didn’t retaliate with your usual bite, clearly a bit tired from the night.

“Am I high maintenance?” you huffed, changing into pajamas once you were in the room.

Logan was watching you from the bed seeing the slight hurt in your face that never really went away since Dean’s comment.

“Yes,” he said, which made you look over startled, “But I wouldn’t want it any other way.

It was true. He loved spoiling you in any way he could.

You carefully walked over to the bed, with a little pout on your lips. Logan immediately pulled you in his lap, as you looked down at your hands.

“You know you can say no to me,” you mumbled, “I know I can be bossy.”

“Aww baby,” he cooed, pressing a kiss to your temple, “Yeah I know but maybe I just like when you boss me around. I like doing things for you.”

“You’re not just saying that,” you said, finally looking at him. You had a cute pout on your face that always made Logan melt. Dean’s comment must’ve really hit a nerve cause he’s never seen you like this. You were normally so confident.

“Of course not. You know I’m crazy about you,” he hummed, pressing kisses all over your jaw, “You’re my favorite girl to spoil.”

You giggled, shifting slightly so you could be more comfortable.

“Dean is such an ass,” you huffed, “He’s also just as spoiled! If not worse.”

“You’re pretty hard to beat princess,” Logan laughed, squeezing your waist which made you playfully flick his forehead

“Growing up he would throw a fit if his sandwiches were cut diagonally. Hah if only he knew I found a guy that does like spoiling me,” you continued, playing with Logan’s hair.

“Are you implying we tell Dean about our little situation?,” Logan said while you gave an innocent shrug, “Don’t tempt me, you know I wouldn’t mind showing you off.

“I wouldn’t mind that either,” you agreed, “And honestly I think we should tell everyone. Everyone is going to be so jealous because of what a hot couple we are. I’m also so sick of Beau teasing me for being single,” you said.

“Yeah I fucking hate when he tries setting you up,” Logan grumbled, turning the two of you so you could both lay in bed.

“Ooo I’m sensing some jealousy,” you giggled.

“Just don’t like my girl is being asked if she’s seeing other guys. I’m the only one who made it through the battle.”

“My knight in shiny armor,” you dramatically sighed, “But it is true. You’re the only one for me.”

You hugged him tighter, putting your face into his neck to breathe him in. Logan loved it when you were clingy, he was such a lucky guy to have a girl like you so the fact you were equally as obsessed made his heart soar.

“Same here princess,” Logan sighed, squeezing you back.

“I can’t wait to see the look on Dean’s face when he sees I actually found a guy to put up with me.”

“Why do I feel like a pawn in your sibling feud? Wait, I forgot that there’s a very high chance Dean might kill me.”

“Don’t be silly” you hummed, “He knows that’ll make me really upset and then I’ll snitch on him to our parents about what an awful older brother he is.”

“Wow, that really calms my nerves, babe.”

“You could totally take Dean in a fight,” you assured, squeezing his biceps, “You’re way more built!”

Logan flexed his arms which made you blush and giggle.

“You know I’m ok with Dean fighting me if it means you can finally sleep over at my place.”

“Ewww but the house is so dirty! My place is so much nicer.”

“So fucking spoiled,” Logan grumbled even though it had no bite. You just playfully rolled your eyes, stuffing your face further into his side enjoying his warmth.

“Can you turn off the light Logan?” you said, voice muffled, “I’m kinda sleepy.”

“Sure thing princess.”

He pressed one more kiss to your forehead before murmuring a goodnight.

Tomorrow you’ll tell Dean. And then he can properly show you off to the world.

—

It was around dinner time when you and Logan got back to the hockey house. Tucker was making something that smelled great and everyone else was lounging around.

Dean looked behind his shoulder and greeted Logan before doing a double take seeing you were right behind him.

“What were you two doing?” he asked as Garrett, Tucker, and Hannah all looked in your direction.

“Well there’s no easy way to say this,” you sighed, stepping in between the two guys knowing Dean was less likely to swing at you than Logan. But the two of you had gotten into a fair share of scuffles when you were younger.

“We’re dating,” Logan said, ripping off the band-aid, “Go ahead and yell at me but your sister got me whipped.”

Instead of anger Dean’s face morphed into a smile.

“Told ya,” Dean called back to where Beau and Tucker were sitting, “You owe me fifty bucks Beau.”

“I’m sorry what?” you scoffed.

“Dude you’re literally carrying her purse right now,” Dean laughed as Logan quickly hid your handbag behind his back, “You guys are the most obvious people ever.”

“How long have you known?” Logan asked.

“What I’m assuming you got together sometime after you fixed her sink? You came home with lipstick stains on your neck, idiot. And I found her sweater in your glove compartment. Not to mention you've been dressing way better these past few weeks”

“Umm so why didn’t you say anything?” you pressed, “Sneaking around for no good reason while I could’ve been flaunting my hot boyfriend around campus.”

“Beau and I had a bet to see how long you would last before telling me. Decided we should spare the public of your PDA,” Dean shrugged, “I am a little hurt it took three months but glad that Logan has stuck around long enough.”

Logan wrapped an arm around your waist to prove that point.

“And why are you always trying to set me up then?” you accused Beau.

“Decided if you were gonna keep a secret we might as well mess with you back,” he said, “I thought you guys would crack at month two but hey congrats.”

“Ugh you guys are so annoying!” you exclaimed, grabbing Logan’s hand, “Is dinner ready then?”

Logan kept his promise in taking things slow. 

Your first date was him taking you to an art exhibit you had mentioned on the off hand during your carpooling to Hastings Elementary. He picked you up from your dorm which had Allie and Hannah being annoyingly happy about the situation. Even though he was dressed the same, leaning against the same truck that drove you around Hastings, seeing him outside your dorm knowing he was here for a date with you made your heart flutter.

“You look nice,” he smiled, giving you a polite side hug greeting which you appreciated.

“Thanks,” you said, as he jogged around to open up your door.

The gallery was everything you imagined and more. It had been awhile since you’ve been to a museum with someone, normally opting for solo trips, but Logan was good company.

“The colors are beautiful,” you sighed, getting as close to the paintings as you could without getting yelled at by the security.

“Yeah I really like this style,” Logan smiled, shoulder brushing yours as he leaned close.

You missed him sneaking a few photos of you looking at the art, but he saw those images for himself as a reminder how lucky he got. 

You felt a bit shy making him walk around a gallery but he followed you with patience and let you explain to him all the history and techniques behind each article. If he seemed bored he didn’t show it at all.

When he dropped you back off at your dorm and walked you to your dorm, you both stood in front of each other for a moment. For the first time you realized he was nervous, hands shoved into his pockets.

“Thank you for giving me a chance,” he smiled, “I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” you said, fiddling with your hair.

It was actually one of the most thoughtful date you ever been on but you still felt like you need to keep him on his toes.

“Would you be interested in going out with me again?”

You pretended to think about it which had Logan press his lips into a thin line waiting for your answer.

“Yeah I think I would like that,” you said.

“You think?” he teased.

You gave him a playful shrug which made him chuckle. Before he could say anything else, you leaned to give him a kiss on the cheek. If he was disappointed not scoring an actual kiss on the first date he didn’t show it. Instead he looked more than happy just knowing that he was spending time with you.

“I’ll text you about this second date we will be having,” he sighed, “Good night.”

“Good night Logan,” you smiled.

He watched you walk into the building and you waited until you were safely in the walls of your dorm let your face morph into the biggest grin that you were trying to hide. 

–

Your second date was technically a studying one in the library which was spent doing absolutely no studying. Logan kept distracting you by playing with your hair and telling you about all the things he had seen in the past few days that reminded him of you.

“There was a bird that flew into the rink yesterday,” he said, arm draped across the back of your chair, “Definitely wasn’t a boring sparrow but I didn’t get a photo.”

“Well that’s very helpful,” you sighed, scrolling through the latest articles you needed to read for class. 

“Oh also we have a game on Friday,” he said.

His voice trailed off as you looked up at him from your notes. You found it kind of adorable how nervous he got. You knew it was because he didn’t want to mess up but you were so used to seeing a cocky John Logan that it made you feel a bit prideful that you were the one making him into a mess.

“I know,” you said teasingly.

“Umm you should come,” he said, “I mean you normally do anyways but I thought I’d ask just to make sure.”

You giggled at his rambling as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah I’ll be there,” you said.

That bright smile flashed across his face which made your heart flutter. Feeling a bit more confident you grabbed your chair to pull closer to his own so that your thighs were pressed against each other. He reached out to tuck a piece of stray hair behind your ear which had your face grow hot.

“Look out for the goal I score,” he said with a grin.

–

The next time you went out on a proper date was a simple dinner and it was genuinely the best meal you ever had in Hastings. You had been busy with your midterms which Logan made a point to accompany you in the library whenever he could. You could feel yourself starting to opening up to him more, less afraid of what could happen and enjoying the moment.

"You're a very good listener," you said, ranting about how awful your midterm went.

"Thanks you just happened to be a very interesting talker," he smiled, bumping your knee from underneath the table, “But I don't think you did bad."

"You didn't see the test Logan," you sighed, "I fucking hate philosophy."

"Rest in power Socrates," Logan joked which made you roll your eyes.

"If it makes you feel any better I have an econ paper up and I haven't started," Logan said.

"Why would that make me feel better?" you scoffed jokingly.

"Knowing that you're definitely the smarter one in the relationship," he grinned.

The word relationship made your heart stutter. Even though you both agreed to take it slow there was no denying where the two of you were heading. You thought about Amy’s advice about being willing to accept love and she was right. You could’ve easily avoided seeing Logan again after the first date but after his confession in the bookstore, seeing him so vulnerable, it made you feel okay with exposing a bit of yourself to him as well.

Neither of you mentioned it as you continued your conversation about everything and nothing. You both talked about the fundraiser and fashion show coming up in a couple weeks.

“How intense is this leopard situation?” Logan asked, pushing his plate of fries towards you. You were previously upset that your own meal hadn’t come with a side so Logan ordered your favorite sweet potato fries to share. You didn’t know he hated sweet potatoes. You didn’t need to know.

“Very. You’ve met Katie, she doesn’t do anything halfway.”

“As long as it’s not spandex,” Logan sighed, “And none of the hockey guys are allowed to have their phones.”

“You’re no fun,” you groaned as Logan grinned at you. However you were still in the mood to tease.

“I guess this is our last date. Such a shame I was starting to like you,” you sighed, purposely turning away from Logan.

A quick look of hurt flashed across his face as he said, “Aww come on,” but you just crossed your arms.

“Fine I’ll allow photos. No videos though. And Jules cannot post about it.”

You laughed at how easy he folded which made him narrow his eyes at you.

“That was quick,” you giggled, “I bet I can make you do anything now.”

“I thought that was clear when you got me willingly coaching middle schoolers on the weekends,” Logan said.

“You didn’t even know that was me,” you said.

“Still even when I didn't know I still knew to listen,” he shrugged, “By the way how is that going?”

“The account?”

“Yeah. Jules post didn’t mess anything up right?” he said, his hand creeping across the table to brush against your fingers, “They are sorry I think. I still don’t really know their obsession with the account.”

“It’s fine,” you shrugged, over it, “The account is under new management anyways.”

“Really?” Logan said in shock, “Don’t tell me it was because of me?”

“It was a number of things,” you said honestly, “It just didn’t feel the same running when I first started. I think it was slowly starting to eat me up inside and I realized there’s probably better outlets for me.”

Logan gave a supportive nod, reaching out to squeeze your hand. He had already paid for the check when you went to the bathroom earlier so he guided the two of you out of the restaurant. The night was cool but your hands were still intertwined as you walked to the car.

You gave him a smile and a shiver ran down your spine. Logan instantly shrugged off his jacket and put it around your shoulders. Now you both were inches apart so that you could smell his cologne.

“You wanna know now who runs it don’t you?” you teased at his silence since the previous conversation.

“Hey, can you blame a guy for being curious?” Logan exclaimed, “It might be nice to know who’s behind the screen now in case I need help planning our next date. Or maybe even an anniversary down the line.”

“Wow you’re really thinking ahead now,” you laughed, but your heart still skipped a beat realizing Logan was really serious about his future with you.

“I told you I was gonna do it right,” Logan said, “You look really pretty by the way. You always look pretty. I should tell you that more often.”

“You really know how to lay it on thick,” you joked.

“Can’t a guy admire his girl?”

“I’m your girl now?”

“Well in due time yes. I see it in the very near future but for now I’ll just be your man.”

“My man?” you chuckled, “You make it sound like I have a new toy.”

“I’m all yours. Even if after tonight you decide to stop going out with me I’ll be yours,” he said with a small sigh, “You’re it for me.”

“Well we haven’t even kissed. What if I’m a horrible kisser and you decide I can’t be your girl.”

“Then we should figure that out sooner rather than later,” he grinned, hands around your waist already pulling you closer.  

You leaned in to press your lips to his. The short stubble on his chin tickled your face as his hands came up to cup your jaw. Your own hands tangled in his hair, pulling your bodies flushed against each other. You kept kissing in the moonlight until eventually you needed to come up for air.

Best kiss ever.

“Yeah I didn’t have any doubt,” he grinned before kissing you again.

–

Despite Logan being 90 percent sure that you were his, he was still nervous about the situation. His mind kept thinking about the kiss from two nights ago, how soft your lips were and that he could taste the vanilla gloss you had just applied. Man he was obsessed. And lucky. So fucking lucky. 

Which is why he needed to make sure tonight was great. The Hawks win and he finally asks you to be his girlfriend. He brought over an extra jersey to your dorm earlier but you weren’t home. Allie teased him before promising to pass along the message. But there was no set way in knowing you would actually wear it. 

His legs bounced nervously in the locker room as Coach Jenson gave their final pep talk before the game. It shouldn’t be a hard game but Logan did promise you a goal which would be embarrassing if he didn’t deliver.

“Hey there lover boy,” Dean teased, patting his back as they walked out the locker room, “Heard you got a special fan wearing your jersey in the crowd tonight.”

Logan looked over with a confused look, “How do you know that?”

Dean’s face dropped as he quickly said, “Thought I might’ve seen her walking in.”

Logan didn’t think much of Dean’s statement as he was now excited to see you in his jersey. 

The noise of the arena was loud as he followed his teammates onto the ice. His eyes scanned the crowd for another 22. After a few minutes of head swiveling he spotted your face in between Allie and Amy with a big smile. Sure enough your body was engulfed by the large jersey with his number plastered on the front. 

You gave him a shy wave before continuing your clapping with the crowd. Logan couldn’t stop smiling as he skated past where you were sitting to give you a quick wink. Garrett did yell at him to get into position after but it was so worth it.

It wasn’t a difficult game but Logan still hadn’t scored as they moved into the final period. He knew that you didn’t really care but there could be a chance you’d tease him to death after so he needed to eradicate that possibility. He was a man of his word.

Thankfully the third period began to pick up with only a few minutes left on the clock. Logan skated down the rink looking for an opening so Garrett could pass. In a quick turn, Logan blurred past his defender and Garrett shot the puck right in his direction. Like all the times in practice, Logan swung at the puck with a loud crack. The black object flew straight past the goalie straight into the net, the sound of the buzzer confirmed the goal.

Garrett engulfed Logan into a celebratory hug but Logan’s attention was somewhere else. Not focused on the goal, his team, or even the crowd chanting his name. His eyes narrowed in on where you had jumped to your feet cheering so loud your cheeks were bright red. 

He pointed his glove right at you, confirming that he followed through on all his promises.

–

After the game, Hannah, Allie, Amy, and you were waiting behind to meet up with the guys to go to Malone’s. The team slowly trickled out as you said your polite congrats to the other members and promised to see them later at the bar. 

Dean and Tucker emerged first which you and girls gave them high fives and hugs before Garrett came out making Hannah sprint to him. You looked over their shoulders in search of the person you wanted to see. His jersey clung to your frame as the smell of his cologne was wrapped around you. 

John Logan emerged from the tunnel, his hair damp and duffel bad in hand. He looked a little short of breath but his eyes lit up when he met your gaze. You couldn’t help but smile as he approached you, stopping just inches away from you to take in you in his jersey.

“Cute outfit,” he hummed, arm gripping your waist through the thick fabric. 

“Thanks,” you said, “Found it on my bed today. Very weird. I don't remember buying it.”

“So weird,” he murmured before pressing a kiss to your lips cause he couldn't help himself.

You reacted immediately, wrapping your arms around his neck. Logan was trying to deepen the kiss until an awkward cough cut through the tension.

“So we’re gonna go to Malone’s,” Tucker said, “Go ahead and continue sucking face.”

The whole group was staring at you with knowing grins and wide eyes. You felt your cheeks heat up, always a bit shy, mumbling an apology.

“Don’t apologize,” Logan said, squeezing your side, guiding the two of you to follow your friends, “Let them be jealous.”

“Can’t believe I’ve become someone who does PDA,” you groaned, trying to hide your face in his side.

“Oh this is just the beginning baby,” he grinned, wrapping his arm around your shoulders feeling like the luckiest guy in the world.

Next Part

A/N: Hiiiii here's a cute fluffy part before the last chapter!! Omg that's so crazy to think I'm basically done with this series. I'll save my thank yous for the next chapter but enjoy!!!!

It was certainly interesting to watch soccer football become a thing in your home city because of the World Cup. Los Angeles has always been a place for the Lakers and Dodgers in which you had a fair amount of ticket stubs and merch to prove your loyalties to the sports but soccer never did catch on for you. Even though you played growing up, LA Galaxy was kind of just a billboard to pass by whenever you were home.

However that seemed to change overnight as thousands of fans from all over the world flooded to the streets of North America to watch their home country battle it out for a global title. You remember watching the last season while still in college, staying up late in the dorms to follow along, so it was nice now that all the fun was in your area.

Thankfully your career as a successful fashion model made it easy enough to grab tickets to the first USA game. Being in that crowded was such a blast you immediately checked your modeling schedule to see if you could catch any other games. Safe to say you were obsessed. Not even with any particular team but just the culture around it. You were lucky to be well traveled being a model but it was so amazing to see all walks of life navigate the areas you were used to calling home.

Lucky for you, your photoshoot for Calvin Klein happened to overlap on the week England played Panama. And if you timed it correctly you could be back in your NYC apartment from Paris fashion week just in time for the final in July. You texted some of your friends in New York asking if they’d be interested in watching the game. Unfortunately most of your friends were traveling for the summer except one, Vanessa who was an influencer. 

Vanessa

Well the Knicks won the championships and I no longer have more basketball to watch so maybe this could fill the void.

You

I hope you’re ok with non court side tickets lol

Vanessa was dating a CEO of a tech start-up, Phillip, in New York who loved to spoil her with sports tickets and designer bags even though Vanessa made enough to get by herself. You thought it was sweet and secretly wished for a similar relationship but the dating scene was rough for you. Not that you had any problem with being approached, it was normally the events after that made you single for the past few years.

Male models lacked personality and ended up getting really competitive. Business men also scared you with their finance talk. You tried dating a “regular” guy but he ended up being so weirded out by your popularity and status that it was better to end than keep going. You've been hit up by a couple of actors that were way too old to be having Instagram. And athletes were another dimension you felt you didn't even want to step foot in. A few of your friends had been caught up with football (America) and basketball players and those relationships never ended well for the girls. 

Vanessa

You think so lowly of me. I was a big frequenter of nosebleeds until I met Phillip. Also I heard the England team is hawttttt.

You

I don’t know if I should tell Phillip about this. My loyalty is to you obviously but Phillip is great competition in Catan.

Vanessa

Glad it was a board game that finally made you warm up to him. But he agrees with me and is sad can't make it. Search up player 10 on England ;)

You giggled at Vanessa's text but still let your curiosity get the best of you. On a Google tab you searched up the England roster and scrolled down through the line up.

Number 10 - Jude Bellingham.

Oh shit.

Vanessa was right. A headshot image of Bellingham stared back at you. Pretty eyes, good facial structure, and a gorgeous pair of lips. 

You looked at his stats out of curiosity and had to check your eyes seeing how accomplished he was at such a young age. Technically he was your age but models always started out young so being as successful in your industry at 22 wasn’t something out of the ordinary. 

You spent the night stalking his Instagram page and watching clips of the England team practicing. Based on the interview clips you’ve seen of Bellingham you could tell he carried himself with a humble mindset and a passionate drive. 

Handsome and talented. Dangerous combo. You had to click the follow button making you slightly embarrassed to be a fan. But it was safe to say you now had a tiny celebrity crush. 

The day of the match finally came as you and Vanessa eagerly navigated the MetLife stadium. The decision to put New Jersey/New York was one you still found funny.

You were repping a plain England jersey which you justified with the fact you had studied abroad there in college. London was a pretty awesome part of your life and it was where you had gotten scouted as a model. Your dream was to have a permanent place there once you settled more into your career. But for now you enjoyed crashing with friends during the London fashion weeks.

“Man it’s hot,” Vanessa hummed, fanning herself, “These seats are great. Don’t know why you were making it seem like we were miles away.”

“I know you’re just used to players running into you sitting courtside so I had to prepare you that you might have to squint to see the players this time,” you joked.

As the match began you couldn’t help but track number 10 on the field. Something about watching him sprint down the field, muscles flexed and face concentrated only made your crush grew.

“We’re on the screen!” Vanessa laughed, pointing to the Jumbotron.

Sure enough a larger image of you and Vanessa was projected on with both your names and occupations. You smiled and held up a little finger heart you had started doing with your friends.

“Looks like this game brought some models out of the runway,” the commentator said, which made you and Vanessa laugh.

Only because the next fashion week was next week in Paris which was definitely going to be a week for sure. You were glad that being more established now you could be a bit more flexible with how many shows you walked. Also you were recently signed onto an acting agency, so a majority of your career priorities have slightly shifted. 

Meanwhile on the field Jude was catching his breath as he rushed to get water for the hydration break. He looked up at the screen to see some fans for moral support but he ended up nearly choking on his drink.

Because there on the screen was the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. Wearing an England jersey.

You were doing some strange hand gesture to the camera which he realized was a tiny heart making him smile. He read out your name and occupation to himself. You must’ve been a big name in the States as the crowd cheered loudly as you smiled and the commentators talked about your surprise appearance at the game.

You gave one last encouraging tap to the three lion crests on your jersey before you and your friend blew a kiss to the screen.

That’s when Jude knew he was a goner.

“The athleticism is kinda crazy,” Vanessa commented, peering over to watch the players indulge in the last few moments of their hydration break.

“Yeah I mean they run three miles if not more per game,” you said, “I did not enjoy those running drills back in high school.”

“Did you ever think you’d play professionally?”

“Oh god no,” you laughed, “I was really happy to be on the bench.”

“Who knows instead of being the face of Dior you could be playing for the US in the World Cup,” Vanessa teased.

“And embarrass my country with how unathletic I am. These legs were made for walking in heels, not running.”

Your eyes drifted back to the large screen where they were panning to the players. The camera lingered on Jude in the middle of him wiping his face with the bottom of his jersey. Giving the audience the perfect shot of his toned stomach.

“Fuck me,” you whispered as a couple other women around you also smiled and clapped at the view.

“Told you,” Vanessa teased, “I heard he’s single.”

“God that makes it worse,” you sighed, “If he was taken then he’s literally not unattainable and I could just admire innocently.”

“You could totally pull him,” Vanessa said, “You’re literally getting paid because of how good looking you are.”

“Yeah and he is literally the top player in the world right now,” you said, “Ugh I’m not even going to entertain the idea I’ll just get upset.”

“I believe you can do anything you put your mind to,” Vanessa encouraged, being her usual positive self.

You rolled your eyes but appreciated the comment. The game was starting again as your eyes shifted back to the field where the players began to run up and down the field.  

The thing about football was that nothing really happens for the majority of the match but when things pick up they pick up fast. That’s why you enjoyed the sport because it felt like anything big was huge. Vanessa disagreed, remaining loyal to the constant intensity of basketball but at the end of the day both of you were entertained by any sort of thing that involved a ball. You both once watched Phillip’s local league tennis final with the same excitement as Wimbledon.  

The first half of the game ended with no goals which made Vanessa decide it was a perfect time to take some photos for her social media. You spent the half time break posing in front of the field and taking selfies in your seats, picking out the best shots for Instagram. 

Someone in your section recognized you and asked for a photo which you happily posed for. She was a younger girl gushing about how she loved your runway walks, especially the one you had done for Victoria Secret a couple months ago. While being a model never guaranteed a level of fame as famous as an actor or athlete it was small moments like that which made you feel you had truly made it in your career.

“Ooo this is such a good photo of you,” Vanessa squealed, zooming in on her phone, “You look absolutely stunning.”

You looked over and vainly had to admit she was right. Vanessa always knew how to get the right angles. The shot was a perfect mix of cute and sexy with your shirt tucked up to reveal your own toned waist sculpted by the hours at Corepower. You smiled at the camera, the lighting capturing the shine of your gloss.

“Wow you really know my angles,” you said, liking the photo for later.

“I should probably post something on my story now,” Vanessa said, always making sure to update her millions of followers. 

You both decided on sharing a cute selfie of you two from your seats and a view of the game. Despite having much more of an internet presence than you, Vanessa was eager to tag your handle. Only recently you started working on your social media, before just using it to repost your runways or photoshoots. But now the industry was changing and with the help of your manager and other influencer friends you were slowly raking up the follower count.

“Posted!” Vanessa said, “Oh just in time they’re coming back out!”

The two of you joined the crowd’s cheering as the two teams re-entered the field once again with a bit more energy than when the half-time ended. In between, making fun commentary on the game and joining in on the cheers, things were actually picking up. 

You shifted onto the edge of your seat as you watched England prepare for a corner kick. Saka kicked the ball, allowing the curve perfectly straight to Bellingham. As if it were fate, Bellingham effortlessly kicked the ball into the net.  

The crowd went wild. Even you and Vanessa stood up jumping in your seats despite being the most American girls ever.

“That was awesome!” you squealed.

You eyes tracked Bellingham’s jersey as he directed himself to the crowd and did his signature pose. His arms outstretched, jersey hugging his toned body as he looked up to the stadium with a proud look on his face.

God he was attractive. His teammates embraced him in hugs and pats on the back as you felt silly crushing so hard on this random football player. As Bellingham walked back to the field, the camera still paned on him and his gorgeous face. For a moment, Bellingham smiled up at the screen and produced a small finger heart gesture.

“No way,” Vanessa said, watching the whole scene play out.

“Yeah that was a crazy goal,” you sighed, sitting back down.

“No, did you not see the heart gesture he did,” Vanessa said, “That was totally a sign for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scoffed, “That is a universally hand gesture just like the peace sign.”

“Ugh you are no fun. I’m calling it now that tonight you’re getting a follow from him.”

You rolled her eyes at your friend’s crazy prediction but you didn’t think too much of it as Harry Kane soon scored another goal for England.

The game ended with England winning 2-0 which had you and Vanessa celebrating as if the two of you had lived in London your whole lives. Still you claimed to study abroad and Vanessa claimed her father’s British roots. You sang along with the rest of the English travelers to “Wonderwall” with the players all together facing up and singing right back at you. Your eyes couldn’t help but stay on number 10 as he smiled widely up at the crowd.

Later, you and Vanessa met up with Phillip for drinks as you gave him a rundown of the game.

“Never thought I’d be into soccer but Phil we HAVE to go to the next game,” Vanessa begged, “It’s the start of the knockout rounds.”

Phillip chuckled and promised to look at tickets the next day. You also laughed at your friend, scrolling through Instagram to see how your post was doing. Vanessa had to take your phone and hit the post button before you siked yourself out but it was a good call because it was blowing up. 

Even a few celebrity tabloids reporting on your appearance, not realizing what a fan of the sport you were, now being spotted at two games. You scrolled through until your eyes nearly popped out of your head seeing the two notifications.

@ judebellingham liked your post

@ judebellingham started following you back

“Holy shit,” you exclaimed, “He fucking noticed me.”

“What!” Vanessa shrieked, making Phillip very confused.

You turned your phone to show her the notification which had her squealing and saying “I told you!”

“What’s happening?” Phillip asked, “Did you get that beauty contract with Chanel?”

“No. Even better,” Vanessa said, “Jude Bellingham followed her on Insta.”

“What!” he exclaimed which made you laugh at his enthusiasm.

“This is crazy,” you sighed, “How did he even find the account?”

“I told you he noticed you from the game,” Vanessa said.

“Maybe it’s just because I’m a model and it’s networking,” you said, a bit nervous, “He’s an ambassador for LV.”

“Ughhhh just accept the win and the fact Jude fucking Bellingham wants you.”

“He only liked one post.”

“Yeah and I bet he’s crafting a slick way to slide into your DMs right now.”

This time you didn’t roll your eyes because you really hoped Vanessa was right. But you put your phone away so you didn’t think too much about it.

–

Jude was still running off the high of winning the game and scoring his first goal this World Cup. After the press he celebrated with his teammates in the locker room as the exhaustion slowly started to hit all of them. Thankfully the knockout round was in a few days so he had time to relax before the next match.

Once settled in his hotel room, he kicked off his slippers and opened up his phone to the flood of news and coverage on the match. He tended to avoid reading articles about his games right after a match as they would mess with his confidence seeing everyone insert their own opinions on him. 

However, one article stuck out to him. 

American girls betraying their country! Fashion models spotted at England vs Panama match showing their support for England

There was an image of the jumbotron showing you and your friend smiling at the screen, making him smile remembering your face. He curiously clicked on the article to read about how this was the second match you had actually gone to, surprising the American press with your interest in football. He read that you were a famous fashion model getting ready to walk in Paris week. 

As he scrolled further down the article, it had linked your Instagram post from the game and a story of your selfie from the bleachers. Damn you looked so good that he clicked the link and gave it a like and follow.

He found himself on a deep dive of your social media. Most photos were from photoshoots and runways but there were some snippets of your daily life. Photos of friends and travels that made him smile as he looked through the candid pics of you laughing and dancing. 

Maybe it was because he was still feeling on top of the world after tonight’s game but Jude decided to take a chance and shoot his shot. Just in a different way.

–

After drinks you finally got to settle into the silence of your NYC apartment. Vanessa, Phillip and you spent the rest of night talking about various topics like your mutual  friend’s evil ex and the new intern at Phillip’s start-up. The conversation about Bellingham soon became a background thought as Vanessa agreed that you shouldn’t dwell on it with Paris fashion week coming up.

Once tucked under the covers in your soft pajamas, you opened Instagram one last time for the night for a quick bedtime scroll. It seemed there was a new message in your inbox, meaning it had to be from a mutual.

You clicked on the icon to see Bellingham’s profile picture and half of a message. It was just you in your apartment making the message feel like a secret. You weren’t sure whether to inform Vanessa but you ultimately decided to keep it to yourself incase the message wasn’t really anything.

@ judebellingham 

Replied to your story: Hoped you enjoy the game! You and your friend looked like you were having fun

Your jaw dropped, heart beating fast as you tried to come up with a response that was witty enough to be cool but not off putting

@ yourusername

Do you normally check in with fans afterwards? But great game btw

@ judebellingham 

If they look like you then yes. Are you from New York? I’m looking for recs to spend my day off here

@ yourusername

Depends on what you’re looking for. I’ve lived here for two years so I kinda know my way around

@ judebellingham 

Any good first date spots?

@ yourusername is typing

The following morning you woke up absolutely exhausted from all the tears you shed earlier. Also your body had been so anxious you ended up waking up two hours earlier than you planned to. 

You glanced at your phone seeing Amy had texted back only ten minutes ago. She was definitely an early bird. 

Amy

Ok…I’m assuming you’re no longer carpooling with Logan so we can get lunch after volunteering?

You

I actually woke up early for once. Wanna grab coffee instead?

Amy

Sure. Your text has been making me anxious. Better to rip off the band aid now

You quickly got dressed and headed out for the day on your bike. The coffee shop was only a few blocks away. Amy wasn’t there yet so you ordered and grabbed a spot tucked in the corner. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you up before 9,” Amy laughed, as she made her way to the seat across from you.  

“Couldn’t sleep,” you sighed.

“Yeah thank god I saw your text in the morning or else I also would’ve been up all night,” she said, “So what’s up? You change your mind about Logan.”

“No,” you said quickly to shut that idea down, “But you do need to promise that you won’t completely hate me after I tell you. Like you can be mad for like two days but then hopefully you forgive.”

“Jesus did you kill someone?”

“I’m Briar Bitch,” you blurted out.

Amy’s face contorted into some sort of shock that you couldn’t make out whether it was a good or bad kind.

“Like Bitch to Me Briar?” she said slowly.

“Yes.”

“Iced vanilla latte!” the barista’s voice shouted, cutting through the tension. You quickly got uo to rush over to avoid looking at Amy’s face.

Once sitting back down you looked up shyly scared of your friend’s reaction but instead Amy had a huge grin on her face.

“You’re not joking right?”

“No. I can show you the Instagram on my phone,” you start babbling now embarrassed.

Of course no one would believe you were running this underground account. You were nice and shy. You stayed out of drama or cut it off before it could get close to you. God this was such a bad idea.

“I believe you. That’s just kinda..” she trailed off.

“Horrible?” you grimaced.

“Awesome.”

“What?”

“That’s sick,” she repeated, “Good kind of sick. Wow, who would’ve thought I’d be in the prescriptions of a celebrity.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad? That account is doing God's work.”

“God’s work? But it’s gossip for entertainment.”

“No, you're giving people much needed advice without giving them any shame.”

That’s what you had believed when you originally took over the account but after the past few months it made you change your mind. Hearing Amy say it to you made you feel a bit better about the secret. Actually a lot better.

“Really?” you asked.

“Really,” she nodded, “It’s all anonymous and it’s all up to the submitters' choice on what they want or don’t want to share. Why would you think you’re doing a bad thing?”

“I-” you started, “I feel like sometimes my advice ends up harming other people.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like one guy asked about how he should navigate how he should deal with falling out of love with his girlfriend and I suggested he break up with her sooner rather than later. Then I saw the whole screaming match in the cafeteria the other day,” you explained the incident from the other day.

“Look, you're not responsible for that asshole’s actions. It’s the guy with the two sorority girls right?” Amy asked.

You gave a small nod which made her grin that she got it right. You didn’t realize your friend was such a follower of the account.

“You didn’t tell him to emotionally cheat. You didn’t even tell him to break up with her over text. You’re not responsible for anyone’s actions just because they come to you for help,” Amy said.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Amy laughed, “Please don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“It’s just so weird having a secret like that. I don’t think I like it,” you sighed.

“Does anyone else know?”

You gave her a look and because Amy knew you so well she let out a sigh.

“Is that why you turned down Logan?”

“Not really,” you said.

“Wow you must really hate this man or he is in love with Hannah,” Amy joked dryly.

A bit of both but you decided to end the conversation on the happy note rather than discuss your romantic tragedies to Amy.

“It’s whatever and it’s over,” you shrugged, “Thank you for this by the way. It went a lot better than I expected.”

“I can’t believe you would think I would cut you off,” Amy sighed, reaching out to squeeze your hand, “You’re too hard on yourself. Seriously. And I know you don’t want to talk about Logan but maybe that was another situation you got too in your head about.”

You gave a nod just about to compliment Amy’s ability to give good advice until an idea came to mind.

“Actually I have another question,” you started.

“Yes I am ready to bring on the romantic advice for you,” Amy said, “I’ve been seriously invested ever since he showed up to the elementary school.”

“No not for me,” you explained, “But maybe romantic advice for the general Briar University?”

Amy’s jaw dropped like you were offering her a position at her dream company and you left that coffee shop a little bit lighter and a lot less notifications on your phone. 

–

You luckily didn’t see Logan before you entered the elementary school because you and Amy got there so early. Thankfully now that you were in a better mood, the endless sewing you and Amy endured wasn’t that bad. Amy did get distracted by all the possible ideas she was going to share on the account and whether she should change the profile picture. You just laughed at her enthusiasm. 

While on pick-up duty, you quickly left Katie, who always seemed to be the last one, with Amy before running to the bathroom. You made a mental note of Logan’s car in the lot which meant you needed to cycle so fast out of there.

When you got back both Amy and Katie had enormous grins on their faces that you checked your body for any type of stain or lingering toilet paper that was attached to your foot. Nothing.

“I have something for you,” Katie sang, running up to hand you a note.

“Aww you made me a card,” you beamed, even though Katie could be difficult the sentiment almost made you tear up.

“Not me, your boyfriend,” Katie laughed.

“Katie I told you I don’t have a boyfriend,” you grumbled while Amy was snickering.

“Well the guy who always drives you in the truck told me to give this to you and said he’d be your boyfriend very soon.”

“He always told you to keep the boyfriend part a secret,” Amy laughed.

“Oops,” Katie shrugged.

“Can’t believe he’s sending a ten year old to do his bidding,” you sighed, “Also he is not going to be my boyfriend Katie so you can stop giggling.”

“Awww but he really wants to be,” she whined as if she was the one getting rejected.

“Sure he does,” you sighed, finding Katie’s mom in the parking lot.

And a small part of you still wanted him to be

–

John Logan was in shambles. Like it was bad. So bad that Dean even commented on his sulking despite the guy being MIA for the past few weeks.

“Dude what’s up?” Dean asked, “You’re seriously bringing down the vibes.”

The four of them were supposed to be playing video games but Logan was too distracted to properly be engaged. The situation was dire.

“Nothing, I'm just tired,” he sighed, not wanting to talk about the situation.

“It’s because of you know who,” he heard Tucker whisper.

“Hey!” Logan exclaimed, tossing a pillow at the curly hair guy which he dodged.

“Aww buddy,” Dean sighed, “I’m sure she’ll come around. I don’t really know why she rejected you, thought you two were super head over heels.”

Well Logan knew the answer but because Garrett was sitting right next to him he couldn’t really say. But the problem wasn’t that you rejected him. The problem was him figuring out how to win you back. You had still yet to respond to any of his texts and Amy only gave him a shrug when he sent Katie out for delivery. He was even desperate enough to send requests through the Bitch to Me account hoping you’d see. He should’ve known better that you were harder to please. You were sure of yourself and your decisions. God he loved it.

“She thinks I’m not serious about her,” he said.

“Well Logan you kinda built a reputation,” Tucker sighed.

“I am not like Dean,” he exclaimed, “I’m just friendly. Haven’t gotten with anyone since like October.”

Which was when Garrett met Hannah and you started coming around more.

“Aww he’s a changed man,” Garrett grinned, “Look you just gotta show her you’re serious about her.”

“But how? We all know how she sees through everyone’s bullshit.”

“My ego is still bruised from her rejection,” Dean sighed, “Well what does she like? Let’s start there.”

Where could Logan even start? You liked walking instead of relying on a car to drive you places because you got exercised while enjoying the outdoors. You preferred summer weather cause you liked yourself better with a tan than without when. (Even though you were just as pretty either way in Logan’s eyes) You liked beer but no seltzers. You liked scented lipgloss that he could always smell whenever you reapplied around him. 

He knew you liked fashion based on the way you dressed and accessorized. Also because you were volunteering at a fashion camp and were willing to sew a thousand patterns to make these kids’ designs come to life. 

You liked art in general. Your wallpaper always changed what latest art piece you had seen or researched. You liked beautiful things in a way that wasn’t vain but from genuine appreciation for the world around you.

“Ugh worst study session ever,” Logan groaned, “I don’t think I’ve been in the library for that long ever.”

You chuckled and then gasped at the sight in front of you. Logan thought someone fell but instead you were awing at the sunset. It was just like any sunset with orange and pinkish hues painting the skies but you didn’t look at it like that.

“Wow it's so pretty,” you said.

“Damn we were in the library for that long,” Logan sighed, “Sun’s already setting.”

“Worth it,” you said, looking up at the sky.

Totally worth it the way Logan got to see the orange glow hit your face.

“She likes a lot of things but I don’t know if she’s going to be convinced by gifts,” Logan said, snapping out of the memory.

“Maybe she just wants to be seen,” Garrett said.

“Seen?” Dean questioned.

Seen. Garrett was right. You were quiet but never shy. You spoke when someone spoke to you first unless you really felt comfortable with them. You let people cut you off in a story so they could get their comment in. You listened to everyone’s problems but no one ever heard yours. You were so polite at the expense of you falling into the shadows. And that’s why you rejected him. Not because he liked Hannah but because he didn’t properly see you. But he did. He just didn’t know how to tell you. 

But maybe now he had a little bit more clarity. With that list tucked away in his desk drawer.

“Thanks Garrett,” Logan shouted and then ran up the stairs.

“Since when did you become such a sap?" Dean joked, "Hannah is rubbing off on you."

—

On Tuesday, you and Amy were lounging in the one of the various study spots on campus as you were eager to get out of your dorm. Allie had been treating you like glass since the Saturday incident and Hannah kept making apologies for Logan. His letter sent via Katie was still sitting on your desk.

Amy was eager to look through the request you let stack up which reminded you of how excited you were when you answered your first request. Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened as if she read some crazy news story which made you intrigued.

“Is it another cheating scandal?” you asked, looking up from your computer even though you had been online shopping for the past twenty minutes. 

“No but you need to read these,” Amy said, flipping the phone screen to you.

You squinted at the small words and slowly read out the form request.

I need advice on how to win a girl back after being a complete idiot. I’m sorry. Please give me another chance to make it up to you. - Logan

“He’s that down bad,” Amy chuckled, “Are you ever gonna budge or the decision final?”

You bite your lip, unsure of the situation. It was sort of sweet Logan attempting to communicate with you but you still felt uneasy about the situation.

“I don’t know,” you sighed honestly, “I feel like a desperate idiot if I go back on my word.”

“Nope none of that,” Amy interrupted, “You’re not weak for letting someone into your life. I know you’re a pretty private person, I mean you literally have been running a secret account but you also gotta let people see you. At least people who want to see you.”

“I just,” you started, “What if he doesn’t really see me?”

“But that’s the beauty in taking that risk,” Amy said, “Did you like being around him? Did you feel comfortable around him?”

You thought back to when you two danced that one night at Malone’s and how he followed your movements with just as much energy you were putting out. Or how he bought your favorite book when he came by your bookstore.

“I saw these birds the other day and thought about you,” Logan said, showing you his phone which had an image of birds in the Briar rink parking lot.

The two of you were waiting for everyone else to join you in the cafeteria for lunch so you were making small talk to fill the silence. Although small talk started being less small when it came to Logan. Sometimes talking to Logan was the highlight of your day

You were talking about birds with Logan and Tucker the other day, explaining how you wanted to get into bird watching. You thought if you got really good at identifying species it’ll make any nature walk more entertaining cause you could point out all the type of birds there.

“You know what type they are?” he asked.

“I think those are just sparrows,” you laughed, zooming in on the tiny brown birds.

“Yeah but are they special sparrows? Like maybe they're a rare breed,” he pressed with that signature grin spreading across his face.

“I don’t think so,” you chuckled, shaking your head. “I think they're just plain house sparrows.”

“Damn, just a house sparrow. Here I thought I got a cool pic of a one of a kind bird.”

“They’re still pretty cute,” you shrugged.

“Yeah they are,” Logan agreed although you were too engrossed in his phone that you missed his lingering gaze as you leaned closer. 

You looked at Amy with wide eyes and she already knew what you were thinking. You were scared but maybe this time it was better to push through it than run away.

–

It was a Thursday when you decided to pick up a shift at the bookstore. Most of your classes were dwindling down and rather than being on campus and risking running into Logan and his gang you made any excuse to be off campus. 

Although it was kind of a slap in the face reminder when your boss confirmed the prizes for Logan’s fundraising event at the end of the semester. Hopefully things would smooth out by then as in you could bear to be in the same room at Logan.

Any weekdays at the bookshop were slow which meant you could catch up on your own personal reading. Normal People. You had started reading it in the beginning of the semester but now the book seemed like a silly taunt at your own situation. But it was somewhat soothing knowing there were a million fictional characters probably going through the exact same if not worst thing you were. 

The bell chimed indicating a customer having you perk up from the pages. Only to be met with a familiar pair of brown eyes and soft hair.

"Logan?" you said, your voice hesitant.

“Hey,” he smiled, “Think you can help out a customer?”

“I-,” you started to tell him to leave but he beat you to it.

“Let me tell you I’m sorry before you kick me out for being a nuisance,” he said, “Actually there’s a lot of things I need to tell you but at least let me say I’m sorry.”

You swallowed. After a week of grappling with your emotions you decided that the best thing to do was move on. That seemed a lot easier when you were actively avoiding him. Now he was standing there in person, your heart still picked up like before.

"It's fine," you sighed, seeing no point in holding a grudge, "I'm also sorry for yelling at you. The situation was really--"

"No. You don’t need to apologize,” he cut you off, "I'm sorry for avoiding you. For letting you leave that night. For not chasing after you and telling you how you make me feel. I don't care that you run that Instagram or even that you knew about my crush on Hannah that probably wasn’t even real. I care about the fact you thought I didn't want you, which couldn’t be further from the truth.”

You blinked at him.

"I want you. Only you" he said your name, "I wanted you when you were always supporting the team at Malone's, or seeing you interact with those kids, or when you rambled about your favorite book or bird. I wanted you when Allie first introduced us as the new roommate and your hair was tied in a braid. I wanted you when you rejected Dean in the funniest yet polite way possible. In a way that’s so you.  It's always you, I've just been too dumb and too scared to say anything.”

You wanted to tell him he’s lying or it’s all for show but the words died on your tongue. Because no one has ever talked about you this way, and selfishly you wanted him to continue. You watched him take out a piece of paper from his back pocket and unfold it.

“You or your account, doesn’t matter,” he said quickly, “You said to write down all the things I like about Hannah when I was convinced I liked her. I don’t like her but here’s a list of all the things I like about you.”

You blinked at him, the lump in throat slowly starting to get too large to swallow.

“I like your laugh, the way you throw your head back and laugh with your whole body. I like it even more when I’m the one to cause it. I like the way you dress, that’s so uniquely you. You wear everything with such confidence and it’s so sexy. 

“I like that you like art. I like when you talk about it even though I have no clue. You make me want to know more.”

“I like all the weird interests and hobbies you try to pick up. You’re already the most interesting person I’ve met and yet every conversation I learn something new.”

“I like that you give me recommendations for things I didn’t even consider looking into. I like the book you talked about. I can see why it’s your favorite.”

“I like how caring you are. How you’ll always listen to literally anyone no matter how boring the conversation is or how annoying they are. You give everyone your undivided attention. 

“I like that you run an anonymous advice account, it’s funny and also really sweet. I like that you’re so selfless you try to help out everyone around you. I like how understanding and patient you are while still being true to yourself.”

He took a breath and you thought it was over until he spoke again.

“And I know there’s so many more things I’ll like about you. I just haven’t seen them yet. But I want to. I want to know all of you, even the parts you might be embarrassed about. I promise you I won’t run away. I know I fucked up and if you don't ever want to talk to me I'll understand. But I don't want you to keep thinking you were never an option. Baby you're the only one I want. The only option for me."

He looked at you with those eyes that made you fall for him all those months ago. You can see every emotion on his face, fingers gripping the paper that was a love letter to you. Right now he wasn’t looking anywhere else but the person in front of him. And for once in a long time you felt okay with his eyes on you.

“You really mean all that?” you said, voice cracking.

“Every word. Including the ones in the letter Katie gave you,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“I haven’t read it,” you admitted, “I also never gave your advice your requesting so how’d you know to come here?”

“I realize I don’t need advice when it comes to you. If this is really right I should hope I know how to do it at least a little bit right,” he said, “Although maybe I did need a slight nudge in the right direction which Hannah helped with your location.”

You laughed, shaking your head at the ridiculous man in front of you. The man that you wanted for years silently. The man that told you that you were the only one for him. The man that probably would do anything for you.

“So can I have the honor to take you out?” Logan sighed as if he were proposing.

You were grinning now.

“Only if you promise me two things.”

“Done.”

“Let me say them first,” you sighed.

“Of course, my apologies.”

“One is that we take it slow,” you said, “I appreciate everything that  you told me and I do believe I feel the same way but I want us to be sure about it and not just be reactive to our intense emotions.”

“Easy. We can go as slow as you want,” Logan nodded, “I’m a patient man.”

“Second,” you began to grin, “We need some models for the kid’s fashion show in the winter.”

Katie was going to be so happy when she saw who was going to be daunting her leopard suit.

Next Part

A/N: IT'S FINALLY HERE. oh god thank you so much for your patience. I literally had the craziest past few days this new internship. BUT YAY I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR IT!!! Thank you for all the support. I love all you guys. Xx

After dating Logan for nearly a year, you liked to think you knew almost everything about him. You knew what made him laugh, his favorite hockey players, movies he enjoyed and video games he played. You also knew about his upbringing that shaped him into the most emotionally aware and caring boyfriend you’d ever had. But there was one thing you knew about Logan that you wanted to change.

Throwing him a surprise birthday!

He mentioned it on the off hand when you were telling him about your own 18th surprise party where your friends pretended to forget your birthday before walking into a party later that night. It was one of the most memorable events where you felt so loved. And you wanted that for Logan. Remind him that he was loved.

So the planning started. You had exactly two weeks to pull off the best surprise party of them all. You enlisted his teammates, Hannah, Allie and Jules. 

—

“Hey pretty,” Logan murmured, startling you as his arms wrapped around your waist as you were working by the kitchen counter. 

You were spending the night since you were away last weekend for a club retreat and Logan was being more clingier than usual.

While normally you’d relax into his hold, this time your laptop screen has the group chat pulled up and other websites. Instead you froze in his hold, quickly swiping desktops before he could catch a glimpse.

You felt guilty when Logan gave you a weird look but the expression didn’t last when you turned to pressed a kiss to the corner of his lip. He smelled fresh as his hair was still damp from the shower, which is why you wanted to sneak in some extra planning time.

“Whatcha working on?”  he mumbled, head now buried in the crook of your neck. You giggled feeling his stubble against your soft skin.

“Just a group project for class,” you said, interlacing your hand with his fingers splayed across your waist. You stayed in his embrace for a second feeling his breath tickle the back of your neck.

Him seemed satisfied with your answer, pulling away slightly to spin you around in his arms so you’d face him. God you loved him so much. Every smile he gave you was just another reminder that your party planning skills had to be on top of it.

“Thought you were done with midterms,” Logan hummed.

“Yeah my marketing class is just OD,” you shrugged.

“You have Donovan right? I can give you my slides from last semester if you need help.”

Your heart clenched at his thoughtfulness. That presentation wasn’t actually until the end of the month but the fact Logan still offered you support made you love him even more.

“Thanks,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his chest, right over his heart.

“Anything for you, gorgeous,” he hummed, “Lemme cook dinner since you’re working.”

“It’s fine Logan,” you said, “I can help.”

“Nah I got it beautiful,” he assured, pressing a quick kiss to your head.

God you loved this man. Which is why this party needed to be perfect.

—

Things got worse as the date crept forward. Logan was a clingy boyfriend which normally you wouldn’t complain about until you realized you had no way of secretly communicating with anyone if he was in the room. He was always in arms distance, not in a possessive way but more in a sense he couldn’t stand the thought of there being a single inch of space between you if you were in the same room.

You were sitting on the counter in the garage while he was changing the oil of his car. Normally you would spend the time ogling him and talking about your day but today you were distracted. In between sneaking glances of him shirtless you were firing texts to Garrett, Dean, and Tucker about food details and to see if a certain birthday gift was possible. They were annoyingly slow at responding.

“You’re awfully quiet, pretty,” Logan said, turning his attention from the car to you.

Your brows were furrowed as you were trying to make sense of Dean’s cryptic texts and your legs seining back and forth impatiently. You were distracted by the amount of recipes Tucker sent and the lack of engagement from Garrett that you hadn’t realized Logan had wiped his hands and made his way over to you.

“Baby,” he hummed, leaning into your space.

“Hmm,” you replied before glancing up from your phone and seeing he was inches away from you.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hey,” you smiled, lowering your phone.

“You’ve been looking at the phone more than me this whole time. And I’m literally half naked,” he pouted, moving a hand to grip your waist.

You chuckled at his complaint but put your phone down next to you to wrap your arms around his neck drawing him closer. Your noses brushed as you looked into those beautiful brown eyes you adored.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

Then you leaned in to press a kiss to his lips as an apology. Logan instantly reacted, deepening the kiss like a starved man. His grip tightened around your waist while one hand reached up to cup your jaw. Your own hands tangled into his soft hair as you let out a soft moan when his tongue met yours. Your bodies were now flushed against each other as you felt his hot bare skin against your clothed body. Logan began to press kisses down your neck while your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist to pull him closer.

Just as Logan began to grind into you, gripping your thighs your phone began to ring. 

Fuck it was probably Garrett getting back to you about that favor.

You broke away to check your screen to confirm your suspicions but Logan kept kissing your neck, not wanting to stop.

“Do you seriously have to take that?” Logan said into your skin.

Garrett wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important.

You pulled away, placing a hand on his chest to allow yourself some space to hop off the counter.

“Sorry it’s my group calling about the project,” you said, quickly rushing outside to take the call. You made sure to give him a quick kiss before leaving.

Logan let out a defeated sigh watching you go. A feeling of unease began to brew in his stomach as he blinked his eyes to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating Garrett’s caller ID on your phone.

You wouldn’t lie to him, right?

—

Logan’s birthday was a week away and you had somewhat finalized your plans. 

Everyone agreed that it would be best for you two to have a dinner date and then to bring him back to the hockey house. The group was going to set everything up as you were out. You had also been practicing your baking skills for the past week which meant you had accidentally set of your fire alarm twice. But you were confident now that the final product would be great.

The only problem was that Logan had a birthday tradition of bringing all his friends to his childhood diner somewhere in Hastings. You had joined him last year as his new girlfriend and he was so happy to be surrounded by you and all his teammates. Which is why it was horrible breaking the news that it would only be you two this year.

“I’m sorry babe,” you hummed, rubbing his arm.

“Yeah it just sucks. I’m not the biggest fan of birthdays but I thought they’d at least remember to save the date,” Logan sighed, frowning down at you.

In reality, Garrett wasn’t visiting Hannah’s parents and Tucker and Dean weren’t going to this once in a lifetime concert. They were staying back to decorate the house. 

You told yourself the look on his face during the surprise would be worth it but in the moment you wished you could tell him the truth. He’d been on edge all week with practices.

“Hey we’re going to have a fun night though,” you offered, wrapping your arms around his middle to pull him closer.

“Yeah,” he said, but his eyes still looked sad.

You rested your head against his chest as his arms stroked your side in the comforting embrace. You could tell he was frustrated with the situation but didn’t want to talk about it.

You knew Logan had trouble expressing his emotions which was a bit of a road bump in the beginning of your relationship. You learned that you needed to be patient with him or else he’d isolate himself. Although since you’ve been together Logan has been great at communicating. Almost too good as you listen to all his wild tangents and stories that led him to his emotional conclusion.

Your phone kept buzzing in your back pocket which was starting to cut through the comforting moment that Logan released you.

“I’ll let you get that,” he said hurt laced in his voice, before walking toward the stairs.

“It’s nothing,” you assured, feeling like you were adding salt to the wound.

You knew you’ve been distracted by your phone these past weeks that Logan started to catch on. Although you tried to assure him it wasn’t anything it seemed he wasn’t buying it. Hence him closing himself off.

“I’m gonna go shower,” he said and then disappeared up the stairs.

You let out a defeated sigh but you could try to make it up to him with cuddles. Checking your phone you instantly smiled seeing Garrett was able to seal the last surprise in your plan.

You just hoped Logan won’t get even sadder that he wouldn’t want to celebrate his birthday.

—

The day finally arrived and you were a frazzled mess. You sent out all your final texts as Logan was still in the shower getting ready for dinner. 

Logan’s Super Surprise Party

You

We’re about to leave! DON’T go in yet until I say so

Garrett

Yes Captain

Tucker

All the food is ready!

Hannah

I’m so excited!!!

Allie

Finalized the playlist with Justin and Dean this morning

You

Thank you guys!!! I really hope he likes it

Jules

Oh he will. Mostly because you planned it and he likes anything you do.

You rolled your eyes at Jules' playful text and tucked your phone into your shoulder bag. You had slept over the night before since all his roommates were allegedly out of town but in reality they were all just staying at their respective girlfriend’s places to keep up the act.

“Don’t you look pretty?” Logan drawled, walking in with just a towel around his waist.

You were putting the last touches to your lip combo to match the cute denim skirt and white blouse you were wearing. 

“Hey birthday boy,” you smiled.

Logan wasted no time planting a kiss on your lips which ruined your entire three step lip combo process. When he pulled away there were remnants of gloss staining his own lips.

“Logannnn,” you whined, rubbing your thumb over his lips to wipe off the make up. He kissed your thumb while you glared at him.

“You ruined my lip combo,” you sighed, immediately releasing him to fix your liner.

Logan just chuckled, “Worth it,” before throwing on some jeans and a plain black top.

You were jealous that he looked effortlessly good in everything while you spent an hour looking through the duffel bag of clothes for the perfect outfit.

“Ready to go gorgeous?” he hummed, grabbing his keys.

You gave a nod and happily bounced into his embrace. He stuck a hand in the back pocket of your jean skirt, leading you to the car unaware all his friends were waiting down the block.

—

Once you got to the diner, both you and Logan slid into the booth where you had your first date. He was grinning so hard you wouldn’t think he was moping yesterday about all his friends leaving.

“What are the odds?” he smiled.

You just shrugged. You had called the place earlier to save the booth. He didn’t need to know that.

“Whatcha gonna get?” you asked, scanning the menu.

“The usual. Double patty cheeseburger and fries,” he said, “And an extra side of fries so you don’t steal any of mine.”

You gave him a playful glare as you scanned the options. You’d probably do a tuna melt.

You two ordered quickly and began to discuss nothing and everything. Logan talked about his transformer’s themed 6th birthday while you laughed looking at images of a tiny Logan. When the food did come you were grateful for that extra side of fries as Logan gave you a look every time you reached for the basket.

Everything was perfect until your phone began to ring. You had put it on do not disturb but they must’ve bypassed it.

You subtly checked to see the caller ID which was Garrett. Logan looked at you with a certain look that made your heart ache.

“I need to use the bathroom,” you said, getting up.

“Yeah sure,” he mumbled.

In the bathroom you scrolled to see the flood of texts from people asking for party details and when Logan was coming.

“Garrett I’m at dinner,” you hissed.

“I know but we’re having trouble finding the cake.”

“What do you mean—Oh shit it’s in my dorm,” you sighed.

“Is Grace already on her way?” Garrett asked.

“Let me text her,” you said, firing off some messages.

Thankfully Grace was just about to leave before you caught her. She confirmed she could bring the cake which made you take a breath of relief.

“Grace is on her way with the cake,” you confirmed.

“Great, just text when you leave. Or I guess Grace has your location,” Garrett said.

“Yeah, sounds good,” you said before hanging up.

When you got back to the booth Logan was scrolling on his phone looking a bit defeated. You caught the waitress’ attention as his back was turned to you, paying the bill secretly knowing Logan would never let you pick up a check even if it was his birthday. 

Your waitress smiled at you, taking your card allowing you to return to your boyfriend. You slide in the spot next to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before stealing a fry off his plate.

“Did you miss me handsome?” you teased watching Logan’s expression change as he took in your sight.

“I always miss you,” he hummed, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” you said, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Logan didn’t get a chance to answer as the waitress came back with your card. 

“You’re all set,” she smiled.

Logan gave you an alarmed look watching you quickly write in a generous tip which you had to force yourself not to smile too hard. 

“You didn’t have to pay,” he murmured, arms pulling you closer to brush his lips against your ear.

“It’s your birthday,” you said sheepishly, “Lemme spoil you at least once.”

“How did I get so lucky?” he hummed, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

"I'm the lucky one," you teased back which made Logan pepper your forehead with kisses to prove his point.

–

The car ride was peaceful for the most part. One of Logan’s hands was intertwined with yours as he drove through the dimly lit streets. You were buzzing with excitement as you pulled onto Hawk street. Your phone dinged which you let go of his hand to answer that you would be there in a minute.

Logan frowned at the loss of contact. He let out a sigh and began to let out everything he was feeling,

“Are we good?”

Your heart sank. You looked over to him with a shocked look on your face but Logan just looked defeated.

“Are you cheating on me?” he whispered.

“What!” you exclaimed, “Absolutely not!”

“Well you’re always on your phone,” he sighed, shutting off the car as you pulled into the driveway.

“Logan, look at me,” you said, tilting his chin to look at you.

He looked so sad that it made your heart also break. You just needed to get him inside and all would be well.

“We’re perfect,” you said, pressing a quick kiss, “Let’s get inside and I promise you have nothing to worry about.”

He let out a defeated sigh but still opened up the door. You also got out and grabbed his hand as you made your way to the porch. You subtly angled your body so Logan would be in front when you entered. As he fumbled with his keys you secretly began recording for the memories.

As soon as Logan managed to open the door the house lights flicked on to reveal the crowd of people in his living room.

“Surprise!” everyone exclaimed leaving Logan’s jaw on the floor.

You eagerly pushed for him to go inside as his friends engulfed him in hugs and praises. 

“Happy birthday old man,” Jules said, embracing their brother.

“You should see your face,” Dean grinned, giving him a nudge, “We totally had you fooled.”

“Yeah, what kind of friends would we be ditching your birthday for a concert?” Tucker chided.

“Happy birthday man,” Garrett smiled, bringing his best friend into a hug.

“Thanks guys,” Logan said, still trying to process it all, "How'd you guys do all this?

“Well you have a pretty awesome girlfriend,” Hannah said, nodding to where you were shyly standing behind him.

Logan turned to wrap an arm around your waist to pull you as close as possible. He gave you a squeeze as his eyes began to fill with tears with how happy he was.

“Happy birthday Logan,” you smiled, pecking his lips.

“You did this all for me?” he asked, looking around to the decorated room filled with all the people he loved.

“Of course,” you said, “You deserve good things. And that’s not even it.”

His brows popped up as Garrett pulled out his phone to reveal a video. After weeks of begging and intense networking, you and Garrett managed to get a personal birthday video from Logan’s current favorite player on the Bruins.

“Happy birthday John Logan,” David Pastrnak said with the Bruins’ rink in the background, “Heard you’re a beast on the ice so hopefully one day we can skate together. You got some good friends, make sure to celebrate tonight.”

“What the fuck,” Logan said, turning to you and Garrett.

You both gave him a non-chalant shrug as he squeezed you tighter. He pressed a kiss to your hair as you giggled seeing him so happy.

Later, you snuck away letting Logan talk to his teammates to go light the cake. Grace was helping you with the candles and gathering everyone to the kitchen. Dean turned off the light as you all sang a loud ‘Happy Birthday’ to Logan who was smiling widely in the middle. 

He blew out the candles with no problem making everyone cheer in response. You could barely set the cake down before Logan had his hands all over you. 

“You bake this yourself?” Logan hummed, noticing the slightly uneven frosting letters.

“Don’t judge me,” you frowned.

“I’m not. I’m just falling in love with you even more,” he hummed, accepting the knife to begin cutting the cake.

He took a bite and grinned, "Tastes amazing gorgeous."

Soon the party started to die down. You and Logan were chatting with Garrett and Hannah until the couple excused themselves for suspicious reasons that had you making sure to sprint past Garrett’s door later.

“You have fun?” you hummed, turning to face Logan.

“Of course baby. Thank you,” he smiled.

“This was a much better surprise than what you were thinking in the car huh?” you teased, playfully poking his ribs.

“Much better,” Logan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “Sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

“It’s ok,” you hummed, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I think I would’ve reacted way worse if it was the other way around.”

“I’m such an idiot for even thinking those thoughts. I mean you threw a fucking surprise party for me. You’re perfect,” he said, “I love you.”

“I love you too John Logan,” you smiled, “Happy birthday.”

You both leaned in for the kiss as everything else faded away. When he pulled away he whispered against your lips

A part of you hoped that Logan was going to stop you. But you made it all the way back inside the house without a single word being called out. That honestly made you feel better about your decision.

Even though you wanted to be anywhere else you decided to stay since it was Hannah’s birthday. What’s done has been taken care of.

“Hey,” you said, approaching Amy once again. Thankfully she was off to the side so you could easily hide from the stares you’re bound to get in the next minute.

“Oh hi,” Amy said, then noticing your lack of company, “Where’s Logan?”

“I turned him down,” you said, ripping off the bandage.

“What! You mean he just asked you out,” Amy exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Yeah when we were outside but it’s done now. Let him down easy. I think. Fuck did I make a mistake? No he reacted really weird,” you were rambling now. Your brain was moving too fast for your mouth to keep up.

“Woah easy there,” Amy assured, “You know what? I’m proud of you for sticking to your word.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Logan is a known slut and whatever that thing with Hannah you’re convinced about is also a complicated situation. He’s gonna have to do a lot more than just ask you out at a party,” Amy shrugged.

Huh you were shocked that you were actually receiving praise for your decision. 

“Ok I feel better now,” you sighed, “Oh I need to find my phone.”

“I think I saw it on the couch.”

You and Amy moved towards the living room where Allie, Tucker and Jules were chatting. Logan had just been over, whispering something to Jules so you waited until he left for the kitchen to talk to Dean before moving in. Sure enough your phone was on the armrest. Jules kept eyeing you from their spot on the couch but you were too distracted to notice. When you picked up your phone your face fell.

“I need to use the bathroom,” you told Amy before sprinting up the stairs. 

Your phone had blown up with notifications from Instagram. More specifically, notifications for the Bitch to Me Briar account. After you redownloaded the app you must’ve forgotten to turn off display notifications so now anyone who walked by your phone could see all the likes and messages being sent to the account.

You locked yourself in the bathroom, feeling lightheaded and nauseous. How could you be so stupid?

Fuck this could not be happening. Allie, Tucker and Jules were all sitting less than a foot away, one of them had to see it. Allie and Tucker didn’t say anything but Logan and Jules. 

Oh god you immediately opened up Fifth Line and all your worst fears were confirmed. 

There was a story, uploaded less than a minute ago with a picture of your phone lighting up with the Bitch to Me Briar notification with the caption. 

Is the even bigger surprise that Briar Bitch is in attendance at Hannah Wells’ birthday?

Immediately tears threatened to fall past your waterline. Your secret was out. If people didn’t know you they wouldn’t tell it was your phone since your wallpaper was a plain photo of the sunset. But still. If anyone at this party was on their phones they would know your secret. 

You wiped your eyes, trying not to try at the stupidity of the situation. Instead you needed to take action.

You needed to tell Jules to take it down. 

Just your luck when you opened up the door there was Logan standing right there waiting for the bathroom. 

His face morphed from shock to hurt as he opened his mouth to say something but you beat him to it. 

“You told them!” you exclaimed, there were tears in your eyes.

Logan’s face now changed to a look of confusion.

“Tell who what,” Logan asked, still dealing with your rejection not too long ago.

Even though you turned him down, the sight of seeing you in tears made his heart break. His fingers twitched by his side begging to reach for you but he stayed put.

“What’s this?” you accused, flipping your phone over.

There it was the Instagram story on Fifth Line. The account his sibling ran which was airing out your dirty secret.

“I swear I didn’t say anything to Jules.”

“Tell them to take it down,” you said firmly, trying to keep your voice strong.

“Hey look no one is going to know that’s your phone,” he assured, trying to reach out to you but you took a step back.

“I want you to tell Jules to take it down,” you stated, your voice beginning to crack, “If anyone finds out it is me then it ruins everything. Oh god..."

“Ok I got it,” he assured, “Stay here I’ll go find Jules.”

A tear slipped out when you watched him run down the stairs. You continuously refreshed the page to see if the post went away. Thankfully the whole campus seemed to be off their phones since it was prime partying hours so hopefully there weren't that many views.

In the next minute the post was down. That’s when you knew it was time to leave. You could apologize to Hannah later but you couldn’t take this environment anymore. Tears were running freely down your face as you weaved your way through the crowd. 

You bumped into Logan just as you were going to make it out the door. The action had you both so startled you pause for a moment. 

He looked down at you with those beautiful brown eyes and for a minute you did believe he wanted you. And just you.

You didn’t say anything though. Instead you turned away and ran out the door.

–

By the time you got into your dorm, you fired off a text to Allie, Amy and Hannah saying how you weren’t feeling good and needed to go home. Then you turned off your phone and cried. Cried because of how stupid you were to leave your phone out. Cried because Jules and Logan both knew your secret and could tell all your friends. Cried because you rejected Logan and he didn’t even fight it. And you cried because you were so exhausted with everything.

An hour later you couldn’t sleep from all the stress that you endured in the past 24 hours so you were trying to distract yourself with a movie. For some reason you thought How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days would be a good idea but the whole time it just made you realize how badly you craved a real relationship. Were you too quick to reject Logan? But you were doing it out of respect for yourself. Ugh now you're spiraling again.

There was a knock on the door making you flinch from your makeshift blanket cocoon.

“Hey it’s Allie,” the voice said, “Amy told me what happened with Logan.”

For some reason that made you a bit relieved knowing that your friends seemed more concerned with the failed romance than your failed attempt at running an anonymous account.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” you responded meekly.

The door creaked open to reveal a slightly tipsy Allie. SHe looked at you with a sad smile taking in your state.

“Oh girl,” she pouted, wasting no time to warp you in a hug.

Even though Allie didn’t know half of the story, the kind act made you tear up a bit.

“That’s it let it all out,” she comforted, “Logan is just being stupid. He really does care about you.”

You just let out a pathetic sniffle. 

“It’ll be fine,” you said, “He’ll probably find a new girl tomorrow.”

“Hey don’t talk that way. You didn’t see the way he looked at you. Logan is just shit at expressing his emotions.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you mumbled.

“Oh come on,” Allie said with the optimism an intoxicated person could have, “Maybe you just need to find a new guy. Honestly I’ve been reading a lot of Bitch to Me Briar and she would have to agree.”

That made you burst in tears which made Allie coo at you more and wondering how could John Logan be the cause of all this.

–

Logan wasn’t in the mood for a party after you disappeared. God he should’ve ran after you. He had two chances to do so and blew it. Now you probably didn’t ever want to see him again. 

He tried calling you which to no surprise you didn’t pick up. Then he texted you. Mostly to apologize for the Fifth Line post. The texts felt stupid as he was still struggling to put his thoughts into words so they just came off as douchey making Logan groan.

He felt like shit for making you feel like shit. Why couldn’t he just spit out the words that he was completely gone for you? You made him feel such new things that he was still finding the words to explain which made him lose you in the end.

Logan was laying in his head staring up at the ceiling while the last few people trickled out of the party. He should probably help them clean up downstairs but he needed to be alone. His phone pinged and he immediately sat up to see if it was a message from you. Instead it was from Jules.

Jules

I don’t regret posting what I did but I did out of respect for you and your friend.

God and there was that whole issue. Your secret. Now he thought about it more and it made sense why you were always hiding your phone and using a privacy screen. That also left him thinking. He didn’t care you were Briar Bitch, Jules cared but he didn’t know why. You were someone sweet and kind, probably just doing it with the pure intention of helping people not discovering gossip. Ugh but the fact you had to find out his crush on Hannah made him sick.

When he sent that request Logan was in a scramble of emotions. He had never been great at expressing his emotions or even really processing what he was feeling. With his upbringing he learned that it mostly got in the way of bigger stuff. Like his mom being in and out of rehab. Everything just fell into categories of good and bad. 

And maybe Hannah just fell into the overall good category. He felt good around her because she was his friend. 

Logan tried picturing you next to him talking this dilemma out. Another reason why he liked you, you always made him think with a new level of clarity and focus that makes the emotions easier to navigate. 

“Maybe I’m just jealous of her,” you said to him one day. You two were studying in the library and decided to take a walk to the convenience store as a break.

You were ranting about a girl in your group project that seemed like a spoiled brat being egged on by her boyfriend. You were saying she is so stubborn because when it comes to her and her boyfriend he’ll give her anything. 

“Really?” Logan asked, from what it sounded like the girl was a total bitch.

“I mean she’s in what seems to be a very loving relationship where a guy will die for her and I’m out here fending for myself,” you sighed, “I know I don’t really seem the romance type but I would like to have someone in my corner.”

It’s me, Logan thought but he nodded to what you were saying.

“I think everyone is the romantic type. Wanting to be seen isn’t a crazy ask,” Logan said, his hands shoved in his jean pockets while you sauntered ahead. Your vanilla perfume blew right into his nose as he admired your cozy state. A hoodie and sweatpants was what you wore but Logan thought you never looked better.

“Look at you with the advice this time,” you teased.

“I just learn from the best,” Logan grinned, “But also that girl sounds like a total brat so don’t let her relationship status distract you.”

“Yeah she really is the worst,” you said with a laugh.

You looked over to give him one of those signature smiles which had him thinking how he could keep that facial expression permanent on your face for as long as he was around. 

The conversation echoed in his head which led Logan to a new train of thought. Had he mistaken his feelings towards Hannah as love instead of jealousy? Was it ever about Hannah herself or about Hannah and Garrett? Briar Bitch, well he supposed you, had suggested he write down all the things he liked about Hannah and aside from the normal “she’s a good person” there were no specific things. He just thought about the way Garrett and her had danced tonight, or Garrett even throwing her a surprise party, or Hannah always cheering the loudest whenever Garrett was on the ice. 

He just wanted someone in his corner like Garrett and Hannah had.

You were a genius. Even when you weren’t talking to him you made his figure out the impossible.

So Logan quickly grabbed the nearest sheet of paper and began to write down all the things he loved about you. He was going to prove himself. 

–

Later once you calmed down and Allie left the room you did a brave thing and turned your phone off to not disturbed. Sure enough the only texts were from the one and only John Logan. And two from Amy liking the message that you got home and then wishing you words of comfort.

(1) Miss Call from John Logan

John Logan

I’m so sorry about the Fifth Line post. Jules promised me that it only got 50 views and half of them were bots. They showed me the stats. I am really sorry they posted that. For what it’s worth I don’t care that you’re Briar Bitch but your secret is safe with me.

John Logan

I’m also sorry for making you feel like a distraction. You’re not. Never were.

John Logan

I’m sorry for everything. Please don’t shut me out.

Your eyes began to sting again as you reread his texts in the middle of the night. Instead of replying you decided to open up your chat with Amy. There were some other things you needed to take care of before dealing with Logan.

You

Hey I need to tell you something tomorrow

Next Part

A/N: Yeah it got worst... BUT now Logan gets to grovel! Also I've been enjoying writing this so much that I think I'll extend it to another chapter or two just based on how much I've been writing. Thank you again for your support and comments! Just the war is over now we're getting into the good parts.