It's Magical

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What is aftercare:       Aftercare is a form of providing comfort for your significant other, usually one who takes on the role of a submissive. It causes them to feel safe, and secure. It is a way to reduce the chance of Subdrop. Aftercare is common in the BDSM scene due to the intensity of the scenes or actions that take place. BUT it is also extremely important in the CGL community as well. 

    Using Aftercare after a punishment has been done is really important. It shows that while you had to punish them, you still love them! You still care about them and their needs and how they are feeling.

    It is also important to know that aftercare is needed by dominants as well, this is not something that is for subs only. Be aware of how your partner is doing before and after a scene or relationship experience. It’s important to be aware of these things to avoid a potential relationship damaging experience. 

     If you ignore subdrop or the needs of your partner, it is possible for them to lose interest. They will become distant. They lose their trust in you. They will begin to find less enjoyment in entering a scene or aspects of the relationship dynamic with you. 

Examples of Aftercare: 

Snuggling

Drawing them a bubble bath

Cuddles and a movie

Gentle caressing 

Just holding your partner

Giving them a bath

A massage

Using soothing lotions on bruises/marks

A short nap with your partner

Petting/soothing with words. (i.e. good girl/good boy/ you did so well)

Giving a treat (warm milk/tea/some goldfish, etc)

Brushing their hair

Watching a movie of your partner’s choice

Reading a book to them

Kissing their marks/bruises/wounds

Letting them know they’re safe

Wrapping them in their favorite blanket with their favorite stuffed animal

Ensuring their comfort item is within reach

Treating any potential injuries/wounds

Having a deep conversation/heart to heart

Reading them a story

Preparing a meal for you and them, ensuring they eat and hydrate

Answering questions they ask -remaining calm during it.

Ask how they are feeling and checking often

Validate them

Be emotionally available and understanding

For more information about aftercare check out these following links:

Imagine that you have a goal of getting in shape. After trying different diets and exercise programs, you find that you keep straying from them and inevitably you find yourself back at square 1.

You want it to be different this time, so you finally take the plunge: you hire a personal trainer.

You tell your trainer “ok, I have a goal to be able to run the Boston marathon by next year.”

“Ok”, says your trainer, “how much time do you have every week to devote to this, and are there any types of exercise you are unwilling or unable to do?”

“Well, I have an hour a day on weekdays and can make 3 hours on Saturdays and Sundays, and I have some shoulder problems so I can’t do too much upper body work and I’m unwilling to do stairs because I want to keep my knees healthy”.

So your trainer, working within those limits, draws you up a diet and exercise program, says “this is what I need you to do at minimum, and we’re going to start here work our way up”.

You start your program, and your trainer keeps you accountable. When you slip, your trainer reminds you of your goals and tells you how to make up for the missed exercise or the extra calories.

Now, the most important part of all of this is that even though the personal trainer may be the one giving the orders, ultimately that trainer works for you, not the other way around. And if that trainer steps out of line, you take your business elsewhere. You hold ultimate power, even if it doesn’t look like it in the moment.

Congrats, anon. You just described a power exchange relationship in completely vanilla terms!

Hope this helps!

Wouldn't you leave as soon as you felt you could? Wouldn't you feel like it's deeply unsettling that this stranger thinks they can subtly dominate you already? Thinks they know you intimately enough to call you a pet name? Or even thinks they know what your turn ons are?