CGL Advice

Thanks for the Question nonnie!Really you could just explain what being a little means to you, because that would absolutely be a good answer!But since I’m sure we’ll get this question again I will write something up so that we can reference back to it later.A little is a person who feels, either mentally or physically, younger than their biological age. Some littles have a headspace they go to where they feel this younger age. Others regress into the littlespace by doing child like activities or thinking. Some just ALWAYS feel younger than they physically are. And others will simply roleplay (we refer to these as AGEPLAYERS). Usually the age a little feels is on the younger side, usually under 10 but higher than 1. Every little is different, and there are MANY different ages or even age ranges a little can identify with.

There is no set way to be a little. Some are sexual. Some are not. There are boys, girls, and genderfluid littles too! Some littles are dominant, and some are submissive, and some even like to switch roles!It’s a great big kinky world and there really are no limitations as to what you can or cannot be when you’re little.

Here are some other really great write ups about being a little and what a little is.

What is a little (link to a blog NOT affiliated with our advice blog)

What is a little? -Ask/response (link to a blog NOT affiliated with our blog)

What is the difference between Little/ageplay - ask/response (link to a blog NOT affiliated with our blog)

What is a little/middle/CG - ask/response (link to a blog NOT affiliated with our blog)

What is DDlg - *scroll down and you’ll see what is a little* (link to an OUTSIDE blog NOT affiliated with our blog) 

What is a little? - a little understanding (link to an OUTSIDE website NOT affiliated with our blog)

Littles vs Ageplayers - a little understanding (link to an OUTSIDE website NOT affiliated with our blog)

xoxoCGL Advice Team 

http://cgl-advice.tumblr.com/post/130091881234/what-is-a-middle

I just wanted to remind everyone that we do have an FAQ! I plan on updating it soon, but I’ve gotten such an influx of the same questions I wanted to remind everyone that we do indeed have such a page on our blog!

We’ve actually answered a few questions on LDR in the past.

Check out our ideas and previous answers!>>here<<>>here<<

xoxoCGL Advice Team

My advice to you is this:

Come up with punishments that actually modify negative behavior instead of enforcing it. Funishments are all well and good, but if you actually want to leave a lasting impact of “Don’t do this again” on your Little, it has to be something that they don’t like. For instance, one of my punishments is losing the right to music in the car when I drive. I hate that, but it definitely gets the point across.

Give rewards you can actually follow through with. Be realistic. Don’t say that a reward will be a new stuffie if you can’t always get the new stuffie. Don’t focus so much on monetary or material rewards and give your Little things like a movie night in with you, or their choice for dinner one night. Extra Time and attention are the best rewards a Little can receive.

Make rules that you both mutually agree upon for the betterment of yourselves. Choose things you actually want to change about yourself as a rule. Don’t just assign rules to say you have rules. Things like “Let Daddy pick your underwear” are fun, but shouldn’t be the only types of rules you have. Reminders to take medicine, eat three meals if they struggle to remember to eat, drinking water, and other things that improve their general health and well-being work much better.

Lastly, no one can tell you what rules, punishments, and rewards you should have better than you. it’s great to hear suggestions, but ultimately, the choice must be yours and your partners. Things will vary in every relationship, and the only right or wrongs are yours.

Good luck!

Acronyms-

DD- Daddy Dominant MD- Mommy Domme CG- Caregiver LG- Little girl LB- Little Boy LO- Little One CGL- Caregiver & Little DDlg- Daddy Dom & little girl DDlb- Daddy Dom & little boy MDlg- Mommy Domme & little girl MDlb- Mommy Domme & little boy ABDL- Adult Baby Diaper Lover AB- Adult Baby DL- Diaper Lover LDR- Long Distance Relationship SSC- Safe Sane consensual RACK- Risk Aware Consensual Kink BDSM- Bondage/Discipline Dominant/Submissive Sadism/Masochism D/s- Dominant/submissive NSFW- Not Safe For Work  SFW- Safe for Work SO- Significant Other

Vocabulary-

Little- a little is a person who mentally (or physically) feels younger than they physically are. The term little is often a broad spectrum. It can cover all types of individuals who feel they are younger than their physical age. A little is roughly around the ages of 0-12. We don’t set these ages in stone because not every little has an age and not every little feels they represent the above listed age.  Middle- a middle is a person who mentally (or physically) feels younger than they physically are. The term middle can fall under the little broad spectrum term. It is also known as Lolita & Nymphet. They tend to be mentally older than littles, more around the teen ages. So around 13-17. Once again ages are not set in stone because not every middle has a set age and not ever middle feels they represent the above listed age.  Dominant- An individual who is the “top” in a BDSM relationship or BDSM spectrum relationship. They tend to be the person who makes the rules, and doles out the punishment. They are also the protector of their submissive.  Submissive- A Submissive is an individual who is the “bottom” in a BDSM or BDSM spectrum relationship. They tend to be the person who receives the punishment and have to follow the enforced rules. They are the protected. Switch- An individual who enjoys being both a Dominant and a submissive. They are known as a switch because they “switch” roles sometimes within their relationship or with a different partner. Daddy Dom- a person who prefers a masculine identifying title, sometimes takes on the role of a Dominant but can be the submissive as well. Usually the caretaker for a little. Mommy Domme- a person who prefers a feminine identifying title, sometimes takes on the role of a Dominant but can be submissive as well. Usually the caretaker for a little.  Caregiver- a non gender specific title that represents someone who sometimes takes on the role of a Dominant but can be a submissive. Usually a person who takes on a care taking/caregiving role to a little.  Master- A term that is used for a person who tends to only strictly play a Dominant role. They can be the Dominant of a little, submissive, or pet.  Big- Another non gender specific title that represents someone who sometimes take on the role of a Dominant but can be a submissive. Little space- The head space a little finds themselves in during their transition, regression or when they become their little persona. Some littles are always littles and always in little space. For others it’s something to regress into. Middle space- The head space a Middle finds themselves in during their transition, regression or when they become their Middle persona. Some Middles are always Middles and are always in middle space. For others it’s something they regress into.  Agender- Someone who has no gender. They are genderless. Gender Fluid- A person who flows between gender. They tend to not have a set gender preference. One day they feel one way, another day they feel another way. Gender Neutral- A term that does not specify gender. It does not favor male nor female.  Genderqueer- An umbrella term for all genders other than man and woman, or someone who simply identifies as another gender, a queer gender. Sister- A term commonly used in Poly families, for a person who Identifies as female and is an addition to the CGL group. They can also be a little, middle or ABDL but not always. Brother-  A term commonly used in Poly families, for a person who identifies as a male and is an addition to the CGL group. They can also be a little, middle or ABDL, but not always.  ABDL- As stated above ABDL means Adult Baby Diaper Lover, people who identify themselves as an ABDL will commonly wear diapers and prefer to be treated as more infantile/baby/toddler ages. If a person wants to be treated like a baby but does not want to wear diapers they will call themselves an AB if an individual enjoys wearing diapers but not being treated like a baby they will often refer to themselves as a DL  Androgynous- A style of clothing or appearance, androgyny is also a type of genderqueer, the state of being in between man and woman, or both man and woman. Demiboy-Someone partly a boy, and partly something else, without defining that other part. Demigirl- Someone partly a girl, and partly something else, without defining that other part.

Sexuality Terms & Defintions-

Poly- An individual who is capable of loving more than one person at once. They prefer the company of multiple people but not necessarily all at once. They also are not always sexually involved with their poly family members. It can be a non sexual relationship.  Heterosexual- A person who is sexually attracted to an individual of the opposite sex. Gay/Lesbian- (better term other than homosexual???) An individual who is attracted to the same sex. Bisexual- A person who is sexually attracted to individuals in the same sex as well as the opposite sex.  Asexual- A person who has no sexual feelings or desires towards another person. Pansexual- An individual who has the ability to be sexually attracted to a person no matter their gender.  Aromantic- A person who lacks the desire or interest in romantic feelings towards another person. Panromantic- An individual who has the ability to be romantically attracted to a person no matter their gender. Demisexual-  An individual who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. Demiromantic- An individual who only experiences romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection beforehand.

Kinks and their definitions-

Pet Play- a form of role playing that involves a person taking on the role of a pet and another taking on the role of the Master. Common examples are kitten, puppy and pony.   Teacher/student- A form of role play that involves a person taking on the role of a student and the other the role of a teacher and acting out a sometimes sexual scenario.  Rope Play- A kink that is not always sexual in nature but involves a person being bound, suspended, or tied in some fashion with ropes. Impact Play- A kink that involves spanking, flogging, cropping, paddling, or anything that involves “impact” on the body. (most commonly used in the CGL realm as spanking) This kink is not always a sexual kink. Wax Play- A kink that involves playing with heated and melted wax in safe conditions. Where an individual willingly pours hot wax (specialty bought for this purpose) on their partner or themselves. Certain waxes need to be used to prevent harm. This kink is not always sexual in nature. Age Play- a type of role play where an individual acts out an age younger than they physically are. They are playing out a role. Because of this they are not considered littles. 

This list of terms and definitions has been CAREFULLY created by our blog and team. PLEASE do not use this as your own work. You are welcome to re-blog and share but do not steal our hard work! Please and thank you!

Hi hi! thank you so much for the question, sorry it took me almost a day to answer it, but I wanted to think up some really good stuff for you!LDRs are not easy, adding a level of CGL in there makes it even more difficult! I commend people who try super hard and make the work!Here are some LDR punishment ideas:-Set up a sticker chart. These can be done online or you can each print one off. set it up so that after so many stickers you can get a reward. *maybe something off of an amazon wish list or something else agreed upon* If there is a level of misbehaving a sticker is removed. Each of you keep track of the others sticker chart.-soap in the mouth or other similar form of punishment and require a picture of it or for it to be done via skype/video chatting.

-Denying play time as you mentioned is a good idea, it’s a go to for a lot of LDRs.-Writing lines is great! I would suggest you take pictures of it and show them.-Denied orgasms, meaning that they CAN play but they can not have an actual orgasm. This is called Edging in the BDSM world.- No sweets or pop/soda, REQUIRE them to send picture of every meal or food they eat & what they are drinking.- Corner time, make sure you time it and watch them via Skype or Face Time. -Spanking - These will be self inflicted. Require that they also do this over video chat or send you pictures of the aftermath (red bum). You will be able to determine if they are spanking themselves hard enough. (Or you can keep a tally of spankings earned and when you are no longer in a LDR relationship or spend time together these can be inflicted over time)-Early bed times.-Tumblr/TV/Internet restrictions - you can tell by time stamps if they’ve blogged anything! TV would have to go by trust though.-Essay writing, this is similar to the lines, but can be used for them to understand why their behavior was bad.-Forced wetting, if they are so inclined to wear diapers or if they prefer big girl panties, you can force them to wet themselves. -Denied collar time. If they have earned a collar you can require them to take it off for a certain amount of time (this is good for pets) - WHILE THE COLLAR IS OFF THEY ARE NO LESS YOUR little. This is just a reminder their behavior disappointed you.

AS ALWAYS ALL PUNISHMENTS SHOULD BE AGREED UPON BY ALL PARTIES IN THE RELATIONSHIP, IF THE PUNISHMENTS INVOLVE A HARD LIMIT FOR THEM OBVIOUSLY IT SHOULD NOT BE USED.

“pink teddy bear” little space board