The Love Sick Devil Herself🍅

Goodbye white people no more cheeseboard

What have white people ever done to deserve this?

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

twin peaks is unreal. agent cooper will say something absolutely off the fucking cuff like “now, this is very important: in my dream last night, there was a man with three glasses of water, and when one of the glasses of water broke, the water didn’t spill, it just stayed there, stuck in midair. that’s how i know james couldn’t have done it. now, this is something that’s been really troubling me: at the end of the dream he gave me a slice of rhubarb pie, and man, have i been craving it all morning since! do you know where in town i could get something like that?” and meanwhile sherrif truman is literally twirling his hair and kicking his feet like “teehee whatever you say dale! 🥰 you always have the best ideas <333”