Craziful

everyone has a story, and every story is worth being told.

I am wondering there is anyone who can give me any kind of advice how to exceed in the career. How to ensure our patients are getting what they need out of me. Any advice, stories or recommendations would be help! Thank you

Out the window, out the door, you're not welcome here anymore.

a lot of people try and find this type of nurturing in relationships (or just random sex), drugs, alcohol or friends. do not rely on other people's love and nurture. rely on your own.

I'm working on understanding that I deserve happiness and love, but right now I don't think I do.

I’ve always been fascinated by the sky and all of its belongings; the sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, planes, and hot air balloons. It was an overwhelming kind of comfort to look up and see something so large and vast that my brain could not even fathom. That even the little things that I worry about on a daily basis will never in a billion years amount to the space that is out there. I have been fascinated by outer space since I was young. I remember the day I actually paid attention to the big world and fell in love with the stares. It was a warm summer night, the street lights had just come on and it was time to go in. Mom was sitting on the porch when I ran back up to the house and I sat down beside her, leaned back on my palms and looked up. Mom must’ve noticed my awe, I could feel her staring at me, probably smiling. She pulled me closer and wrapped me in a big hug and started to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”. My mom was not the affectionate type or the type to break out in song, even if just a lullaby. We sang the song and in that moment I slipped away. I was so warm, happy and safe in my moms arms. Just like that it was over. Time to go to bed. I would spend the next few years trying to recapture that moment and feeling. Asking and begging my mom to sit with me on the front porch to look at the fascinating stars and sing that stupid song.  She was just busy; working and taking care of two other children. Sometimes when the street lights would come on I would run home to sit on the porch and wait for her; but as I would peek into the house I would see she was distracted with other motherly duties. I would come into the house, kiss her goodnight, go up to my room, sit in the window, look at the stars and sing that stupid fucking song. 

*rolls eyes* 

i have a big project im working on. my therapist says i need to desperately work on myself. self-love, self-esteem, self-worth, self- control, self-anything. it's a project that will take months to even see progress, there will never be a finished project because this is something i will have to work on until the day i die. but where do you start when you have self-hatred, unworthiness and "i am nothing but a fuck up" flowing through your mind, body and soul (?) ill figure it out.