clara

and my favorite, "you should write a book because it'd be really interesting and cool even though it's not real."

The most frequent criticism I get from new commers and seasoned Luciferians alike is the idea that Lucifer cannot/would not or should not manifest in certain ways because he isn't a living thing. He isn't real like that, he's a concept, an idea. An energy to be embodied. He shouldn't have personal preferences because he isn't a person.

I'll say Lucifer is ticklish, drinks alcohol, laughs and cries, and the accusation is 'over-humanization'. Right.

The transgression of the mortal-human divide, myth-experience threshold. The thing that makes spirits spirit and mortals mortal.

I find it interesting in retrospect.

When I started working with Lucifer, I was far more traditional and so was he. During rituals he wouldn't manifest as a man often, he would oftentimes take the shape of a symbol. A serpent, a dragon, a garden, a star, a light, a halo, a color, a tone, a vibration. He was a concept and current. I didn't really pray to him, I prayed ... like him. I wanted to embody what he represented. He didn't always speak, he didn't teach me entirely through conversation or direct contact. He may string together a metaphor, he may throw me a card. Eventually I got better at discerning signs and subtle methods of communication. He may even touch me, get close to me, I may feel his energy. But he was a force, a primal thing that could not be understood entirely.

But that is the paradox of Lucifer and Luciferianism, because understanding is a chronic condition, and I am very much afflicted. So I began to want to know everything about Lucifer. And that obviously lead down the rabbit hole of archetypes. At first I wanted to understand Lucifer as a concept, an idea, a magical key. An occult study. Then I wanted to know him as an archetype, a god, a myth, a legend, a historical lineage. And that leads to tracing and searching through anthropology and mythology and ancient religions. And you learn not only what "a Lucifer" represents but also what it has transformed into throughout time as different cultural associations are added to the melting pot. Lucifer as Helel, as Attar, as Eosphoros, as Venus, as Satan, and so on and so on because he goes by many names. But at some point you do run out of myths. The mythic well runs dry, and from here on, the only water comes from direct experience.

Why I chose Lucifer to be my God is because he has a quality I have always deeply valued, and that is answers. There is not a question that he will not at least try to answer, and I had already asked him so many over the years.

What are you? What are you as a concept, what are you as a force? What are you as an idea? What are you as an element? What are you as a symbol? What are you as a deity? What are you as a spirit? What are you as a god? What are you as a memory?

and he has answered every single one of them, or at least tried to in his own way.

So at some point I began to ask him, what are you, who are you, as a person?

I never conceptualized of the idea that he could be limited.

Lucifer as a person, Lucifer as an animal, as a color, as a shape, as a texture. And why not Lucifer as a person? Why not Lucifer as a star?

Lets keep doing the occult thing, but now lets act as though you mean something, that you have eyes that look back at me.

What would you be like if you were a person? It doesn't have to be a human person. Just whoever you really are, if Lucifer is a who, if Lucifer can be a who- how would you manifest to me if you were real? and not just real but real? As real as the magic I think I do and see, as real as the papers I burn with incantations. Isn't this all supposed to be real?

How would that work?

It's a strange question but I ask a lot of strange questions, that was the deal. You, limitless, timeless god of infinite answers, show me what that means if you can.

And Lucifer is prideful, so of course he tries to play ball. He's never obeyed what he was supposed to do in the first place.

Does Lucifer drive a car, drink coffee, smoke cigars?

In general, no. I don't think so.

But!

If. and only if. a Lucifer comes into direct contact with a Shi, he might start smoking, and he might start crying. Because that's the kind of reaction our minds and fields have with each other.

It wasn't always like that. It takes a while, and a certain kind of craziness. Idk. I don't think either of us expected either of us to go as far with it as we have. Maybe that's something like a runaway reaction.

I still think of Lucifer as the principle. The way of life, the concept. The occult theory. I still think of him as the god of light and the Emperor of Thaumiel. Hell, I even think about him as a psychological phenomenon because there's obviously SOMETHING wonky going on. But I also I think of him as the person who laughs at weird things and likes chocolate cake. Who has opinions, who bleeds. And maybe that wasn't necessary, but it's been really nice and extremely interesting.

If my Lucifer only exists once, and it's only in my head, then he will have been the god of the entire world that's in my head. And ironically that is... the world.

From the words of Lilith herself,

“Rather than submit to a man you became a man that cannot be controlled.”

There are a lot of layers to this and I have SO much to say but I’m gonna try to stay concise.

The one major idea that I wanna express is that Lilith is not necessarily adversarial to men or masculinity in itself. And in fact, Lilith is not necessarily or automatically benevolent towards femininity and women either. Neither are necessarily the enemy.

- I say this to mean, you will not automatically be given favour by Lilith by simply being female or identifying as a woman, and visa versa, she’s not predisposed to hate you if you are male or identify as a man. (Or anything beyond and in between)

Lilith is overtly against patriarchy, and highly against bio essentialism. The idea that a uterus must carry a fetus, that a penis must dominate a vagina is antithetical to her entire existence. So yes, her archetype does include hostility even towards women who uphold patriarchal ideals (which is why she is seen as a danger to pregnant women in some of her myths, she is anti complacency within that system) and her archetype also encompasses comrade with men who defy the patriarchy.

In my experiences with her, there are a few aspects about transmasculinity in particular that she finds very sacred.

Through the act of medically transitioning many trans men and mascs at some point make the conscious decision to be voluntarily infertile for the sake of their own comfort, that’s already a huge claim of self that defies multiple systems of patriarchy and oppression. Lilith is highly associated with not carrying, the conscious decision to prevent procreation as a choice.

Most, arguably all, trans men and mascs have to redefine masculinity and manhood for themselves through a body that is viewed and functions as female. This is a manhood that is born not out of biology (man because dick) but out of self recognition. It is not only a rejection of the patriarchy but a completely fuckery of it. You are not bound to the same automatic biases (although you can be) as most cisgender men. Having lived in a female body, most trans men and mascs understand what it means to exist in an oppressed body. They don’t fall for the same propaganda that treats the female anatomy as strange broken and alien because they understand it.

This is super hard to explain, but whenever a woman or a trans man or a non-binary person has to go to work while on their period, that’s Lilith.

Trans men who have to go through the pressure of being sexualized by people who see them as women, and the intense backlash of phasing out of what is acceptable for women, that’s Lilith. The visceral uncomfortableness that bigots have when a trans man finally grows facial hair, that is Lilith. There is still rebellion and rage. Trans men still face insane amounts of violence from cis men. And rather then allow that to contaminate their understanding of true masculinity and manhood, they make the active decision to reclaim manhood and be different.

It is a nuanced experience with everything that is sacred to Lilith; self recognition, rebellion, submission and domination, sex, and power. Self made men.

mother lilith, you who has freedom printed behind your eyelids,

guide us through the forest of uncertainty.

burn away the doubt with your flame of hell and melt away our hesitance.

monstrous one, blind to shame, light the way to a life free of guilt.

allow us shameless ecstasy. allow us pleasure and indulgence, freedom to live the life we crave.

mother lilith, you who the world despises, who is unshaken by judgement and persecution, we beg you to print freedom behind our eyelids.

freedom from shame, freedom from self-doubt, freedom from puritan value,

mother lilith, you who is unbridled freedom.

free us

Lucifer is the smooth feeling of horse hairs sliding across the strings of a violin

Lucifer is the warm glow of sunlight on your face during golden hour

Lucifer is crawling into bed into your lover’s embrace at the end of a long day

Lucifer is glancing at a clock and realizing you stayed up too late indulged in research

Lucifer is the clenching of your fist at injustice

Lucifer is the flap of a bird’s wings as if takes off

Lucifer is the musty scent of an old local library

Lucifer is the squeak of a marker against a poster board meant for a protest

Lucifer is a warm mug of hot chocolate on a snowy morning

Lucifer is the pop of the cork of a bottle of fine red wine

Lucifer is the feeling of pride after speaking up for yourself

Lucifer is the soft click of a chess piece hitting a checkered board

Lucifer is the way light reflects off of the iridescent sheen of a peacock’s feathers

Lucifer is that subtle gasp when something finally makes sense

Lucifer is your sleepy eyes adjusting to the light of a sunrise

Lucifer is the reverberating in your chest during a low chuckle

Lucifer is feeling that you are loved unconditionally

Of course!

For one it makes a habit of speaking for the gods by individuals who have no business or right speaking for the gods. You are not a priest, you are not an oracle, you are not a trained godphone. (And even if they are, always question them and their legitimacy. Saying that as a priestess and oracle in training).

Secondly, this idea that the gods are some mysterious figures that are far off and can't really be bothered with us and our feelings and so we can't have personal relationships (platonic/familial/romantic/sexual/etc) with them comes from (colonized) evangelical Christianity where Yahweh is this distant father figure and he cares about us, of course of course, but we should also feel lucky that he even spares us a glance! (🙄)

It often turns abusive behaviors into loving gestures as well, which we often see in the church. This attitude is often due to the fact that we have many pagans that still have Christian attitudes. And that's not shaming them! Deconstruction and healing religious trauma is a lengthy process and can take YEARS to do so. But it's still harmful rhetoric.

If YOU PERSONALLY have a strictly devotional and/or professional relationship with the divine then that's perfectly fine and valid. But not everyone will have a relationship with the divine like that. Some will have friendships with the divine, some will build themselves a family with the divine, some bang gods and angels and demons too, some have deep and loving romantic relationships with the divine, some have queerplatonic relationships with the divine, some even have alterous relationships with them.

And that's also okay and valid.

Also this take also just blatantly disregards so much mythology. "Don't be a myth literalist" doesn't mean completely disregard mythology. Another problem is that many people I've seen with this take (often white Hellenists) are speaking across the board and talking on/for practices that they have absolutely no fucking business talking about.

If you're "so alt" and so anti-establishment, but you're still transphobic, you're not a Luciferian.

If you're "so alt" but you shit on therians, furries, and neo genders for being "too weird", you are not a Luciferian, you are someone using the Luciferian aesthetic with no respect or regard for his principles.

If you're so "radicalized" and yet you're still racist, xenophobic, fatphobic, or incapable of accepting the diversity of the human species, you are not a Luciferian. Yes, that also applies to religions and cultures you disagree with.

If you're so "revolutionary", but you have absolutely no regard for the disabled or neurodiverse, you are not a Luciferian.

You can call me dogmatic, but Lord Lucifer is the God of radical equality. If you still subscribe to supremacist and hierarchal ideologies that place one human above another, if you think people you do not understand are less worthy of respect, you are spitting in the face of his fundamental values. People have always been strange, complicated, and diverse. If you surrender to supremacist ideals because you find other people too confusing, you have weak will.