Let me 🐝...

“That’s something that I can remember really clearly. And she used to do the university analogy. And she used to say, “I knew you were going to leave home at some point, but I had at least a time scale to that. I could like work towards in my head, okay, you know, in 3 months time he’s going to leave for uni and that’s that.“ One Direction never happened like that. You know, it all ran away with itself. So, I think it felt like we all blinked and before we knew it, I was no longer living at home. So, my mom had no time to even grieve that idea of like— and just for context, I mentioned this in… I made like a film and documentary, and it kind of sums up me and my mom’s relationship perfectly. The first person I told when I lost my virginity was my mom. Like, I was as if as if I was telling like one of my lad mates and I wasn’t telling her for any other reason other than to show off and be like, “Guess what happened tonight.” And that we definitely had that kind of energy together, you know? I always always saw her more as a best friend than anything else. And especially ‘cause I was her first. She had me when she was 19. We spent the first few years together without a male role model. So it was a little deeper than your average, you know, son and mother situation. So I think it really hit me like a ton of bricks. If I had my time again, I would have been more present and aware of those kind of ideas. And I actually, here’s a story. Actually, I’ve never told Daisy and Phoebe this. Daisy and Phoebe are two of my sisters who are identical twins. And they’re about four or five years younger than Lottie, so they’re about 21. Now, I could always tell them apart perfectly, but they look utterly identical, these two, especially when they were really young. And I can remember the more time I spent at the band, the more time I spent away from home, I wasn’t confident enough to use their name to them. You know, it would be always like, “Oh, babe,” or like, you know, something that way I wouldn’t have to mention the name because I wasn’t certain who was who. These are two sisters that I spent my life with and grew up with, but I think shows just how little I was at home. And if my mom would come out to see me, which was great, but other, you know, the kids were at school and stuff like that. So there was a long time for those out of those 5 years we’re in the band a long time spent not spending enough time with family and that I would say that was 85% the job and the situation and One Direction and stuff and then 15% me too like, I could definitely have done more like that but you know when you’re living a life like we did in One Direction, free time is so competitive and when you’re young you’re not smart enough to realize the value of this family time.”