LiveInHopeNow

….because you are enough 🤎🤍 (at Durham, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CifHymvORcE/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Hello 🌾👀🌾 Yes- It’s me and I’m making my way back! For those of you that don’t know, August 2021 was one of the toughest moments in my life. • • I was hospitalized for suicide ideation… • • I’m not sharing for attention, but because I want others to not suffer in silence. There is great strength in asking for help, it’s actually way harder than hiding behind the pain. I had to learn that through my own personal experience, because lawd knows how embarrassed I have been about my mental health. • • I fought a war for 17 years against PTSD, and started using alcohol at 16 yrs. old to cope🥴 But , that’s behind me now. Behind me, because I am no longer allowing myself to be a prisoner to those things. • • More to come, but just know I have 3 months without alcohol and I have never laughed more, smiled this often, or looked more beautiful! 🦋I fell down, but my come back game is stronger than ever 🥰 • • I found my freedom… and I know I don’t fight this battle alone. If you are fighting your own war inside, tell someone, and don’t stop until you are heard ! Know I’m here rooting for you every step of the way 💛💛 With Love, LotusFlower, RN 🌺 (at Durham, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWb7Qs_siEx/?utm_medium=tumblr

Girls just want to have fun 🖤🤍❤️ Happy Belated Halloween 🎃! I didn’t do anything for Halloween this year, but I had been talking about dressing as Cruella and having Amani as my Dalmatian for months now 🐶 Life doesn’t always go as planned, but you can do your best to live it up in the moments you are granted✨ It felt good to stick to my heart and dress up anyways, despite things being different❤️ Thank you Amani for always sticking by my side through all my wild ideas. #loyalaf💯 🤪 (at Durham, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVyFbxZr7NM/?utm_medium=tumblr

Learning how to fly my wings again 🦋 (at Spring Haven Farm) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUAjRZXrdnP/?utm_medium=tumblr

𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚇. As I try to close up one chapter and move to the next, I’m forced to reflect on my story up until this point in my life. The last 3 years have been a tough road, while battling trauma, depression, and PTSD everyday. I have been tired and exhausted for a long time now. However, today I can truly say “I am proud of you girl” ✨ Today, I officially started my doctorate degree at Duke University 👩🏼‍🎓💙 The more knowledge I gain, the more knowledge I have to share with my community. ✊🏽 This degree is for US ✊🏽 Y’all It’s been a journey, but I’m so thankful to be here! With love, Future Dr. LotusFlower, RN 🌺 #futuredoctor #doctor #nurse #blacknursesrock #blackgirlmagic #blacklivesmatter #blackexcellence #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters (at Durham, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSpnbGFLHfB/?utm_medium=tumblr

ᔕIᔕTᗴᖇ • A year ago yesterday, the universe saw us fit to join forces in changing the world of Black Maternal-Child Health. 🤎🤍 My life has been forever changed. And now, I get to celebrate another one of your new beginnings. ✨✨ Please welcome our Future of Public Health !! 🌎 I’m so proud of you for pursuing your dreams. You always have a fan in me gurl 💕 Keep changing the world , and don’t let nobody tell you different. 👊🏼 Stay magical my beautiful unicorn 🦄✨ (at UNC Chapel Hill) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSmkwUcrtlB/?utm_medium=tumblr

𝔽𝕠𝕔𝕦𝕤 🍃🪴 Don’t get lost in your present moment. I know it may be a struggle. But, try to look beyond what is right in front of your eyes. 💫✨ I am able to REST my mind and body because I am FOCUSED on what’s to come. I know my current state does not define the rest of my future. 💫✨ “͟I͟t͟ i͟s͟ d͟u͟r͟i͟n͟ ͟g o͟u͟r͟ d͟a͟r͟k͟e͟s͟t͟ m͟o͟m͟e͟n͟t͟s͟ t͟ ͟h͟a͟t͟ w͟e͟ m͟u͟s͟t͟ f͟o͟c͟u͟s͟ t͟o͟ s͟e͟e͟ t͟h͟e͟ l͟i͟ ͟g ͟h͟t͟.“͟ While you are drowning it is hard to think about anything besides oxygen. But, once you figure out how to swim, remember where you started and FOCUS on where you are heading. 💫✨ #focus #recovery #healing #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthquotes #depression #anxiety #inspiration #writer #writerscommunity 💚💚 (at Durham, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSmY5IDr8YP/?utm_medium=tumblr

𝚃ᕼᗴ Tᗩᒪᗴ Oᖴ Tᕼᗴ ᘜIᖇᒪ Oᑎ ᕼᗴᖇ ᗷᗩᑕK You could think lying on your back would be easy. But... I can't even look you in the eyes While you climb on top and do as you please. Does it even matter if I am in the room. I guess not, because you don't even notice. Notice that I am not in the mood, notice that it doesn't feel good, notice that I am only doing this to make you happy. I would be lying though if I told you I had never been here before. Yet, the confusion is just the same...Shouldn't it be easy to just lie on your back? Read the happy ending @ https://lotusflowerrn.com/2021/08/14/the-tale-of-a-girl-on-her-back/ Or clink the link in my bio 💌 Reach out to me if you need to talk💚 ᗯITᕼ ᒪ𝙤𝙫𝙚 ᗩᒪᗯᗩYᔕ, ᒪOTᑌᔕᖴᒪOᗯᗴᖇ_ᖇᑎ 🌺 #writer #poetry #writersofinstagram #trauma #recovery #mentalhealth #survivor #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #depressionhelp #mystory #her #herstory #believewomen #believesurvivors #believe #journey #healing #healer #tattoo #lotusflower (at Raleigh, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSjxDXQL9MI/?utm_medium=tumblr

💔💔💔 To my sister I didn’t protect The people that ostracized me To the only family I had that made me feel guilty I hate that this happened to you too I hate that you yearn for freedom and live carrying this dark pain My wound is still raw and still burns The pain is nagging It nags and nags and nags, And nags and nags I hate that I didn’t warn you I was suffocated by fear But I’m proud of you You did the right thing I’m here to hold your hand To cry and yell and cry and scream #survivor #awareness #canceltrauma #cancelviolence #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #protectblackwomen #gaslighting #shouldbeacrime #mylife #mystory #believeme #believesurvivors (at Raleigh, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSZk2FdLIuJ/?utm_medium=tumblr

𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚢. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t lose my self in social media as I conquer one of my biggest fears....

🇦 🇲 🇦 🇳 🇮 🤍 Yesterday was your “Gotcha Day!” girlfriend 💁🏼‍♀️ !!! And, I cannot began to describe how you have changed my life since adopting you. I had no idea what I was signing up for when I adopted you. You are the first dog I have ever had. But now, you are my first true love. 🤍 I never knew how much I needed you, until I had you. You ran into my life when I was scared and broken. But, you mended my heart and gave me hope again. You gave me a reason to get up and try everyday. I love our snuggles, our staring contests, dodging you licking my mouth, apologizing to friends for the blessing you left on their carpet your first time there, our tug-a-wars, never being alone (not even to 💩), and running through the house playing tag like ya girl is 9 again ! Wouldn’t trade YOU for the world. Amani- You showed me parts of love that I didn’t know existed within me. I love you girl ! Thank you for always entertaining my shenanigans, like me always finding an excuse to dress you up 👗☝🏼. But, more importantly, thank you for being my loyal protecter, my best friend , and my reason for not quitting. 🌻 #dogmom #dogoftheday #dogsofinstagram #dogs #gotchaday #life #beauty #blessed #love #loyalty #bestfriend #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters (at Raleigh, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CR9POdwrxb2/?utm_medium=tumblr

🤔 My day started with a refreshing phone call from one of my sisters 👯‍♀️ • While sparing y’all the 2-hour long details that transpired• We processed our current barriers, we shared our goals, we uplifted each other, held each other accountable, we had an honest talk• It left me feeling encouraged• & that it is “OK” to dream forever ✨• To not take life for face value, to not grow content , but to always search for more • I needed this more than I thought, because I didn’t realize how much I am seeking shelter in my comfort zone. • So, today I am breaking down walls that have been built. • I want to break free from the corner I have been in • It whispers lies that “I’m not good enough” • So, today, on post-op day #3, I’m grateful for being a D͜͡r͜͡e͜͡a͜͡m͜͡e͜͡r͜͡. ⛅️ #neverstopdreaming #ihaveadream #dream #love #selfie #selflove #girl #smile #blackgirlmagic #sisterhood #lotusflowerrn #lotusflower_rn #life #nurse #journey #happy #beauty #healing #recovery (at Raleigh, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CR65qkwrvUs/?utm_medium=tumblr

Post-Op Day # 1 • Hello loves!! Happy Tuesday !! So many things to share , but I’m going to keep it short and sweet ! 🍯 • • As you know, I had a recent injury, and yesterday was my big surgery 💉 • • This opportunity has granted me a lot of time to reflect on life’s joys and lessons 📚 • • And, I want to share the moments I am grateful for with you! So, I will be posting and checking-in throughout this journey✨ • • Hoping to share light and positivity for others who may be healing and on their own road to recovery. 🦋 • • So, for today , on post-operative day #1 : I’ᴍ Gʀᴀᴛᴇғᴜʟ Fᴏʀ Lɪғᴇ. 🌻 • • ...To still have the opportunity to fight through life’s unexpected hurdles. But, also experience the rewards from not giving up. 🥇 • • This is my promise to not give up on myself, and I hope you find it in your heart to do the same for yourself ! 🤍 • • Sorry, not super short, but I promise I tried 🤣 It’s still sweet though 🤷🏼‍♀️ #lotusflowerrn #lotusflower_rn #recovery #recoveryispossible #healing #journey #nurse #nurselife #lifestyle #blackgirlmagic (at Durham, North Carolina) https://www.instagram.com/p/CR1iU2SLemX/?utm_medium=tumblr

Taking a Break 😎 Phewwww. Where to start. A “break”, what does this word mean. According to dictionary.com the verb form means : “..... to shatter, burst, or become broken; separate into parts or fragments, especially suddenly and violently....” Well when I found out about the break in my leg a few weeks back, my life felt like it shattered and broke as well. But, that is not even close to what this accident has brought me. Those are the lies my mind tried to tell me. In fact, it brought me clarity, a rebirth, a chance to think, a chance to breathe again... I have been nonstop grinding in school and work and so engrossed in finding “success” that I lost myself in the process. Having a broken leg , has given me the chance to regroup and refocus. Having this time to reflect has moved me farther than my legs would have ever been able to. 💪🏼 I hope next time I listen when God is talking to me, so we don’t have to resolve to such a dramatic method for making forward movement 😅✨🙏🏽 Thank you to my amazing partner, family, and friends for all the support 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 (at In The Clouds) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRmBJVErgbO/?utm_medium=tumblr

Stop and smell the roses 🌻🌺~ Life can have you in a constant bustle, but don’t forget to stop and appreciate the beauty that’s around you🤍 After a recent accident that has forced me to rest for the next few months, I am able to slow down enough to appreciate all the blessings in my life. ✨✨ (at Banner Elk Winery) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRUrbNerq8c/?utm_medium=tumblr

I’m this type of friend 🤎 I’ll stand in the parking spot, and ignore every car that tries to park there until my Sis gets there 😂 Even if she running late 😅 But truth is, taking photos is hard for me. It always has been since I was a little girl. I just feel awkward 🥴 However, my sis saw a moment to capture the beauty she sees within me. Find you a circle that pushes you to do the things that don’t feel easy ✨🌻✨ (at Sidewalk) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRPSgger1zW/?utm_medium=tumblr