THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING
Aww poor widdle piggies... seriously though are we meant to care about these cops piddly ass feelings after all they've done. They make me sick 🤮😠
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@losttotime1
THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING
Aww poor widdle piggies... seriously though are we meant to care about these cops piddly ass feelings after all they've done. They make me sick 🤮😠

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people who say that all lives matter don't fully understand the situation. so please reblog this so everybody can understand it better.
let me try to explain it to you like this:
Imagine I trip and I scrape my knee. It bleeds, so I get a bandaid. Now you want a bandaid too. You don't need a bandaid though because you didn't trip. You didn't scrape your knee. Your knee isn't bleeding.
Or maybe like this:
Imagine being at an event for supporting people with breast cancer. Nobody would run in and scream "ALL CANCER MATTERS". It's obvious. That's a given. Nobody is saying it doesn't but that's not the point of it.
Some excellent advice from thebraincoach on insta
this user grew up in an alcoholic household
I don’t want to pile on by adding more content about the coronavirus, but it’s been on my mind a lot, and I can’t help but want to make little characters to help anyone struggling right now. This chibird is here to affirm that living in this pandemic can be hard, but we will get through. I hope you all are doing well, and please stay as safe as you can.
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It can be scary right now with the coronavirus affecting so many of our lives, and I’m sending you all lots of positive and calm energy. Things may be bad, but we will get through it with thoughtful actions and care. Stay safe everyone! 💗
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Cruel lies told to you as a little girl. Beautiful lies of the knight who would save you. Painful lies which your mother still believes. Hopeful lies that if you were just perfect enough, you would be worth saving. You carve yourself from the inside out and remove the imperfections. And the knight appears. But he can't save you. You've already decided your own guilt. And what was your crime? You're not sure anymore. Days roll into months and months to years. Every memory, every mistake beats you into submission. Guilt and blame twist and fester inside you, obscuring the truth. The knight watches on, helpless, as the lies crush you.
The morally gray mind and OCD
The cancel culture on this website is so fucking harmful. Enforcing the idea that if you made a mistake you should be condemned by society, never allowed to change, make amends, or learn from your mistakes. The idea that you must be forever defined by a version of yourself that is no longer alive.
For people who are mentally ill (especially those with OCD), having someone constantly enforce this black & white idea of never practicing forgiveness, never teaching instead of punishing is so damaging.
For many of us who suffer from OCD, we already beat ourselves up for actions we did years ago. We condemn ourselves for bad thoughts because culture is teaching us that if you arent 100% unproblematic, 100% clean, then you must be a bad person unworthy of empathy and connection.
The amount of times I've compulsively confessed bad thoughts or memories to the people I love is ridiculous. I felt like an imposter, because surely if they knew xyz about me they would stop loving me. Every time I've done it has only puzzled my loved ones. I've been met with the same response dozens of times. "I could never stop loving you. What matters is who you are today."
I've had to learn how to forgive myself, and most importantly, love myself. All of myself, including my flaws.
As my therapist once told me, "it's okay to be human."
Moral OCD
As I mentioned in my last post, things have been better thanks to regular exercise and also making an effort to eat healthily. Unfortunately, healthy sleep habits haven’t found me yet. A couple of months ago, I realised my OCD also has a moral aspect to it that seems to work together with real event OCD to make my life hell at times.
I really struggle to sleep. I stay up for hours and hours assessing everything I’ve done to figure out if I’m a bad person, if the mistakes I’ve made are going to come back to bite me or if I’ve caused someone harm that I’m unaware of. I’ve frequently confessed these mistakes to my husband, but I try to hold back because it seems to make him sad that I unnecessarily punish myself.
I’m starting to recognise the intrusive thoughts causing this problem and deal with them in the right way. It’s just so hard to stop because when the thoughts hit, I really feel like I deserve the punishment I inflict on myself.
Hoping you all can get the restful night you deserve. I’m going to try and get a couple hours too.

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Back with improvements :)
I haven't posted in a long time, but I have been lurking and liking motivational posts almost daily. Sometimes Tumblr is all that gets me through the day!
So since my last post, I have taken a lot more control over the boundaries my mum and grandparents are intent on crossing, and it's slowly and surely paying off. A lot of it has to do with my self-assurance, which has been greatly helped with regular exercise. I know everyone says it, but I honestly cannot stress enough how important exercise is to mental health. There is an unbelievable difference, and I was very skeptical about how much it would actually improve things. It's not a magic, instant fix, and I still do struggle with my OCD, but I do feel more in control of intrusive thoughts, and more positive about handling them.
So anyone out there struggling; exercise if you can! It doesn't have to involve hours down the gym. I do yoga and aerobics all at home and a daily walk outside. Any movement will help, even if all you can manage is getting up and stretching your body or walking from one side of your home to the other. Just anything that gets you moving a bit and that you can build on. If you can find something you enjoy, all the better. Take care, everyone, and don't give up!
The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process.
Before self love you have to invoke self tolerance and self neutrality.
If you can’t say “I love my body!” say “my body gets me from place to place.”
If you can’t say “I’m beautiful,” begin by shutting down the “I’m ugly” thoughts and saying “I’m a person.”
If you can’t say “I’m valuable” begun by shutting down the “I’m worthless” thoughts and say “all people deserve basic respect, and I’m a person.”
If you can’t say “I’m important,” or “I’m kind” say “I am the one who waters my plant every week” or “I am the one who tips the kind barista down the street” or “I am the one who makes sure my dog does not eat plastic” or “I am the one who leaves long comments on people’s fan fictions.”
I'm free! ...for now.
My family visit is finally over and I am so so tired, but also relieved. They are coming back in October, but I managed to set firm boundaries and my gran will be staying with my Mum.
The boundary setting was hard, but I did it for the first time ever!
Here's to putting yourself first for once! And my husband and kids too in my case.
Update: Family Expectations
So I've been trying to lay down the law with my family about these grandparent visits. I do seem to be getting somewhere but it's been hella stressful. Me and my mum are going to sit down and work the visit schedule out. I just need to stay strong and not give in to any demands that don't work for me. I really just want people to stop inviting themself to stay on my couch. This family is so dysfunctional that I have to work so hard to get this.
Family Expectations
So I haven’t posted here in a while. There has just been so many ups and downs that I didn’t even know what to write about.
What’s set me back recently is the ridiculous expectations from my family. As well as caring for my two young children, I’m doing a law degree, working from home and dealing with mental health issues, I’m still expected to have both my grandparents stay with us - at different times because they’re separated - multiple times a year. The count is up to 5 visits between them so far, and I’m trying to talk my Gran out of number 6. I don’t even have a spare room, they have to sleep in the living room.
In comparison, my golden child sister is expected to cook them dinner ONCE per visit. She has to cook for them literally 5 times a year, and she still whinges about it. The worst part is my family acknowledges the amount of work I do but still expect me to bend over backwards for them all the time. They wouldn’t do it for me, and they certainly weren’t there for me growing up.
Sorry, this post just kind of turned into a rant...

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Sick and tired
I’m back - I seem to be using this space to complain when I have tough days, which is actually helping. I used to think writing things down mainly for myself was pointless. The community of OCD related blogs helps the most though.
So I had a good couple of days after I managed to save Father’s day from OCD ruin. Today, nothing particularly bad has happened but thoughts about past mistakes and embarrassing situations hit me full force. I wish I had a better understanding of why or when this is going to happen. I try really hard at everything I do and I’m so so so sick of feeling like a bad person. It’s like OCD takes these past mistakes/events and beats me with them. It makes me really tired suddenly like I've just taken very strong sleeping pills. I then have very vivid trauma-related dreams but on the upside, I feel much better when I wake up.
That’s all from me, goodnight <3