Where the stars meet the sky

i’d be such a bad lawyer i’d just be like ‘your honour, tbh idk and idc like its up to u man’

Thinking fondly about the entire genre of victorian hauntings that were "everybody who stayed in the house after dark saw weird shit going on for months until the entire structure suddenly combusted of its own ghostly accord" which abruptly ended as soon as we stopped lighting our homes with vast quantities of odorless gas

so santa’s wife is home alone tomorrow?

sometimes someone isn’t “toxic,” they’re just “abrasive.” or “mutagenic” or “highly flammable,” and you should always check their material safety data sheet to be sure

screw zodiac signs what’s your NFPA 704

God finally

me, decomposing on my bed: sending you all good vibes :)

pretty fucked up that cold drinks get hot while hot drinks get cold.. bitch stay at the temperature i put u at

secret service coming for all of our asses tomorrow

After calling it “China virus” during the presidential debates, Trump got COVID on 中秋節, a Chinese holiday. This is what happens when you tempt fate this hard.