Hello*

the narrative tension in this picture is outrageous

HOW

to be fair though it has to be accompanied by that exact image, otherwise the format could be read as extreme disbelief/loud exclamations

Hmmmm. No. No sarcasm. Oh no. Never any sarcasm here. What. Whatever would we do if you could display sarcasm through text. Oh my. How could you suggest such a thing. Oh jeez.

That settles it. The older generations are just weak.

do you ever want to stockpile your own blood over the course of a few years and then just go around and start spreading it everywhere before mysteriously disappearing, leaving suspicious amounts of blood throughout the city and turning your whole town into a crime scene which no one can adequately explain outside of somehow being murdered simultaneously at like eight taco bells?

the difference between being blocked on this site vs being blocked on Twitter is so fucking funny

really cant fucking believe that people are getting genuinely angry about a tv show about…cleaning your house…. and calling it ableist cause….they dont wanna clean… i guess

marie kondo: *has a nice show where she helps people clean* tumblr freaks who havent seen daylight in years: shes HURTING ME

brilliant

IT’S 2 O CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND I’M HOWLING MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND NOW I HAVE TO TURN THE COMPUTER OFF FUCK IT WAS SO WORTH IT

The chicken doenst even articulate and it’s more convincing as a living entity than 90% of Hollywood movie monsters

WHAT A JERK

Iirc she also says something like, you may not find that your toothbrush sparks joy but having clean teeth does, your mattress doesn’t spark joy but getting a good sleep does etc so focusing on that helps