windfucker, and/or fuckwind

I'm sorry for (remembers I'm not sorry) You're welcome for all the character posting last night

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

Gf thinks I’m weak

my shrine maiden things im weak plus cause she hits me w rocks but i dont know if thats the same or different as a gf because i havent had one could be nice

^v^

can u stop doin that w yr mouth

^ー^

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

!!!!!!

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.

hey is anyone else sick of having to adapt to horrible conditions over and over again

the humble woolly mammoth

an interest passing feels like being abandoned by the evil spirit that had taken possession of your body

pulling out hanks of grass and sighing listlessly. i kind of miss being posessed. isn't there an evil spirit somewhere that wants to possess meeee

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

I lava good bbq

SIT THE FUCK DOWN

lesbian scifi is so easy. here’s a woman in cargo pants and a tank top on a spaceship. are you with me

maybe it’s not even cargo pants. maybe it’s coveralls rolled to + tied around the waist. maybe she even has fuckoff boots

im a protected species you fucking asshole

"they should be in a healthy relationship with good communication" they should be obsessive freaks who stalk each other and have zero boundaries

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

when you go to the gender clinic you can ask about being buried alive left to scream and claw at the lid of your coffin until you emerge into your real body & your real name but idk if it's covered by insurance