windfucker, and/or fuckwind

top 10 sex positions that will leave naught but ash in your wake

as a vaporeon your only mission in life is to slap your biiiiiiiig damn tail and splash around

as a flareon your only mission in life around is to be fluffy and have an awesome attack stat

as a jolteon your only mission in life is to run around super fuckin fast and be spikey and cool

as an umbreon your only mission on life is to glow and lurch around and go "rrrreaerrr" and stare at stuff with your red eyes

as an espeon your only mission in life is to hear a whole lotta stuff with your big ears and make stuff float and bask in the sun

as a leafeon your only mission in life is to have dope defenses and go around in forests and be cool and green

as a glaceon your only mission in life is to walk around graciously in the cold and lay comfortably in the snow

as a sylveon your only mission in life is to go around joyously and hold onto stuff with your big ribbons and go "(whistling sound)"

harsh words from one of the muppet babies

Bald eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus)

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

As soon as I turn 18 I'm gonna submit myself into the Sexy Woman contests and watch as I loose to Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs

Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs is not a real thing btw yeah I can see you reaching for the search bar

You've locked me into a future of failure

@sexy-people-contests-2026

interview with the masquerade

vampire: the vampire

sweetiepie OFFICIAL meeting

reblogging a funny low note count textpost on your dash made by your mutual's mutual kinda feels like walking up to two strangers on the street and laughing loudly at their joke

I'm sorry for (remembers I'm not sorry) You're welcome for all the character posting last night

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

Gf thinks I’m weak

my shrine maiden things im weak plus cause she hits me w rocks but i dont know if thats the same or different as a gf because i havent had one could be nice

^v^

can u stop doin that w yr mouth

^ー^

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

!!!!!!

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.