I'm not scared of commitment. I'm scared of giving my all to someone and ending up with nothing again.

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@lost-after-midnight
I'm not scared of commitment. I'm scared of giving my all to someone and ending up with nothing again.

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“Masakit palang magmahal nang totoo sa taong pansamantala lang ang tingin sa’yo.”
Why it is Always in Another Life
Maybe we were never meant to last. We were meant to meet just long enough to ruin every version of love that would come after. I keep thinking about that — how something so alive, could still fall apart like it was nothing. Maybe that’s what this life does to us. It gives, only to take away when we finally start to believe.
I still remember the way you looked at me, like the world finally made sense. And now, I walk through days that don’t feel real anymore. I laugh sometimes, I talk to people, I even pretend I’ve moved on. But every silence, every little pause between one breath and the next, I feel it — the absence of you. You are like a missing heartbeat that never comes back.
I used to think love meant holding on, but now I know it also means learning to live without. And God, this learning is cruel because no one teaches me how to live with memories, no one tells me how to stop missing someone who doesn’t come back.
People tell me everything happens for a reason. I want to ask them what reason could possibly justify loving someone with everything you have and losing them anyway. What reason could make sense of waking up every day and realizing the person you dreamed your whole life with now feels like a story you made up.
So I tell myself what everyone does when love doesn’t fit into this life — maybe in another one. Maybe somewhere the timing isn’t wrong, the universe doesn’t play cruel jokes. Maybe there’s a version of us where I don’t mess it up, where you don’t walk away, where we stay.
In that life, I imagine waking up beside you without the weight of goodbye pressing against my chest. I imagine laughter without fear, love without end dates. I imagine your hand still reaching for mine in crowded rooms. I imagine growing old with you, not just growing apart.
But this life… this one only gave me the beginning. It let me taste forever and then ripped it away. And I’m left here, trying to breathe through the pain, trying to forgive the sky for never being kind to us.
Sometimes I close my eyes and say your name like a prayer that no longer works. Sometimes I still dream of you, and in that dream, you smile like you used to, and everything feels okay again. But morning always comes — and with it, the truth. The truth that we loved each other in a life that wasn’t ready for us.
So yes, maybe in another life, we make it. Maybe there, love doesn’t hurt and we finally stay. But here, I carry you like a wound that never heals — always bleeding somewhere inside me.
"Hindi lahat ng 'nandiyan lang' ay mananatili. Minsan, nandiyan lang sila para sanayin kang nariyan sila, tapos biglang mawawala."
Late Greetings
Happy New Year 2026
@dakilanggerlpren
@mxcxgxm
@hypocrisssy
@star-catcheer
@chescarriffic
@masakate
@jillaxkalangg
@kamirudeboy
@pinaasang-umasa
@theonlymice
@buhaybabae
@herpurplesoul
@hxbromqnia
Have a wonderful this year and God bless you always

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"Everything has it's own time"
Mahal ko
Sumusulat ako dahil kailangan kong gawin ito, hindi para magtanong kung paano ka, o para maghintay ng sagot. Sumusulat ako para sa sarili ko, para tuluyan nang isara ang pinto na matagal ko nang binabantayan, umaasa na babalik ka.
Matagal-tagal na rin akong namuhay sa 'paano kung' at 'baka sakali'. Matagal-tagal na rin akong kumakapit sa anino ng ikaw at ako noong mga panahong mahal mo pa ako. Alam kong masakit ang mawalan, pero mas masakit pala ang umaasa sa taong matagal nang wala na ang pag-ibig sa iyo. Araw-araw, inaasahan kong babalik ang dating ikaw, ang dating tayo, kahit pa ang bawat kilos mo, bawat salita mo, at lalo na ang katahimikan mo ay nagsasabing hindi na talaga.
Napakalinaw ng katotohanan: Hindi mo na ako mahal.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit napakatagal bago ko ito lubos na matanggap. Siguro dahil ang pag-ibig ko sa iyo ay napakalalim, kaya't mas pinili ng puso ko ang magbulag-bulagan. Ngunit ngayon, kailangan ko nang maging tapat sa sarili ko. Hindi ko na hahayaang ang pag-asa sa iyo ang maging kulungan ko.
Oras na para bitiwan ka. Oras na para hayaan ang sarili kong maghilom. Oras na para ibalik ang pagmamahal na ibinigay ko sa iyo sa sarili ko. Alam kong hindi magiging madali, pero kailangan kong umalis sa lugar kung saan ako lang ang nagmamahal.
Hindi mo kailangang mag-alala pa o makonsensya. Tanggap ko na. Hinihiling ko lang na sa pag-alis ko, hayaan mo akong umalis nang tuluyan.
Salamat sa lahat ng aral, kahit masakit. Paalam sa pag-asa.
Lubos na Gumagalang,
Ako
"IKOT"
Sabi nila, ang mundo ay umiikot. Kaya siguro, lahat ng bagay ay may simula at may katapusan, pero hindi ibig sabihin ay hindi na babalik.
Kagaya nating dalawa. Umikot ang buhay natin, nagtagpo, nagkasama, at sa isang iglap, tila naghiwalay ng landas. Para tayong dalawang tao na sakay sa magkaibang ferris wheel. Parehong umaakyat, parehong bumababa, pero hindi na nagkasabay sa rurok.
Pero ang pag-ikot ay hindi paghinto. Patuloy ang paggalaw. At habang umiikot ako sa sarili kong mundo, hindi ko maiwasang itanong: Kailan kaya muling magtatagpo ang ikot ng kapalaran natin? Kailan kaya tayo muling ipaglalapit ng tadhana, kahit pa sa isang mabilis na sulyap lang?
Nakakapagod din pala ang pag-ikot sa iisang problema, o sa iisang alaala. Gusto ko nang umalis sa puntong iyon, maghanap ng bagong direksyon. Pero sadyang mapaglaro ang mundo. Sa tuwing sinusubukan kong lumayo, pakiramdam ko, lalo lang akong hinihila pabalik sa lugar kung saan tayo unang nagkakilala. Para akong bituin na umiikot sa isang kalawakan, at ikaw ang sentro ng aking orbit.
Sana, sa susunod na ikot ng buhay ko, hindi na ako maligaw. At sana, kung magkikita tayong muli, ang ikot ng ating istorya ay hindi na muling magtatapos sa paghihiwalay, kundi sa walang-hanggang pagsasama.
Kasi, kahit anong layo ng distansya, ang puso ko, para ring planeta—patuloy na umiikot, umaasa, at naghihintay lang sa liwanag mo.
"Hindi ako nagkulang, sadyang mas pinili mo lang ang taong magpaparamdam sa'yo na kulang ka."
You were never asking for too much. You were simply just asking the wrong person

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
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Blogger since 2013-2025 I'm gonna miss the old days here lalo na sa mga naging friends ko noon I think its time to say Goodbye matagal kong pinag-isipan ito pero sabi nga nila walang permanenteng bagay sa mundo. Thank you Tumblr for being my comfort zoned, safe space, safe haven and everything na kadramahan ko dito ko naramdaman na sa likod ng mga nararanasan ko sa buhat may nakaka-relate pala at hindi ako nag-iisa at dito mga tao hindi judgemental.
Now Signing Off
🙏🥰
Let Them Be Wrong About You
You have nothing to prove, it has never been your burden to make them understand.
Let them be wrong about you.
Let them hold onto their versions of you — their crooked stories, their clipped perceptions, their blurred snapshots of who you were on a day you barely made it out of bed.
Let them talk, let them laugh, let them assume.
You are not here to correct every rumor or reintroduce yourself to every person who never tried to know you in the first place.
There is peace in not defending yourself. A kind of stillness in letting the noise pass over you like wind brushing against your skin — present, but powerless. You are not required to turn yourself inside out just to prove that your heart beats gently, that your silence is not arrogance, that your distance is not disdain. You do not owe the world a version of yourself it finds easier to digest.
You are not a résumé. You are not a performance. You are not a collection of polished facts and likable traits meant to gain approval.
You are a human being. Flawed, changing, trying.
You are allowed to be misunderstood.
There are people who will only ever know a paragraph of your story and swear they’ve read the whole book.
Let them.
You are not for everyone. You were never supposed to be. Not every soul will understand the language of your wounds. Not every eye can see the soft strength it takes to rebuild yourself quietly. Not every heart knows how to love what it cannot label.
You are not small just because someone else could not see your depth. You are not cold just because someone expected warmth in a moment you had none to give. You are not wrong for outgrowing who you used to be, for walking away, for choosing peace instead of pleasing
Let them misunderstand the way you carry your softness. Let them question why you no longer show up to be dissected. Let them think you are unkind for setting boundaries, selfish for choosing solitude, difficult for protecting your peace. Let them be wrong about your healing, your silence, your softness that sometimes looks like distance.
You do not have to argue. You do not have to shrink. You do not have to become palatable.
Live. Keep going. Keep becoming.
They will see it one day — or they won’t.
Either way, it has never been your burden to make them understand.
He was your lesson, but you’ll always be his loss.
Some chapters hurt, but some endings heal.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Sometimes the words just don’t come out the way you want.