shame. thats the only emotion you give me. shame, for the rest of my years. shame, for every self-conscious moment of life. shame, for even thinking about loving you.
you're so cruel! you really, really are. I don't know myself, or anything, or anyone, anymore.
this is what you do? strip me of everything and do nothing about it? why does everyone love you? and why am i personally offended by you? you keep hurting me, and you keep saying its my "karma", even after i give you everything i have.
i think you hide behind your systems and rules because you're too introverted and insensitive and hopeless and heartless to face me.
how tiring, my love. how tiring to love you.
you're horrible. i don't know what i have done to have fallen into the trap of loving you. please get offended. i say this as a teenage girl with no notion of how to love and still choosing to love you despite it all. because no one can go wrong with loving you, right? right??
of course not. you make me cry so much. and there is not a shred of proof in this every-god-forsaken life of mine that you even care, or look at me, forget feeling bad. did you ever love me? how long do i have to contend with giving you the benefit of the doubt? don't you ever feel disgusting, forcing me to feel and live through the turmoil of not even knowing if my earnest love is returned? shame on you, you liar, i am trying so hard to fall out of love with you, imagine that! imagine being so unkind that someone has to actively peel themselves away from you- NO! being a god is not an excuse! have some shame,
god i don't even love myself, you cheap man. i hate you. you are horrid. i have cried the worst of my tears because of you. i hate you. i don't want anything to do with you- like i had much to do in the first place. hah! like you let me near you. horrendous. and after i completely trusted you, too. is this what your kind does? i don't want to trust anyone anymore ever. please, if you were ever here, leave. leave me alone. stop hurting me. i'm sorry if i make a mistake, giving myself to you. i don't know why i feel isolated and punished. no, i don't want myself back- i'm not letting you win, i'm bigger than that. i am simply on my knees, begging you to stop- or at least tell me what to stop, to ease this suffering- was it the endearment? did i get too attached? was there a limit? did i get too close to you, all up in your personal bubble? sorry. i'm sorry for loving you the only way i knew- know- how to.
i'll stop. no, really, i will this time.
hey, you never know. maybe i will find someone nice for me here after all. at least the heart breaks here will be real, the love will be real. i will see it, hear it, taste it, smell it. sense it, at the very least.
gods, i've learnt, like to stay in the sky.
okay, then. i'll see you when its my turn to fly. no one will be able to stop the overflow of rage that is going to drown your home when i arrive.
you shouldn't have left me alone. not you, too!
is wanting to be special to you such a crime?
all of my life is a consequence of loving you.
all of my life is watching the shitshow you've organised on your terms.
all of my life is swallowed up in your grand scheme of things.
vaporwave
gracieabrams
prguitarman
andulkaphoto
