a catalog of mini destructions

a greek chorus which just shouts “oh shit” at relevant intervals

being naked is not sexy. wearing a white 18th century shirt with poofy sleeves tucked into a pair of black high waisted trousers is sexy. there are no exceptions

im trying to be authentic and true to myself but she’s very elusive which is sexy but hard to work with

I don’t trust people who don’t like 80s pop music like what are you? straight? grow up

I hate when people call randomly… like if you’re not the love of my life or my mother, please text to schedule an appointment first.

some woman on the street below just hit an operatic high c and then screamed “i’ll fucking kick your ass”

I’m a sucker for Romantic stuff like summon up nature, melancholic thoughts and supernaturalism.

iam a dumb ass & an idiot & the sexiest person in target

the three universal truths: we live in a society, women be shopping, men get pegged

sometimes the stupid bitch in your life is you and thats all cool

i eat a lot of bread because it’s soft and i deserve it. also i am gorgeous

I genuinely, sincerely, hope that everyone knows when I say y’all it’s because I’m gay and not because I’m southern.

i think we need to stop focusing on telling little girls they need to be “empowered” & instead teach them about chaotic mirth, hijinks, & becoming complete rascals

And rapscallions, some of them might want to be rapscallions.