dracula teeth

why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth

I don’t know why don’t you ask the bread baking in my vagina.

i’m sorry for whatever i said that caused you to say what you just said

posting on this website feels like im dancing really enthusiastically but really poorly onstage in an auditorium filled with absolutely silent and expressionless people and there’s no music and the only sound is my shoes squeaking across the floor and my labored breathing

I’m going to get married on a Wednesday so I can be like ‘I got Wed on a Wed’

That’s fucking rad

Thanks man

Did you just compliment yourself?

This is a private conversation could you please give us some privacy

sorry