Staring at the wall...

1.8 stars????? I didn't think that was possible. I clicked on it and-

IT'S EVEN FUCKING LOWER THAN THAT IF YOU DON'T COUNT THE OBVIOUSLY PAID-FOR 10S. Like even the other two recent disasters are higher than that!

This is where it occured to me to check something and-

IT'S RATED SIGNIFICANTLY LOWER THAN A MOVIE MADE PURPOSEFULLY TO BE AS GROSS AND HORRIBLE AS POSSIBLE. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT??????

IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THE SEQUEL OF A SEQUEL OF A HORROR MOVIE MADE EXCLUSIVELY BECAUSE TOM CARDY MADE A SONG ABOUT IT.

BEHOLD! The movies that managed to get a worse rating than Snow White!

Pledge this!

I actually saw this one when I was, uh, probably way too young for it. It's about Paris Hilton being a sadistic tyrant of some posh university and it includes charming scenes of her making aspiring college students eat leftover sushi from dog bowls and spraying whipped cream on her boyfriend's dick to make her dog give him a blowjob. Definitely worse than Snow White, right?

Well-

Enough people thought it was at least ironically funny to give it a 3.7 mean so it's, technically, NOT worse than Snow White. I guess Paris Hilton is at least hot.

Next, we have:

A very promising title! Apparently it's a sequel of a Turkish film 'The Man Who Saved the World', (which in itself is apparently 'Turkish Star Wars') and which one reviewer called 'mindbogglingly awful'. Hold on, let me show you the funniest part of one review:

This movie is so bad it interferes with one's inner peace! Surely not even Snow White is THAT bad.

Except-

To be fair, Turks in Space is a sequel of a problematic cult favorite, so it still manages to have some fans. My condolences to the person whose inner peace was disturbed, I hope you moved to a Tibetan monastery in 2019 and haven't had internet acess since. Hell, 2024 would be be better than seeing this.

Okay, by now iMDb algorhythm or whatever it is has figured out what I want and grudgingly started offering me its worst rated movies. Unfortunately...

It turns out it's REALLY FUCKING HARD to make a movie that is so universally unappealing. Even the worst movies so far have at least a dozen people who gave it a pity rating and a few maniacs who think it's unintentionally the best thing ever. Finding something below 1.8 is actually pretty hard!

But I prevailed and found this!

It's a very bad german vanity film about... I don't know, some guy who won a talent show once? The reviews speak for themselves:

'Cultural equivalent of stoning the viewer to death'. Wow. Have we finally found the most universally hated movie of all-

NOPE! Turns out even camcorder vanity projects have their fans. And mind you, this movie at least didn't cost 250 million to make! Considering how cheap it looks and that some people went to war with the German Amazon to track it down, I think it actually made more money than it cost anyway.

We have...

Literally just a collection of Charli D'Amelio's videos. I have to admit I had to google who the fuck that was.

But she still isn't what we're looking for. She does get an honorable mention because it's on her page that I found THIS.

People wiser than me have already realised what this is, but alas. I am an idiot. The 'ape' part should have tipped me off, but in my defense, seeing only half of that monkey's head was probably on purpose because you realize it instantly once you see it.

I had to open my computer, open youtube in a private window and then carefully copy it over here without opening it because I don't want Youtube algorhythm to catch so much as a whiff of it. But yes. It's exactly what it says on the tin.

HOWEVER.