🕊

once again I'm really struggling with this transition from uni to being on break. The complete lack of routine is so difficult for me. I dont have classes again until mid october which is such a crazy long time. I do have some essays to write and i tried really hard to make plans and I'm going to volunteer at the literature festival and i do still have my volunteer position at uni so i have some things to do for that but there's no routine of classes, nothing to really structure my day. So ive been sleeping until 1pm and i feel tired and weird all the time and a bit depressed.

dont know if you guys heard but at the christopher street day parade yesterday in berlin someone drove a car into a crowd and then stabbed people. One person died and 29 were injured. I feel absolutely devastated. No one i know personally was there but it feels extremely surreal. S and i went to a mourning event earlier today and thousands of people came

at least ive had a lot to read rn, i read Effi Briest by theodor fontane, I'm halfway thru the odyssey (the emily wilson translation which i actually had bought in 2018 when it came out but then never actually read), i read the long walk by stephen king and the employees by olga ravn and now I'm also rereading the second Silo trilogy book. I also got the dream thieves from libby which I'm excited about and i also definitely want to reread his dark materials this summer. I think mostly tv shows bore me right now and since S and I cant afford more than one subscription we are stuck with appletv for another month at least since it just renewed and ive seen everything interesting so reading it is.

my hero this week is the woman working at the exam office of my faculty bc not only did she reply to my email promptly and therefore alleviated a lot of stress but she also wished me to get well soon and she included the time frame in which i should sign up to take the exam in october so i wouldnt forget.

still sick...i have to be okay again tomorrow for the dyke march :-(( and then pride weekend :-((((((( I'm so sad

everything went fine with the doctors note, except i had to pay 10 whole euros for it which is insane. And then on top of that i had to take an uber there and back bc with public transport its still a 16 minute walk and if i was capable of that, i wouldnt need a doctors note to begin with. So it was basically 25 € in total. Ughhhhhhhh

no miracle for me....getting a doctor's note tomorrow and will take the exam in october :-( i know rationally that it doesnt matter but i feel so frustrated

I dont think i can take my exam unless there's a miracle. What sucks the most is not even just the exam but that ill have to drag myself to the doctor on wednesday for a doctors note

i cant sleep bc i cant breathe through my nose ughhhhhhhhhhh i really hope this is the worst of it tho

I'm DONE being sick. Thanks. No more. I really really want to take my exam on wednesday, otherwise i have to wait until october to take it and i dont want that. It wouldn't be the end of the world but it would suck. Also i just dont want to feel so shitty anymore ugh. But i remain hopeful bc it has been really intense and I'm already having a nasty cold where i cant breathe thru my nose anymore and that usually is a sign for me that its about to be over

I'm scrolling thru my likes now that you can see the oldest ones first and i just had a flashback to this lesbian sex ed blog that kept telling all these poor little baby lesbians to use fucking gloves during sex in addition to dental dams to make sure you definitely definitely dont get an std jesus

I'm soooo ill, i dont even know whats going on. I was totally fine until yesterday and now i feel so incredibly sick that i can barely get up or even sit up for long. Trying not to worry about my exam on wednesday. Ive definitely studied enough to just take it without further studying but i have to not be sick obviously. But i feel like since i already feel soooo sick it might pass a bit quicker and wednesday is still far away

when people talk about how they talk with an ai like chat gpt or whatever to like organize their thoughts or god knows what, it honestly feels like some sort of mass psychosis to me. I wish people would know and understand that an ai doesnt know anything and its not talking. It's putting words together based on statistics. It doesnt know what youve just said. It cannot read a text you wrote. It cant see a picture you've sent. Any feedback it gives you, any advice, any comfort is just words that are most statistically likely to follow each other.