Chilly wind

I've literally seen footage

2026 roommate: The dishwasher's loaded. 1926 roommate, having a black coffee, a cigarette, a shot of whiskey, two uppers and a downer for breakfast: Then what the fuck's he washing dishes for?

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

#ow

#stuck

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln

hi Henry!

I’ve never seen the second photo before.

I cant come to your birthday there's a big ass skullll flying araound

Just saw two people hugging and was like … ew that’s disgusting . And now I’m looking at photos of cemeteries in China as a wave of serenity washes over me

In retrospect, consider the number 1 thing every grade-schooler knows about plants is they take in light, the idea they might be able to see should not wreck my shit as hard as it does

amazing!!! pls make more