My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because itβs old and America is spooky because itβs big
βThe difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.β βEarle Hitchner
A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out becauseΒ βsomeone died in this houseβ and all the europeans would goΒ ββ¦Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.β
ββ¦My school is older than your entire town.β
βSorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?β
*American looks up at the beams in a country pub*Β βUh, this place has woodworm, isnβt that a bit unsafe?βΒ βEh, the woodwormβs 400 years old, itβs holding those beams together.β
A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.Β We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I canβt remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldnβt be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.Β Weβre headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.
βAll right, itβs going to be a long bus ride, so make sure youβre prepared for that.β
We all brace ourselves.Β A long bus ride?Β How long?Β Weβre Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.Β We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.
The answer.Β Β βTwo hours.β
Oh.
English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing
I live in Paris. An hour long trip to anywhere is a fucking journey.
I DONβT live in Paris, and well, when you live in the middle of nowhere, an hour is suddenly not that long.
A good point Iβve seen on this post before is that in Europe βsomeone died hereβ means that generations of a family died peacefully on their beds but in America when we say βsomeone died hereβ we mean that a satanist on meth tortured his mother and a bunch of orphans to death
