Golden light washed over the hillside. The fields seemed to drink in the last rays of amber light, and stalks of grass swayed in the warm breath of summer. The magic of twilight was upon us. Off in the distance, over the saw-toothed horizon, the moon hung heavy and full eager to start her journey across the sky. Seeing the moon and sun in the same sky always seemed most primordial. As if time were both beginning and ending all at once.
That’s what my Esther would say.
Esther was always thinking the most bewitching thoughts. Rare for a girl of 19, I would say, to show so much interest in the magic of the world around her. Even today, on the picnic blanket we had brought with us, she had been gazing thoughtfully at the beady black ants as they plundered our basket.
As I gaze upon her now in the last rays of an August sunset, I can scarcely remember a time when I loved Esther more. She wore a daisy crown, made fresh that afternoon, amid her many auburn curls. The crisp white petals stained pink by the setting sun. Her deep green eyes looked out at me from beneath thick lashes. Eyes the color of pine. It had come to be my favorite shade. I did not meet her gaze. I am not worthy of her beauty. All the same, I love her.
The pleats of her dress fall perfectly around her pretty frame. Neat, deep folds of rich blue silk, trimmed in the finest lace and ribbon. It had taken weeks to sew, I knew. Each day I would hear a half a dozen yelps as she stuck herself with the needle.
Lace the color of clouds.
Only an angel could wear that dress.
My true angel, she was. She had been. Already a sad memory, thought it has not yet hardly passed.
Three weeks ago I had gone to the city. Away from these amber-soaked fields and mountain valleys. I sought my own piece of magic. Something I knew she could not resist. A ring. Gold, and diamonds, and emerald. Deep green, to match her balsam eyes. I was going to make her my angel forever.
The wind picked up, and carried with it the scent of a storm. I was grateful for the weather, for it echoed my feelings. I still had signs of my own private storm clung to my lashes, blurring my vision.
She had looked so pretty. It was no wonder I hadn’t been able to wait any longer. The ring that I had carried for weeks had found itself into my hands, and my hands had held hers. My knees had given way, and I had asked for her hand in marriage.
Not, perhaps, a cruel laugh. But a laugh all the same. It was a laugh of pity. which was cruel enough in itself. The ring was not magic enough. How could I have thought that a ring alone would win my bride? How could I expect her to be my angel when I, myself was so full of sin?
I looked upon her now, through my wet lashes, and realized that I had indeed made Esther my angel after all.
Lace the color of clouds.
I realized that I had been standing over my beloved for quite some time. The blood which had once been so hot and fresh on my lips had now begun to dry. How had it all gone so wrong? My hand which had so lovingly held a ring had so quickly grabbed a knife.
Where had the ring gone? In my blind rage it had fallen to the dirt, no doubt. I found myself wondering if those pirate ants had any interest in such treasures. Would they carry it away as if it were some sugared treat?
No, it was there. In a pleat of Esther’s skirt, the catalyst to her death sparked up at me with what little light remained in the sky. It shone from that dark red stain like a star in a dying sky.
If she would not wear the ring in life, let her wear it in death. She is already my angel, though she knows it not. Let this final act seal the dark pact. May her everlasting soul know my love, even if her earthly frame would not.
My last act, in this amber field on this August night, is to set my beloved Esther to rest.
There on the hilltop you will find her. Wrapped lovingly in the picnic blanket on which we shared our last meal. Wearing a crown of daisies upon her head, though surely wilted and grey. Upon her hand is the ring that was not quite enough magic to make her my bride.
But it made her my angel.
Buried beneath the earth.
