Faith

A late night out,

friends all around me,

and there you are.

It starts with a look,

you glance my way.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

I act like I don’t notice

because it’s a game.

Can you catch me?

Or will I escape?

Glances turn to steps.

Closer.

Closer.

Only a few inches away.

“I want you.”

But I don’t want you,

I don’t want the pain.

So I down my drink,

one gulp and it’s gone.

Bang.

Knocking on my door.

It’s you again.

Hoping I will let you in,

begging me to stop fighting,

pleading your case.

Fine.

Okay.

Whatever.

I finally give up,

you slither inside

and I know now,

that you’re staying.

With no plans to leave.

Please…

Please.

Please!

Get out of my head.

Leave me alone.

You aren’t welcome anymore.

I need to get rid of you.

How do I kick you out?

“I’m tired.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“Just fucking go already!”

The pounding you made

is finally gone, and

everything is quiet.

I am finally rid of you,

It’s been a long day

and the words

are calling out to me.

My favorite book,

it yells my name

and I rush home to answer.

There it is.

Sitting on my bed,

waiting for me.

My favorite book.

The number of times

I have picked it it up

only to smell the pages.

Savoring the scent of

old books drifting

up to me.

My favorite book.

The words fill my head

without even opening the cover.

The now yellow pages,

once a bright white.

The spine is no longer flat,

creased time and time again.

It slowly overruns my thoughts,

even when I’m sleeping.

The words I used to adore

come back to haunt me.

“I’m different.”

A line I believed from the start.

One I trusted.

And you were.

You were special.

“I can handle it.”

But you couldn’t.

I warned you it wouldn’t be easy.

You didn’t believe me.

“I won’t leave.”

Another line.

Again, I believed you.

“Together forever.”

Forever didn’t last long.

My favorite book?

Isn’t even a book.