Fire cannot kill a dragon

there’s a t-shirt that says “I survived a bad day and all I got was the rest of my life” and yeah I still think about it

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

forgor

(In the cuck chair)(starts booing)

(Wife looks over)(I do a roman emperor thumbs down)(she executes the other guy)

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask