Ok, this scene really gets to me and invokes my feels. Here’s why-
At the end of the first Thor movie, Loki let go of the Gungnir because he didn’t want to live anymore, not after how the events unfolded for him. His whole sense of identity, his self, his world, everything had been shattered. After Odin’s last rejection, he had reached the conclusion that his life wasn’t worth living. He thought that the void would shatter and consume him, that he would cease to exist. That’s exactly what he wished in that moment, it’s very clearly visible on his face. His face clears of all emotion just before he lets go, it’s him letting go of life, and hopefully, of all his pain. It’s his last effort calm the chaos in his mind and hopefully get some peace. [Excellent acting by Tom Hiddleston, I cannot state this enough]
Now, we all know that Loki didn’t get killed. Instead, when we see him a year or so later, and he looks like a completely different person. Many allusions have been made in the Avengers to the possibility of torture and coercion, and perhaps even mental manipulation via the Scepter. I will leave that point be for now. What I will focus on is the fact that Loki is so reckless. He get’s captured on purpose, knowing full well that he may be tortured for information. He is not bothered about that possibility. Why? For one, he may have suffered through the worst, so nothing that the mortals can shell out will bother him in the least. Fury did suggest torture to Thor. So, Loki deliberately put himself in danger, only to see how strong the Avengers were, and if he could trigger their ire easily. He could have easily eliminated them one by one, taken them out from a distance, opened the portal in the middle of nowhere, etc. But he didn’t do that, he made it a point to make it personal for each of the Avengers. The result: they fought him together as a united team because they all united in their anger against Loki.
Then, nearing the end of the Avengers, Loki deliberately delivers a derisive speech to the Hulk. The freaking Hulk! Who in their right mind provokes the Hulk? Could it be that Loki’s self harming tendencies were still present then? I say yes. He was either hoping to break whatever hold Thanos had on him through the Other, or he knew that he was about to lose, so he chose to pull himself out of active battle, perhaps as an excuse to Thanos. Or he could still be wanting to off himself. After all, what does he have to look forward to? Some sort of gruesome punishment, obviously.
Now cut to this scene from Thor: TDW. He looks so done here. Odin tells him that his birthright was to die, which is possibly the worst thing you could say to a person who had attempted kill himself the last time you saw him. Odin is essentially disowning Loki here and washing his hands off him. Loki was of no use to him now, and Odin simply wanted to bury the nuisance. Loki knows this as well, and it’s why he challenges Odin to simply kill him. He has had enough. Now, traditionally, a trickster and a manipulator should try to seek clemency, to bid his time so that he can get away at the right time. But Loki is saying all the things to Odin which he knows will anger him and will probably make his sentence worse. It’s because he is not seeking clemency or a way out. He is simply seeking an end. He has nothing to lose, so he wants to say what is on his mind, no manipulation. It’s why he is so brash and outspoken. He is 100% done and knows that there is no going back. The only mercy he seeks now is that his painful existence may be ended. He even looks hopeful and desperate for it here.
That is what is so heartbreaking here. He could have said he was sorry, that he was ready to make amends, etc, whatever got him an easier sentence. No, he instead chose to be as offensive as he could manage. Why? He wanted the axe to swing. He wanted it all to end.
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