They give him a coat with his assumed name, and he buries everything that's left of "Ayin" somewhere safe, because if the Company is going to take advantage of him, then he's going to use them right back.

I've never turned that post into a full fic, but the ideas keep haunting the narrative for me. EDIT: It's now on AO3!

various hokma/netzach stuff

That is a possibility. Especially once they realise what they were saying and doing to him, in clear minds.

Just as much, though... I kind of think of it as "do not anger a kind man."

Because Ayin - in spite of the atrocities performed in his name, whether it was him who wrote them into the script or Carmen - was kind. The Sephirot are emanations of a whole, and each one of them shows a fragment of what that whole self should be. If Roland, Angela, and Dante are all the kind of people who try to help others even if they're not especially good at it... then as a fellow Keter, that's also an Ayin trait.

So, someone who is kind and who gets attached to people and who only detaches himself because caring hurts (which, is exactly why Roland fell so hard on Angelica's "that's that and this is this," why Angela tried so hard for the Sephirot and agents at the start of the loops and even at the end saved them in her own way)... when that kind of person sees something threatening the ones they love, who they care about-

Yeah, I can see him coming down hard on whatever made that threat.

I think of the way he treated Garion, to the point that she saw herself in him. I think of how Gebura's worst aspects are possibly meant to say "this is what you have to avoid in yourself" to Ayin. I think of how Michelle must have assumed he was angry with her (and perhaps part of him was, but I think the sadness and grief was greater).

I think of how that ruthlessness can show itself in other ways, such as how Dante genuinely thought of leaving Hindley behind to die - they themself wouldn't have killed him directly, but indirectly, yes, they would have. I think of the way they reacted to Alonso - being quiet, and then exploding quietly with "Screw yourself."

I think of the (many and varied, actually) times when Dante has prefaced a fight with "obliterate them" or some variant.

And yet, we don't... really see Ayin or Dante ever really lashing out at the Sephirot or Sinners. There's some snide asides in their own minds, or things they say in passing that don't really get picked up on, but that's it. In fact, in Dante's case it's more likely that the Sinners would speak out for them!

Angela is blunt and caustic in speaking her mind but doesn't really get angry at the Librarians themselves, only when they reference Ayin.

In Roland's case he bottles everything up right to the end, actually. All of the things he experienced, all the warnings he tried to give Angela, he pushes it all down until it all explodes out - which, I think is the closest to what actually happened with Ayin?

Like, literally.

The thing is, he doesn't explode at the Sephirot. He holds it in and bottles it up and lets it all fester inside until it's time for the Keter Core Suppressions because that IS him exploding with the injustice of it all. Sure that's "Yesod" and "Malkuth" and "Netzach" and "Gebura" and "Hokma" and they even have "an Arbiter" and "the Red Mist" come back but... the voice he's hearing is effectively his own.

Instead of it being them saying all of these things and lashing out against him, he's finally allowing himself to explode by going why can't you all of have understood how I feel? Why did it have to be me? Do you know that I remember their names even though they aren't even their names? I get attached, even with the filter? Do you care that I try so hard in here? I have no idea what I'm doing this all for at this point, does anyone? Sometimes I just want to give up. I want to rage and tear this whole thing down because I don't know why I built it in the first place. I try and save as many people as I can but in the end all this place is good for is suffering, and it's just going to keep going with a new me no matter how hard I try. And what's worst, is that a part of me doesn't even care and kind of wants to stay in here at this point.

Thing is, he's got to face all of that. Just because he could tell them that their thinking was wrong doesn't mean it's any easier to face when he knows he's talking to himself. And the selves are literally paths he could take, with his face and his voice.

Elijah - the name of one of the Prophets of the Bible, and famously one of the only ones who ever ascended to Heaven alive. Funnily enough, Elijah is referenced in Orlando Furioso (the English knight Astolfo flies up to the moon in Elijah's flaming chariot) and Moby Dick (appearing as a character warning Ishmael and Queequeg away from the Peqod).

Gabriel - the name of the Archangel Gabriel. As per wikipedia he "is an archangel with the power to announce God's will to humankind as the messenger of God." He appears in the Books of Daniel and Enoch, and is thought to have been one of the guardian angels of the Israelites along with Michael. Gabriel is associated with communication in Islam.

According to the Four Homilies of the Missus Est by St. Bernard, "Therefore it was an opportune choice that designated Gabriel for the work he had to accomplish, or rather, because he was to accomplish it therefore he was called Gabriel." - this fits with how each of the Sephirot in the game are named for their own roles.

Michelle - feminine form of "Michael," referring to the Archangel of that same name, a warrior and protector rather than messenger. Fought the Prince of Persia (a territorial demon/being that protected a different people). Acts as commander of the Heavenly armies and acts as intermediary between God and humanity.

One could suppose that the angel acting as an intermediary is referenced by Michelle being the one to (ironically) report the lab's doings to the Head.

Giovanni - Itialian form of "John," author of the Book or Gospel of John in the New testament. Wikipedia gives two alternate readings of the name - Greek, and the Latin, "Ioannes," which is closer to the modern Giovanni. His is the gospel that refers multiple times to "the disciple whom Jesus loved" as well as John being the only one of the apostles thought to have died of natural causes.

Enoch - refers to both the Prophet and the Book of Enoch. The Book of Enoch refers to such things as "the origins of demons and Nephilim, why some angels fell from heaven, an explanation of why the Genesis flood was morally necessary, and a prophetic exposition of the thousand-year reign of the Messiah." All of those things correlate to Enoch's own far-sightedness, as well as theories that he is connected to Demian. Enoch, like Elijah, is one of the few suggested to have been taken to Heaven alive (although this is due to wording that can be differently interpreted).

From wikipedia: "Enoch was instrumental in establishing the pre-eminent place of Michael among the angels and archangels, and in later Jewish works, he is said to be their chief, mediating the Torah (the Law of God), and standing at the right hand of the throne of God."

Lisa - shortened form of Elizabeth, which is an anglicised version of the Hebrew name Elisheva, meaning "God is my Oath." "Elizabeth" appears both in the Old Testament (Aaron's wife) and the new testament (the mother of John the Baptist).

Kali - breaks the pattern by being the major goddess Kalika of death, destruction, and time. Perhaps one of the reasons why her name was chosen above others is this: "Kali is also connected with transcendental knowledge and is the first of the ten Mahavidyas, goddesses who provide liberating knowledge" - which has similarities to the ten Sephirot who provide knowledge and understanding of both God and the Self.

Daniel - his name means "God is my Judge" and he is described as being an exile living in Babylon, however he was also of noble birth. The Book of Daniel covers the Jewish people living in Babylon under its kings as a diaspora. He prayed for mercy and lenience of punishment on the king he was serving.

Garion - N/A. The only sources for Garion's name that I can find are "Belgarion" of the Belgariad by David and Leigh Eddings, and "Garion," a South Korean hip-hop band. Any of which could plausibly have been inspirations for KJH.

Benjamin - famously the youngest of Jacob and Rachel's sons, he stayed with his parents while his brothers were plotting against Joseph (yes, the one with the many-coloured coat). His name means "Son of the Right" however another reading by the Samaritan Pentateuch is "Son of Days." One of the important parts of his story is that Joseph, while not recognised by any of his other brothers, reveals himself to Benjamin in trust.

Carmen - name originates from the Hebrew "Karmel" meaning "Vineyard of God," which is also the name of a mountain range. The other origin of her name is Latin, with the same spelling, means "Song," and is the root form of the word "charm."

Carmenta was also a Roman Goddess, of "childbirth and prophecy, associated with technological innovation, specifically, the invention or adaptation of the Latin alphabet as well as the protection of mothers and children and a patron of midwives."

In modern times, her name is also associated with the Italian Opera by the same name, in which the titular Carmen seduces the "naive" Don Jose, who abandons his childhood sweetheart and abandons military duties for her. After this, however, she falls for someone else and Jose kills her in a fit of rage.

Ayin - the sixteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet which can have the meaning of "eye," but also has the larger meaning of "Nothingness" in the context of the Kabbalah, which is what the Sephirot are named for. "According to kabbalistic teachings, before the universe was created there was only Ayin, the first manifest Sephirah (Divine emanation)."

Ayin is closely associated with the term "Ein/Ayin Soph" meaning "without end" as well as "infinite" and "unending." Likewise, "Ohr Ein Sof" means "infinite Light" - this should be recognisable to Limbus players due to how all Identity cards have a 0 [Ohr Ayin Soph/Endless Light], 00 [Ayin Soph/Limitless], or 000 [Ayin/Nothing] on them.

The term "Yesh-me-Ayin" is also connected to the Kabbalah, meaning "Something from Nothing" which originated in the 16th century. Other readings/interpretations of this could be "He made that which wasn't into that which is", or "He turned His nothingness into something."

-

All quoted text and referenced material comes from Wikipedia or (in certain cases) quick internet searches.

Happy memories in another life, passing by like a gentle melody

Have a Chesed

Sorry Carmen and the Tiphereth are out of order, I'm on my phone instead of my tablet since the wifi has been a bitch (storms) and Tumblr on my phone is also a bitch sometimes so

Also sorry if anything is blurry/bad looking I was running out of steam by the time I hit Yesod

@alonely-owl says she's going to, i myself don't (i don't take part in artfights at all sorry).

I've got john!

Make sure you fill out my hitlist to get a revenge, I've been asking for pose references and it has helped with the choice paralysis

silly little au of What if Giovanni Was a Color Fixer aka the worst fucking circumstances to put him in bc i want him to suffer idk