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The Bowery Presents

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Xuebing Du
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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins

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Sade Olutola
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni

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@littleredchevy

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unalive sucks cause it was like made to be a censor. but describing killing as "kirking" is just genuinely funny
regardless of the discourse that award show was not live so i have no idea why they kept that part of that guy yelling the n word at a bunch of black ppl like idgaf about the disability thing why did they keep that in if it was not live, these same companies r quick to censor and cut the mics and remove clips of ppl tryna talk about ice or Palestine so i dont understand y that was kept in other than to humiliate black peopleβ¦..
Got into a discussion about emergency response at a professional retreat recently and everyone was going on and on about agility, and I was like, "Okay but what about contingency?"
And they were like "What?"
And I was like, "Agility isn't the ultimate form of preparedness. Contingency is. Agility still requires you to flounder and figure out a solution in the moment, but if you have a contingency plan, all you have to do is implement it."
And they were like "But you can't make contingency plans for every situation!"
And I was like, "Yeah, you basically can if you just identify all of your basic dependencies and contingency plan around the loss of any dependency," and then I gave a few examples.
And they all stared at me like I'm an alien.
Anyway, that's how I figured out I'm Batman-coded and also learned how Batman must feel talking to supposedly professional superheroes who never bothered to run disaster scenarios until I pointed out that it's insane that they don't already have a plan for if Superman turns evil.
Thereβs a phrase that really stuck in my head around this. It was from one of the British divers who enacted the Thai caving rescue, though I couldnβt tell you which one or which interview.
As he described to the interviewer a moment of panic and how he he overcame, the interviewer said, in one of those, summarise-last-answer-given-with-appropriate-levels-of-respect-in-order-to-proceed-to-next-question phrasingβs, βWow, so you rose to the occasion -β
And the diver said, βNo, actually people always get that exactly wrong. In an unexpected and urgent situation you donβt rise to the occasion. You sink to the level of your training.β
Mikhail Shaidorov (KAZ): Kung Fu Panda | 2026 Milano Cortina Olympics, EX
"He's Mikhail Shaidorov. He's the Olympic champion, and he loves pandasβit's there in black and white!"
(Bonus: Jackie Chan presenting two pandas to Misha at the end of the program)

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NYT crossword getting a bit personal here
having an emotional support shitty phone game is actually really good for you
man with tourettes says n word three times at the baftas in front of two Black people on stage... Everyone is... Angry at Black people?? For not wanting to be called slurs, even inadvertently? I promise a simple apology would fix this lmfao
what's very interesting is seeing people who have never cared about disability before all of a sudden becoming the ADA for The Right to Not Apologize for Calling Black People slurs

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(to the tune of valjeanβs soliloquy) what have i done / sweet jesus what have i done / become a pink pony girl / and now i dance at the club
(to the tune of pink pony club) g-d what have you done / become a thief in the night / and a dog on the run oh mama
Vampire girl: Look, if you don't have the capacity I'm not going to drain from you.
People-pleaser girl who has let four other vampires drain her in the last two days and refuses to open up to any of them about how many vampires she's seeing: no no i'm fine i'm good go ahead
None of the vampires are okay with this btw it's very distressing for them when she passes out from what's supposed to be a safe drain and needs immediate medical attention, makes them feel worse about the vampirism than they already did
Itβs easy to go "how sweet" and "so innocent and fragile" about this behavior until you've caught your mortal partner whittling a stake crying and hyperventilating from manic terror. Most vampire girls know someone who was staked by for crossing a line that was never communicated.

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