A Good Banana Can’t Be Kept Down

When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.

But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.

Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're theyre your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.

Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.

I’ve now responded about 100x that when I panic blurted excuses in my younger days “I’m gay” worked slightly better than other responses. So enough with “men just get worse”. I’m sure some do. That wasn’t my personal experience 15 years ago. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s changed and gendie shit has made men bolder. Acting like I’m a delusional moron for having a different experience is beyond shitty.

I’m not an “out” bisexual. I’m only out in my real life to two people. Surprise! Tumblr isn’t real life!

I guarantee I have more LGB friends than you do and that the lesbians I know aren’t super political and would say they don’t GAF and that would be to a woman they believe to be hetero. I didn’t ask them because for some reason I thought the opinion of more politically minded ‘feminists’ would be valuable. Never again.

When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.

But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.

Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're theyre your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.

Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.

When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.

But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.

When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.

But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.

When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.

But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.

Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're theyre your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.

Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.

When I finish school I will be entering a majority male field and I’m considering telling male coworkers that pry or hit on me that I’m a lesbian because I’m hoping it will dissuade them from hitting on me further or nip interest in the bud.

But I’m bisexual and I don’t know if that’s shitty. These aren’t guys that are going to be my friends or family, who might see my interest in men and incorrectly assume there is no such thing as exclusive lesbian attraction, BUT I’m not willing to make that call myself. If a whole bunch of you are like “please don’t do that” I won’t. You don’t even have to give me a reason. It’s enough that you don’t want me to. Maybe I should stick to “I don’t date men”? Which is true if a kind of lie of omission maybe? I just don’t want some 56 year old dude hitting on me when he finds out I’m not married.

Honestly though, would you even consider doing this with any other minority group? Would claim to be disabled to get out of a task at work for example? Like, I can't see how you thought it would be at all appropriate to claim a label that your opposite sex attraction negates. Especially since you can very obviously see one of the detrimental effects on lesbians that this claim could have. Whether you're their your friends or not you do not exist in a bubble and your opposite sex attraction is observable to anyone who sees you in public. Regardless, you're lying about being a minority you are not. Anything you say while claiming to be a lesbian represents us an inaccurate light.

Just say that you don't date men. If they're not going to respect your no they won't respect it regardless of if it's an innate no or a choice of yours. Your position on this kind of insinuates that you think lesbians aren't sexually harassed by men or that men even respect lesbians lack of attraction to them. We live in a misogynistic and a homophobic society, of course they don't.

I never for one second thought or said lesbians don’t get sexually harassed or hit on by men wtf? Why would you think that, especially after all my previous responses to this have all been “yeah you’re probably right I won’t do it”. The reason it even crossed my mind is because in my younger days when I had to fend off a lot of aggressive men in my sales job, they did respond best to “I’m gay”. Obviously some persisted but most made shitty remarks like “damn what a waste” and walked away. I’ll grant you that was 15 years ago and I think men have gotten worse not better but that’s why I asked. Not because I think it’s a magic spell. At the time it didn’t occur to me it could harm lesbians. Now I ask and happily accepted the fact most people have said “please don’t”. There is zero reason for you to be so nasty about it and make a bunch of assumptions about me.

the thing is, one of the main motivations for hawke and carver (or hawke and bethany but mage hawke's case gets more hilarious in the following acts) to join the deep roads expedition is to escape the templars. they aren't planning to move in the deep roads until meredith resigns or something, they need to get money to escape the templars. to bribe them. and this is actually what happens in act 2! hawke is rich af and nobody bats an eye there is a mage living in hightown and breaking chantry laws whenever they want! they can approach cullen to show him alrik's documents and he immediately suspects they're the one who killed alrik but then proceeds to do nothing. they can spit in elthina's face by calling her useless and still. she does nothing.

it gets better and better in act 3. hawke is a champion and them being a mage is practically a common knowledge. and not just a mage, but a very skilled and dangerous one. also their friends are a possessed apostate and a dalish blood mage. these three are literally the type of people templars are obligated to capture asap. it's like, red alert levels of danger. yeah, meredith can blackmail hawke if they try to turn her down, but she still let them walk freely while they do some favors for her. she acknowledges this. she sees hawke as a threat, but won't touch them as long as they're useful. oh, but where did the "we must protect the city from mages! we must protect the mages from themselves!" bravado go?

templars won't lay a finger on hawke because everyone in the city, the nobles as well, will be mad if someone threatens their favourite friendly amell neighbour and then their champion. if someone threatens champion's friends the champion will be mad too.

kirkwall templars have a reputation of being strict and distrustful but capable, when in fact they beat frightened kids up and make them tranquil for exchanging love letters but if someone who can actually fight back shows up they will shit their pants. even the most dangerous and self-righteous ones.

does meredith believe that she is doing the right thing? I guess so. will she make an exception for extremely powerful uncontrolled mages because otherwise they will endanger her position and become an obstacle to her seizure of power? oh sure she will.

Hijab/burqa don’t loudly announce the details of your sex life to unwilling strangers

You ever heard of chokers?

If you want to be included in the male camaraderie around you, that's feminine. Wanting to laugh along with the guys is feminine behavior. If you try to impress a man with your knowledge of cars and football, you're being feminine. If you're waiting for a man to compliment your outfit and say "great suit" you're being extremely feminine. If you have male mentors that you admire, that's peak femininity.

If you only want to date women that will make men envy you, you're the worst kind of pickme.

Women are socialized to actively seek out male validation. And most women have not broken out of that socialization. Seeking male validation, approval, and permission is gender conforming behavior. Imitating the way a male mentor speaks and acts is a way of seeking male validation. Competing with men is a way of seeking male validation. Of course women rarely receive male validation. But the act of seeking it out is gender conforming.

If you're not looking for male validation, this post isn't about you. But not everyone in the world is exactly like you. Just because you don't relate to something, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

It's not a moral failure to be gender conforming. It's not a moral failure to still be working through your female socialization. It is an extremely normal and common experience that all women go through at their own pace.

there isnt anything inherently feminine abt wanting approval from peers, competition, wanting attention, etc. and while i agree socialization skews in favor of men, i dont see how thats relevant to what you said in your first post. were socialized to do a lot of contradictory, conflicting things bc gender has no reason to be other than to keep women subservient. in some situations this might mean making us seek attention from men with our beauty. in others it might mean keeping ourselves plain and out of a mans business. no single trait or behavior is inherently feminine or masculine, all of this is situational and whatever benefits men most goes. if were socialized to do anything, its to change ourselves at a whim to suit men.