o dear

we've sent 2,500 senior dogs to a six week Javascript bootcamp using the funds we raised from our ransomware operation. and that's just the beginning. starting next month every fruit will be different

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

i'm slowly turning into a woman that enjoys broccoli

love characters who are like "this is how the world works. this is how it has to be (because if i'm wrong i have to face what i've done // if i'm wrong i have to face whats been done to me) "

This trait is much more endearing in fiction than in my mother.

I think we as a society need to thank Hbomberguy profusely for exposing James Somerton before he could comment on Heated Rivalry

the thing about body horror is that there's nothing you can come up with that can compete with what the human body will do to itself under a sufficient amount of stress

EXCEPT ‼️ radiation poisoning. that shit is fuuuuuucked.

it’s okay to be horny as long as u feel really bad and gross and weird about it

If you enjoyed this book you should read every other book in the world for extra textual context. All things are intricately related to one another.

we need loser girls now more than ever

everything should cost one dollar, ten dollars, or one hundred dollars. a drinky drink is one dollar. a t shirt is ten dollars. rent is one hundred. i might be convinced to allow one thousand dollars for some very big purchases like a house. i get it, you're running a business. i'm not unreasonable.

President on president fellatio, call that the head of state…

you can’t talk about vampires and their views on menstrual blood anywhere else besides here. On account of the stigma

stigma fangs in your pussy. LOL

having a cat is great. there's a small little animal wandering around. effervescent

EATING MY CHARGER

trump's gonna declare himself king via executive order and the democrats are gonna be like, DEADNAME, democracy is at stake. Can you spare $2?